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"Egg roll?" Abby asked sleepily, lying on top of John amidst the tangled heaps of blankets and empty food containers. He turned his head, accepting a bite from the food she held in front of his mouth.



"Thanks," he mumbled, with his mouth full.



She kissed his lips then laid her head back on his chest as she ate.



"You still sleepy?" he asked softly, running his fingers through the back of her hair. They'd spent the entire day making love, eating, sleeping, and making love some more. John had never been so relaxed with a woman in his life.



"A little," Abby said, her ear against his skin. She liked listening to his voice through his chest; the reverb was surprisingly comforting.



"Hey, Abby?" He asked.



"Yeah?" She traced lazy circles across his shoulder. She'd never realized how many freckles his skin had.



"You know that you never talk about why you started drinking again? You know, a few months ago?" He asked.



"What's there to talk about, I told you why I did it." She sat up and faced him.



"I know, but after 5 ½ years of being sober… It's just kind of scary to think that everything could be okay for that long and then all of a sudden… bam," John shrugged, thinking more about his own addiction that of Abby's.



"Like I said, it was my birthday and I was just feeling depressed. When Sobriki showed up at the hospital I freaked out. God John, I tried to get Susan to do something to get him out of there." Abby felt John's arms tenderly envelope her.



"I know you did," he whispered softly.



"You know, you're not the only one that has nightmares about Sobriki. I was sent to find some tubing…I moved around some packages on the supply cart and the knife…I found the knife. It fell on the floor right in front of me. It was full of blood, yours and Lucy's." She was shaking as John just held her.



"I'm sorry, Abby you don't have to say any more," he kissed softly along her neck, pulling her to him as she laid her head on his chest



"In answer to your original question, it just happened. I went home that night and Joyce was sitting on the steps. She invited me to have a beer with her and it was just easier to say yes than to explain why not. I was lonely." She admitted. "Things just seemed easier to handle when I drank, you know?"



"I do," he smiled, "Sometimes I think a lot would be easier," he confessed.



They stayed in place, listening to each other breathe, feeling their hearts beat in a similar rhythm.



"I'm going to go to New York on Monday," John said softly. "I think I'm ready to work some things out."



Abby was silent. "I'm happy." She finally said, sounding sad.



John pulled her up so he could see her face. "What's wrong, Sweetie?" He brushed her hair from her face.



Abby tried to smile. "I don't want to miss anything. I mean I've been with you for all the other sessions. I think it's important that I understand what's going on with you," she said, tracing his jaw line with her finger.



"I need to do this for me, Abby, I need to do this for us," he kissed her tenderly.



"I love you, John."



He was lost looking in her eyes. He felt himself beginning to become aroused.



"So, where do you want to go on our honeymoon?" He kidded, his hands slipping down to her hips, which were still comfortably on top of his.



Abby made a 'deep thinking' face. "Hmmm, how about Hawaii?" she asked. John shook his head.



"Too touristy, how about Jamaica?" he asked, kissing her neck.



"What about Paris?" she suggested.



"How about we just stay here?" He rolled her over, kissing her deeply.



Abby started laughing. "Again? My, God, we already beat our records hours ago." She giggled, feeling him press against her. "Oh, John, you do have remarkable recovery time." She smiled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~



They walked into the hospital hand in hand. This time, everyone noticed.



"Oh, looks like young love coming in the door," Chuni laughed.



John and Abby just smiled.



"Mind your own business, Chuni." John kidded.



Abby tried to pull away but he wasn't letting her go.



"John, let me go clock in." She playfully hit at him.



Dr. Weaver came up between them and separated their hands.



"Don't let it get in the way of your work, you two." She smirked.



Abby went to the time clock and punched in.



"We won't, Dr. Weaver." John smiled, watching Abby as he typed.



"Good." Kerry nodded, watching the smile Abby had on her face. She didn't think she'd ever seen the young nurse looking so happy.



Several of the staff crowded around the front desk, where Jerry pulled out the famous notebook.



"Okay, let's see who gets the pool," Jerry announced.



Abby turned to John, who stood behind her.



"What pool?" Abby asked curious as to what the excitement was about.



"We've had a pool going on how long it would take for you two to announce your relationship." Jing-Mei helped. "It's not me. I figured you'd realize it a long time ago." She laughed.



"The winner is…" Jerry announced. "Dr. Weaver?" He questioned.



Kerry held out her hand.



"She cheated." Abby and John laughed, talking at the same time. They looked at each other.



"Oh, God, now they're finishing each other's sentences. I'm going to be sick." Susan walked off while Kerry counted her winnings.



John pulled Abby towards the lounge. Just as they were about to enter, Luka was coming out.



"Oh, excuse me," John said, almost running directly into the Croatian.



Luka looked at them and then to Abby. She looked embarrassed.



"I'll be in here," John excused himself, stepping carefully around the co-worker and ex-boyfriend, he still felt a bit nervous about Luka knowing that he and Abby were more than just friends.



"Hi, Luka," Abby said, playing with a strand of her hair.



"So, I guess the rumors are true," Luka said quietly.



Abby shifted nervously. "I'm sorry, Luka, I should have told you myself." She finally said, the silence uncomfortable.



"Are you happy?" He asked, reaching out and touching her cheek, forcing her to look at him. She met his eyes and smiled.



"Very." She stated.



He looked at her eyes for a few moments. "Good, you should be happy." He gently leaned in and kissed her forehead. "Have a good shift, Abby." He said as he walked off. Abby slowly walked into the lounge, looking stunned.



"You okay?" John asked, looking around her for Luka.



Abby nodded. "Yeah. He asked if I was happy and I told him I was." She smiled, still in shock. "And he said good." She looked up at John. "He said I should be happy." She smiled.



John exhaled loudly. "That's a relief. I don't think I could handle another duel." He joked.



Abby looked at him. "You did do that to impress me, didn't you?" She laughed, seeing John blush.



"And failed miserably," he shrugged.



Abby walked toward him, hugging him closely. "He did do a better Hamlet, you know that don't you? But, I think it was just the accent…hey, can you speak French?" She teased, "I hear French is the language of 'love.'



John feigned feeling hurt by holding his hand over his heart. "But we broke the record, didn't we?" He said.



"That we did." She smiled to herself.



"Carter! Abby! Your shift started ten minutes ago!" Dr. Weaver yelled from the door.



"See you later." John kissed the back of her neck as he went quickly to the front desk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~



"Okay, let's get her up to the OR." John announced. The woman on the gurney reached out and grasped his arm. John leaned down. "You're going to be fine, Mrs. Thomas. They're going to take you up stairs to fix your leg now." He reassured her. She nodded in understanding. John gently took her hand and placed it on her stomach. He nodded to Malik to continue moving the gurney.



"Nice job, John" Jing-Mei said, stripping off her gloves.



"Thanks, Deb, you too." He smiled. He had been smiling through his entire shift.



"So, does she make you happy?" Jing-Mei asked. She'd always had a special place in her heart for John, having known him for so long. Once rivals, now they were very close friends.



"It's weird, for the first time, I feel like I can be me, you know? I don't have to be the doctor, or the perfect son, or the image of what people in the past have placed on me. I can just be myself. I don't have to pretend with Abby because she's seen it all," he confessed to his friend.



"How's your family going to take it?" She asked, knowing hers would not approve. Abby was clearly of a different social upbringing than she or John and she knew that outward appearances were imbedded in John the way they were for her.



"I'm not worried about that," he said, tossing his gown into the bin. "It's not like they have ever gave a damn what happened to me. All they ever cared about was that I would come to my senses and join the family business."



"Does she understand that to be with you, she needs to attend social functions and fundraisers and to be able to mingle with the other women?" Jing-Mei asked. She wasn't insulting Abby. She just knew how much pressure that would be for someone not used to it.



"We haven't come right out and talked about it but I think she knows. She has seen how many of those things I've had to do and she's met my whole family so it shouldn't be that hard." John explained, not having thought about this before.



"John, how serious is this?" She leaned against the wall, watching his body language. He smiled and looked her directly in the eyes.



"She's it, Deb," he smiled. Jing-Mei smiled back.



"I'm glad to see you figured that out finally. I could have told you that a year ago." She gave him a kiss on the cheek. "She's very lucky," she whispered.



"Thank you," John blushed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~



Abby punched out on the time clock and looked around for John. It was the end of her shift and she wasn't looking forward to leaving without him. The shift had been busy throughout the night and they rarely saw much of each other, except in passing.



"Dr. Weaver, have you seen John?" She asked.



"He's finishing up with a kid who was hit by a car. They're in Trauma Two. Why don't you tell him he needs to take a break?" Kerry smiled, knowing they hadn't even taken breaks or their dinner break together.



"Thanks, Dr. Weaver." Abby blushed as she went to find John. Just as she walked up, the child was being wheeled out of the room.



"You'll be fine, Katie. They're just going to take some pictures of that pretty head of yours." John called to the frightened girl. He smiled to the mother.



"Really, she'll be fine, Mom. We just want to make sure she didn't hurt her head when she fell down. Her arm just needs a cast. She'll be fine. Go ahead and follow them, okay?" He gently urged the mother to follow her child.



John smiled, seeing Abby walking up with her bag on her shoulder. "Hi." He said, keeping a respectable distance.



Luka walked by on his way to the lounge, glancing in their direction.



"Uh, Dr. Weaver said you needed to take a break. I'm on my way out." Abby said, wishing she could touch him. His hair was tousled, his tie was crooked, and he just looked so adorable. John's eyebrows rose.



"Basement?" He smiled. Abby blushed deeply and she looked around to see if anyone else heard him. She shook her head.



"I don't think that's a good idea, how about the roof?" She suggested. John took several steps toward the front desk.



"I'll be on the roof if anyone needs me." He announced. Kerry looked up.



"We won't," she said. "But don't be gone too long," she warned.



"It won't take long," John smiled.



"I know," Kerry said sarcastically walking by the couple.



Abby couldn't help but laugh at the look on his face. She took a hold of his arm and pulled him toward the elevator.



"Come on before a trauma comes in," she urged.



"What did she mean by that?" He asked.



"You know exactly what she meant," Abby laughed, pushing John onto the empty elevator. Abby slid up against him, pressing him against the wall as the doors closed.



"You're going to make me feel the next eight hours of my shift, aren't you?" John chuckled, feeling Abby's body fit so close up to his. She began to loosen his tie.



"And then some," Abby purred, pulling off his lab coat.



"We're going to get caught," John moaned, feeling Abby's lips against his neck. Abby reached out and pushed the stop button.



"Now, where was I?" She teased, looking into his quickly darkening pools of brown.

~~~~~~~~~~~~



Abby didn't think that leaving John to continue his shift while she was off would be so hard. There had been many times before that they barely crossed paths on opposite sifts but now things had changed and she longed for him to be near her. She already dreaded the idea of only seeing him in passing. Curling up in and empty bed suddenly felt so lonely as she cuddled up with John's pillow and drifted off to sleep.



After a 20-hour shift, John was ready to crawl into bed and sleep until eternity. As he approached the bed, he smiled when he saw Abby curled up with his pillow. He quietly undressed and crept in alongside her and gently brushed a stray hair from her face. He snuggled up next to her and was soon off to dreamland.



Abby stepped out of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel. She stopped and watched John snoring soundly, sprawled out across the bed, totally tangled in the blankets. She didn't have the heart to wake him just yet. She went out into the kitchen and noticed a vase with a beautiful bouquet of dried flowers sitting on the kitchen table. There was a note.



Abby,



You are my life, my breath, and my sun.



I love you,

John



She smiled. He always had a way of making her stomach flip. She pulled a bottle of water from the refrigerator and went back to the bathroom. She needed to get moving, needing to report for her shift in less than an hour.



After getting dressed and drying her hair, she knew she'd have to say goodbye to the sleeping figure in the bed eventually. She sat on the edge, brushing his unruly mop off his forehead.



"Hey, John." She called softly. "Hey, honey, I have to go to work now." She gently shook his shoulder, causing him to stir. "Come on, John. I have to go." She nudged a bit stronger, finally eliciting a smile.



"Call in sick," he mumbled, still not opening his eyes.



"I can't and you know it," she teased back. He finally opened his eyes. "You're off tomorrow, aren't you?" She asked.



"Yep, and I'm not moving from this spot," he smiled, pulling her down for a kiss.



"A mint?" She laughed. John moved it between his teeth and smiled.



"I woke up while you were drying your hair. Want it?" He asked. Abby leaned in and after a long and passionate kiss, she took the mint.



"I've really got to go," she smiled, touching his lips.



"I'll be dreaming about you," he grinned, rolling away from her, burying himself under the blankets.



"I love you, John," Abby said on her way out the door.



"I love you, too, Abby," he answered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~



John stared up at the ceiling. He hadn't slept since Abby had left and now it was the middle of the night and his body was exhausted. His mind was on overload with disturbing images whenever he closed his eyes. Giving up on relaxing, he pulled himself out of bed and went out to the balcony where he lit a cigarette in the dark night.



He was thinking about a young boy he'd treated earlier in the day. His mother had brought him in for a broken wrist but it was the boy's silence that got to him. His mother was well dressed and obviously loved her son but wasn't quite sure when he'd had his last tetanus or if he was allergic to any medications. She stated that his nanny would have the medical records and today had been her day off. The boy barely said two words the entire time and seemed so timid and withdrawn.



He knew exactly who the boy reminded him of. He couldn't help but to see the boy's interest each time the nanny's name was mentioned and he just wondered if his nanny took care of him the way Nicole had taken care of him. Maybe they were right. Maybe what Nicole had done with him at such a young age had been wrong. Maybe he'd done things earlier than most boys his age. But he had no choice. It wasn't like anyone else had paid him any attention at the time. He had no option but to grow up. He couldn't be a child anymore. He was expected to be what his parents thought a perfect boy should be – polite, studious, well behaved, and obedient. He was the only son, the heir to the family business. He had been all of those things.



Now here he was, wide-awake when he should be sleeping. Sure, he'd gone through a lot in his life, many things that would have broken a weaker man. He had survived and he was fine. The things he'd been through hadn't affected him then and they certainly didn't affect him now. His life was perfect. He was a doctor, he had the woman of his dreams, and life was fine. All these thoughts and memories were getting jumbled up in his mind and he said aloud, "I'm fine, John Truman Carter is completely fine." If he kept saying this, eventually he'd convince himself that it was true.



To be continued…………
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