Luka and Kerry came out of Robert's office silently. They had spent over an hour reading and rereading John's medical and psychological assessment and findings. It wasn't until they stepped into an empty elevator before Luka could hold it in no more.
"You gave him Ativan?" He said incredulous.
"Luka, you didn't see him." Kerry defended.
"That's not the point, Kerry." Luka was trying hard to stay calm but the more he read, the sicker he became. He had no idea that John had such a difficult history. He knew John was young, sometimes cocky, occasionally conceited, a good doctor but lacking self-esteem. John also had youthfulness, focus, and dedication.
Luka and John had rarely gotten along. Of course, they worked together but John never seemed to give Luka much credit, or even much respect. John practiced medicine from the heart where Luka practiced by the book. John occasionally broke the rules where Luka tried his best to follow them. Sure, Luka had started as a temp but he did know what he was doing, having several more years experience but John never seemed to give Luka another thought.
When John treated a girl with a dislocated shoulder, he listened to the patient. She was a recovering addict and begged not to have drugs. John was attempting to do a reduction without pain management, causing excruciating pain for the patient.
John had at one time dislocated his own shoulder and had to have Lucy literally step on him to fix it. He knew it was painful but possible.
Luka heard the screaming and insisted that John medicate her. Luka threw his authority in John's face and John refused, handing the patient over and walking out, leaving Luka to be the responsible doctor, giving the drugs against the patient's wishes.
And there was the night of Valentine's Day, 2000. Luka was the attending on duty, the one in charge of the emergency room and it's staff the night John and Lucy were stabbed. Sobriki had managed to get out of his room, get into the staff lounge, get a knife, and return to his room, attacking two of the staff while the rest of the faculty danced and ate blue cake with the music blaring. Luka had been responsible for all that night and he had failed to keep them safe. One person had lost their life that night.
Then, there was Abby. Luka was still not completely a member of the family yet but John instantly became threatened. Luka could see it. John clearly had a something for Abby, even before he went away to Atlanta. When he returned, Abby and John again drifted to one another, becoming closer with each day. Yes, Luka was jealous. He was jealous when he listened to Abby go on and on about John, take his calls at all hours and spend so much time with him. John needed Abby and she needed him in a way that Luka did not. Luka loved Abby but her heart was with John.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I have seen John when he has had these episodes. He had one once several years ago when he rented my basement, Luka and you have never seen anything like it." Kerry said.
"I think I have." Luka stated quietly. Kerry realized that out of anyone, it was Luka who would understand.
"I'm sorry, Luka. It's just... he's not John. John was here before I came to county, and we've all watched him become a man. When he has these episodes he's totally uncontrollable. There is no talking to him." Kerry said, knowing she had made a very large mistake, not only her but also Veronica.
"He's obviously been in a depression." Luka shook his head. "You gave him a benzo. Twice. That was just stupid, Kerry. I'm sorry but even Malucci would have known better." He really didn't know why he suddenly cared so much for John's welfare, but it seemed that someone needed to.
"I was trying to help him. Brandon said he was catatonic and he had punched a mirror with his bare hand, Luka. He was scared and confused. I thought it was the best thing at the time."
"Kerry, is John having a sexual relationship with your college friend and her husband?" Luka asked.
"John is an adult. He can do what he wants." She said. Luka shook his head.
"He is having a sexual relationship with not only his therapist but also her husband, starts sleeping with Abby, begins showing signs of depression and you administer Ativan? Kerry, how could you get me involved in this?" Luka asked.
"Luka, I'm sorry. All I know is Brandon called me the night John lost it. I went over to his apartment, stitched up his hand and gave Veronica the Ativan to give him later."
Luka laughed, pressing stop on the elevator. "You brought him Ativan, without even checking him out yourself and then left? Not even checking his mental state? Not even checking to see how he reacted to it?"
"Veronica and Brandon are both doctors and Abby was there. It wasn't like I left him without supervision. Besides I checked on him the next morning, after the night when Abby broke down and told Susan and I what was happening. He had a few side effects but he seemed all right."
"Susan knows also? My God, Kerry! We're talking about Carter. Even I can see how much everyone's opinion of him affects him! How the hell is he supposed to come back here if everyone is talking about him and everyone is talking about him having PTSD? I know Carter enough to see he is very private. What do you think everyone is going to do when he comes back? The first time he yells or gets angry, or chooses not to have a smile on his face, everyone will be watching him, making sure he's not having another flashback!"
"Luka, we'll have to make sure they don't do that." She said, thinking of what they could do to make sure that didn't happen.
"I still can't believe that you gave him depressants without his consent. Don't you know anything about post trauma disorders? Why wasn't he seeing someone here at the hospital? Why wasn't he seeing someone who specialized in post traumatic recovery?" Luka was so angry. He'd seen too many people with untreated PTSD who never got better.
"John refused. We tried, Luka. Mark even tried."
"And then you go and make him Chief Resident? Now with Mark gone, you add even more to his responsibilities? You knew he was still hurting, Kerry."
"Luka, John seemed fine. He was handling everything fine. He's done a great job with his responsibilities and has never once let this hospital down."
"Kerry, when did this become about the hospital? Do you even care what happens to the people? Hell, Kerry, he was stabbed at this hospital, got his drugs at this hospital and this hospital never once made sure he was all right. You made him go to rehab and did you ever check to see how he was doing? Did you ever even call him or care for more than your precious hospital, Kerry?"
"I have done what I have had to do for this hospital and for John, Luka. Carter IS very private. We asked him how he was. We checked with him and he said he was fine. We had to take his word for it." She said.
"Well," Luka said after a pause. "He lied." Luka said sadly, restarting the elevator.
Kerry knew she needed to tell Luka everything. She didn't mean to get him in any sort of danger but she had.
"I arranged the whole auction thing." She admitted.
"What?" Luka asked, shocked as the elevator doors opened. He followed Kerry into the lounge, thankful; that no one was in there.
Kerry's hands were shaking as she poured a cup of coffee. "I thought John needed a friend." She shrugged. "I saw him slipping away into another depression. While he was in Atlanta, he'd met Brandon, Veronica's husband. They were roommates for three months and I guess they became pretty close."
"Brandon is an addict also?" Luka exclaimed.
"Yes." Kerry shook her head in confirmation. "The auction and the week he spent with them helped. He returned more positive than I'd seen him in a very long time, feeling confident and sure of himself." She took a deep breath. "A few weeks ago, John was showing the same signs of depression. Because he already knew them, I called Brandon and Veronica and asked them to check up on him. I was surprised to learn that John had stopped all contact with them and this worried all of us. It worked before. John is very sexual in nature and I thought it would help."
"He's sexual in nature? Damn right, he is. He's been doing it since he was eleven years old!" Luka yelled. "You arranging it was like forcing him into it, Kerry. You are his boss. Does he know you knew Veronica from college?"
"Yes, but he didn't at the time of the auction." She said.
"But he knew it this time, huh? Kerry, he has taken on more and more and you expect him to not be a little afraid of you and losing his job? How much more do you think you can push onto him?"
"Luka, he came to me that night. He came to my house in the middle of the night, got drunk and I found him on the floor, totally out of it." Kerry explained.
Luka stared at her. "Did he come to your house drunk?"
"No, he began drinking while he was there." Kerry didn't think it was a good idea to tell Luka she had also had several drinks before John's arrival.
"You gave him alcohol? Dammit, Kerry! I know I said I'd help you but there is no way I will defend your actions or those of this Dr. Montgomery." Luka opened his locker with a slam.
"Luka, you made a promise." Kerry began to panic. She had to convince him to see why she did what she did; she needed Luka on her side. "I gave you an opportunity to stay uninvolved. I told you that what you were getting involved with needed to remain totally confidential. I said no one must know what you will know. I asked you if I could trust you to help me even if it goes against everything you believe in and your oath as a doctor. Luka, you gave me your word."
"Kerry, I remember our conversation that morning also but I had no idea. I believe you did not know, either."
Kerry sat down and cradled her forehead in her hands. "I didn't, Luka. I had no idea it was this bad. I know Veronica didn't know it was this bad. My God, Luka, what are we going to do?"
Luka joined her at the table and seeing the fear in her eyes, he reached out and took her tiny hands into his own. "We do what Robert said. We keep it as quiet as possible. Now that Romano is involved, I believe that he will now take control." He sat quietly, stroking Kerry's hand with his thumb. "I'm worried about him, too, Kerry."
"What gets me are the knives. What did the assessment say? 'He has been found with knives on his person several times?'"
"Kerry, we need to make sure he understands that we are there for him. He is in a good place now and he can learn how to deal with all of these things and live a good life."
"He's a good doctor, Luka. John needs us and this place to feel whole." Kerry said, pulling her hands back from Luka. "We need to make sure he knows we want him back."
"He will. Maybe you should speak to Romano about that." He said, sitting back. At that moment, Abby opened the door.
"Uh, guys? We've got a multiple trauma coming in. ETA, two minutes." She was looking strangely at them. "Everything okay?"
"Everything's fine," Kerry said getting up. "Come on, Luka, we have a job to do."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Robert sat looking at the stack of papers in front of him. He'd scanned them into his computer, loaded them onto disk, and slipped the disk into his pocket. It was now his job to shred the evidence. He made several notes for his own use and decided to shred them on his way out so that he could also remove the shreds from the property.
His own memories of his childhood were fresh in his mind, remembering the pain and the fear he'd grown so accustom to hiding. Robert was a man who understood what John had been through and he was sure as hell going to make sure John got the help he needed. He picked up his phone.
"Rock Creek Center. How can I help you?" A lovely voice answered.
"Yes, I need to speak to a Dr. Dijana Sajak." He said politely.
"May I tell her who is calling?"
"Tell her it's Dr. Robert Romano regarding a patient she has." He said. If John's name was changed on all this paperwork, then he sure wasn't going to tell the receptionist where he worked. He'd leave that for Dr. Sajak.
"Hold please."
Robert pulled the files in front of him as he tapped his pen on the desk. After what seemed like ions, finally a voice was heard on the other end.
"This is Dr. Sajak, may I help you?" She asked.
"Yes, Doctor. I believe you have a patient by the name of Dr. John C. Williams?" He said.
"I'm sorry, Dr. Romano, is it? I am not at liberty to say whether or not I have a patient by that name." She stated, making Robert laugh.
"Look, Dr. Sajak. I am looking at a fax of his H & P at this very moment. It seems to have been faxed to my office." He said. "Should I read to you a few choice entries that prove he's there or can we just cut to the chase?" He offered.
Dr. Sajak was silent for a few moments. "Dr. Romano, I'm sure you understand that I cannot release any information about any of our patients, either present, past, or assumed, now don't you?" She asked sarcastically. She made herself a quick note to call Dr. Weaver immediately and find out how in the hell anyone got their hands on that documentation. She had been assured it was completely secure.
"I have just had a meeting with two of my staff members, Dr. Weaver and Dr. Kovac and become aware of Dr. Williams' self admission. I have also read about the long night many of your staff had last night. How is he now?" He asked, showing slight compassion in his voice.
"Tell me, Dr. Romano, what exactly is your position at the hospital?" She asked.
"I am the Chief of Staff and Chief of Surgery at the hospital where Dr. Williams works and essentially, the supervisor of the two doctors that have been appointed his personal physicians." He stated. "If my assumptions are correct, they have found themselves in quite over their heads with Dr. Williams' problems and I am trying to make sure events such as this revealing fax not end up in the hands of any one, do you understand, Dr. Sajak? I am trying to help Dr. Williams."
"Are you, Dr. Romano? Then you understand that if a patient tells me clearly that he only wants certain people to receive information about his progress, then you also understand that I need to protect his confidentiality to the highest degree, don't you?"
"Listen, Dr. Sajak, your, John C. Williams is from a very wealthy family and one that you do not want to even begin to deal with. If they were to get word that their precious only son and heir to the family empire is being harbored at your facility, I can assure you that you will be surrounded with security and corporate lawyers watching your every step. They will stop at no ends to make sure this whole self-commitment stay totally secret from the press."
"The press? I believe that the press would be more interested in knowing that this doctor might be a danger to patients, along with himself and you have appointed him Chief Resident while not getting him any sort of counseling after being attacked while at work?" Dr. Sajak snapped at him.
"I am not their babysitter, Dr. Sajak." Robert defended.
"No, but you are responsible for making sure that your staff is competent, are you not?"
"John is a damn good doctor, Dr. Sajak!" Robert yelled.
"Oh, I'm sure he is, Dr. Romano. Right now, he is in no condition to be bullied into signing consent for anything. Tell me, Dr. Romano, if I did have a patient that went by that name, what do you think he'd say if I asked him if you could have access to his files." She asked.
"Listen, I do not need to be responsible for another psychotic episode such as the one you had last night." Robert snorted. "Look, John is terrified of me. He'd hang himself in his room if he knew I was requesting his records and that is not what I'm doing. I am requesting that you keep all records at the center and not to send them to County or anywhere else for that matter. It's too easy for someone to get a hold of this information and this hospital has not invested almost ten years into his education to lose him now. I, by no means, want to risk exposing our Dr. Williams to anyone."
"It's nice to hear you supporting your staff so adamantly. You must be wonderful to work for, Dr. Romano." She said. Robert laughed.
"Well, I'm not sure they would necessarily agree with you but John is different. Ever since he was stabbed..." Robert began but found himself showing emotion.
"That must have been very hard." Dr. Sajak said quietly. "Were you his surgeon?"
"No, I worked on Miss Knight, the other doctor stabbed that night. Look, I know Dr. Weaver means well but I need to know for myself, is he all right?" Robert asked tenderly. Dr. Sajak was very quiet.
"No, he's not." She finally said. They were both silent for a few moments.
"All right, Dr. Sajak. I am coming up there and I will get him to give you permission to allow me to see him. I will be up there this afternoon." Robert stated.
"Like hell you will! Look, Dr. Romano, I am currently his Primary Physician and I am taking care of him and I will not have his recovery jeopardized in any way. You will stay the hell away from my facility and if you believe you are above the rules I have established, I will get a restraining order and have you removed from the premises. Do YOU understand that, Dr. Romano? I am calling the shots now." Dr. Sajak demanded, instantly hushing Robert.
"I will be in contact with you, Dr. Sajak. You can be sure of that." Robert hung up the phone. He knew his hands were tied. His ass was on the line, as well as his Chief of the ER and one of his attending. And John Carter was not all right.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Dr. Weaver, phone." Randi held out the phone. Kerry was requesting a patient's lab in the computer and she took the phone without a second thought.
"Dr. Weaver here. Can I help you?" She said, only half listening.
"Dr. Weaver, this is Dr. Sajak. You'll never believe who I just had a very lengthy conversation with." She said. Kerry's stomach dropped.
"Oh, God." Kerry mumbled, getting Luka's attention.
"What's wrong?" He whispered.
"Dr. Weaver, I don't know what kind of physician you are but I do know that if John should ever find out those reports ended up in that man's hands, I won't be able to reach him at all. You assured me that the fax number you gave me was secure." Dr. Sajak sounded so angry.
"Dr. Sajak, I can assure you that was a shock to both Dr. Kovac and me but Robert is supportive. He is on the patient's side." Kerry spoke as cryptic as possible, with Randi only a few feet away and Abby on the other side of the counter.
"I will not risk his recovery again, Dr. Weaver. I am hereby ordering all of his records sealed. You will no longer receive a copy of any of his paperwork. I will give you verbal updates over the phone and you may come by my office if you need to know anymore than that. I will not risk exposing his identity."
"I understand. Thank you." Kerry said sounding defeated.
Abby eyed both Kerry and Luka suspiciously as did Randi. Both the woman could tell there was something going on and they were both pretty sure they knew whom it was about.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning couldn't come soon enough for Abby. She was not looking forward to spending her day off alone, but the nights had been worse. At least when her and John had different shifts she had had the comfort of knowing that he would be there eventually. Not knowing where he was or when or if he would ever come home was more than she could bear.
Barbara decided to hang out with Abby and keep her company on her day off. The evening had been tense with Veronica and Brandon's arrival and with Barbara finally being told some of the details about her baby brother's life, she realized that she hardly knew him anymore.
Veronica was spending much of her time going over and over her notes she had on John. She was meeting with Dr. Sajak that evening and Abby could tell she was very nervous. Barbara didn't quite understand but kept quiet. She'd learned a long time ago that in order to completely understand something, sometimes silence was best.
It was early afternoon when Abby heard a knock on the door. She and Barbara were watching a mindless movie while Brandon and Veronica talked quietly at the kitchen table. Abby paused the movie and went to get the door.
Instantly, Luka slammed the door open and looked around.
"Where is he?" He demanded, spotting Brandon at the table. Luka came barreling towards him and Brandon stood and backed away quickly.
"So, Luka, I assume you found out more today?" Brandon asked.
"I know much more than what you and your wife want me to know. Tell me, Dr. Montgomery, did either you or your wife ever think of what bringing all these memories back would do to him?" Luka asked, shocked at the medical negligence taken at John's expense.
"I told you yesterday that John has his own way of coping." Brandon assured Luka.
Luka took a hold of the front of Brandon's shirt and had him up against the wall before Brandon had time to think.
"He's been coping that way since he was eleven for God's sake. You take advantage of him when he's already in an emotional state and you and your wife use your medical licenses to fuck him?" Luka spat in his face.
"Luka!" Abby screamed, yanking back on his arm. "Let him go!" She yelled. "What John and I did with Veronica and Brandon was before any of this came up and completely consensual, and none of your business, dammit."
"What?" Luka asked, completely shocked as hr words sank in.
"We both did it together! John and Brandon go back almost two years, for Christ's sake! Just stop!" Abby screamed with rage in her eyes.
"Are you all right, Honey?" Veronica ran to her husband's side, glaring towards Luka. She held Brandon close seeing some color begin to return to his face.
"I'm fine." Brandon said calmly, trying to catch his breath. He'd actually seen his life flashing before his eyes when Luka had him slammed against the wall. "He just cares about John."
To be continued …………
Copyright Footer', 'This site is not affiliated in any way with "ER", its writers or production company, or NBC, and makes no profit from the show. The ERROS skin is by Brihana. The script is eFiction version 3.4.2© Tammy Keefer, http://efiction.org\r\n