12-A River in Egypt
Early the next morning John woke to Maura snuggled up in between him and Dave. Apparently, she had managed to climb up onto the bed and underneath the covers without waking either one of them. Needing to use the bathroom, he slipped out from under the covers, thankful that he at least had on a pair of boxers.
He contemplated whether or not it was worth it to go back to bed and try to get another couple hours of sleep or if he should just get up.
John thought he heard someone wandering the halls so he decided to go see whom else was up. He put on a pair of sweats, an old T-shirt and his slippers. He grabbed his bathrobe and headed down stairs. He was a bit surprised to find his mom in the kitchen.
"I didn't wake you, did I?" Eleanor asked him as she turned off the whistling kettle. He sleepily shook his head.
"Late shift," he answered, his voice still deep from sleep.
"I'm sorry," Eleanor tried to be cheerful.
"Na, had to get up in two hours anyway." He reached for a cup, still not fully awake.
Eleanor watched as John grabbed a cup and poured it full of coffee. "You don't drink coffee." She remarked.
"Actually, I do." John answered, sitting at the counter wondering if he should have just stayed in bed.
"I distinctly remember you hating coffee." She exclaimed. He pulled a carton of milk from the refrigerator and poured some in his cup.
"Maybe when I was 15." He scoffed.
"It wasn't that long ago." She replied. John tossed his spoon on the counter as he sat down.
"What would you like for breakfast?" She asked. John laughed in disbelief.
"You're offering to cook?" John questioned, gulping down a mouthful of coffee.
"Momentary weakness, take advantage." She smiled sweetly at him.
"All right, eggs." He accepted her offer, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He was still sleepy but knew that it wasn't worth trying to go back to bed.
"Have you spoken to your father recently?" Eleanor asked curiously as she took the eggs from the refrigerator.
"Uh yeah, he called a couple days ago," John answered as he looked up at her.
"Where's he staying?" She continued fishing around for information concerning her husband.
"He rented a place on Michigan." John stated.
"Scrambled?" She asked as she cracked the eggs into a bowl.
"Whatever." He really didn't care at that point.
"Do you have his number?" She asked. He nodded his head.
"Yeah." He said, and then realized she was waiting for an answer to something he seemed to have missed. "What?"
"He didn't give it to me." She told him.
"I'm sure that he intends to." He realized that his father probably withheld it for a reason.
"Did he say something?" She asked suspiciously. John was getting rather uncomfortable and didn't want to answer any more of her questions.
"Maybe you should just let it sit for a while." He suggested as he sipped his coffee.
"Actually, I was hoping that you would call him for me." She asked.
"Sure, or better yet the three of us could dip ourselves in a vat of acid." John stated sarcastically. He had no desire to get in the middle of their problem.
"We made mistakes, John. I made mistakes, I know. But I don't think that it's too late to fix it." Eleanor reached for a kitchen towel to wipe her hands.
He wanted no part of that conversation and was glad for the interruption when Dave brought Maura down for breakfast.
"Good morning, Sweetie." He picked her up and gave her a tight squeeze before sitting her on a stool next to him. "Getting ready for school?"
"Yeah, and Daddy is going to take me." She nodded merrily.
"Good morning, John." Dave leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. John blushed as he noticed his mother watching them.
"Would you like some eggs?" Eleanor interrupted with a smile.
"Yes, please." Dave exclaimed pouring himself a cup of coffee and sitting at the counter on the other side of Maura.
"No, thank you. I want Fruity Pebbles, please." Maura squirmed in her seat.
"Okay, I think I can manage that." Eleanor went to the cupboard for the cereal.
~~~~~~~~
The ER had been relatively busy all day, which only served to make the time go by faster. One of John's patients was a rapper, named Diamond, who tested positive for Chlamydia. He came in with a girlfriend who had split her lip. Abby had taken her to have it checked out. In the meanwhile, Diamond's buddy C. C. asked John if he could also be tested. After finding out that Diamond had contracted Chlamydia from C. C. who also had HIV, John elicited Abby's help to draw blood for and HIV test.
Abby had been a bit confused by the slang that the guys used, but even more curious by the fact that John seemed to understand it. John and Abby left the room.
"I've got a lunch." He checked his watch. "Just page me if he gets that number." He asked her, still needing to contact Diamond's girlfriend.
"So� down-low is bi-sexual?" Abby asked, confused at the terminology.
"No. On the side, it's secret." John found himself explaining while he signed off on his charts.
"In the closet?" She asked, more confused than before.
"No. To be in the closet, you have to be gay." He came back.
"He is gay." Abby stated as if she believed it to be fact.
"C. C. is gay. Diamond is on the down-low." John explained.
"Well if he's having anal sex with his friend he's gay." Abby seemed to not understand the difference.
"Not to him, he has a girlfriend. He just sort of gets down with his buddy for release." He answered, trying to clarify it.
"So down-low means denial?" Abby asked.
"Yeah, basically." John stated as they both went their separate ways.
~~~~~~~~
A few minutes later Abby caught up with John in the lounge.
He was getting ready to leave to meet his father for lunch. He was hanging his lab coat in his locker and trading it for his overcoat.
Abby walked in and leaned against the locker next to his and asked him. "So� Carter�. How do you know all this stuff?" She smiled mischievously.
At first, John turned to her, smiling, ready to explain exactly how he had understood but then he decided it wasn't the best time for this. He chuckled to himself. "I'll tell you some other time." He looked at his watch, indicating that he was running late, as he turned to leave.
Abby followed him outside and teasingly asked him. "You're not going to tell me 'you're on the down-low' are you, Carter?" She snickered.
"No!" He felt himself blush as he realized that this would have been the perfect time to tell Abby his little secret if he hadn't already had other plans. "Abby, I promise, I'm not on the 'down-low'. What I am is very late. I'll be back in a bit." He continued walking towards the parking garage, hoping that she would not follow him.
Seeing him pick up his pace and walk away from her, made Abby rather curious as to what he would later tell her about all this. She was definitely going to find out.
~~~~~~~~
John arrived at the airport lounge a bit late. He pulled off his scarf and tapped his father on the shoulder. He knew that he would find him at the bar.
"Sorry, I was looking for a place to park." John explained as he took off his overcoat.
"You want a drink? I'm boarding. I should be boarding now." Jack sat back for another moment, putting his tickets back into his pocket.
"Oh, no, thank," John answered. His father still didn't seem to realize that he no longer drank.
"So what's so urgent?" Jack asked.
"Nothing really, just checking in." John hung his coat on the back of the chair and sat down. "So how's the new place?"
"Sparsely furnished, but there's something to be said for that." Jack sipped on his glass of Scotch.
"For sparseness." John smiled.
"Clarity. If I'd known your mother was moving into the house I would have taken some of the New York furniture." Jack added.
"Yeah, she mentioned to me that she doesn't have your new number." John said as he popped a few peanuts in his mouth. He had expected to have lunch and was hungry. "You should give her a call and check in."
"Why?" Jack asked.
"You're married to her." John answered, hoping that his father would at least try to talk with his mother.
"She wants to negotiate. I don't know when she started looking at life the way other people look at the stock reports but it's over." Jack stated.
"I don't think that she shares that assessment." John added.
"So you're her ambassador now." Jack asked.
"Noooo, I'm just suggesting that you take time and make sure this is what you want." John offered his advice.
"I do, thanks to you." Jack looked towards John.
"Me?" John looked surprised.
"I was part of this lie, this illusion, we were living in order to hold it together. It took losing dad and what you said to see that I was lost. Can't find my way back with her." Jack gulped down his drink.
"I don't know, I've never ever seen her reach out like this before." John shook his head as he tried to sound positive.
"That's my flight." Jack got up and gathered up his coat as he heard the announcement. "Careful, John, she's an emotional vampire." Jack said as he walked away.
John just sat for a few more minutes contemplating the fact that his father seemed set in his endeavor. It seemed strange that after all the years that they had been together that their marriage would end like this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After John returned to work, Abby noticed that John was avoiding her like the plague. Whenever she was in a situation with him he just acted very professional and found some excuse to ditch her. Towards the end of his shift she found him finishing up some chart reviews in the suture room.
"So did you hear about Dr. Weaver?" Abby asked him, knowing that he was out of the hospital while Sandy was there.
"Yeah." John got up and started gathering up his charts. He really just wanted to get out of there and go home.
"Carter, you have been avoiding me ever since you came back from lunch." She watched him as he fumbled with the charts, dropping one onto the floor.
"Abby, uhh. We need to talk, but not here. Can you come by the house tomorrow afternoon?" John asked as he managed to get all his charts picked up and headed towards the admit desk to check out for the day.
"I'm off at 3 o'clock tomorrow, I'll drop by after my sift." She announced.
"That'll be perfect." He finished putting his charts away and headed for the lounge.
Abby had never seen John act so uncomfortable around her before.
~~~~~~~~
John came home to find his mother had been drinking and was upset over a young cancer patient she had met at the cancer center where she had recently been volunteering. After coming home she had gotten in the middle of an argument between Millicent and her physical therapist which ended with Millicent asking her to leave the house.
Eleanor had proceeded to take a couple of Xanax washed down with a 40-year-old bottle of Bordeaux that had been sent to Millicent as a get well present.
John had finally managed to get his mother to her room. He had sat with her on the floor of the bathroom as she puked her guts out, and then cried about how she had failed her children. It seemed that she was finally accepting the reality of the fact that Jack was divorcing her. Also, she was facing the fact that she had neglected John all those years and it weighed very heavily on her.
~~~~~~~~
John had taken a shower and went downstairs to find something to eat. He told Corrine earlier not to bother with making dinner.
"Please, just take care of Gamma." John had requested.
Seeing Eleanor's drunken state, Corrine went about preparing something for Millicent and retired to her own quarters for the evening.
John made himself a sandwich, grabbed a bag of chips and a soda, and headed upstairs to his living room. He was kicking back on the couch, eating his dinner and watching TV, when Dave and Maura arrived home.
"We went ice-skating today and then Daddy took me to get pizza." Maura knelt on the couch next to him.
John finished his sandwich and placed the empty plate on the coffee table. He reached over and took Maura into him arms and sat her on his lap.
"Did you have fun?" He asked her. Ever since he had taught her how, ice-skating had become one of her favorite past-times.
"Yeah, but I wish you could have gone with us." She leaned her head against him.
"Was that your dinner? Dave asked, sitting on the couch across from him. "I guess I should have brought you some pizza."
"Yeah, well I'll tell you about it later." John tilted his head towards Maura, indicating that he would rather not talk about it in front of her.
Dave clearly understood the gesture, changing the subject. "So what are you watching?"
"I don't know, some sappy movie. I wasn't really paying attention." John yawned as he held Maura close to his chest.
Dave picked up Maura to take her in to give her a bath. Noticing the dark circles under his eyes, he patted John on his cheek and said, "you should go to bed John, you look beat."
~~~~~~~~
The next afternoon, Abby had arrived at 3:30, as planned. Henry brought her up to the living room. John explained to Dave that she would be coming over and that he needed to tell her about the two of them. They arranged for Kathryn to take Maura out for the afternoon so they could have some privacy with Abby.
"Excuse me sir, your guest is here." Henry spoke to Dave, who was lying on the couch flipping through the channels. "Can I get you anything?"
"Come on in, Abby. Would you like something to drink?" Dave greeted her as he got up and offered her a seat on the couch across from him. "John will be out in a minute."
"Club Soda or Ginger Ale, please." She addressed Henry.
"And a couple of Cokes, thank you." Dave added before Henry left.
"I wasn't expecting you to be here." Abby was surprised to see Dave. She thought that it was strange to hear Dave call Carter, John. "So what have you been up to these days?" She asked, trying to make conversation.
"A lot really, I got a job over at Northwestern, and I love it." Dave grinned. "I have my daughter back and I'm living here with John."
"Here, as in this house?" She asked him as she looked around the place. "Wow, you have been busy."
"Yeah it's great. Maura has her own room and she just loves John." He carried on cheerfully.
"Maura, that's your daughter?" John emerged from the bedroom just as Abby asked that. She half expected him to sit on the couch next to her, but he sat next to Dave instead.
"Hi, Abby, glad you could make it." He sat silent for a moment, thinking about where to start.
Abby was thinking that he was stalling because Dave was still there. Henry returned with their drinks and placed them in the center of the coffee table.
"Thanks." John took his Coke and sipped it. He cleared his throat and tried to begin. "This is not going to be easy, Abby." He paused. "I have been wanting to talk to you for a long time, but I just wasn't sure how to tell you about this."
"It might be easier for us to talk if Dave wasn't here." She suggested. "No offense, Dave."
"None taken. John do you want me to leave?" He asked. "She might be right you know, it might be easier if I wasn't here."
"No, Dave, please, I want you to stay." John moved closer and took Dave's hand, which sort of surprised Dave. Abby furrowed her brow as she suddenly realized what was going on.
"Oh my, God. You two are�.are�.together�.uh�.as�..a�..couple." She laughed in disbelief.
Both John and Dave blushed a deep crimson as John buried his face in his hands.
"But I don't understand, I mean, how long?" She had so many questions she didn't even know where to begin. Suddenly she noticed the rings that they each wore. "You two aren't actually married are you?" She had to ask.
"We know it's not really legal but we'd like to think so. We've been together for quite a while actually, but it's only recently that we started getting serious." Dave tried to get things started when he noticed that John seemed a bit tongue-tied.
Taking another sip of his Coke, John tried to explain. "We just started out as really good friends and started going out casually. We spent the holidays together a couple of years ago and things just progressed from there."
"A couple of years?" Abby asked in amazement.
"We would go out drinking, picking up chicks, maybe go to dinner or a movie." Dave stepped in again." Sometimes we would end up staying the night at one or the other's apartment.
"But nothing ever happened until after I returned from Atlanta." John again entered the conversation. " I was still pretty messed up about going out on dates because of my scars. Dave and I picked up where we left off as friends and he kept encouraging me to go out."
After a brief pause, John continued on. "Then one night we found these two girls at this night club, they wanted to have a foursome. I hadn't had sex for like 8 months. No way was I going to turn that down. I figured that if Dave was willing, which he was, then yeah, I was going to go for it."
"So we ended up in this hotel room, all four of us having sex together. They gave us their phone numbers and told us that they wanted to get together and do it again sometime." Dave shared. " We did go out with them a few more times after that. They wanted *us* to do stuff, but we kept telling them that we weren't into that.
John joined back in. "Then, on New Years Eve last year we crashed this party at the Hilton and at midnight we found ourselves alone together and I kissed him."
"Alone in a room full of strangers." Dave giggled. "It was pretty innocent and playful at first until I kissed him back. Then we ended up back at my place in my bed, nothing serious, just kissing and hand jobs.
"God, Dave," John blushed and almost choked on his soda. "I don't think she needs to hear details." He reprimanded as he shot Dave a frightful glare.
"Oh yes, do tell, Dave, I want to hear every sorted detail." Abby laughed, as she made herself more comfortable on the couch. She knew that this was really embarrassing John, and was really enjoying it for some odd reason.
"I think you are having a bit too much fun." John snarled. "I'm not sure we should tell you anything else."
"Oh, come on John, I'll be good, I promise." She effortlessly tried to wipe the grin of her face.
"After that, our two friends started getting a bit more of a show until they moved to California. Dave and I continued dating separately but would end up together quite frequently.
"John, what about Rena and last May, what you said?" Abby suddenly got very serious.
"You, Abby are the only woman that I ever thought I had anything to worry about." Dave stated in mocked jealously. He was, however, partially serious.
"Rena was fun. She was just another chick that enjoyed bedding two men, but she had been the last." John added. "But you, that was different. For a long time you were the only person I could really talk too. Dave always tried to get me to open up to him, but I just couldn't for some reason."
"The night we went to that charity ball, that was when I first thought that I was in love with you. I knew that you were with Luka and you seemed to be happy, at least back then I thought so. I certainly never wanted to be the cause of your splitting up. But the more I got to know you, the more I came to realize that you two really were not all that happy together." John was getting a lot more serious.
"It hurt me a lot to see you two together knowing that he wasn't ever really there for you. That day in May when you started talking about Luka, I felt like he was breaking your heart. I would have done anything to have you, to be with you, to hold you and tell you how much you meant to me. But when you acted like you didn't even have a clue as to what I was trying to say, I was so hurt that I had to just get away." He had been so wrapped up in telling her all of this he hadn't even noticed the tears threatening to fall from her eyes.
"I am so sorry, Abby I never wanted to hurt you." He got up and sat with her, holding her hand in his. "I went home to Dave, I had sort of been living with him ever since after we went to Oklahoma. I started to realize that Dave was the only person that I had ever been with that continued to stick with me through everything I went through. I found myself opening up to him and sharing things that I had never shared with anyone. Including things that I had never shared even with you. I began to see that all this time it had been Dave all along that I was in love with.
"I already knew that no matter what ever happened, I never wanted to be without John." Dave added.
"After that, you and I seemed to drift apart. I thought it was because you didn't want me. In the meantime Dave and I just got closer and closer, until this New Year's Eve we exchanged rings and vows." John was still sitting with Abby holding her hands in his.
"That night by the river when you tried to tell me that you wanted to be with me, I wanted so much to tell you why I couldn't, but I had promised Dave that I would never tell anyone without his knowledge. I could not break that promise to him, especially not with you." John replied.
"I just thought that you had already started something up with Susan, and didn't want to tell me about it." Abby explained. "By the way, what about Susan? Does she know?" Abby asked curiously.
"She sort of found out by accident." John began to tell her about how Susan had stopped by unexpectedly and walked in on the two of them kissing under the Christmas tree.
"I thought people kissed under the mistletoe?" Abby teased. They all laughed at her remark as they began talking about other things. The boys were telling her all about Maura and they invited her to stay for dinner so she could meet her.
"I just have one question for you guys." Abby seemed a bit hesitant at first as she noticed them both waiting for her to continue. "Would you still be interested in a little female fun sometime, maybe?"
"Are you serious?" Dave exclaimed a little too excitedly. He flashed John a wicked grin and nodded his approval.
"Whoa, wait a minute." John responded rather indifferently. "I'm not so sure that would be a very good idea."
"John, sometimes I think that you're just plain nuts." Dave stated sarcastically.
"Yes, I'm serious, and John, you are nuts, but maybe you just need a little time to think about it." She leaned towards him and kissed him square on the lips. Dave giggled in delight as he watched John respond to her. He was getting hard just watching them and he could see that John was getting hard also.
Abby held out her hand towards Dave inviting him to come join them. He sat next to her as she turned and knelt on the couch between them. She leaned over and started to kiss Dave as her hand began to trail down John's chest. His head rested on the back of the couch and he moaned softly as her hand continued its journey south. She was still kissing Dave when she reached down to cup his erection.
Suddenly, John got to his feet. "I'm sorry, I can't do this� I just can't Abby." John sat down on the opposite couch. He buried his face in his hands to hide the shame he felt.
Dave got up and knelt down in front of John. "God, I'm sorry, John I should have listened to you, not just what you said but what I know is in your heart." He leaned close to John and pulled him near, kissing him with all the passion that he had in him.
"I know that you have wanted to be with Abby for a very long time and denying yourself that is not going to make those feelings go away. I just thought that maybe if we did this together that you would feel okay about it." Dave tried to reassure him that he did nothing wrong.
"I know, it's just that I thought that we had agreed that we weren't going to do this anymore." John felt so confused that he just wanted to run and hide.
Abby came over and sat next to him and took his hand in hers. "John, I'm really sorry. I never meant this to hurt you. I do love you and I understand if you can't love me back. But I do want to be with you, with both of you, and I want you to know that this is not just some sick game for me."
"I'm just not sure that I can deal with this right now." John explained, a bit embarrassed that he allowed thing to get so out of control.
They had all agreed that John just needed some time to think about the possibility and not wanting to push or make him feel anymore uncomfortable than he already did, they decided to change the subject and go back to their friendly conversation.
As they sat back and began to relax once more, Kathryn came in with Maura. It was already 5:30 and dinner would be served in half an hour.
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