"Brandon, Dijana just called. She wants us to come out to the center as soon as we can get there." Veronica exclaimed as she knocked on the shower door.
"Did something happen with John? Is he all right?" Brandon asked as he stepped out of the shower, taking the towel that Veronica handed him.
"She just said that it was urgent and asked if we could get there as soon as possible." Veronica explained. "My God, Brandon. What do you think could have happened?"
"Darling, I don't even want to try and come up with possibilities." Brandon said, as he quickly got dressed.
Veronica sat hard onto the bed. "Oh, God, Brandon. What if he …?" She began, unable to complete the sentence. Brandon quickly knelt and hugged his wife.
"Honey, if he had, she would have said that. Let's get dressed and get down there, okay?" He coaxed.
"Okay," she slowly nodded.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dr. Bowers watched John from the observation window.
"Dijana, I can't give him anything else. The last dose still isn't affecting him and I can't safely give any more. He still isn't responding appropriately." He informed her. "We took his vitals and his heart rate and BP are elevated. What is the chance he took something?"
"I don't know." She paced the hall. " Matt said he came out of his room, went to the computers, called his girlfriend and then he came into my office and told me to remove a name off his contact list. I could tell there was something wrong so I had Matt follow him. Matt said he got more and more incoherent out at the stables until he had a complete breakdown. What did that 'woman' say to him?" She said, angry.
"You called his other therapist, right? The one that was here the other night?" Dr. Bowers asked.
"Yes, but it's going to take them at least 45 minutes to get here." She said.
"The sedation will keep him safe and we'll continue to monitor him, Dijana. He'll come out of this." Dr. Bowers reassured.
Dr. Hansen came in the front door. "Dijana, I got your message. What's going on?" He asked.
"It's John, he's totally incoherent. He talked to his girlfriend a little while ago and then he went out to the stables and collapsed, screaming from the voices. Walter, he's been sedated and he's almost violent. When I was last in there, he was humming happy birthday. Do you remember anything about that? I don't have my notes. I remember something about his birthday." She rambled. For some reason, John had affected her more than most.
"That was the day his abuser told him she'd been using him." Dr. Hansen said, watching John fight the restraints and occasionally cry, begging them to let him go.
"Oh, God, you're right." She said. Then, suddenly something else popped in her mind. "Dr. Bowers, you have your chart in here. Can I see it?" She asked, following him into his office. He handed her the chart.
"The 4th. Today is the 1st. I wonder if his girlfriend wished him happy birthday?" She thought aloud.
"Dr. Bowers or Dr. Sajak, please contact the front desk." Was heard over the intercom.
"I bet Veronica and Brandon are here." Dijana said, calling the front office. "Yes, that's wonderful, no, please give them directions, yes, the medical center, thank you." She said, replacing the receiver.
"They are on their way. I'm sure she'll be able to get to him quicker than we will." She said, returning to the hall. Dr. Hansen had gone into John's room and tried to speak to him but wasn't getting very far.
Soon, Veronica and Brandon came running into the center.
"What's going on?" Veronica asked, looking into the observation window. The first site of John in restraints made her ill. "Oh, God, why have you got him tied up?"
"Veronica, John has experienced a complete mental breakdown." Dijana began explaining. In the meanwhile, Brandon went into the room.
"Is he talking?" Brandon whispered to Dr. Hansen.
"Not coherently. He seems to be stuck in the past but his memories are all confused. One minute, he's a child and the next he's talking about his girlfriend." He explained.
Brandon moved slowly to the bed, watching John humming and playing with one wrist strap.
"John, Baby? It's Brandon. Can you hear me?" Brandon began to reach out when John's eyes suddenly flew open and directly at him.
"Don't TOUCH ME!" John yelled, trying to pull away.
The first thing Brandon did was unhook the shackles from John's ankles. As he came closer, John kicked out wildly, making direct contact several times but Brandon persisted.
Veronica came in to join him.
"Roni, you get the left wrist and I'll get the right." Brandon suggested.
"John, it's Brandon and Veronica, Baby. We've come to make you better, Sugar. Come on, let us take those things off of your hands."
"Don't touch me!" He half yelled, half cried, sounding terrified.
Brandon reached for his left wrist and John twisted and bit Brandon.
"Dammit!" Brandon jerked back. "Roni, I'm going to try again but I want you to get that one off quickly, okay?" He suggested quietly. She nodded.
John cried, begging them to leave him alone, saying he'd be good; he'd do what they wanted if they just untied him. Both Veronica and Brandon had tears running down their faces as they worked.
Suddenly, both wrists were free and John instantly curled up into a ball.
"John, Honey, it's me, Veronica." She began to stroke his face while Brandon got onto the bed behind John's curled up figure and he wrapped his arms around John's shaking body. Dijana and both the doctors stood at the back of the room.
"John, I want you to come forward with me, Honey. It's me, Baby, Roni, and Brandon's here. We're both here and we're going to take care of you now, just come back to me, Sweetheart." She stroked his face repeatedly and soon John began to calm down.
"Honey, tell me what you're thinking? Talk to me, John, please, Honey. I love you. Brandon loves you." She said over and over again.
"She told …everyone…she told them... how can …she do that?" He whispered, the words finally coming in short gasps.
"Who told who, John?" Veronica asked. "No one has told anyone anything."
"She…did…Abby…said she did." John said.
"Who, Honey. I don't know whom you're talking about. Can you tell me?" Veronica urged.
"Abby…she said Kerry…told them…told everyone." He said, becoming more coherent. "She said …Weaver told everyone …why I was gone."
"Baby, Kerry wouldn't do that." Brandon whispered into his ear.
"John, what happened when you talked to Abby, Honey? Didn't she tell you how much she loves you?" Veronica asked.
"Oh, yeah." He snickered sarcastically. "She told me she wanted to show me how much she loved me. She just wants me to fuck her like all the rest. That's all they ever wanted. That's all any of them ever want. That's all I'm good for. Nicole said so and she was right." He said, now completely back.
"John, you were humming happy birthday. Did your girlfriend say anything about a birthday, about your birthday?" Dijana asked.
"She wished me a happy birthday." He mumbled reluctantly.
Now Dijana knew what triggered this episode.
"John, Honey, was Abby happy to hear from you?" Veronica asked.
He nodded, cuddling between the two bodies.
"Baby, I think you need to see her. I think it's time to see Abby." Brandon said.
Veronica gently stroked his unshaven face while Brandon caressed the length of his body. John was silent.
"He's been sedated. He's probably asleep." Dr. Bowers commented.
"I'm not asleep." John said clearly.
Dr. Bowers snickered, relief flowing over all of them.
"Can we call your girlfriend, John?" Dijana asked.
"Okay." He said quietly
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Abby and Barbara came in the front door, laughing. They'd been out with Jing-Mei and Susan all morning having breakfast and doing a little shopping, it being such a wondrous occasion. As they exited the elevators, Abby thought it strange that she saw Luka sitting next to her door.
"Hey, Luka. What are you doing here?" Abby laughed, carrying a few packages.
Luka's face was solemn as he stood. "Abby, it's John," he said.
Abby paled instantly. "What about John?" She asked.
Barbara was also listening. "What happened to my brother?" Barbara asked as she unlocked the door.
Luka followed them inside. "I got a call from Dijana about an hour ago. She needs us to come down to the center right away," he explained.
"Why? What happened?" Abby asked, shock still clear on her face.
"Abby, I don't know. She said that something happened this morning and that Veronica and Brandon were already there. She said Veronica wants you there also."
"But I just talked to him. He sent me an email, I replied, and then he called me. Luka, what happened to John?" Abby began to cry as she begged Luka for answers.
"Abby, I don't have any answers. All I know is that we need to go, now." Luka insisted.
"Abby, go." Barbara pushed her toward the door. "I'll stay here and you call me when you find out if he's okay. I'll stay here in case I need to let the family know." Barbara said rationally.
"Okay." Abby said but she just stared at Luka with tears in her eyes.
"Come on, Abby." Luka led. She was probably just in shock. No one knew if John was okay.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Abby was silent during the entire trip as Luka broke all speed records getting to the Center. In just over half an hour, they pulled up out front.
"Luka, I can't do this." She finally broke the silence as he stopped the car.
"Abby," Luka opened her door and knelt by the passenger seat. "Right now, John needs you to be strong, okay? They called us down here because he needs to see you and needs to know that you're still there. Abby, please...he needs you to remain stable. You give him something to focus on, to keep him connected to the here and now. You've got to go in there and tell him he is your one true love." He smiled, touching her face gently.
"He is. He is my passion," she said, listening closely.
"So, go tell him." Luka held out his hand for her.
"May I help you?" The woman at the front desk asked.
"Yes, we're here to see Dr. Sajak. She's expecting us." Luka explained as he introduced himself to the woman.
"Oh, is this Abby Lockhart?" The woman asked, looking at Abby's tear stained face.
Abby slowly nodded. "Where is he?" She asked.
"Come with me. I'll take you to the medical center myself.
"Jake, watch the desk for me." She called to the security guard as she stood in the doorway. "This way."
They were led through the center, down a long hallway exiting the building they walked through the vast yard into another building. Upon entering the medical center, they were led down another long hall. Veronica noticed them immediately. She met Abby and pulled her into a hug.
"Oh, Honey, I'm so glad you could come. This is going to mean so much to him." Veronica said.
"What happened? What happened to John? He was fine when I talked to him." Abby asked, so confused.
"You must be Abby." Dijana joined them and led them to a waiting area. "My name is Dijana Sajak and I've been treating your friend. I'd like to speak to you for a few moments before we bring you in to see him, alright?"
"Who's with him? Is he scared?" Abby asked.
Veronica stroked her hair softly. "Brandon's in with him, Honey. He's taking good care of him," Veronica reassured.
"Abby, in the past week, John has been discovering many difficult issues in his past and he's been very emotional. Right now, we're still in the identifying stages and haven't even began to teach him how to deal with the problem issues." Dijana explained.
"Listen, Dijana, I want to know what you people did to him and what happened today." Abby didn't want to listen to a replay of the whole week. She wanted to see John.
"Uh, Abby, actually, what set him off this morning I believe is something you said, not my staff." Dijana stated plainly.
Abby looked at her, shocked. "What?"
"Well, since he has become coherent, he's told us that you said Dr. Weaver told everyone, I'm assuming at the hospital why he's out and you wished him happy birthday." Dijana said.
"No, that's not what I said. Yeah, I wished him happy birthday in case I didn't talk to him but I didn't tell him Weaver told anyone anything. I just said she told everyone he wasn't using and that everyone was real supportive on his return." Abby explained as she tried to remember just what she could have said that made jump to such conclusions.
"Honey, it doesn't matter what was said. John's listening skills right now are very selective. He hears the wrong messages, Honey. Right now he only hears the bad." Veronica explained.
"He said he didn't like himself right now." Abby said. "Please let me see him." She begged Dijana, who nodded to Veronica.
"Okay, Honey but let me explain what you'll see once you get in there. John has caused some injuries to himself and he's been restrained most of the morning." Veronica explained as Dijana left the room.
"Oh, God." Abby gasped.
"Honey, he's all right. If these people would just realize that the restraints just make him worse, he'd be better off. Honey, he's been taking the Paxil for several days but due to his outburst this morning, they did have to sedate him. They need to keep him here in the medical center in order to monitor him. His arms and ankles are bruised from the fight he put up this morning when he found himself in restraints. Honey, he did become violent and he was out of control for a few hours this morning but he does know where he is now and why. He is very sleepy and very depressed right now. He has a nice little bruise on his forehead from slamming his own head into the ground and a very small cut where he may have hit a rock while he was out in the stables." Veronica explained.
Abby just kept nodding. "I need to see him." She mumbled.
"Dijana says he refuses to shave because they won't give his a razor without supervision." Veronica added.
"Do they still think he's suicidal?" Abby asked.
"I'm sure it's just a normal precaution." Veronica tried to pacify her. "Honey, just tell him how much you love him. Right now, he's thinking you're just like all those other horrible woman who have hurt him in the past and he needs to see that you're different." Veronica kissed her softly.
The two women walked slowly to the room. Before entering, Abby looked in the window and all she could see was Brandon curled up behind John wrapped securely around him, John's head resting on Brandon's arm.
Dr. Bowers looked up as he saw Veronica enter. She mouthed 'Abby' and he nodded.
"He's asleep." Brandon said, slowly unwrapping himself and getting up. Veronica pulled a chair around for Abby.
"Here, Honey, we're going to leave you two alone but we'll be watching from the window. Let us know if you need help, okay?" She reassured.
Abby was already crying and had been since Luka had arrived at her door.
She walked slowly up to the side of John's curled up figure. He looked very pale and she could see the bruises on his arms and the bandage on his forehead. She could also see the deep circles under his eyes and the gaunt, hollow look to his face. She sat on the chair and leaned over as she began stroking the soft hairs on his face.
"John, Honey, it's me, Abby. Hey, Baby, can you wake up for me? John, it's me, Abby." She said softly, running her fingers through his hair. Slowly, his facial muscles began to flinch and he opened his eyes, obviously being a great effort.
"Abby?" He whispered, still half asleep.
"Yes, Honey, it's me." She smiled.
"Oh, God, Abby." He said, reaching out with his upper hand, touching her cheek. "Abby, I'm so sorry." He mumbled, finally looking into her eyes.
"I love you, John. I love you so much." She cried, leaning in for a kiss.
John rolled his head up as both his hands wrapped around the back of her head as he kissed back, his desperation growing as the kiss intensified. Abby stood and she leaned over him, kissing him back with all the love and passion she held for him.
John's mouth opened for her tongue, moaning in desire as she pressed against his lips. He felt dizzy as his hand slipped down, needing to feel her entire body. Abby understood and she carefully crawled upon the bed and pressed against him, her lips never breaking contact. Abby laid half her body on top of his and he clung to her, finally feeling whole.
"Oh, God, John." Abby whispered into his ear as he kissed her entire face.
Dijana came into the room quietly and she pulled the curtains on the observation window. She smiled and winked as Abby looked at her. John didn't notice. Abby was the only one he saw.
"Abby, I need you so much. God, I missed you." He whispered breathlessly as he kissed down the side of her face, pulling her completely on top of him.
"I love you, John. I've never stopped loving you." She replied, finally feeling the emptiness she's been feeling for a week dissolve.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I think we'll just give them some privacy." Dijana said, smiling as she came back out of the room. "Why don't you all come with me to my office. I believe we need to come up with a bit of a different plan on where to go from here." She said, motioning all the doctors, including Luka and Brandon to follow.
Once everyone was settled, she began to give everyone a recap of what had happened over the past week, including this morning.
"He's got to learn how to deal with the memories." Luka commented.
"I know that, Luka. My fear is bringing him back to the events and with how many events we've got to deal with. I'm used to dealing with one event or a series of related events but John just has so many. This is going to be very hard for him." Dr. Hansen stated.
"Dr. Hansen, you don't know John very well." Veronica stated. "He may not seem like it right now but that man is very strong."
"I haven't seen much of that," Walter stated.
"You've got him at a disadvantage here." Luka stated, in John's defense. "You've never seen him when he's been in control. You've never seen him stand up to his family or run a trauma. In here, he's weak." He said.
"You've got to give him back his control," Brandon stated.
"We will. That's what we've got to work on." Dijana said. These men were so protective of John. She could hear it in their voices.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Abby kissed down John's neck as his breathing increased. She ran her hands down his sides, straddling his thighs as she placed kisses down his chest.
"John, I love you and I need you to come back to me, Baby." She moaned, pressing herself against his pelvic region. John moaned.
Abby began to undo his belt when suddenly she noticed the look on his face.
"John, what's wrong?" She stopped. "Honey, what's wrong?" She asked, touching his bearded face. He pulled her off slightly and he rolled away from her.
"Abby, I can't." He mumbled, curling up.
"Honey, what?" She asked, afraid she'd done something wrong. She wrapped herself around his back and slid an arm under his head while wrapping the other hand over his chest. He held her hand, pulling it to his lips and kissing it.
"I just can't, not here." He moaned, pressing her hand against his cheek. She could feel his skin, wet from tears.
"It's okay, Honey." She whispered into his ear. "I just need to be with you and this is okay. We don't have to do anything. Just holding you is enough. God, John, do you have any idea how much I love you? I have been dying without you. I didn't know I could love anyone as much as I realize I love you. You mean everything to me. You are my everything." She continued to whisper in his ear.
Soon, John's breathing became shallow and steady. Abby knew he was asleep. She laid her head against the back of his neck, listening to him breathe. This was enough for her, just to hold him in her arms and feel him near.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Over an hour later, Abby came out of the room, looking for an employee. Dr. Bowers was sitting in his office.
"How is he?" He asked, seeing her pass by his open door. She stopped and came back.
"He's been sleeping and he just woke up. He says he's hungry." She fidgeted with a strand of hair. "He says he hasn't had anything to eat today."
"That's wonderful." He smiled. "I'll have the kitchen fix something. Are you hungry?"
"Ah, no. I'm fine." She smiled. "He's going stir crazy. Is there someplace we can go where he can get up and stretch?"
"Of course. I'll be right there. I just want to get a set of vitals on him and you can take him out back." He said, picking up his phone to call the kitchen. Abby returned to the room where John was.
John was sitting up on the side of the bed, looking at the bruises on his arms. He looked up when Abby returned.
"Find someone?" He asked, holding out his arms for her.
"The doc wants to get some vitals and he's calling the kitchen. He said we could go out back." She explained, leaning against the bed as he wrapped his legs around her. She tried to fix his hair.
"It's hopeless." He kidded.
"I think it's cute." She smiled as she kissed his forehead. "Are you feeling better?" She asked.
"Yeah. I'm okay. Good thing I don't remember most of this morning, huh?" He said, pulling her into a hug. He placed his head against her chest, just needing the physical contact.
"You never did lie well, John. I know you remember this morning." She scolded just as Dr. Bowers entered.
"How are you feeling, John?" He asked. The couple pulled away but John kept a hold of Abby's hand.
"I'm fine." John answered quickly. Dr. Bowers looked at him with a frown. John smiled. "I'm okay, really. I feel a bit foggy and hungry." He admitted as the doc took his blood pressure.
"Very good. Back to normal." Dr. Bowers said as he took John's pulse. "You had all of us worried for a while. How much do you remember?"
"Very little." He answered but Abby nudged his hip. "Sorry. Uh, I usually remember pretty much everything after a flashback. It's fragmented but I do remember most of it." He finally admitted truthfully.
"Good." Dr. Bowers smiled at Abby. If nothing else, if this woman could get him to tell the truth, then that alone was worth it. "Why don't the two of you head out to the deck and I'll have the kitchen bring you something out there. Dijana is still meeting with your therapists and Dr. Kovac and I'll let them know where you are." He said, giving John the green light.
"John, I need to make a quick phone call." Abby remembered. "Barbara is at home waiting to hear if you're okay."
"Barbara who?" John asked.
"Your sister, silly?" She teased.
John looked surprised. "Barbara is waiting?" He asked.
"She's been staying with me at our apartment. She really cares about you, John." Abby said as Dr. Bowers pointed to the phone. Abby began dialing.
John just shook his head. He knew his sister cared about him but enough to stay with Abby for a week? Either business was slow or Abby had as hard of a week as he did.
"Barbara? Hey, it's Abby. No, everything is fine. Yeah, he's fine. I'll tell you later. What? Oh, I don't know. Hang on." She said into the phone. "John, Barbara wants to talk to you." She held out the phone and nodded at him to take it. John took it with a slight hesitation.
"Hey, sis. No... I'm okay... at least I am now. Yes." He said, blushing. "I know she does. No, really, I'm doing better. I've still got a way to go but I'm trying. Okay, I love you too. I will." He handed the phone back to Abby.
"Okay, I'll see you when I get home. Yes, okay, bye." Abby hung up the phone.
"Your sister has been a real help." Abby said, taking John's hand.
"Barbara's cool." He said, leading her to a large patio out the back of the building.
John smiled at a few staff members on a coffee break. He led Abby to the far end of the patio where he pulled out a chair at one of the small tables for her to sit. He joined her and reached into his pocket for a pack of cigarettes. He laughed slightly noticing that they were rather crushed as he searched for one that wasn't broken. He found a couple and offered her one.
"Haven't given up this vice yet, huh?" She snickered, accepting one as he lit hers and his own, taking a deep drag.
"Helps, because I really want the other." He smiled, looking at her face. There was a slight breeze and her hair blew around, wisps brushing in front of her face. He leaned in and gave her a long, safe kiss. "I love you, Abby." He smiled, pressing his forehead against hers, his fingers intertwined with hers.
"Hey, John." Geneen smiled as she set a tray down in front of them. "Gonna introduce me to your friend?
"Uh, yeah, Geneen this is my fiancé, Abby. Abby this is Geneen." John smiled proudly as he held Abby's hand.
"Oh my that's a beautiful ring. May I." She reached for Abby's hand. Abby held it up for her to see. "Wow, John, I didn't realize you were such a big spender." She smiled causing John to blush.
"Its a family heirloom passed down from my great-grandmother." John confirmed modestly.
"Enjoy your lunch, John." Geneen winked before leaving the couple alone.
"Oh, she looks friendly." Abby whispered, making John chuckle.
"We've butted heads once or twice but she means well. I think I've given them all a workout." John uncovered the tray to find lunch for two.
To be continued.....
Copyright Footer', 'This site is not affiliated in any way with "ER", its writers or production company, or NBC, and makes no profit from the show. The ERROS skin is by Brihana. The script is eFiction version 3.4.2© Tammy Keefer, http://efiction.org\r\n