"Can you believe that my father and I actually hugged? Not just a little hello hug but a real hug?" John said into the phone. It was well past 10pm and John was downstairs quietly using the phone in the computer room.
"So, it takes a total nervous breakdown to get your family to notice you?" Abby said into the phone.
John chuckled. "You think what I had was a nervous breakdown?" He teased.
"Well, what else would you call it?" She asked.
"I don't know." John groaned, rubbing his face. "Dijana says she got me a shift at the local hospital on Wednesday. 7am-3pm. It's better than nothing. Gets me back here in time for therapy. I just hope I get to deal with more than ear aches and diarrhea." He laughed.
"Don't forget 'rashes of unknown origins'." Abby said.
"Oh, can't forget the those." John said quietly, smiling to himself.
"So, did you end up sitting next to them?" Abby asked.
"Yes. After my dad hugged me, he kissed me and of course, Mom cried. It was weird sitting with them and neither of them having a drink in their hands." He said. "We talked about Bobby and my mom's hospitalization. Would you actually believe they apologized?"
"Did you accept the apology?" Abby asked.
"I haven't yet. Dijana told me to think about it," he answered.
"Dijana, huh? What happened to Dr. Sajak?" Abby teased.
"Everyone here is on a first name basis."
"She sounds like she handles therapy a bit different than Kim did with Maggie." Abby said. "So, you okay with your parents?"
"For the moment, yeah, I think I am. We'll see when I get back home if anything changes. My parents are very good at appearances."
Matt knock quietly on the open door and pointed to his watch indicating that John was supposed to be in his room although most of the staff were used to him not being asleep at this time anyways. John turned and waved at Matt holding up a finger to indicate another minute.
"15 more minutes, okay, John?" Matt smiled and left him alone.
"Speaking of coming home, what time do I get to pick you up tomorrow night?" Abby asked.
John thought for a minute. "Dinner is at 5 so I get to leave then. Are you driving up here or having Luka bring you?" He asked, causing Abby to laugh hard.
"Luka? Why would I have Luka bring me up there, John? I'm coming up there for a passionate night to fuck your brains out and I'm going to have my ex-boyfriend drive me up there?" She joked back. It didn't take her long to realize John wasn't laughing.
"Hey, John, I'm kidding, Sweetie." She said, wishing she'd never said anything.
John paced in the quiet room. "Maybe we should cancel this whole thing?"
"I'm sorry, John. Of course I'm driving. I didn't mean anything by the Luka thing. He's been the perfect gentleman." She tried.
John snickered. "Abby, that's not what's bothering me," he admitted.
"What's wrong?" She asked. She thought about it and realized what else she'd said. "Oh, Baby, don't feel any pressure. I just want to spend some time with you. I don't care if we don't do anything." John moaned.
"God, Abby, that's not it either. I want to, trust me, I do. It's just, oh, man, this is embarrassing. I'm not sure if I can. My boy is letting me down." He said.
"Oh, I think I'll get his attention." Abby purred, hearing John chuckle.
"I think I'm getting sleepy." John yawned.
"Good. Go to bed, John and dream about how much I love you," Abby said.
"Oh, no. I'm not going to risk wearing the poor boy out. I'm saving it all for you." He laughed. "I love you, Abby."
"Good night, John."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mike strolled out onto the back patio to find Matt sitting alone.
"Hey, Good morning," Mike said pulling up a chair to watch the sunrise.
"Morning Mike. If you came out here looking for John, I haven't seen him yet."
"Our cameras show he's still asleep," Mike sipped his coffee.
"Really?" Matt looked up from his notes. "I thought maybe he just decided to hang out somewhere else this morning."
"Nope, been sleeping like a baby all night," Mike smiled.
"Who's sleeping like a baby?" John asked stepping outside still looking a bit tousled, but well rested. He yawned as he pulled a cigarette from its pack and took a seat at the table near Matt.
"So what did that woman of yours say to ya that got you to sleep through the night?" Matt bantered as he reached over and ruffled John's messy hair.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"All right, John. When you begin to feel those memories coming to the surface, I want you to close your eyes and begin to count to ten. I want you to take control, to feel your body begin to relax, to slow your breathing, taking your strength from your fears. By the time you've reached ten, you will be in control of your emotions, of your mind and your reactions. Do you understand?" Dr. Hansen said.
"Yes." John nodded.
"Good. John, I need you to come back to us now. You should feel relaxed, positive and in control." Dr. Hansen said calmly. John began to flinch and slowly move around. He slowly opened his eyes.
"How was that?" John asked, sitting up. He much preferred being put under by Veronica because she always touched him afterwards but Dr. Hansen was okay.
"That was a good session, John. How do you feel?" He asked.
John thought for a few moments. "Counting to ten is gonna put me back into control?" He laughed.
"Only if you believe it will." Dr. Hansen returned to his desk. "That brings our time to an end, I'm afraid." Dr. Hansen checked his watch. "Are you excited to get out of here for a while?"
"Honestly, yes. It's going to be great not to have anyone making sure I'm in bed by ten." John said.
~~~~~~~~~~~
While John was in his afternoon session with Dr. Hansen, Abby had arrived early and was waiting in the front lobby. Dijana was on her way out of the office when she saw her sitting there.
"Abby, how are you?" Dijana greeted her. "You're here to pick up John, correct?" She asked.
"Yes," Abby nodded.
"Do you have a minute?" Dijana looked at her watch and knew that Abby must be early because John was still in with Dr. Hansen.
"Nancy, would you have John join us in my office when he comes out?" Dijana spoke to the receptionist. She then led Abby into her office.
"I have to be honest and say that even though John has really made progress in leaps and bonds, I thought it only fair to let you know that I believe that he still has a long ways to go." Dijana took a seat on the couch inviting Abby to sit next to her.
"I'm not sure I understand what you're saying? Does that mean you think he'll be in here for a long time?" Abby choked back her emotions.
"That's really very hard to say this early in the game. A lot is going to depend on how well he responds to the medication and how soon he learns to control how he responds to his feelings of fear and doubt." Dijana took Abby's hand.
"I think that it's a bit early for him to be doing any outside visiting but I'm making this exception because I believe that he should start celebrating his birthday and it should be in a setting of his choosing." Dijana spoke honestly. "I don't want to scare you or put any undo pressure on you but if you have any questions please don't hesitate to call me."
"It does help to know that both Luka and Kerry are familiar with what's going on. I'm sure he'll be fine." Abby claimed nervously as she tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear.
"I understand that up until now John hasn't felt like he had much family support but I'd like to hope that after yesterday, that he sees things a bit differently. I'm concerned for you as well. What kind of family support do you have, Hon?" Dijana asked knowing nothing at all of Abby's background.
Abby laughed and stood, pacing. "John obviously hasn't told you much about me." Abby wrung her hands and looked back towards Dijana.
"No, he hasn't, only that the two of you have known each other for quite a long time but that your romantic relationship is very new."
"Well, I haven't seen my father since I was quite young. My mother is bipolar and I usually only see her when she goes off her meds and finds her way back into my life for some brief period of time and my brother is an air traffic controller in the air force in Saudi Arabia. That pretty much sums up my family. I was married young and divorced the bastard because he cheated on me." Abby continued pacing. "I have basically had to take care of myself most of my life. I guess that's one of the reasons that John and I have sort of latched onto each other because we have a lot in common and we take care of each other." Abby stopped pacing and sat down next to Dijana. Looking into the woman's eyes she asked, "He is going to be okay, won't he? I mean he'll get well, right?"
"Yes, Abby, he will." Dijana confirmed. "It's just going to take some time. He'll need a lot of help and support but he will get through this."
John knocked on the door and entered cautiously. "Hey, Abby." He swooped her up into his arms as she stood to meet him. Their lips met in a short but very passionate kiss.
"Sorry, Dijana." John blushed through his permanent grin, still holding Abby tightly against him.
"I take it your session with Dr. Hansen went well." Dijana stood, knowing that John was anxious to leave.
"I guess so," John nodded.
"And you remembered to get your meds." Dijana asked.
"Yes, Mother," John, grinned.
Abby giggled at hearing John's stomach rumbling. "So, don't they feed you in here?" She kidded.
"Actually it's dinner time right now," John smiled. "But I think I can wait until we get out of here."
"There's a really nice restaurant called 'Old Town' not far from here if you want a good place to eat." Dijana gathered up her jacket and purse as she ushered the happy couple out the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"That was really good," John relaxed, dabbing his mouth with a napkin. They had decided to check out the restaurant that Dijana had recommended.
Abby pulled out a pack of cigarettes and offered John one. Slipping off her shoe, she laid her foot right into John's lap. John laughed as he held her foot, massaging it gently with one hand.
All through dinner, John had felt a bit apprehensive about this entire evening. He was scared that things wouldn't turn out as he hoped they would but he was determined to make the best of it.
Dijana had talked to him about trying not to think so much about what may or may not happen and just let the evening unfold.
"I need to tell you that I also invited Susan and Jing-Mei." Abby casually pulled her foot from John's lap and sat up straight as she sipped her coffee.
"Why?" John nearly choked. He cleared his throat and asked, "I thought this was only going to be family and Luka and Kerry."
"John, this has been very hard on me." She said. "Even though your sister has been a big help, I needed a little more than just Kerry's support at work. Besides Susan already knew a few things from your first session with Veronica and Jing-Mei was always pestering me for information. They just care about you, John and they want to help." Abby found that her hands where shaking as she nervously tried to explain to John.
John rubbed at his temples for a moment and then looked up at Abby. She was twirling her spoon in her coffee and looking like she was about to cry.
"It's okay, Abby. I'm sorry. It just took me by surprise, that's all." John took Abby's hand and ran his thumb over her ring. He motioned toward the exit. "Come on, let's go. I want to go home." John smiled.
The ride home started out relatively quiet. Abby turned on some soft music and reached out to hold onto John's hand. He glanced over at her occasionally as he tried to keep his mind on the road.
"I'm surprised that you never asked me about what Dr. Sajak and I talked about." Abby smiled.
"Nope, Dijana says that I have to start accepting the fact that everyone is just doing their best to try to help me and that I have to stop acting so paranoid. It's really hard but I'm working on it." John answered proudly.
"She sounds like she really cares. I'm glad that you're making that progress." Abby replied.
"So, is Barbara still staying with you?" John asked curiously, wanting to know what to expect when they got home. He was really hoping that they would be alone.
"Yes, she is but she's going to stay at Gamma's tonight and help your mother with tomorrows preparations." Abby smiled mischievously.
"Oh God, I hope they aren't making a bit deal out of this." John stated nervously.
"No, not at all. Barbara and I explained to everyone that this is to be a very intimate time for family and close friends only." Abby reassured him. "There won't be any search lights, photographers, stuffy friends, valets, or Senator's daughters, either. I believe the guest list is under twenty." Abby said with her nose in the air and a slight nasal tone.
"That's just plain scary," John laughed at her mockery.
"What?" Abby playfully smirked.
"I fear you've been hanging around Barbara too long."
"Oh, but Darling, you really should have been there when Barbara told your mother that you just wanted a simple 'barbecue' in the backyard." Abby continued her mocking.
"Stop!" John couldn't stop laughing as he wiped at the tears.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As soon as they made their way inside the apartment, John closed the door. In a matter of seconds, he had Abby literally pinned up against the wall. Their lips locked as they passionately kissed, their hands roaming every inch that they could reach of each other's body.
"Oh, God, John." Abby moaned breathlessly.
They broke apart, both breathing heavily as they proceeded to strip each other's clothes off, as quickly as possible.
"Abby, I need to feel you." John moaned. His hands slid under Abby's blouse and in one fluid movement he pulled it up over her head.
"Please." Abby groaned as her hands feverishly worked at the buttons on his shirt. John reached behind her and unhooked her bra, pulling down the straps. He wanted to feel her bare breasts as she continued to strip off his shirt.
"This is taking way too long." John smiled. Abby giggled. They both pulled back just long enough to allow the articles of clothing to fall to the floor.
"I wish you'd have worn your suspenders." Abby began to work on John's belt while he toed his shoes off and kicked them aside. She unzipped his pants and pushed them down, leaving him in only his boxers and his socks.
John pulled her close to him and held her tightly as he realized that his body was not responding to her touch. He groaned against her, frustrated.
"It's okay, John." Abby smiled, touching his face and looking into his eyes. "We'll just take things slow and easy and if it doesn't happen then it will still be okay." Abby brought his face down to hers for a slow, passionate kiss.
As he pressed himself against her, she slid her hands slowly down his back and inside of his boxers and began to push them down.
"Oh, my God!" Barbara squealed as she came out of the guestroom. "I didn't think you guys would start that before you even got in the door!" She turned and went back to her room.
Abby and John pulled instantly away from one another when they heard Barbara's voice, both shocked. As Barbara returned to her room, they began laughing as they grabbed their clothes and began putting them back on.
"I thought you said she wasn't going to be here?" John whispered, still laughing.
"I didn't think she was." Abby smirked.
As soon as they were finished dressing, Abby went to the guestroom to tell Barbara it was safe for her to come out.
"I thought you were going to be gone?" Abby blushed as she opened the door.
"I was but I forgot something and came back. I was a bit worried when you guys weren't here already so I thought that I'd hang out at least long enough to see my little brother. But I think I've seen more of him than I cared to. I'm really sorry. I never meant to break up your little reunion." Barbara rambled on. "God, if I know John, he's probably hiding under the bed or something by now."
"No, just in the kitchen getting some water," Abby, laughed. "Actually you can come out now, he's dressed and I know he'd love to see you." Abby assured her. Barbara had a hard time wiping the grin off her face, particularly when she saw the haphazard way John had redressed.
"I am so sorry, John, but those plaid boxers just ruined my image of you. I always remember you running around in those cute little 'Star Wars' butt huggers you had." Barbara giggled as she gave her little brother a big hug. "You wore those until they were shredded."
"Yeah, it's nice to see you, too." John was still about 3 shades of red as he took a long thirsty drink from his glass.
Abby couldn't get over the resemblance of the two siblings as they playfully bantered back and forth.
"Did you guys pull off the side of the road for a quickie? I thought you'd be here over an hour ago." Barbara continued.
"No," John rolled his eyes. "We went out to dinner. Dijana told us about this really great steakhouse not far from the center." John put on some music and settled on the couch with Abby leaning against him.
"Well, I'm going to let you two get back to what you were doing," Barbara winked. "Don't get up, I can find my way out."
Abby was already up and showing Barbara to the door. "Thanks Barb, for everything." Abby stepped outside with Barbara.
"He looks good." Barbara smiled and gave Abby a hug. "You take care of him and call if you need anything." Barbara couldn't help but to worry about John.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Abby came back into the apartment, she noticed the couch was empty she looked around and didn't she John anywhere.
"John!" She called as she entered the bedroom. "John!" She called out again a bit more panicked.
John opened the bathroom door in nothing but his boxers. "I was getting ready to take a shower." He looked at her worried face. "Come here." He pulled her close. "I'm fine really, you don't have to worry about me."
"I do worry about you, John, because I love you." She took his face in her hands and kissed him deeply, her tongue exploring every inch of his mouth. He kissed back and held her close, never wanting to let her go.
"You want to shower with me?" He asked; his eyes smoldered with desire for her.
Abby felt the shivers all the way down to her toes as John's tongue brushed along her neck.
"Do we really need the shower right now?" Abby whimpered as he nibbled at her ear.
"My back's a little sore. I thought the hot water would help relax me a bit." John grimaced at the dull throbbing pain in his lower back. He pulled Abby's blouse up over her head and released her bra. She pushed his boxers over his hips and they gathered around his ankles. He kicked them aside as Abby wrapped her arms around him and rubbed his back. He rested his chin on her shoulder as he let her work at his tensed muscles.
John pulled back just far enough to undo the button and zipper of Abby's jeans, and helped her push them down. While Abby stepped out of her remaining clothes, John turned the water on to get it hot. Turning back towards Abby, they gazed into each other's eyes, as they stood before each other completely naked.
"I love you so much, Abby Lockhart," John purred.
"I love you too, John Truman Carter," Abby cooed.
John smiled at hearing his real name. He was truly beginning to believe that he was going to get well and could be himself again.
As the hot steam filled the room John stepped into the shower, Abby tied her hair up. Following John into the shower, they began tenderly and lovingly bathing each other. John poured a generous amount of bathwash onto the sponge while Abby started with the shampoo. John rubbed the sponge over Abby's body as she rubbed the shampoo into his silky hair.
After they both rinsed off, they traded places and were soon bathing each other with passionate kisses. John stood where the water could hit his lower back as Abby leaned against the wall in front of him. One hand roamed her breast as his mouth covered the other. His tongue teased her as his free hand began an exploration of its own. She gasped as he trailed his fingers with feather soft touches over her most intimate area and parted her legs with his hand. She reached out and fondled his balls and stroked him lightly until he began to respond to her manipulations. Abby moaned as she felt his fingers enter her. She arched her back and spread her legs farther for him as she felt him thrust his fingers deep inside.
Abby rocked her hips slightly forward as he continued to work his tongue against her taunt nipples, his hand never leaving her, as he continued to gently stroke her insides. "Oh God, John, yes!" Abby cried out her pleasure. She wrapped her arms around him wanting to feel the closeness. John nuzzled her neck as he pressed himself against her. He kissed her lips and leaded his head against her forehead.
"Let's take this to the bed," John whispered. He turned off the water and they stepped out of the shower. Abby handed him a towel as she pulled the pins out of her hair allowing it to cascade down her shoulders.
As they made their way to the bed, John laid her down and crawled seductively over her small body. His body was cooperating and needy, his face flushed with desire as she reached down for him. His eyes smoldered with want and need.
"You are so beautiful." He murmured in her ear as he positioned himself between her legs and slowly entered her. Abby's moans only served to entice him. He moved slowly at first, in and out, thrusting deeply inside of her. He loved to watch her writhe beneath him as she pushed herself against him, meeting his thrusts. He leaned over and slowly kissed her closed eyelids, making his way across her forehead and down her neck. She turned towards him and sucked at his earlobes. She knew that was the one place that drove him wild.
Abby held his hips, pulling him deeper inside of her as her climax began to build. John reached down between them and touched her clitoris, making her squirm fiercely. A smile spread across his face as he thrust deeper and harder.
"Oh, God, John, yes, come for me, Baby!" She cried out at the waves of pleasure wracked her body and she held him tighter. John quickened his pace briefly as he felt her juices flow from her inner core. As he felt her body relaxed beneath him, he gently withdrew, as she lay breathless. He slowly rolled onto his back.
"John?" Abby spoke as she raised herself up on her side. He drew her to him holding her alongside his body. She could feel him still hard as she ran her fingers along his length. "What happened, Babe?"
"There were moments that I felt like it was beginning to build, but then the sensation would go away. It just wasn't there." He kissed her cheek and held her tightly.
"Oh, I bet I could find it." She kissed her way up as she straddled his waist.
"That might do it." John chuckled as he reached up to touch her breasts. She slowly impaled herself on him as he moaned, feeling her encasing his flesh. Abby began to move up and down, finding a rhythm that seemed to please him. He whimpered softly as Abby quickened her pace.
"Oh God, Abby, you feel so good," John groaned, his breathing quickened as he closed his eyes in concentration. She continued to lift herself up and down, matching his thrusts. She leaned her head back as she could feel herself ready to climax. His breathing intensified.
"Oh God John..." She called as he thrust himself into her, holding onto her hips. Abby rode out the waves once more as John rolled them onto their sides. He curled his body against hers and laid his head on her shoulder.
As soon as Abby could breathe again, she wiped the stream of sweat from his temple. "I'm sorry, Baby," she whispered reaching down to stroke him.
"Don't be." He took her hand and brought it up to his chest. He was afraid to open his eyes. He didn't want to see the disappointment that he was sure would be there.
To be continued....
Copyright Footer', 'This site is not affiliated in any way with "ER", its writers or production company, or NBC, and makes no profit from the show. The ERROS skin is by Brihana. The script is eFiction version 3.4.2© Tammy Keefer, http://efiction.org\r\n