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"Roni, what's wrong, Honey? What happened in there? Is John all right?" Brandon begged his beloved. She was raging mad and Veronica rarely lost her temper about anything.



"That man in there …those women…he's been. Oh, Brandon, he's been so hurt." She cried against him as Brandon held her. After a few moments, Veronica looked up and saw Abby's eyes. Veronica released her husband and went to Abby. "Oh, Honey." Veronica just pulled Abby into a hug, holding her tightly.



"What happened? Did you hypnotize him? What did he say? Veronica, what is wrong with John?"



Abby pulled away, not needing a hug but needing to know about John.



Veronica nodded her head. She composed herself for Abby.



"I'm sorry, Honey, he's fine. He's sleeping, Kerry brought over a few sedatives and he's fine," she explained. Abby's eyes looked shocked.



"What did you give him? Veronica, he's an addict! What the hell did you give him?" Abby demanded. Brandon held Abby's arms.



"Abby, why don't you go in and be with him right now. Let me talk to Roni, okay?" Brandon suggested, gently making Abby walk back inside. Abby looked stunned. "Go, on, Hon. He's fine, he just needs you by him right now," Brandon, convinced coaxing Abby into the bedroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~



"Roni," Brandon managed to bring his wife in and sat with her on the couch. "What the hell happen in there?" He asked.



"He was almost catatonic, Brandon. The pain, the hurt, oh, Honey, he's got so much going on in there. He's in a very unstable mental place right now and we've come down here and sent him into this whirlpool, head first! Honey, I can't help but feel like we had something to do with this," she stated.



"Roni, we did not hurt John. If anything, we want him to know he can trust us. I believe we've proven that to him already," Brandon reassured her.



"I think I can help him, Brandon. I want to help John and Abby deal with this," Veronica stated, almost pleading. Brandon held her close.



"I'm sure you can, Honey." He gently rocked her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~



Abby stood at the bedroom door, watching him. He was curled up almost in a fetal position. She could see that his T-shirt was still soaked with sweat and he looked to be shaking. She slipped her shoes off and sat down next to him, stroking his wet hair. Carefully, she pulled up his shirt and gently pulled his limp arms out of the sleeves. She remembered doing this with her brother when they were little and he'd fall asleep on the sofa. Once the wet shirt was off, she crawled in bed behind him, wrapping her body around his and pulling the blankets up around his shaking shoulders.



Abby lay there, holding tight for hours, thinking. She remembered back when she'd first transferred to the ER, she had been so impressed and in awe of this handsome, young doctor. She'd heard about him for years, having seen the other nurses drool after him for a long time. John had a reputation of being compassionate and handsome as well as single. When she began working in the ER, John always seemed to have time for her questions, no matter how silly they were.



He was a good teacher. She'd learned so much about patient care from him. She smiled, her face against his back when she thought about the time he brought in the laryngoscope and walked her through the process. She remembered the night he came up to talk to her on the roof after she lost her first elderly patient. He was so sweet but that night didn't turn out to be one she wanted to remember.



Then she saw him injecting into his wrist. He had no idea how hard it was for her to say anything. She admired him so much but was shocked and mortified to see him doing that to himself. Then he was gone. She assumed he was fired.



Every few weeks, she'd hear his name mentioned, mostly by Kerry, Benton or Chen. But his name was always said in a whisper.



Then there he was, sitting at Doc Magoo's, looking better than ever, thinner but the light had returned to his eyes. He even asked her to sit down. And he was apologetic. By this time, she had learned he had not been fired but had been sent to rehab. She had been on pins and needles, expecting him to hate her and he was apologizing. Abby thought she'd fallen in love with him right there, over an ice cream sundae but he was just back from rehab and she knew from personal experience that now was not the time to seek out a relationship.



But here he was now, in her arms, in her life and in her heart. This was where she wanted to be and no matter how hard their future was or how many obstacles they had to get around. This was where she was going to stay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~



John woke with a jerk. He looked around, his eyes having a hard time focusing in the dark. He could feel his entire body shaking, trembling and he felt nauseous. He had always had a rather sensitive stomach. Quickly, but carefully so he didn't wake Abby, he sprinted to the bathroom just before he threw up.



Once he had emptied the meager contents in his stomach, he slowly stood up and looked in the shattered mirror. His body was still trembling, not having the control to stop it. He ran some cold water across his face and again examined his reflection in the slivers of glass that remained. He could tell he was on something. He'd done this same thing too many times in the past to forget this feeling. Slowly the memories, vague as they were came back to his mind. His head felt like it would explode. He remembered the reason the mirror was broken and remembered Veronica wanting to help him. She kept talking so calmly. He looked at his bandaged hand and he remembered the voices.



"Oh, God." He said quietly sinking slowly to the floor, his legs unable to hold his weight. He'd done it again. Abby had been crying. Veronica playing therapist. She'd done something, he just couldn't remember what.



After what seemed like hours, but were really only minutes he slowly picked himself up off the floor. His throat felt like sandpaper. He needed water. As quietly as he could, he opened the door and saw Brandon and Veronica sitting on the sofa, talking quietly. They looked up at him.



"You two are up late." He croaked, trying to find his voice. He smiled sheepishly and pointed to his throat and mouthed 'water'. They both nodded, watching him go to the kitchen. He pulled out a bottle and downed almost the entire thing before he took another breath. It felt as if he hadn't had a drink for weeks. His hand throbbed and he was cold. He took a clean dishrag from the drawer, wet it under the tap, and wrung out the excess. He walked over to the couch opposite his guests and carefully sat down, leaning his head back, and applied the rag to his forehead.



"Headache?" He could hear Brandon ask. John grunted. He could feel both of them looking at him and he just didn't care. This was his apartment. If they wanted privacy, they could go to the guest room.



After several minutes of uncomfortable silence, he spoke.



"What am I on?" He asked, keeping his head back.



"Ativan," Veronica stated, "Kerry brought them over," She added.





"Hmm," he grunted. "That explains the headache." He said quietly, "I don't even remember you giving them to me." He closed his eyes for a moment.



"So, I'm assuming you didn't plant the idea for me to howl at the moon at midnight, huh?" He tried half-heartedly to make light. He heard Brandon chuckle slightly.



"I was able to put you under and yes, it worked quite well," Veronica said in her calm, professional voice.



"And you learned?" John asked, hating the condescendence he heard in the therapist's voice.



"I learned that we've got a long way to go," she finally said honestly.



John laughed sarcastically, "I don't think so. That stuff has been in there for a long time and that's where it can stay." He stated clearly.



Veronica felt emotionally drained as she got up and went to the guest room. She was in no mood to argue with John. If he didn't want her help then there was nothing that she could do about it.



"Nope, tomorrow I go back to living my life normally," he said, watching Veronica walk out.



"Can you do that, John?" Brandon asked. "Can you just forget that today ever happened?"



"I can try," John said.



"Until the next time you lose it." Brandon took more of an authoritative tone.



"I'll deal with that when the time comes," he stated, feeling disgusted with himself. Veronica leaving the room bothered him. Brandon stood abruptly and he walked in front of John, towering over him. John looked up. "What?" John asked, annoyed.



"That young lady, Abby is worried sick about you. Roni is sure she can help you. Okay, so I know you don't care about yourself but what about all the people that care about you?" He sat next to John, taking John's face in his hands. "She loves you, baby. You've got to figure this out for her and for you." Brandon melted as John closed his eyes, relaxing against his touch.



"You're right, I'm sorry," John whispered. Brandon pulled him against his chest and they lay back against the couch.



"Kerry was here?" John asked.



"Yes, John. Kerry was here."

~~~~~~~~~~~~



Abby woke to the feeling of fingers running across her forehead and down her cheek. She smiled.



"Good morning," She said. John kissed her nose.



"Good morning." He whispered. Again Abby smelled the mint and giggled.



"You cheated again." She smiled, still sleepy. He held the mint out on his tongue. He'd just put it in his mouth and it was still almost whole so Abby had an idea of her own. She leaned up on her elbow, bent forward and brought her mouth down on his, opening his lips with her tongue and finding the mint.



He moaned as he deepened the kiss, pulling her on top of his outstretched body, his hands running down to her hips and across her back. Their tongues tangled as they passed the mint back and forth between them, tasting, and touching deeper.



"Oh, God, John." Abby heard herself moan as he pulled her against his body, pressing her hips against his. He rolled her over and began frantically kissing her mouth, her neck and down to her breasts. His hands were everywhere, rubbing, touching, and pleasing. She felt herself arch her back, pressing her breast against his hungry mouth, crying out his name.



"John, oh, God," she moaned. His hands quickly lifted her camisole, releasing bare skin for his tasting. She quickly pulled it off and his hands replaced the materials as his mouth moved lower. Her hips were bucking in anticipation, her body needing to feel him. He pressed her thighs apart, separating her center for him. His mouth kissed her through her pajama pants, the material quickly soaked through. His hands pulled the flannel down over her hips. The second they were down enough to allow touch, he attacked with his tongue.



"Oh, shit!" She gasped as her hips bucked up wildly. He pulled the pants off her legs and greedily lapped at her pond.



"Oh, Abby." She heard him mumble as he ran his tongue between her folds, tasting her syrup.



Abby wanted him to eat her, to suck her, to be in her. She needed him inside her, completely, thrusting. She began to pull him back up her body, to which he gave no protest. He kissed and licked his way back up to her mouth by way of her stomach and each breast. They both panted as their lips entwined.



Abby's hand reached down and she took his hardness into it, wrapping her hand firmly around its width, guiding it to where she needed him. John kissed and licked her mouth and her face, groaning with her handiwork.



"I need you in my life, Abby. I love you." He whispered desperately into her ear as he allowed her to guide him to her core.



"Oh, God, John!" She moaned, thrusting hard to meet his flesh. He met her with a matched urgency, thrusting as far into her body as he could go. Their equal desire was demanding, beseeching, and primal.



"I've never needed anyone like I need you, Abby," he cried softly into her ear, grasping onto her as he thrust.



"I love you, John," she cried back, digging her nails into his skin. Their moans of pleasure filled the room and their sweat mixed and combined against their skins.



"Oh, fuck!!" John said, feeling his climax rushing through his body. He pressed his head against the pillow next to her head, gritting his teeth.



"Its okay, John, come for me," Abby whispered, feeling him slow down. He shook his head defiantly.



"No. Not until . ." He started but Abby tightened and thrust upwards. He groaned.



"I want you to come first. Please…come first," she begged. He still shook his head.



"I can't." He managed, his whole body tensing. "You," he whispered hoarsely.



Abby needed him to climax so badly. She needed him to accept the pleasure for himself and not worry about her for a change. She squeezed herself tightly as she took over the thrusting, holding his hips tightly against her. He tried to pull back but she wouldn't allow it.



"Abby, please!" He begged, tasting blood in his own mouth. He'd bitten through his own lip. Abby reached down and located his chest, beginning to rub against a stiff nipple as her hips moved faster.



"Come for me," she urged, listening to his sharp breathing. "I want to feel you inside me. I need you, John Carter. I need for you to come for me!" She begged.



Suddenly, he began to pulsate into her body, shooting time and time again into her depths, filling her. Abby held him tightly.



"Oh, God," he cried. Abby felt his total release, giving of himself, draining everything he had. He collapsed on top of her, totally and completely spent.



After several minutes, Abby could feel his heart begin to slow down. He slowly began kissing her neck, still together. He began to pull away, kissing her shoulder but she held him tight.



"Don't," she whispered, holding him inside her. "Don't move. Stay in me."



"But I can't…. It won't…." He said, kissing her neck again.



"Just relax and lie here with me," she said, still holding him close.



"But you didn't."



"I didn't have to. That was the most incredible experience I have ever had with anyone. I have never met anyone who makes love the way you do. I never knew it could be so complete making love to someone else. You are the most beautiful man I have ever met," she stated, smiling yet tears were coming out of her eyes for the emotion she felt for this man. He kissed each cheek, one for each tear path.



"I love you, Abby Lockhart."



"I love you, John Carter. I always have."



"I always will."



To be continued…………
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