John came out of the bedroom in the direction of the coffee pot when he noticed Brandon sleeping on the couch. Brandon stirred at the noise.
"Is that you, John?" Brandon said, lifting his head slightly. John slowly walked to him and sat on the couch, stroking his face.
"I am so sorry, Brandon. I didn't mean to forget you last night. Man, I should have had you come in to sleep in the bed with us." John said tenderly.
Brandon chuckled. "I think I can honestly say that bed with the two of you was the last place I wanted to be last night, Baby." He said. John pulled back.
"It wouldn't have mattered. I didn't use my side anyway." John got up and went to the kitchen to get the coffee going. Brandon followed.
"I take it you two didn't talk yet?" He asked, stretching.
"No." John shook his head. "She left."
"What?" Brandon asked. John held up a note.
"Left it on her pillow." He said, exhausted. "She thought I was asleep but I wasn't."
"So, why in the hell did you let her go without talking to her?" Brandon yelled. At that moment, Eric came out of his room in full military garb.
"So, did she come home?" Eric asked, seeing John's obvious state of exhaustion.
"She did." Brandon said quietly, watching John closely.
"And she left." John filled his coffee cup and went back to the bedroom. Eric just looked surprised.
"Man, someone should have told me we weren't in Kansas, Toto." Eric exclaimed, making Brandon laugh.
"You want a ride to the airport? I'm getting out while I still can." Brandon smiled.
"Sure." Eric laughed.
"John," Brandon called to the bedroom door, John opened it, half dressed. "I'm taking Eric to the airport and heading home myself. You and Abby need to work this out on your own." He said. John just looked tired.
"Thanks for coming down and sorry, Eric. Maybe next time we can actually enjoy the visit. This isn't usual for either of us. It's just been a hell of a couple weeks." John tried to apologize.
"Don't worry about it, John. I got to spend some time with my sister and honestly, I think you two are perfect for each other." He joked.
"Thanks, I think." John smirked as he shook Eric's hand. He gave Brandon a quick kiss. "Tell Veronica thanks also, will you?"
"I will." Brandon smiled.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
John went to work early and started seeing patients right away. He needed to be occupied with something, anything, to keep him from thinking too much. He came out of an examination room just in time to see Luka gently help Abby remove her jacket as she punched her timecard. John stopped, frozen in shock as he watched their familiarity with one another. Abby was happy, laughing and almost glowing. She looked up to see John's cold, hard stare.
"John," she whispered. He broke the stare and made his way quickly to the lounge.
Abby ran after him. "John, wait!" She called. She found him at the coffee pot, attempting to pour a cup with his shaking hands. He didn't even turn around to look at her when she came barreling in.
"Dammit, John. Look at me! Let me explain!" She demanded.
John turned around and Abby gasped at the look on his face. His cheeks were hollow, the deep dark circles under his eyes were standing out like they'd been painted on, and stubble covering his chin and it was the haunted look in his eyes that scared her most. John was angry.
"Explain? Oh, there's no reason to explain anything, Abby. After you left our bed this morning, I took care of our houseguests. Your brother made it to the airport on time, thanks to Brandon taking him right before he caught a flight home himself. Everything is just fine, Abby. I just hope that you and Luka had a wonderful time. It seems like he took good care of you." He said managing to keep his voice extremely restrained.
"John, it's not like it looks." Abby walked to him and she reached up to caress his face but he jerked away.
"It doesn't matter what it really is, Abby. It IS how it looks. Look, I don't care why you came home so late or even why you left this morning. At least you were kind enough to leave me a note, okay? I would, however, appreciate it if you would not flaunt it here at work. All these people know me, know us and I don't like having my personal life, as fucked up as it is, dragged in those front doors for everyone to see, okay?" He said it calmly, but Abby could see his whole body shaking.
"John, please let me explain." She insisted, putting her hand on his shoulder. He pulled away, his hands wrapping around himself.
"Don't touch me! Don't…" he cried, stopping himself. He shook his head, trying to stay in the present.
"John, please, I love you," Abby said.
John abruptly walked away. "You've got a hell of a way of showing it, Miss Lockhart." He spat as he exited out onto the bay.
John found himself pacing up and down, trying to light a cigarette but his lighter just kept sparking.
"Dammit!" he yelled to himself, throwing the lighter in the direction of the trash bin. Suddenly, a flame appeared before his face. John looked up to see Luka holding a lighter. Hesitantly, he finally brought his cigarette towards the flame. "Thanks." John mumbled, taking a few steps back to get Luka out of his personal space.
"There's no need to be angry with her," Luka said after a long pause.
John laughed silently. "You are the last person I want in my personal life," he scoffed.
"Do you hate me that much, Carter?" Luka asked.
John glared at him knowing that it was better to just keep silent.
"I've always thought you were a good doctor, but you sometimes let your emotions get in the way." Luka tried to be friendly.
"Oh, so I should be more like you? I should go beat up the next guy who says or does something that pisses me off? Maybe I'll kill them, too! Would that make me feel better?" John yelled. The last thing he needed was Kovac giving him advice.
"Be careful, Carter," Luka warned, feeling his own temper rising. He knew it would take one simple punch to ruin both John and his career at County but Carter was pushing his buttons.
"Did she sleep with you last night? Did you comfort her in ways only you can? Did you take care of her, Luka?" John accused. Then his whole body seemed to back off, his posture slumping in his emotional exhaustion. "Someone should because I certainly can't right now." John mumbled, his back facing Luka.
"Abby spent several hours at my place last night, yes, then I brought her home. We met for breakfast this morning, but we hadn't planned it. I was having breakfast by myself and she came in and I invited her to join me." Luka began softly, watching John crumble from the inside before his eyes. "And she told me what you are going through."
John snapped around and looked at Luka, humiliation in his eyes.
Luka ignored John's demeanor and continued. "Last night she wanted a drink so I took her to my place where she had one beer. Just one. Carter, she talked to me about you and she talked to me about her drinking. I didn't know. You tried to tell me but I didn't listen and I'm sorry. She told me how much she loved you and how much pain you were in. Carter, you have got to talk to someone. You can't let this eat you up inside like you have been. It's eating away at Abby, too. She's scared for you and she's scared for herself. You've got to do something to make yourself better and if that means taking it out on me, then that's fine but I've been there, Carter. I have things in my head too that keep me awake. I spent years traveling around never getting close to people because it hurt too much but I've stopped that. I'm learning to deal with the nightmares and you need to figure out your way. You can't let it ruin your life." Luka said.
John turned and looked at Luka, searching for information, for how much he really knew. Abby couldn't have told him everything. Of course, Abby didn't know everything herself. Only Brandon and Veronica knew.
"I've been in love with Abby for almost three years now," John admitted, testing the waters where Luka was concerned.
"I know." Luka nodded. "She's been in love with you almost that long also."
"I don't want to hurt her," John mumbled.
"I know." Luka reached out to pat John's shoulder
John finally smiled. They began walking back to the hospital entrance.
"Well, it doesn't look like they're going to kill each other." Susan said. She'd been watching the entire exchange with Kerry and Haleh from the doorway.
"Whatever happened between the two of you?" Kerry asked softly.
"That guy is way too messed up for me, Kerry. It's scary to find out how fast his mind works, trust me." They all laughed as she picked up a patient's chart.
"Nice of you two to decide to come back to work. We do have a few patients that would like to be seen today if you can find the time." Kerry said, her voice conveying authority but her eyes carrying a soft concern for both men.
"Sorry, Dr. Weaver." Luka smiled as he picked up the next patient's chart.
John smiled at both Haleh and Kerry.
"I'll get right on it, Dr. Weaver, but I have to apologize to someone first." John said quietly.
"She's in the bathroom with Lydia." Haleh informed John.
"Thanks," he nodded. John walked to the women's bathroom and knocked softly on the door before cracking it open. Lydia smiled and left the two alone. Abby had a handful of tissues and her face was all puffy from crying. John walked over to her and pulled her small body into a hug.
"I am so sorry, Abby. I was stupid and irrational. I love you." He pulled her face up so he could look into her eyes. "I never should have doubted you for a second after all the times you've stayed with me and I'm sorry. I was worried when I didn't hear from you yesterday and yes I became angry. Then you come in so late and it was obvious you'd …well, you know. I was awake when you left this morning but you didn't even try to talk to me and that hurt. When I saw you with Luka, I guess everything just got to me, okay?" He gently kissed her lips. "Abby, please forgive me. I love you and I do know that you love me. Please tell me you love me," he begged; his eyes locked on hers.
"I love you, John," she said, feeling a sense of relief by saying those words.
"We're going to be okay." He promised, pressing his forehead against hers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The following evening John stood in his closet searching for the tie that went to his tux.
"John, please tell me again why I have to go to this thing?" Abby called from the bedroom. She slipped on her new black pumps and looked at herself in the mirror. The dress Veronica had convinced her to buy was pretty on her frame and it was slightly bigger than her bra after all. She turned around, making sure she had no lines showing. John stepped out of the bathroom, fixing his tie.
"You're the one who… wow. That dress is amazing. You look so…wow!" He smiled.
Abby couldn't help but to blush with the way he looked at her sometimes.
"You don't think it's too much? I mean, this isn't a huge event like that little charity thing you took me to, is it?" She teased, finishing his tie for him.
"I don't think it's too much but we may never make it to Gamma's house." He teased, bending over and kissing her neck. Her hair was up in a French twist, with curls cascading down her neck.
"I don't look like a floozy, do I?" She asked; still thinking the dress was a bit much.
"No, Abby," he chuckled. "You look fabulous. Let's get this appearance over with. The sooner we get there, the sooner we can leave," he said, reaching for his jacket.
"It'll be just family, right?" She asked as they headed towards the door. John laughed.
"Uh, I think so but you never know. When Gamma decides she wants company, she usually invites a few people," he teased. He knew this would be an all out event but he didn't want Abby backing out now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
John pulled his jeep up the long drive and he saw just what he had expected to see. The house was lit up, cars parked in the lots off to the side and valets standing by, waiting to serve. By experience, he figured the guest list was about 300 people, judging by the amount of vehicles.
"Little family get-together, my ass!" Abby stated loudly as they pulled up to the house.
"Abby, for my family, this is intimate." He laughed, turning the jeep off and handing his keys to the valet.
"I'll put it in the garage, Dr. Carter." The young man insured.
"The valet knows you by name?" Abby giggled as John held out his arm.
"Gamma always uses the same company," he said as they began walking towards the house. "Abby?" He asked, stopping outside the front door.
"Yes?" She asked, nervously giggling.
"You may be asked a lot of questions tonight. Just don't let my grandmother or my mother get to you, okay?" He asked, much more nervous than he appeared.
"Grandmother? I've never heard you call her your 'grandmother'." Abby laughed. "Don't worry, John. I can handle your mother and Gamma."
"Boy, I hope so." He said under his breath as the doors opened before them.
"Dr. Carter," Henry stated as John and Abby stepped inside. Abby's eyes roamed the room.
"Wow. This place is so amazing every time I come here." She smiled, still holding tight on John's arm. Henry took her handbag and wrap as they made their way into the party.
"Why, John, we weren't sure if you were going to make an appearance tonight." Eleanor came right over and they gently kissed each other.
Abby could see how false it all was.
"We worked until seven, mom," John reminded her. "Mom, I'd like to introduce you to Abby. I'm not sure if you remember her." He stated, his arm proudly behind Abby's back.
"Well, of course I remember her, John. It's not that often you bring a friend around. Nice to see you again, Abby. We all figured that John would show up dateless again, as usual. I tried to reach the senator's daughter but she was in France, I believe. I'm glad that John has friends that he works with like you, dear. Would either of you care for a drink?" Eleanor walked them towards the bar.
"Mom, Abby's a bit more than a friend," John said, totally embarrassed. He felt like a teenager.
"Oh, really? Aren't you two roommates? I thought that was a bit strange when John told me the two of you were just roommates because I don't ever remember hearing about John living with another female, have you, John?" Eleanor kept eyeing Abby, checking her actions, her look and her emotions out suspiciously.
"Mom, Abby and I are involved in a very serious relationship." John confided, trying to tell her quietly but Eleanor had already been drinking quite a bit.
"Oh, really?" She stopped and glared at Abby. "And how long has this been going on?" She asked.
"For quite…" John started but he was abruptly cut off.
"I was speaking to Abby." Eleanor stated, drawing her attention back toward Abby.
John knew when to shut up and Abby could feel him tense up.
"We've been engaged for two weeks but have been dating for quite some time. We've been best friends for several years." Abby stated proudly, standing up to Eleanor.
Both John and Eleanor looked at her in complete shock.
"Is this true, John? Are the two of you engaged?" She turned towards John, who quickly wiped the shocked grin off his face as he looked at Abby's smile.
"Uh, yes, mother, we are." He said, feeling Abby holding tightly onto his arm, smiling at him.
"Did my son get you a ring?" Eleanor was shocked that John would keep such a huge announcement from her and she wondered if he'd told his father yet.
"I asked him not to," Abby said clearly. "I can't wear it at work and it just didn't seem like the right time so we've decided to wait."
"Have you two set a date?" Eleanor asked, trying to find out more information. She looked at John, who was a slight shade of red as he continued to gaze at Abby.
"Not yet. We're interested in a long engagement, Mrs. Carter. We want to make sure that we're both stable in our careers before we commit to a marriage." Abby smiled.
"Oh, John, isn't that your grandmother? Should we go over and say hello?" Abby said, slyly pulling John away from his mother.
"What was all that about?" John pulled her into the hallway as soon as they were free from his mother's grasps.
"Think she bought it?" Abby giggled. "I just don't want to hear how they need to set you up with the senator's daughter or the councilman's niece. We're here together and I wanted them to know that. Why? Don't think you'll ever ask me to marry you?" She teased, fixing his collar.
John was still flabbergasted. "Oh, I see it as a possibility, Miss Lockhart. I just wasn't sure if you did. I'm not the easiest person to live with for the rest of your life." He said, looking lovingly into her eyes. His heart had actually done leaps when she had said they were engaged. Now, he just wished they really were.
"No, you aren't but neither am I," she smiled, reaching up and giving him a quick kiss. "Let’s go find Gamma, shall we?"
They found Millicent out on the patio, talking with several of the executives from the Carter Foundation. She smiled widely as soon as she saw her grandson.
"John, you look fabulous. Oh, and Miss Lockhart, I didn't expect to see you tonight. What a pleasant surprise." John leaned down to give Millicent a kiss.
"Hi, Gamma, you look radiant," he said, looking around. "So, who's all here?"
"Oh, the usual boring people. Chase is in the library if you want to see him and I believe there is a certain female around here which you'll be very pleased to see," she said.
John groaned. "Who, Gamma? Please don't tell me it's another date you and my mother have set up for me. I have no problems getting a date, Gamma."
"Oh, John, hush. Abby's obviously your date this evening. No, I believe this one will be a bit more pleasant. John, Barbara is here." She smiled.
"Barbara's here?" John repeated, looking around with more of a purpose.
"Your sister Barbara?" Abby asked.
John's eyes twinkled with excitement.
"Yeah, let's go find her. Thanks, Gamma." They set off towards the library.
"I'm looking forward to meeting Barbara," Abby smiled, feeling John's excitement.
"She's great. You'll love Chase, too," he smiled. They found the library quickly and as soon as he saw his cousin, Chase's whole face lit up.
"Hey Scooter!" Chase said, waving towards John. John came over and ruffled his hair.
"Hey, Chase. I want to introduce you to someone very special to me. Chase, this is Abby." He knelt next to Chase's wheelchair. Chase stuck out his hand as Abby took it.
"Nice to meet you, Chase," she said. She remembered hearing about Chase and his drug addiction and how John had tried to help when he overdosed. She also knew that John still visited Chase, almost weekly. Chase pulled John towards him and whispered something, making John laugh.
"Yes, she is, Chase. That she is." John laughed.
"Oh, my God, Scooter!" A woman called from the doorway. John jumped up, his smile beaming as he ran to her embrace.
"Hey, Barbara, you look fantastic!" He laughed as they hugged tightly. Abby smiled, not remembering how long it had been since she'd seen John look so happy. He and Chase were obviously close and Barbara looked like an older female version of him. There was no denying that they were related.
"And who's your date?" Barbara asked, seeing Abby standing there by herself.
John smiled as he held out a hand toward Abby beckoning her to come closer. He wrapped him arms around her waist as he introduced the two women.
"Barbara, this is Abigail Lockhart. We work together at the hospital," John said.
"Mother tells me there's a bit more going on that you're trying to keep a secret. She tells me you two are engaged. Is that true, Scooter?" Barbara teased.
"Engaged?" Chase asked, slowly but able to understand what was being said.
Both John and Abby laughed.
"That was a bit of a white lie," John admitted. Abby was enjoying watching these three adults, once extremely close as children interact with one another.
"Abby told her that so she wouldn't have to listen to Mom rattling on about setting me up with all these society girls, you know."
"So, you two don't have anything going on?" Barbara asked, looking at Abby.
"We do live together," Abby said.
"Oh, God, don't let Gamma hear that," Barbara said loudly.
"She knows," John blushed. "Abby and I have been living together for several months now."
"It's the sleeping together part that's new," Abby added.
Chase held up his hand for a high five, which a very red-faced John hit.
"Good for you!" Chase stated.
"Damn right!" Barbara held her arm around her baby brother. "In case you haven't noticed, Scooter, you're not getting any younger. I think it's great.
So, Abby." Barbara held out her hand. "You have got to tell me all about your relationship." Barbara led Abby out of the room as John collapsed on the couch, dying of embarrassment.
"Chase, I'm dead," he said, holding his head in his hands.
"Why?" Chase rolled his wheelchair closer to his younger cousin.
"Chase, we've only been dating for a few weeks now and I've really fucked it up so far, man. The Carter women are going to scare her off, I just know it."
"You love her more than Anna?" Chase asked.
John looked up at him.
"Oh, yeah, like a million times more than Anna, Chase. She's the air I breathe." John admitted.
Chase smiled as he ruffled John's hair.
"She's pretty. I'd do her," he stated, making John laugh.
"Well, you stay back because she's mine," John smiled.
Chase laughed.
To be continued…….
Copyright Footer', 'This site is not affiliated in any way with "ER", its writers or production company, or NBC, and makes no profit from the show. The ERROS skin is by Brihana. The script is eFiction version 3.4.2© Tammy Keefer, http://efiction.org\r\n