Tuesday Day 4
Barbara woke early to find Abby rummaging through her bedroom closet. She had pulled box after box out of the closet and was tossing things around left and right.
"Abby, did you loose something, Hon?" Barbara asked looking around at the mess that Abby had created.
Abby sat down in the midst of everything and buried her head in her hands. She was not going to cry, not again.
"John has this fascination for collecting knifes. I thought it was just a harmless hobby or something, until I found out that he is suicidal. I know he has them here somewhere. So far all these boxes of stuff are mine."
"Did you check his dresser?" Barbara suggested.
"Yeah, besides I've been doing his laundry recently and I think I'd know if they were in there by now."
Barbara stooped over and checked under the bed seeing nothing but a few dust bunnies.
"I've already looked there, nothing," Abby commented.
Barbara stood looking around the room trying to think of where her brother would hide something like that. Abby stood and started picking up the mess and placing the boxes back into the closet. With the door wide open Barbara suddenly noticed that with Abby's height she would not be able to see far enough back onto the top shelf to see if anything was there. But with John's height and long arms he could easily reach back that far.
"Abby come here." Barbara directed. She locked her fingers together and leaned down to give Abby a boost up. "Check up there." Barbara stood just inside the door. The closest corner was not visible from a distance. At a glance the shelf looked empty.
Abby looked at her for a moment and decided it was worth a look. Sure enough when she was lifted high enough she could see a boot box in the far corner.
"A bit higher," she said. The box was still just out of reach as Barbara managed to push her up some more. After bringing it down they peered inside to see several knifes and even a small dagger. Along with a few other miscellaneous trinkets, which included a few photos of girls, some letters and cards, a rather small pink lacy bra and a pair of red plastic handcuffs.
"Man, I don't even think I want to know." Barbara smiled holding up the bra and handcuffs.
One of the envelopes in particular caught Abby's eyes. She read that it was addressed to Lucy Knight, C/O County General. She could not contain her curiosity as she pulled out the sheet of paper to find Lucy's letter informing her that she had matched at County in Psyche.
"Oh my God, this must have been very hard on John. I wonder why he has never mentioned this?" Abby noticed the postmark. It had arrived shortly after Lucy's death. "He must had kept this to himself all this time," Abby sighed.
Barbara shrugged. She knew her brother kept things inside. He always had. She knew it would end up eating him alive one day. She just didn't expect him to commit himself over it.
"What are you going to do with them?" Barbara asked.
"I think I'll take them to the hospital," Abby shrugged. "That's where he got them from, I guess." Abby took all the knives, leaving the rest of the items in the box and returned it to the shelf.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kerry finished her shift and anxiously met Veronica at a bar several miles from the hospital. She needed to find out how the meeting went with Dr. Sajak. Even though Veronica had said she was on their side, Kerry couldn't help but to still worry.
"Sorry I'm so late." Kerry said, sliding into the booth across from Veronica. "I'll have a Margarita." Kerry ordered from the waitress. "So, tell me what happened?" She asked.
"Honey, it's fine. I did it. I gave her the transcripts of the sessions here in Chicago and the videotape in New York." Veronica smiled.
"Oh, God, does she know I brought the Ativan?" Kerry asked; wanting to know how deep her own name was in this whole mess.
"Kerry, I was totally up front with her. She knows everything. I'm usually a pretty good judge of people and I like her." Veronica said. Kerry relaxed slightly. The waitress brought her drink.
"Tell, me. How is he?" Kerry asked, remembering how scared she was seeing him curled up on her floor, telling her he could do more later, make her happy later and how he'd come on to her that night. When John lived with her he had always acted completely appropriate, and this had caught her so totally off guard.
"I'll find out tonight. She wants Brandon and me to come to the center and hold a session with John with their staff. I guess he's being a bit stubborn for them." They both chuckled softly. On a more serious note, Veronica took Kerry's hand. "She said in three days, they've had to give him Haldol twice. Kerry, I took responsibility for the Ativan but if they had to use Haldol, Honey, you know as well as I do that he must be pretty bad. Abby's going crazy. I was honest about our relationship, with both Brandon and me engaging in a sexual relationship with him long before I began treating him, everything. Kerry, the only way they'll find out you were involved is if someone decided to investigate the matter." Veronica explained.
"I told Robert." Kerry admitted, proud of herself for not letting someone take the fall for her again. She'd made that mistake before and she wasn't about to let it happen again. No, this mistake she wanted to take full responsibility for. "Robert Romano, our Chief of Staff intercepted his H&P as well as the notes from his second night there where they had to sedate him. My God, Veronica, how could we have let this happen to John? How could we have not seen he was so hurt?" Kerry said hopelessly.
"John wanted us to believe he was okay and for a while, Kerry, I think he believed it also." Veronica said sadly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Yes... Yes... I see. Well thank you very much Mr. Klein." Millicent sat in a large leather chair behind her desk talking on the phone. Seeing Barbara and Abby standing outside the opened door, she motioned them to come in.
"Yes, I do understand. Good day and I will. And thank you again." Millicent finished her conversation and returned the phone to its cradle.
Millicent stood and came around the front side of the desk and greeted Barbara with a warm hug. Turning to Abby, she took her hand and patted it gently.
"Have a seat ladies," Millicent commanded. "Abby, I have just been on the phone to a very reputable private investigator. It seems that John is going out of his way to not leave any sort of trail that would lead to his whereabouts." Millicent began as she took a seat next to the girls on the sofa.
Abby shifted uneasily as did Barbara.
"Gamma, I don't believe that a private investigator is necessary." Barbara piped up.
"Why not? Is there something that you two have to tell me?" She questioned knowing that Barbara had been staying with Abby for the past few days.
"Abby, are you aware that a rather large sum of money was deposited into your personal checking account on the morning that John disappeared?" Millicent asked.
"Yes, ma'am. I have never checked to see how much but Luka told me that John put it there to be used to pay the bills on the apartment and to take care of a few things for him." Abby admitted.
"Twenty thousand dollars is certainly not pocket change. Rest assured that if I find out that John did not personally authorize this transaction, you will be answering to me." Millicent made herself clear.
"Gamma, I was there when Luka told Abby of the money and John also gave her access to his credit card. If she was doing this for the money, she's had plenty of time to take it and be out of the country by now." Barbara defended Abby.
"Luka? Who is this Luka?" Millicent asked.
"Gamma, please call off the private investigator. There is a very good reason that John does not want to be found and that is what we have come here to tell you." Barbara claimed.
"Have you heard from him?"
"No," they both said in unison.
"Gamma, John is going through a rather difficult time and he needs some time to figured a few things out. Luka is a friend of John and Abby's and a doctor at County. He is someone that John has entrusted to help him in seeking some professional help. Luka has assured us that he is in a good place and is being well taken care of. He's just not ready to have any outside contact just yet. Luka is certain that as John begins to get better, he will contact us. For now Gamma, we have to let him do this in his own time." Barbara explained.
"I would like to meet this Luka," Millicent requested. "Dinner tomorrow night. Let me know what time is convenient and you two can bring him along. I'm sure Eleanor will also be interested in meeting with him and I should call Jack. It's about time he knows what's going on with his son."
"Gamma, don't make a fuss over this." Barbara knew how her grandmother could get.
"Fine." Millicent returned to her desk. "Tomorrow night then. And Barbara Carter, I expect some answers." She said sternly.
"Yes, Gamma."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Robert Romano pulled his sportscar up to the doctor's only parking and looked around. "Figures he'd pick this place. Looks like a mansion instead of a psycho ward." He said to himself.
"Good afternoon. May I help you?" A beautiful woman asked but Robert only saw her raven hair and her breasts. He smiled.
"Yes, I'm here to see Dr. Sajak." He said smoothly.
"Do you have an appointment?" She asked, checking the appointment book. She knew very well that whoever this guy was, he did not have an appointment.
"Just tell her it's about a patient of hers." He said, seeing the afternoon slots in the appointment book crossed out.
"And who should I say is calling?" The woman asked.
"Dr. Romano. Dr. Robert Romano from Co . . well, just tell her Romano." He caught himself. It seems that everyone had gone to great lengths to keep John's identity a secret and he wasn't about to blow it for him. The woman picked up the phone.
As she spoke on the phone, Robert tried to get a look inside this place. From the front lobby, he could see very little over the privacy walls that were strewn around the place. It was quiet, much unlike the psych unit at County. This place seemed warm, even inviting.
"I'm sorry, Dr. Romano, but Dr. Sajak isn't taking any more appointments today. " She said calmly.
"Well, you just pick that phone back up and tell her this is regarding John Williams, a patient of hers." He stated clearly. He was not going to be brushed off that easily.
"I'm sorry, sir, but Dr. Sajak only takes appointments and I don't show you in my book so you'll have to leave and call back to set an appointment." She said. She knew that Dr. Sajak had gone home for the afternoon and planned on being back later but that she clearly stated she had no outstanding appointments.
"Listen, Miss.... whatever your name is." Robert leered over her. "Pick up that phone and call her back. I have not driven for the last hour for nothing! Get her on that phone or I'll just have to go back to her office without your escort." Robert began walking to the doorway that led back to the living area.
"Sir, I can't have you doing that. If you refuse to leave, then I will have no other choice but to call security." She pressed the hidden button under her desk as she stood.
"You can call the Royal Army for all I care. I need to speak to Dr. Sajak and I need to do that now!" He demanded.
"Now, Dr. Romano, I'm sure that you don't want me to have to have security remove you from the property, now do you? We can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way." She continued talking, trying to get him to get away from the door.
"Look here, I am a very important man in Chicago and when I drive all the way here, I expect to be seen." Robert demanded. At about that moment, a huge, muscle bulking man appears in the doorway.
"Got a problem, Nancy?" He asked, looking down on Robert, arms crossed over his chest.
"This Dr. Romano insists on seeing Dr. Sajak without an appointment." She complained.
"Dr. Sajak doesn't see anyone without an appointment." The huge man explained.
"Don't give me your bull. Look, I'm very busy also so if you don't mind, I'd like to speak with Dr. Sajak immediately." The large man took one step towards Robert.
"I believe the lady explained Dr. Sajak doesn't see anyone without an appointment." The man reached out and gently took a hold of Robert's arm. Robert twisted out of his hold easily.
"Get Sajak on the phone now! I want to speak to her myself!" Robert raged. How dare they treat him this way? Didn't they know who he was?
"I'm afraid you're going to have to leave now, doctor." The security guy said clearly.
"What the hell kind of place are you running here? I need to speak to Sajak about a patient you have locked up in this place!" Robert again felt his arm in the grasp of the much larger man. "Let go of me! I'll have you charged with assault!"
"You are hereby being ordered to leave these premises immediately, sir." The security led Robert to the door, Robert fighting all the way.
"Get your ape hands off of me! You people have no idea who you're throwing out here! You have no idea!" Robert yelled.
Nick watched out his window, his mind wondering to the commotion going on out front.
"Did you hear me, doc?" The man asked. Nick turned his attentions back to his session.
"Of course I did, Tony. Go ahead." He smiled. In his head, he wondered whom they were throwing out now. At least once a month, someone got removed from the premises by force but they usually didn't dress as well or drive as nice of a car as this guy did. They also didn't look as angry as this guy had.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
John sat at the dining table staring at his food. He wasn't hungry and had been battling his nervous stomach since he'd watched the videotapes of his sessions.
He knew that Veronica had told him that she'd been able to put him under during each session but he had no idea what he'd spoken about. He just remembered the feelings afterwards, the uneasy feelings he had in his mind and the flashes.
Oh, it was the flashes of memory that had been the worse part. Instead of remembering scenes or events, his mind would flash an image of a face or he'd get this fear building up inside and he had no idea where it had come from. It had happened on and off over the years but it seemed as if the stabbing had changed everything he once was.
When he used the drugs, lying in his bed, knowing he was totally stoned was when he noticed the memories invading his head. It was then when he found there was no getting away, no escape except to take more medication, shoot a bit more into his wrist or take another pill and they'd eventually fade into nothingness. He was smart enough to realize what he was doing to himself but he just didn't care anymore. He wanted the pain to go away and he didn't care if he lost himself while he was at it.
Then he'd think about his responsibilities, his commitments, and his obligations. Then instead of wanting to die, he needed the drugs to function, to do what he was supposed to do. He proved them all wrong. He was supposed to be out on medical leave for months but he'd shown them. He made it back to work and proved himself.
John was tired of proving himself. When did it become enough, he thought. When did he reach a point when he didn't feel like he needed someone's approval? His father, Anspaugh, Benton, oh, God, there was no pleasing Benton. That day when Benton had accidentally knocked John to the ground, Benton had been so right. Why did John feel as if he needed this man's approval? God, when would John Carter be able to stand on his own, to grow up and finally be satisfied with who he was or what he'd accomplished?
John shoved the tray to the other side of the table and he laid his head down. He couldn't deal with this day anymore. Before Dr. Sajak had left, she had called Veronica and John knew they'd be there soon. Someone else would know where he was, someone else to judge him.
John got up from the table and walked to the door.
"John? Aren't you going to eat?" Geneen asked. She'd been watching John throughout dinner and could tell he wasn't doing well.
"No, I just need to go lie down for a while, okay?" He asked.
Geneen shook her head. "You know the rules. You're not supposed to be in your rooms during the day, John. You need to try to get on some kind of schedule." She said.
"Look, Geneen, I'm sick, I've had a hell of a day and I've got a headache. Please, let me go back to my room." John almost begged getting up from his seat he began to head for the door.
"I'm sorry, John but you can't. Why don't you try to eat something?" She led him back to the table where his tray sat. "And I bet you'll be feel better in no time." She tried to encourage.
Suddenly, John slid his tray with such force into the wall, sending food flying. "God dammit, I said NO!" He yelled. "Now, all I want is to go back to my fucking room and lie down! Is that too much to ask?" John yelled.
Immediately, he was flanked by Mike, who had just come on duty for the evening and a huge security guard. They both took a hold of his arms, one on either side.
"Oh, God, no, please, I'm sorry, Mike, I'm sorry, please, I'll be good, I promise. Oh, God, don't give me that stuff again, please?" John began begging as they removed him from the room and headed towards the medical center.
"Jake, stop a minute." Mike said. John was almost boneless under their hands. He collapsed to the ground when they stopped.
"Look, I've seen how John gets. Why don't we just take him up to his room and let me talk to him, okay? I think I can calm him down." Mike suggested.
"I don't know. That ain't the proper procedure, Mike." Jake said, watching John curl up.
"Come on, man. This guy is a doctor, a trauma physician, man. Trust me, I can get him calmed down. Trust me, okay? Just help me get him to his room, okay?" Mike pleaded. Jake looked at John and then to Mike.
"A trauma doc, huh? If anyone asks, it was your idea, man." He bent down and lifted John in one scoop.
Jake laid John's limp body on the bed as Mike went into the bathroom and retrieved a warm wet washcloth.
"John, can you hear me. It's Mike." Mike spoke calmly as he wiped the sweat from John's face. He folded the cloth and laid it on John's forehead.
"Mike?" John questioned as he brought his hand up to the cloth.
"Yeah, I'm here. Can you tell me what happened?" He asked.
Dr. Hansen ran into the room after being notified by Geneen. Seeing that Mike seemed to have things under control he stood back and listened to John interact with Mike.
"I just wanted to lie down. I don't feel good and that bitch wouldn't let me leave." John rubbed his temples, the anger clearly present in his tone of voice.
"Do you have a headache, John?" Mike asked as he looked toward Dr. Hansen to make sure he was listening.
Dr. Hansen checked over the patients medications chart near the door and saw the standing order for Tylenol. He took notice of the bold type that indicated he was a recovering drug addict and currently on Paxil as of this morning. He called the nurse on duty and asked her to bring John some Tylenol.
"John who wouldn't let you leave? Where did you want to go?" Mike asked a slight touch of anger in his voice. 'Some of these attendants just carried things a bit too far in his opinion,' he thought to himself.
"Geneen, she said I couldn't go to my room. I told her I needed to lie down. Fucking women, they just think they can boss you around and they never give a damn about you any ways. Nicole was always telling me what I could and couldn't do and she never cared. She just wanted everything her own way. Mrs. Thomas said my homework was never good enough, she just said that to get her own way, too." John rambled on as he curled up onto his side.
"Here, I'll take that." Dr. Hansen smiled at the young nurse, taking the small cup containing the ordered Tylenol and the bottled water from her. "I would like to see if he'll let you take his vitals." He spoke with the nurse asking her to stand by while he talked to John.
Dr. Hansen approached cautiously. After reading his chart, he realized that John was the patient that he was to see later tonight in a group session with other staff members and some outside doctors. He needed to assess John's stability to determine if he was able to attend the session.
"John, my name it Dr. Walter Hansen. Can I get you to sit up so you can take this?" Dr. Hansen handed the pill cup to John and opened the bottle of water for him. "Its just Tylenol for your headache." He added seeing John's hesitation.
John raised himself up to a sitting position. He took the pills and tossed them down followed with the water that Dr. Hansen handed him.
"You mind if I sit here for a minute?" He indicated the foot of the bed.
John nodded as he gulped down some more water.
"Would it be all right if Janice here took some vitals for me?" He asked as he gestured to Janice to come in closer.
"Yeah sure," John said in a weak voice. He held out his arm to the young nurse as she made quick work of taking his vitals. Dr. Hansen handed her John's chart so she could document her findings.
Satisfied that everything looked good and John seemed to be fine, Dr. Hansen excused himself to leave.
"I'll be right back," Mike promised John as he followed Dr. Hansen out into the hall.
"Walter, you really need to have a talk with Geneen." Mike bit back his anger.
"Yes, Mike I'll take care of it, thank you." Dr. Hansen watched as Mike went back into John's room.
Dr. Hansen stopped in the dinning room. "Geneen, would you come with me?" He demanded sternly, leading her to his office. "Have a seat," he gestured toward the couch. "I understand that you haven't been here for very long so I'm only going to give you a warning. It is your job to monitor the patient's behavior, not to provoke them to anger." Dr. Hansen reprimanded. He had no tolerance for misconduct when it came to patient care.
"I was under the impression that this place had rules that the patients were expected to follow." Geneen voiced cockily.
"Yes, we do have rules that are meant to be followed but it is not your job to enforce them. If you have a problem with a patient, you are to inform security or one of the doctors on duty, you do not take matters into your own hands. Is that understood?"
"I did call security." Geneen defended her actions.
"Geneen, did or did not, Mr. Williams tell you that he needed to lie down, that he didn't feel well?"
"Yes, but I just told him that he wasn't allowed in his room during the day and that if he sat down and ate, he would probably feel better. That's when he became angry, threw his plate and I called security and then I called you." Geneen continued to explain things from her point of view.
"You had no business trying to force John to stay. This entire incident could have been avoided if you would have just let him go to his room and notified me, period. Now if you have a problem with the way things are ran around here I suggest you find a different job."
Satisfied that Geneen understood her position, Dr. Hansen excused her.
Dr. Hansen sat back in his big leather chair and opened John's chart. He needed to review John's history to prepare for the session with John, this evening. He had only had a few minutes earlier in the day, to sit down with Dijana to discuss the patient in question and needed to familiarize himself further. It was a rare occasion that outside doctors were ever allowed to participate in sessions but Dijana assured him that in John's case, she felt that it was necessary.
Copyright Footer', 'This site is not affiliated in any way with "ER", its writers or production company, or NBC, and makes no profit from the show. The ERROS skin is by Brihana. The script is eFiction version 3.4.2© Tammy Keefer, http://efiction.org\r\n