Day 2-Sunday
John awoke to the sound of an alarm that rang through out the building. It reminded him of boarding school and the warning bells that indicated it was time to get up for class.
Pulling himself out of bed he felt as though he had been run over by a truck. He had worked a 12-hour shift, spent the evening at his grandmother's and then the night at Kerry's to ultimately end up here. After several rather draining therapy sessions he still found himself wide awake for the better part of the night and now he was beginning to feel exhausted. He managed to find his clothes and stepped into the shower, hoping that it would help him awaken. He knew that his first appointment of the day was immediately after breakfast at 8:00. He wasn't sure of anything past that as Dr. Sajak said that she would let him know during their session.
Wandering down the halls, he hoped he would find Matt or someone that would let him out to have a smoke. As he approached the back door he saw it propped open.
"Hey, morning sunshine, you're pretty bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for someone who's been up most the night." Matt waved him out onto the patio knowing full well that's were he wanted to be. He introduced him to a couple other patients who where already sitting out there.
"Yeah, I don't feel very bright-eyed, but I'm used to it, John yawned as he lit his cigarette sucking in the smoke like it was his last breath. He didn't even bother to sit down knowing that as tired as he was he'd probably just fall asleep.
Matt sat at a small table with his clipboard jotting down notes as he kept an eye on his charges.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kerry arrived at work early in the morning. The afternoon before, she had received a call from Dr. Sajak asking for medical records on John C. Williams.
After a very long conversation, Dr. Sajak had explained that she was aware of the fact that 'Williams' was an alias and that if Kerry didn't feel comfortable revealing his true identity, that she could change the name on the forms. Dr. Sajak assured her that John's identity would remain confidential.
Dr. Sajak had also explained that after John's session with Nick that John had revealed the identity of his last therapist and had told him that Kerry would be able to provide information from Dr. Montgomery, but asked that Veronica not be told anything about John's whereabouts.
Kerry checked out John's medical history and made copies of everything, putting his alias on them. 'If it ended up costing her her job, so be it,' she thought to herself. There was no way that she was going to allow his confidentiality to be violated. Kerry also had copies of his files from Atlanta in his personal records, which she also replaced the name.
She had called Veronica and explained that she needed copies of John's records faxed to her directly and waited personally for them to be sent. She wasn't about to take any chances that anyone would know any more than what was necessary about John's condition.
It didn't take long to get the needed information from Veronica and get it all faxed, along with what she had prepared to Dr. Sajak's office. Kerry wanted to make sure Dijana had it by the time she arrived at work.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Matt's shift ended at 7am. He was sitting in the computer room finishing up his night reports along with the incident reports on John. This was the part of his job that he hated the most. He had to record for the patient's files anything that seemed even remotely relevant to their nocturnal habits or any abnormal behavior. He had managed to gather enough information from John to know that it had indeed been a nightmare that had woken John up and kept him up for the rest of the night until very early in the morning. Even though John claimed to not remember his dream, Matt was relatively sure that John had not gone right to sleep after he had left his room although he had not seen the light come back on.
On his way out he ran into Dr. Sajak coming into begin her shift.
"Good morning, Matt." She called out as he held the door open for her.
"Thanks, have a nice day." He answered back "Oh and Dijana, that new guy, John, go easy on him okay. I don't think he slept much last night."
"Thanks, Matt," she called back.
Going directly to her office, she unlocked the door and went to her computer. The first thing on her agenda was to check her e-mail and any faxes received along with all the night reports. She had about an hour before her first scheduled appointment with John and wanted to review his file before their session.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
John sat in the dinning hall at the end of one of the long tables as far away from anyone as he could get. The food looked fine but he really wasn't all that hungry. He had already finished his first cup of coffee and was about to go get himself another. Just as he got up he was approached by a rather large but friendly looking attendant.
"Call me Roger." He held out his hand to John. He had already been updated on the couple of new patients that had been admitted during the last few days while he was off.
John surveyed the man noticing the badge indicating that he was an employee. He also carried a clipboard very much the same as the one that Matt keep scribbling on. He was already tired of meeting new people and this guy was standing between him and coffee.
"Excuse me, I was getting some more coffee." John huffed not meaning to sound so put out.
"No problem, here let me get that for ya." He set the clipboard down and held out his hand for John's cup.
John handed his cup to Roger and sat back down watching the man pour the cup and sit across from him. "I assume you're suppose to see that I eat all this." John fussed wearily pushing his barely touched plate away.
"Well, yeah something like that," he smiled warmly. "We do keep track of stuff like that, but don't worry I'm not gonna feed ya," Roger laughed, "But I do haveta warn ya, I can't give ya any points for that." He pointed toward the plate.
"Points?" John furrowed his brow in confusion.
"Yeah, Dr. Sajak will explain it all to ya," he smiled.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Abby stepped out of the shower to the smell of fresh coffee brewing. As she was getting dressed she could hear Barbara rattling around in the kitchen and soon smelled pancakes and sausage cooking. She quickly made up the bed and made her way to the kitchen.
"Well good morning Abby, I just thought I'd fix us some breakfast. I hope you don't mind." Barbara said as she poured Abby a cup of coffee and set it on the breakfast island. Barbara's long hair was pulled up into a messy bun as she stood over the stove fully dressed in designer jeans and silk blouse covered with an old apron belonging to Abby.
"You didn't have to do that," Abby said, stirring sugar into her cup.
"I was hungry," Barbara shrugged, "I figured it was either fix breakfast here or eat alone. You do have to work, right?" Barbara set a plate down in front of Abby and returned to the stove.
"Yeah, at 7:00 but I'm off at 3:00 today," Abby answered, drinking deeply of the dark liquid. "Luka called last night and insisted on picking me up, " she added.
"That's the foreign guy that you used to date?" Barbara asked with a grin. She notice Abby twirling the ring on her finger completely lost in thought.
"He said he had something to talk to me about," Abby took off the ring and handed it to Barbara. "Here, I guess you should give this back to your mother."
"No way, Honey, that's yours and if I know my brother, I'm sure he wants you to hang on to that." Barbara took Abby's hand and placed the ring back on her finger.
"I just don't know anymore, I mean we promised each other that we would be there for each other and then after I had to go and hurt him so badly, now he doesn't even want me to know where he is but Luka can know, I just don't understand any of this." Abby had cried so many tears already that she had no tears left.
"Luka knows where John is?" Barbara's eye's widened in surprise.
"Kerry told me that Luka was with him, and when he called me last night he said that John was in a safe place but he wasn't ready for anyone to know where that was." Abby explained.
"So, how easy is it to get information from this Luka fellow? I can be very persuasive when I want to be." Barbara winked.
Abby couldn't help but to giggle. "Luka can be …very secretive. When someone has trusted him with a secret, his lips are sealed." She shrugged.
"Well, we'll see. Honey, the thing to remember is that he's fine. Johnny can be very stubborn. He can be a bit emotional. He was, well, he was always getting his feelings hurt, Abby. I'm sure you have realized that Scooter is different. He's a good man, Honey. And I know my brother well enough to have seen what I saw last night," Barbara held Abby's hand. "He is head over heals in love with you and nothing will stop him from coming back to you." She said.
"I don't know if I'll still be here." Abby looked away, trying not to cry.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Roger still sat with John but had invited a few others to join them, other newcomers that also seemed a bit reluctant to join in with the others.
John watched as a guy he'd been introduced to as Jason greedily eat up everything on his plate.
"Are ya gonna eat that?" Jason asked pointing to John's cold plate.
"Go for it." John pushed the plate in front of him. It made John's stomach turn just to watch the guy.
"Slow down there, trooper. " Roger pulled the plate back towards John. "There's plenty more where that came from. You go back on up there and get Amanda to issue you some more. This plate here is for John." Roger smiled, scooting John's plate even closer. John looked at the food but he couldn't eat.
"So how does this work here, can I go have a smoke before I have to meet with Dr. Sajak." John asked looking at his watch as he rose from his seat.
"You ain't gonna eat?" Roger picked up his clipboard.
"No. Can I go?" He asked. 'This was absolutely ridiculous,' he thought.
"Yeah, you can go." Roger documented John's meal, but continued talking. "There should be someone out on the back patio, I think maybe Geneen's on today," Roger informed him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Barbara and Abby had just finished breakfast and were cleaning up the kitchen when they heard a knock on the door.
Abby opened it and invited Luka in. She introduced him to Barbara who immediately excused herself to the guest room.
"How are you holding up?" Luka asked reaching out to place his hand on Abby's cheek.
"Don't ask." Abby blinked, pressing her face against him palm, needing the comfort that it provided.
Luka embraced her and held her tight. "He's going to be alright you know that don't you?" Luka asked pulling away just far enough to look her in the eyes.
Luka took notice of the ring on her finger and brought her hand up to take a closer look. "Wow, now that's what I call one heck of an engagement ring." Luka smiled. "Abby, it's hard for me to admit this but John loves you very much. You have to believe that."
"Then why… why doesn't he want to see me? Why can't I know where he is?" Abby pulled away and began pacing the long length of the living room.
"Abby, this was very hard for John. Did Kerry tell you what happened?" He asked, accepting the coffee she handed him.
"Not in details. I know he had another flashback. Luka, how could you let him commit himself? He could have stayed here, around the people who love him and gotten better. I could have helped him." She explained.
"Abby, I don't think, right now, John thinks anyone loves him. He said you thought it was all a joke."
"But, Luka, I lied! I told his mother we were engaged to get her off his back and I thought he was covering for me. His mother and grandmother made him propose. John didn't do it by choice. They had him backed up against the wall in front of all those people and he had no choice." She defended herself.
"Did you want him to mean it?" He asked. Abby paced the kitchen, reaching for a cigarette.
"For a second there, I looked into his eyes.... Luka, I knew he meant every word of it, but Jeezus, it was a cover-up." She exclaimed, nervously lighting her cigarette and taking a deep drag. She never smoked in the apartment.
"That's not what I asked. I asked if you wanted him to mean it." Luka repeated. Abby stopped and looked at him.
"Yes, Luka. I wanted him to mean it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Luka handed Abby John's credit card and explained all the things that John had wanted him to tell Abby. He knew this was really hard on her and he did his best to comfort her.
"Luka, I really want to thank you, for everything. I know John really appreciates it as well." Abby confided, looking at her watch she reminded Luka that it was time to go.
They were just about out the door when the phone rang.
"Abby, Honey, what's up with John? I got a very strange call from Kerry yesterday and I tried to reach you but I guess you were at work. She had me fax her all my records on my sessions with John. She said that he has a new therapist and was too busy at the moment to request the information himself and asked if she would do it. She sent me a signed release form but I've never actually seen John's signature so I thought I should check and see what's going on." Veronica obviously sounded very worried.
"Yeah… it's fine… I'm sure he did….okay it…" Abby stammered. "I'm really sorry, Veronica but I have to run, I was just on my way out the door." Abby couldn't bring herself to say anything more. She knew that if she didn't hang up quickly that she would break down and Veronica would know that something was amiss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dr. Dijana Sajak studied the night reports on John and reviewed the medicals records sent by Dr. Weaver. She was writing a few notes when she heard the knock on her door.
"Come on in, John." She called as she watched the door open slightly and John nervously stepped inside.
"Have a seat, I'll be finished here in a sec." Dijana typed away, looking up at John occasionally. She smiled inwardly as he shifted in his seat and yawned a couple times.
After a few more minutes past, John stood and began pacing slowing looking at the various certificates on the wall.
"Say's here that you didn't sleep well last night." Dijana sat back, giving John her full attention.
John just nodded as he yawned again. "I'm sorry," he said as he covered his gapping mouth. "Oh man, uh... no. I tried but I couldn't and then by the time I finally did, it was time to get up." John confessed.
"I was checking over your most recent medical history and I have it here that you had a bit of an accident only about a week ago. I know that cracked ribs can be quite uncomfortable for several weeks. Why didn't you mention that to anyone?" She asked quite concerned.
"I'm fine, I'm a little sore, but I'm fine." John was just too worn out to care about a few cracked ribs.
"And the stitches?" She asked.
John's hand immediately went to the side of his head. "Uh... yeah... I had Luka pull then out yesterday morning." John continued to pace restlessly.
"Okay, well we're going to go for a little walk anyways, John. I wasn't able to give you the full tour yesterday, so we can do that now." She stood and gathered up her charts and walked John out the door.
They headed down a long corridor and outside. John followed quietly.
"John, do you have any questions," Dijana asked.
"Since we're outside, can I smoke?" He asked, pulling a pack from his pocket. He had one in his mouth and lit it before she had a chance to answer.
"Sure, that's not a problem." She grinned. "So do you consider yourself a heavy smoker?"
"No, not really, I mean I smoked a lot when I was in rehab but I quit soon after I was home. I would have one every once in a while but lately I have been smoking a lot more."
"So, you smoke more when you feel stressed?" She asked.
He nodded. "Sometimes. More when I'm uncomfortable or uncertain."
"Are you uncomfortable with me?" She asked, thinking his self-analogy and choice of words was interesting. Most people would have said nervous.
"No, no." He snickered. "It's just this …this whole thing has me feeling a bit ungrounded. I'm not used to people writing down if I ate, when I slept, what I talked about, what I didn't talk about, what I'm thinking," he rattled off.
"I can't write down what you're thinking, John. Those are for you to know and we can only know the ones you chose to share with us," she smiled.
"I know."
"John, I can assure you, no one here can read your mind." Dijana placed her hand on his forearm gently.
"That's probably a good thing. Me being crazy is enough. No one wants to know what's in there, believe me," John laughed.
"In time, John. All in good time." They stopped in front of a rather large building. "This is our medical facility." Dijana pointed out as she sat on the decorative stonewall that surrounded the building to allow John to finish his cigarette.
"Tomorrow morning, you have an appointment for a physical. You'll come over here and meet with Dr. Bowers. He'll check you out for communicable diseases, weight, height, you know the drill." She added.
John just nodded silently.
"I understand that with your job that you are checked frequently for HIV etcetera, but we have to do this for our own records. Since you're a doctor yourself, I don't suppose I have to explain what a complete physical entails?" Dijana noticed John's quietness but her training allowed her to never assume anything.
"Are you always this quiet?" She finally asked watching him wander back and forth aimlessly.
"I'm just really tired," he claimed, crushing out the cigarette butt.
"I'm really sorry but you do have a group session scheduled at 9:00am." Dijana entered the medical building and showed John where Dr. Bowers' office was.
"Good morning, Dijana." A rather vivacious, elderly woman approached.
"Morning Hannah, this is John. John, this is Hannah. She's the head nurse and she'll introduce you to Dr. Bowers tomorrow. Your appointment is at 9:00 am sharp and don't be late or she'll come looking for you." Dijana teased.
"It's nice to meet you, John." Hannah winked. She had a rather flirtatious personality, which quickly put John at ease.
"Same here," John answered holding out his hand.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Veronica sat down in a large leather chair in her office. 'This is all just a bit strange,' she couldn't help but think. Picking up the phone, she called Brandon.
"Brandon, something is up with John. Remember me telling you about Kerry requesting his records? Well, I just called Abby. Everyone's being a little too secretive and I have a bad feeling, Honey."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
John reported for his group session. He looked around the room and thought to himself that none of the others looked necessarily crazy. It was hard to tell the staff from the patients sometimes and he found himself checking everyone for badges.
One thing he did notice was that many of the staff carried clipboards and were always jotting down notes. He soon found himself making a game of it, trying to analyze who they were looking at and what they were writing. He'd had enough training in this area and had made enough patient chart notes himself to be able to tell how their minds worked. 'Patient A seems distracted' or 'Patient B seems to be harboring many feeling of anger as displayed by their actions' or 'Patient C seems almost paranoid'. John chuckled at the notes he'd be writing as he watched this young kid when he realized one of the staff members was looking at him. As soon as John met their eyes, the employee began writing furiously. John wiped the grin off his face and began to pay attention.
For the next hour, John watched and listened. He listened to the intense details of childhood abuse told by the child, only this child was now nearly thirty and found cutting a way to deal with the guilt. John's mind flashed to the young med student they'd had in the ER. She was so intelligent, trying to please her parents by taking medicine and law? She was killing herself and she knew it but John had been naive enough to believe her. He'd even written her a prescription. He hadn't even seen her crying out for help. He of all people should have known as it had hit so close to home.
When she panicked and started screaming, John remembered the panic he felt well up inside of himself. He felt her pain, her humiliation, much like the look in Peter's eyes at his own intervention. Anspaugh's face, Mark's calm voice, Deb's accusations all flashed in his mind. John stood abruptly, having been silent through the whole meeting.
"John, are you okay?" Whispered Grace, the therapist.
"Fine. I'm just tired. I don't want to fall asleep on her." He replied quietly, running his hands through his hair. He began rubbing his wrist.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
John finished his lunch and quickly excused himself to the back patio. He had figured out the patients who ate their meals could leave the dining area right away.
After skipping breakfast, he had been hungry so it hadn't taken much effort to finish. He ran upstairs in his room to pick up his medical journal, wanting to finish reading the article that he had started. He still had about an hour to himself before his session with Nick so he took his journal out into the grassy area beyond the patio; he lay down on his stomach and began reading.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was about 4 pm when Brandon and Veronica arrived at O'Hare. They had managed to clear their books for a couple of days and decided that they would find out for themselves what was going on.
Picking up a rental car, they drove directly to John and Abby's apartment.
"No way, Luka. That was my move!" Abby laughed as she went to the door. Luka had brought her home and decided to spend some time with Abby and Barbara eating pizza to make sure she was all right.
Luckily her shift at the hospital had been uneventful, well, with the exception of the constantly churning rumor mill but Abby seemed to be dealing better. She opened the door and was shocked to see Veronica and Brandon.
"Uh, hi. Come on in." She said, not sure what to say about the concerned look in their eyes.
"Are you okay?" Brandon asked, hugging onto Abby. Both Luka and Barbara took notice.
"Yeah, I'm okay. Uh, guys, this is Veronica and Brandon. Veronica was John's therapist right before this all happened." She explained to Barbara. Luka eyed them suspiciously.
"Abby, you have got to tell me what's going on. Why did Kerry request all those records?" Veronica was beside herself with worry. Luka motioned the couple to sit on the couch while he moved next to Barbara.
"You were my brother's therapist? And you don't know what's going on?" Barbara asked. Veronica looked up at Abby who shook her head negatively, signifying Barbara knew nothing.
"Veronica, Brandon, this is Barbara, John's sister and Luka, my friend, who was with John last." Abby said.
"I should have known. You look just like John." Veronica said, knowing she could not get answers now, not if Barbara knew nothing of what was going on.
"So, Luka, nice to finally meet you. I've heard so much about you." Brandon surveyed the man, wondering just what was going on.
Luka looked to Abby who smiled slightly.
"So, Luka. Abby said you were the last one with John. How was he and how much do you know?" Brandon asked. Luka was obviously a guy who would cut the crap and get right to the point.
"I know a few things, just tell me, Dr. Montgomery," Luka addressed Veronica. "Are you the one responsible for bringing all these memories that he has been having back to the surface? Didn't you even bother to help him with a way to cope with them?" Luka asked.
"John has his own way of coping." Brandon assured Luka. The tension in the room was stifling.
"Well, whatever you may think that is, it's not working for him." Luka eyed him carefully.
"We do care about John." Brandon felt a bit uneasy under Luka's glare.
"Will someone please tell me what is wrong with my brother?" Barbara stood and demanded. Everyone in the room looked at one another.
"Come with me, Barbara. If I tell you the truth, will you promise not to tell Millicent or Eleanor?" Abby led Barbara to the bedroom, shutting the door behind.
To be continued…
Copyright Footer', 'This site is not affiliated in any way with "ER", its writers or production company, or NBC, and makes no profit from the show. The ERROS skin is by Brihana. The script is eFiction version 3.4.2© Tammy Keefer, http://efiction.org\r\n