------------------------------- Chapter Three: Here, Tonight -------------------------------
Are you going to live your life wondering
Standing in the back, looking around?
Are you going to waste your time thinking
How you've grown up, how you've missed out?
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"And I am outta here!" Dave said, signing off his last chart with a flourish. It was a little after nine - nine-ten to be exact, Dave thought as he glanced at the clock above the admin desk - and he was all set and ready to leave. "Later, guys," he said to no one in particular. "*I* have a date."
"Yeah, right," Randi snorted, not glancing up from the computer she was working on. "With who? Carter?"
Dave grinned, but it vanished as soon as his ear picked up on a too familiar sound. Ambulance sirens. An ambulance was approaching - make that several ambulances. He caught Abby's eye, and they glanced at the clock-out at the same moment, and then suddenly sprinted for it. They were both off at nine, and no way in hell was either going to stay for this trauma if they could help it.
They raced to the end of the hall, and Abby actually pushed him to get there first. He stumbled but did not fall, and quickly regained his balance. They reached the clock-out at the same time, and he wrapped an arm around her and picked her up, holding her away from it.
"Let go!" she yelled as he managed to use his other hand to grab his punch-out card. She kicked him in the shin, and he let her go in surprise with a yelp, falling right on his butt.
"Dave! Abby!" Weaver yelled, fast approaching, wearing a trauma gown and gloves.
Abby clocked out, and then turned to him with a snicker as he sat on the floor, rubbing his shin. "Ha. See you later, Dave."
"I had a date!" he yelled to her, and then a trauma gown was dropped on him. He pulled it off of his head and stood, brushing himself off. Great. Just fucking great. If there was any chance that Carter was waiting out there, it had totally just vanished in a puff of smoke.
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Things are never going to be the way you want
Where's it going to get you acting serious?
Things are never going to be quite what you want
Even at twenty-five, you got to start sometime
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Dave clocked out with a sigh, holding his jacket in the crook of his elbow and his backpack tossed over his shoulder. It was twelve midnight, and he had finally finished the trauma. He had been elbow deep in a poor girl's chest for almost two hours, trying to save her life by pumping her heart himself, but it wouldn't fill with blood because of a hole underneath. By the time he and his trauma partner, Dr. Corday, had figured that out, it had been too late. She had crashed and almost immediately gone asystole.
All for nothing, he thought bitterly. And all because of a stupid drunk who couldn't think enough to take a cab home from the bar he'd been to, now a girl was dead. The only fatality of the whole pileup. And of course, with Dave's luck he had to have been the one to get the trauma case. It'd be really nice right now, he thought, if he had someone to go home to and be there for him after rough days like this one when he felt so alone.
He pulled his jacket on, preparing for the cold - and not to mention lonely - ride home on his bike, and walked to the ER doors, bidding goodnight to the nightshift. He walked outside, feeling the terribly bitter wind brushing against his face harshly. Mother Nature wasn't going to be very kind tonight; he was going to have a frozen ass by the time he got home.
He turned to the bike rack, and was startled when he saw that his blue bicycle wasn't there. Where the hell had it gone? Oh, this was *so* just his day. He sighed, scanning the ambulance bay for the person who might've stolen his precious ride home when he noticed a black Jeep Wrangler parked across the street in front of Doc Magoo's.
And he was just plain surprised when he saw that his precious ride home was hitched to the back of it.
Then he smiled as he crossed the ambulance bay.
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I'm on my feet, I'm on the floor, I'm good to go
And all I need is just to hear a song I know
I want to always feel like part of this was mine
I want to fall in love tonight
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Carter sat in his Jeep, looking at the different people sitting inside Doc Magoo's, almost studying them. They seemed so normal; he wondered what kind of abnormalities they possessed. He wondered what kind of problems they faced when they arrived to work, when they arrived home from work. Carter could see that that female nurse obviously flirting with the male doctor sitting across from her had a wedding ring on; he could see it glinting in the light. And he could see when the male doctor moved his hands while he talked, he didn't have one on. Was she happily married? Was she a naturally flirty person? He knew a girl in high school like that once.
He sighed, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as a Jimmy Eat World song came onto the local rock station that he always listened to. He glanced at the clock. It was already a few minutes after twelve. He had seen that whole herd of ambulances come, and knew that Dave had probably been forced to stay. He could've left when he had the chance.
So why was he still here, sitting in the freezing cold Jeep, with Dave Malucci's bike hitched to the back of it?
A sudden tap on the window startled him out of his thoughts. No turning back now. He unlocked the car, and the door opened and Dave hopped in.
Should he say something? Should he mention the kiss? Should he let Dave say something first? He decided on silence. If Dave wanted to say something, somehow Carter knew he would. Dave wasn't one to keep his mouth shut.
Carter started his Jeep and put it into the right gear, and began to pull out of his parking space, not daring to say a word, hoping that Dave would break the silence before it became too uncomfortable. He soon did. "You've changed."
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Are you going to live your life
Standing in the back looking around?
Are you going to waste your time?
Got to make a move or you'll miss out
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Carter suddenly stopped short. He looked at the younger resident. "What?"
"You've changed," he said, looking at him with a smile. Carter only returned his smile with a black stare. "Your clothes. You've changed your clothes."
"Oh!" Carter said, feeling absolutely foolish. "Yeah, I didn't want to go to a bar in a suit..." He started onto the road again, wondering what exactly he had been thinking when Dave had told him that he had changed. He decided not to ponder on it, that he didn't really want to right now. "Do you want to stop by your place and change before you go?"
He seemed to think for a moment. "Nah," he decided, then grinned. "Scrubs might impress the ladies."
Boy, Carter thought, this was going to be one interesting night.
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Someone's going to ask you what it's all about
Stick around nostalgia won't let you down
Someone's going to ask you what it's all about
What are you going to have to say for yourself?
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Dave sat back leisurely in his seat at a table inside the bar, cradling his beer lazily in his left hand, his legs spread and his eyes wandering over the crowd of bodies gathered inside, some dancing on the floor, some drinking at the bar, some eating at tables, some flirting, some keeping to themselves. This bar was known for harboring every type of person in Chicago: from rich to poor, young to old, radical to average, straight to gay, beautiful to ugly, foreign to native.
Just his type of bar.
Stealing a glance at his companion, he could tell that Carter was comfortable here. Almost everyone was because it was a mixed crowd where everyone went to escape, sometimes from the outside world and sometimes from themselves. You could be anyone you wanted to be here - anyone at all - and nobody cared.
"You know those things will kill you," Dave said as Carter lit a cigarette. Dave hadn't known that the senior resident smoked, but just because you were a doctor and knew all of the risks didn't mean that you'd actually listen to them. He knew that he didn't.
"You'd make an excellent doctor," Carter said with a grin, and then took in a slow drag. He held out the pack to Dave. "Would you like one?"
Dave shook his head as he took a drink, and then swallowed the cheap beer. "I don't smoke. Used to, but not anymore. I quit before I came to Chicago."
"When did you start?" Carter asked. The conversation during the night had been very easy, and even surprisingly enjoyable. Dave had turned out to be quite an interesting guy, with hobbies ranging from boxing to mountain biking to skydiving. Carter hadn't done any of those things - and didn't intend to - but he had his share of stories to tell. He was genuinely having a good time tonight, which was something that rarely happened. He had been so wrapped up in his career and his family that he never took the time to have a guy's night out, and it had been exactly what he needed.
"Back in Grenada," Dave said after giving it some thought. He caught a leggy blonde's eye, who was sitting on the other side of the bar, and she smiled at him flirtatiously. Uninterested, he smiled back politely, and turned away from her, facing Carter now. He seemed to think for a moment. "You want to go someplace more private?"
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I'm on my feet, I'm on the floor, I'm good to go
And all I need is just to hear a song I know
I want to always feel like part of this was mine
I want to fall in love tonight
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"What do you mean?" Carter asked cautiously, his eyes narrowing. He glanced at the blonde who had smiled at Dave. On any other night Carter would've thought that Dave would've jumped to take her back to his place, but tonight was ending up to be an unusual night, so he wasn't surprised. Maybe it was the full moon, Carter thought. Or maybe I've been sucked into an alternate universe.
"It's too crowded in here," Dave said casually. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet, placing down a ten on the table to cover for the beers that he'd consumed so far. Carter had just drunk sodas, and Dave had wondered why, but knew it wasn't his business to ask. It was too personal a question, and Dave wasn't sure if they were even *friends*. "Let's go back to my place for some real beer." He noticed Carter's wary glance, so he grinned and tried a joke to ease the guy up. "That is - unless you're willing to take David Malucci to the Carter family mansion. I'm sure your folks would just love me."
Pause. "What kind of beer do you have?"
Dave laughed. "That's what I thought."
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Crimson and clover
Over and over
Crimson and clover
Over and over
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Dave opened the two Heinekens, tossed the two bottle caps into the garbage in the corner of the kitchen, and placed one beer in front of Carter. Both sat down at the table across from each other, and Carter took the chance to look around the apartment. There was a living room that was attached to the kitchen nook, and then a hallway that he presumed led to the bedroom and bathroom. The apartment was fairly neat though it was small and visibly worn. It was nicer than what he had expected, even though he didn't know exactly what he had been expecting. Probably a bachelor pad: take-out boxes strewn about, clothes all over the place, a pack of condoms on the end table.
"I don't drink," Carter said, pushing the beer towards Dave. He hoped that Dave didn't ask why, he really did. He didn't like to explain why, he was very ashamed of why. Plus, telling a friend you knew for years that you were a drug addict was very awkward, how was he going to tell a newfound one? "You can have it."
"Okay," Dave just said, then smiled. "I think I have Coke. Do you like Coke? I might have Sprite..."
"Coke's fine," Carter said, and in moments a glass of Coke was sitting in front of him, the extra beer sitting in front of Dave.
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Our house in the middle of the street
Why did we ever meet?
You starred in my rock and roll fantasy
Don't tell me, don't let it start
Why did we ever part?
Kick-start my rock and roll heart
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They kept up conversation, the topic turning to saves in the ER. Carter spoke of his first time using the defibrillators way back when he was in medical school in Cook County General Hospital, and soon the story lead up to the first time Jing-Mei had used the defibrillators.
"She shocked you?!!" Dave asked, laughing so hard tears came to his eyes. He doubled over, his face buried in one hand, his other hand smacking the table. He looked up at Carter, wiping his eyes. "She...I can't believe it. Jing-Mei? She shocked you??"
"It wasn't that funny," Carter grumbled, remembering the day well. He'd woken up a few hours later in an exam room, thinking she'd given him a rectal with Haleh's supervision while he was out cold, and he decided not to tell Dave that, knowing the younger resident would tease him relentlessly for days.
"I'm *so* going to rip on Jing-Mei for that next time I see her," Dave said, still laughing a little. He looked up at Carter, calm now, but soon lost his composure, shaking because he was laughing so hard. Carter rolled his eyes, but found himself smiling at the memory. He had to admit, it *was* kind of funny. Dave finally managed to compose himself, and stay composed. "My first time wasn't nearly as..." - a small snicker - "drastic. I was monitoring this old guy who had end stage lung cancer, and he just crashed. The resident that had me as her student let me use the paddles on him, and he came back with one jolt. It was the most awesome experience I ever had in my life. Just...bringing this guy back to life."
"He didn't have a DNR?" Carter asked. He had felt similar the first time he had saved a patient in the ER; knowing you had the ability to bring someone back from the dead was almost surreal.
"His family didn't want to let him go," Dave stated almost sadly. "They signed a DNR after the first time he crashed. He died later that night." Dave took another sip from the bottle in front of him, and Carter followed suit, watching Dave as he was lost in thought. Dave smiled wryly. "I think that's when I started smoking."
Carter couldn't help but laugh. He shook his head, keeping his smile as he stood to get more Coke from the fridge. He realized Dave had finished both of his beers. Damn. The guy could really put them away.
"Want another?" Carter asked, opening the refrigerator door.
"Sure, why not?"
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I'm on my feet, I'm on the floor, I'm good to go
So come on, Davey, sing me something that I know
I want to always feel like part of this was mine
I want to fall in love tonight (here, tonight)
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Carter pushed some orange juice and milk out of the way, but didn't find the beer. He searched the next shelf, which contained mustard, mayonnaise, bread, and other things such as that, but didn't find it there either. He turned to look at the resident, who was sitting at the table, slightly amused.
"Where do you keep the beer?" Carter asked, turning around to look in the fridge again.
"Here, I'll get it," Dave said from behind him. He felt Dave place his hands on his waist, and Carter stood, whirling around to face him. Dave held up his hands with a grin at Carter's expression. "Just trying to get past you."
Dave leaned over into the fridge and pulled out another beer. Keeping that smile, he closed the refrigerator and faced Carter. What am I *doing* here? Carter thought to himself. Why am I standing inside another guy's kitchen who had just kissed me hours earlier? What the hell is *wrong* with me?
"You okay?" Dave asked at Carter's slightly apprehensive look.
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I want to fall in love tonight
(Here, tonight)
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"Dave..." he started. Dave opened his beer, but placed it on the counter, putting the cap on the counter as well. Carter leaned against the counter, and picked up the cap and started fidgeting with it, fingering it in his hands. "In the parking lot earlier...when you..."
"When I kissed you?" Dave asked as if it were an everyday occurrence, as if every day David Malucci kissed John Carter.
"Right," Carter said, avoiding eye contact. He stammered for a moment, unsure of what he was going to say. Why did I have to bring it up? John asked himself. Couldn't I have just kept my mouth shut? Now what am I supposed to say? "Why?"
"Why do you think?" Dave asked, and only then did Carter realize that he had moved closer to him - much closer - so close that the distance between them was almost nothing. The junior resident raised his lashes to look up at the senior resident when he didn't reply. "It's because I like you Carter. I like you a lot."
"I didn't know that you..." Carter started, suddenly unable to find his voice, unable to form the right words, let alone a complete sentence. Why was he suddenly so nervous? His heart was pounding so hard he was almost afraid that Dave was going to be able to hear it.
"Swung that way?" Dave asked with a grin. He thought for a moment. "It's not something that comes up in conversation often. Sort of like a moment thing." He looked up at Carter, then smiled. Dave could see that the guy was acting so nervous his next statement had to be true: "I know you've never...swung that way. So I guess the question is: what are you doing here?"
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I want to always feel like part of this was mine
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"I don't know..." Carter answered quietly. What *was* he still doing here?
"I think you do," Dave said, his smile growing softer. He reached up with his right hand and touched Carter's cheek gently, affectionately. To Carter's surprise, he didn't pull away. To Carter's surprise, he found himself reaching out and touching Dave's face gently, affectionately. I wished I'd had beer, he thought. I wished I'd had beer so I could be drunk, that way he'd have an excuse for this. Why else would he be standing in David Malucci's apartment, standing impossibly close to David Malucci, touching David Malucci's face, being so turned on by David Malucci?
Faces drawing closer, mouths coming together, eyes closing, lips touching, hands roaming, bodies moving, and oh God, magic happening.
They turned, their bodies entwined and their lips still locked in a rough kiss, and Dave and Carter slammed into the refrigerator, rattling it slightly. Hands were pulling at clothing, running through hair, running over body parts.
Dave suddenly pulled away when he realized where exactly this was going. He looked into Carter's eyes. He hadn't felt this way about someone since Luka, and he sure as hell didn't want this to end up the same way that had. He needed to be sure that this wasn't going to hurt either of them.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked, a little afraid that the answer was going to be one he didn't want to hear. "We don't have to do anything that you don't want to."
"I want to," Carter said softly. He hadn't felt this way for a long time, and it felt good to be wrapped up in nothing but pure passion and the moment. No emotions involved, nothing but physical attraction...just sex. He knew that this was exactly what he needed right now. And he couldn't say that he wasn't a bit curious about this side of Dave - about this side of *himself*. "Believe me, Dave, I want to."
"Then what are we waiting for?" He smiled, a naughty smile that was returned by his companion. "Let's take this to the bedroom."
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I want to fall in love tonight
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