"You're always calling her, never letting her get any rest." Luka stated, staring angrily at Carter. When he and Abby had started dating, she had been up front with him about her alcoholism and the fact that she was Carter's sponsor. At the time, he didn't have a problem with it. He, as much as those at County who had known Carter for years, wanted the man to get well. But last night...last night had been too much. He and Abby had been in bed and she had been doing the most delicious thing to him with her tongue and teeth. Then the phone rang. Abby paused, but then continued with what she was doing, apparently content to let her machine take the call. And then she heard Carter's voice and bolted out of bed to grab the phone before Carter could hang up, taking the blanket with her. An hour later she returned to the bed, but Luka was asleep by then and when she woke him up he was grouchy and not in the mood anymore. They had then gotten into an argument about Carter that ended when Abby kicked him out of her apartment, telling him to call her when he wasn't acting and talking like an ass.

So, no, today, he wasn't an understanding person. "Don't you realize that Abby has a life of her own. A life that she would like to live? But no, you're calling her at all hours of the day and night, telling her how much you need her help. Don't you think it's time you tried standing on your own two feet, Carter? You told her that you would look for a permanent sponsor, but have you?"

"It's not your business, Doctor Kovac," John replied.

"When your phone calls take Abby out of my bed, then it becomes my business!" Luka was practically shouting now and more than a few heads at the admit desk turned to look at him and Carter.

"You're jealous," John said. "That's all."

"That's all? I finally find a woman who...and you...damn right I'm jealous. Abby doesn't drop everything she's doing to run to me."

"Just what the Hell do the two of you think you're doing?"

Both men jumped at the anger in Abby's voice and when they turned to look at her they shrunk back from her steely gaze.

"How dare you talk about my personal business in the middle of the ER?"

"It wasn't intentional, Abby," John said.

"Right. I'm sorry," Luka said, raising his eyebrows and giving her the half smile that she liked so much. Usually it had her melting in his arms. But not today.

"Come with me." They followed Abby to the stairwell and downstairs, then down a long corridor and into a storeroom.

"The two of you are off duty, right?" she asked, her hand on the doorknob and her body blocking the door.

"That's right." Luka replied.

"We're not due on until tomorrow night."

"Good. Then you'll have plenty of time to work though your problems or kill each other between now and then." She stepped back and slammed the door. Standing out in the hallway she pocketed the key, then wiped her hands together and went back upstairs. It was about time that the two most important men in her life decided to get along.

Inside the now dark room, John began to feel a surge of panic as his mind remembered the last time he had been in a darkened room in the hospital. He was on the verge of a scream when the lone overhead bulb came on and he saw Luka standing over by the door with his hand on the light switch.

"That's better," Luka said, taking one look at Carter's pale face. Then he turned his attention to the door. "We're locked in."

"She wouldn't," John stepped up to the door to try to open it, but it wouldn't budge. "We can't even take it off the hinges," John observed. The hinges were on the outside.

"Well, I guess we had better make the most of it." Luka walked around the room, gathering items together so he could sit comfortably on the floor. "Why in the name of God would someone store a tennis racket in a hospital?"

"I dunno. Some dumb doc who didn't know he was supposed to take up golf until it was too late to return the racket to the store," John replied, sparing a swift glance at what Luka was doing, yep, that was a tennis racket he was holding. John shook his head, then returned his attention to the door. There had to be a way to get out. Maybe he could take the doorknob itself off...
************************

Abby was punching out her time card when she had the unmistakable feeling that she was being watched. She put the card in the clock, then back in the tray before she looked around to see who was watching her. The only person anywhere near her was Kerry Weaver.

With a shrug, Abby bundled up her coat, momentarily wondering if Carter and Luka would be warm enough in the storage room. She giggled as she thought of them huddled together for warmth. "Serves them right," she muttered.

"Did you say something, Abby?" Kerry asked.

Abby looked up, "Um, no. Just thinking out loud. So, are you off for the day?"

"Yes. Mark just got here and he's on all night with Malucci, Chen and Cleo. May God help him."

Abby giggled again. "Hey, care for a cup of coffee? My treat?"

"I have a better idea. Why don't we get something stronger?"

Abby shook her head. "Thanks, but I'll pass. I don't drink."

"Oh." Kerry looked disappointed, then she smiled again. "Then how about a steaming cup of hot cocoa? My treat."

"That sounds great. Doc Magoos?"

"My place."

"Oh." Abby hadn't expected that. Carter had told her stories from when he lived there, so Abby was curious as to what Kerry Weaver's house looked like. "That would be great."

Kerry smiled back at her. "Come on. My car's actually in a decent spot in the garage for a change."

Abby followed Kerry to her car and got in, eagerly anticipating an evening out with another woman. She cared a lot for Luka, but seeing him just about every night was driving her crazy. He was so clingy at times. And then there was Carter...a whole other story. He needed her just as much as Luka did, but not in a clingy way. If only Luka and Carter could become friends, then they would have each other to pal around with and Abby could get a bit of time to herself, she thought.

In the meantime, she was going to enjoy this evening of surprising camaraderie with Kerry Weaver.

*******************************

"Carter, for the tenth time, will you come over here and sit down? You are not going to find anything in there to use to pick the lock." Luka had grown weary of watching Carter try to open the door. It had been amusing for the first twenty minutes, but the past twenty minutes had not been fun.

"I'm not giving up. I refuse to spend the night in here."

"Am I really that bad?" Luka asked with a laugh.

"It's not you. I just have other things to do. Part of my probation is that I have to attend certain meetings at certain times and now I'm going to miss one. Maybe more than one if Abby doesn't let us out of here until late tomorrow. She knows that I have to go to these things." John couldn't believe that Abby would be so careless as to lock him in a room knowing that he could lose his job if he missed his meetings. She just couldn't.

"I'm sure that things will work out. I will vow to Kerry and Mark that you were with me the entire time and drug free. Now, sit." Luka ordered.

John shook his head and moved aside another box. He had to get out of there, and not just to attend the two meetings scheduled for the evening. The room was just way too small and the light was flickering. If it went out...John didn't want to think about what would happen if the light went out.

John jerked as strong hands clamped down on his upper arms and he was dragged over to the mattresses that Luka had spread out on the floor.

"Sit," Luka ordered, pushing John Carter down.

John sat down, then scooted over so that his back was safe against the wall.

"I found some blankets, so we won't get too cold. And there is an air vent in here. We should get some heat." Luka informed him as he sat back down.

"Provided the hospital even heats down here." John said.

"Since when did you become such a pessimist?"

"Since I got stabbed, okay? Is that a problem for you?" John testily replied.

Luka shrugged. "Not really. I just preferred things when you weren't like that."

"So did I, Doctor Kovac, so did I."

"I think that since we're going to be here for such a long time that you should call me Luka."

"Well, my name is John."

Luka laughed. "Not too fond of being called Carter after all?"

"It never really mattered before."

"And now it does?"

"Yeah, now it does." The light flickered again and John cast a worried glance up at it. "It's going to go out."

Luka looked up, too. "Nah. It's just a loose connection or something." Just as Luka finished speaking, the light went out. And stayed that way.

"Shit," John muttered. He drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs, trying to remember everything he had been taught on how to handle the sporadic flashbacks from the attack. He could handle this. He would handle it.

"So," John began, "I guess we should think about getting some sleep."

"Hold on," Luka muttered.

John could hear a lot of movement from Luka's direction and then a thin beam of light suddenly appeared.

"I found a flashlight earlier, but I wasn't sure if the batteries were still working."

John grinned. "I think we lucked out." He followed the beam of light to the ceiling, then noticed that one of the ceiling panels was askew. A memory of something raced through his mind. This was the room that Doug Ross had told him about. The room where he and Carol used to have their little rendezvous.

"Luka, I'd bet you good money that there's a candle and a battery powered radio in the ceiling."

Luka laughed. "Right."

"No, I'm serious. Move that panel up and feel around up there."

"No." Luka sharply replied.

"Luka, what's to lose? If there's nothing there, then no harm done. And if there is something there, then we'll have more light and a radio."

"And if something IS there, then it most likely is a spider or something like that."

John laughed. "Are you telling me that you're afraid of spiders?"

"No." Luka snapped. "I just don't like them very much."

John got to his feet, then pulled a box over to just below the ceiling tile. "I'll do it. Spiders don't bother me much."

John pushed the tile aside, then reached through the opening. He smiled as his hand came in contact with the radio and he pulled it out. Luka had gotten up by then, so John handed it to him. Then he reached back in and found the candle and matches.

"We can save the batteries," John said as he climbed down from the box.

"How did you know they were there?" Luka asked as he turned on the radio, trying to pull in a station.

"A friend told me about it." John didn't want to bring Luka down by talking about Doug and Carol. Luka was happy with Abby and over Carol, so why bring up a possible bad memory for Luka? Then again, the man had been acting like a jealous ass earlier, so why not? "Doug Ross told me about it. He and Carol used to spend time down here." John looked around. "The mattresses are gone though."

"You could have just said a friend told you it was here. I really didn't need to hear the rest of it, thank you very much," Luka replied.

"Sorry. I forgot that you were hung up on Carol."

"I wasn't 'hung up' on her. We were just friends."

"Yeah, right."

"Just what is that supposed to mean?"

John shrugged. "It means that your feelings for her surpassed friendship."

"We never had a chance for my feelings to get that far."

They were both quiet while John lit the candle, then Luka cut off the flashlight, setting it aside in case they needed it later.

"So have your feelings gotten that far for Abby?" John softly asked.

"Why? Have yours?" Luka meant his retort to be a joke, but then he saw by the look on John's face that he had hit a nerve.

John looked down at the floor. "Yeah, they have. And you had better not tell her, either. She likes you well enough. And I'm not supposed to be getting into any kind of a relationship right now anyway, so I'm willing to settle for being her friend."

"Why?"

"Because she's a nice person, Luka. Certainly you've seen that."

Luka shook his head. "No, I meant, why aren't you supposed to be getting into a relationship right now?"

"It's the drug thing." John softly replied.

"The drug thing? What does your being a recovering addict have to do with love?"

"According to the experts, everything."

"Fuck the experts."

John laughed. "I wish it was that simple, Luka, I really do. I don't like being alone, I never have. But, you know, it's one thing when you're alone because you just can't find anyone and quite another thing to be alone because everyone is telling you that it isn't good for you to be with someone."

"Sounds backward to me. I would think that right now is the time when you would need someone the most."

"Yeah, but they want me to need my sponsor as a rock I can cling to when things get rough. They want me to need to attend the AA and NA meetings for support. They don't want me getting my support from one person. I guess they're afraid that if I do that, then I'll start to feel that I don't need the groups anymore."

"Would you feel that way?"

John shrugged. "I don't know. It's not like I'm going to find out any time soon, so why bother thinking about it."

They both fell silent then, thinking about what John had said. Luka thought that those 'rules' weren't terribly fair to John. Everyone needed to be loved, and John needed that a lot right now. Suddenly Luka realized why Abby had said he was being an ass about John calling her all the time. John needed someone to support him. Well, he might not be a sponsor, but Luka was sure he could offer support as a friend.

Luka's nose wrinkled as he sniffed the air. "That smells like a lubenica." He saw John's puzzled expression. "Watermelon. The candle smells like a watermelon."

*********************

"You locked them in a store room?" Kerry asked, incredulous at the thought.

Abby grinned and pulled the key out of her pocket. "I'll let them out tomorrow in enough time for them to get ready for their shift. Hopefully by then they'll be over all this macho, he-man shit."

Kerry laughed. "I wouldn't count on it. By then they'll have bonded and feel superior over you because they got along all night and part of the day."

They were seated on the couch in Kerry's living room, sipping on cups of hot cocoa and talking. They had covered a lot of topics and Abby had finally told Kerry what she had done to Luka and Carter.

The sound of the heat kicking in was louder than Kerry's laughter and Abby once more wondered if the guys would be warm enough in that basement room.

"Kerry," Abby began, they had given up on formalities while the cocoa was being made, "the hospital does send heat down there, don't they?"

Kerry's laughter faded as she considered Abby's question. "I really don't know. Maintenance might consider it to be unused space and have the ducts blocked off. It's supposed to snow tonight."

"Yeah." Abby said. She then set down her cup beside the duck decoy on the end table and got to her feet. "I've got to let them out of there tonight. If they got sick or something, then I'd never forgive myself."

"Abby, Abby, Abby, let them stay there a bit longer. Let them feel the cold seeping in. Then rescue them. They'll owe you then." Kerry said with a grin.

Abby grinned back. "I like the sound of that. Man, what I could do with two men like that owing me."

"You and me both. They are hot, aren't they?"

"You think they're hot?" Abby asked in surprise.

"Sure. When Carter was living here...well, there were a few times when I caught glimpses of more than he's willing to show, and it looked downright nice." Kerry took a long sip of her drink. "And only a blind person would miss how hot Luka Kovac is. You're quite lucky to have one for a lover and the other for a friend."

"I wouldn't mind having them both," Abby said with a giggle. "But, seriously, Kerry, I thought that you were involved with that therapist." Abby had been secretly thrilled when she had heard the rumors about Kerry Weaver and that other woman. Abby had been with a woman once before, back in nursing school, before Richard had come into her life. She would have been much better off if she had stayed with the woman, Abby thought. Looking at Kerry through lowered lashes, Abby wondered yet one more time what Kerry Weaver would be like in bed. When Abby had heard that Kerry was with that woman, the fantasy had taken on a whole new urgency, but now...now that she knew better, Abby felt a big let down about it.

"I was. We're not together now." Kerry saw the confused look on Abby's face and she smiled. "I'm bisexual. I like men and women."

"Oh." That made Abby feel better, and the fantasy settled itself back into place. Still, Abby was curious about Kerry and how she really felt about the two men in question "So, you had Carter here all that time and never made a move on him?"

"I thought of it plenty of times, but he had a girlfriend and Carter's the kind of guy who would drive himself crazy with guilt if he cheated on his girlfriend, even if he was only in the relationship for the sex."

"He told you that?"

Kerry waved her hand in the air, "Oh, no. He didn't have to. It was so obvious. Roxanne liked having a good-looking doctor to show off and Carter liked having someone period. He doesn't like being alone. Come to think of it, I doubt if most people like being alone."

"Poor guy," Abby muttered. "Maybe we should fix him up with someone."

"I'll take him," Kerry said.

"Uh, no offense, but if he's going to be with a co-worker, then he's going to be with me."

"You have Luka."

"I know how to share and play nice."

The two women exchanged amused glances, then they giggled.

"They would both freak out if we tried something like that," Abby said.

"I know. Still, it would be worth it to try. If they say no, then we'll always be able to treasure the look on their faces as they wrestle with their consciences about it."

"It would be exciting, wouldn't it?" Abby asked, her eyes steadily gazing into Kerry's.

As if to answer her, Kerry leaned over and slid her hand into the pocket of Abby's jeans, feeling for the key. When she withdrew her hand, Abby felt denied. She had liked the feel of Kerry's warm hand through the fabric and had wished she had been feeling it on her skin.

Kerry waved the key in the air, ignoring Abby's all too becoming blush. "I think we should go rescue them."

Abby suddenly felt bold, and she thought 'Hell, why not?' She leaned over and grabbed Kerry's wrist, holding it out from her body. "I think they can wait a bit, don't you?" Then she brushed her lips against Kerry's.

"Yeah, it won't kill them to wait." Kerry replied as she dropped the key and put all she had into a return kiss.

*************************

Luka shivered and pulled the blanket tighter around his shoulders. "It's getting cold in here."

"I noticed." John huddled under the other blanket.

"You know, we could be warmer if we, um, combined our body heat," Luka suggested.

"You mean share blankets?"

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you mention that earlier?" John moved closer to Luka until their shoulders were touching, then they rearranged the blankets over their bodies. "That should be better."

"Yeah, it should. If it gets much colder we might have to strip down."

"Excuse me?"

"Clothing can get in the way. Bare bodies huddled together under a blanket will be warmer than clothed bodies huddled together."

"It won't get that cold," John firmly said.

"It might. Look, it's nothing, okay? My brother and I used to strip down for bed every night and we shared the same bed. What about you?"

"Our family wears some kind of pajamas."

"Must be cold."

John's laugh was sardonic, "Yeah, we are a cold family, Luka."

They were quiet again, listening to the radio. A song was ending and a weather report was beginning. It was starting to snow and they were expecting an accumulation of at least ten inches over night.

As they sat there, John was very much aware of Luka's body next to his. He could even feel the heat emanating from Luka and he couldn't get his mind off of the image of the two of them stripped down to their underwear and sitting side by side like this. Then something happened that hadn't happened in a long time -- his penis twitched, then began to swell. Not even being around Abby had made him aroused, but thinking about sitting next to a near naked Luka was certainly doing the job. John shifted position as it was getting physically uncomfortable.

Luka was also feeling some odd things. He wanted to feel John's skin against his own, wanted to be his support if John needed him. More than anything else though, he wanted to feel himself being held by John. Since his sexual encounter with Abby last night had ended with no release, he was more than ready for sex, and his penis didn't seem to care if it was Abby or John on his mind. But Luka knew better than to say something about it. This was definitely the kind of thing that John's counselors were warning him against, Luka was pretty sure about that.

A few more minutes passed in silence and then John spoke up. "I think it is getting colder. Maybe we had better try what you said."

Luka cleared his throat. "You mean stripping down?"

"Yeah." John quickly answered.

Luka didn't think it was any colder and then it occurred to him that maybe John was just more sensitive to the cold. "Okay. Why don't you hold the blankets in place while I strip? Then we both won't get any colder."

"Okay." John held the blankets up, trying to not think about the fact that Luka was stripping right beside him. After a few minutes of hearing clothes rustling and getting jabbed by Luka's elbow more than once, Luka finally told John that it was his turn.

As John reached down to undo his pants, his hand brushed against Luka's thigh and with a shock John felt that Luka had even taken off his underwear. That made him even more excited and he told himself that he would do that, too. Thankful for the faint candlelight that wouldn't show up his scars, John managed to get his clothing off with less effort than it had taken Luka.

"Done." John said.

"Good. We need to get a little closer for it to work."

"We do?"

"Yes, we do."

"How much closer?" John asked as he turned his head to look at Luka. Luka was staring at him and John saw an unmistakable flame of desire in those eyes. "This close?" John asked, and then he leaned closer and kissed Luka on the lips.

"Closer," Luka whispered, and they wrapped their arms around each other and held on as another kiss began, their bodies touching. The skin to skin contact was electric, and Luka wanted to touch all of John and feel John's hands over his entire body.

The blankets were kicked to the side as they stretched out on the mattress, their bodies entwined while their hands explored unhindered by clothing or inhibitions. Their kisses took on a fervent tone, as if neither man could get enough of the other.

Luka gasped as John's hand wrapped around his penis and began to gently pump it.

"I guess you like that, huh?" John asked with a grin.

"God, yes." Luka reached out to enclose John in his fist and began to pump his penis, matching John stroke for stroke. Neither man lasted long, and they both came with loud cries, their semen spilling over their hands. They lay there, their hearts racing as they tried to catch their breaths. Finally, Luka reached over and grabbed a blanket to clean them both off. Then he draped the clean blanket over them and he and John snuggled into each other's arms, sleepy in the afterglow of sex.

"Warmer now?" Luka asked as he nibbled on John's ear.

"Much," John replied before he lowered his mouth to one of Luka's nipples and began to suck on it slowly.

"I think you're going to make me too hot, John."

"I hope so. If we don't create some heat of our own in here we'll freeze."

"Then by all means continue. You don't mind if I do this, do you?" Luka sucked on John's ear lobe, feeling the other man shiver with desire.

"Not at all," John replied. "Not at all. Do you mind if I do this?" John began to lick circles on Luka's chest and Luka sighed.

"No. Please keep that up." Luka grinned as he thought about how long it would take them to cover the entire human body with their mouths. It was going to be a good night after all.

Abby couldn't hold back a gasp of excitement as Kerry returned her kiss. This Kerry Weaver was so different from the one who was continually strict with her at work. Abby had often suspected that a cauldron of passion simmered beneath that prim-and-proper veneer, but she hadn't anticipated it would surface so quickly and easily. Not that she was complaining, of course. She turned her body into Kerry's and leaned against the redhead.

Kerry suddenly jumped and exclaimed, "Ow!"

"What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, you just leaned on my hip the wrong way. Don't worry about it, it happens."

"Oh, sorry..." Abby was so used to seeing Kerry forge ahead through traumas and short-staffed double shifts and all kinds of hell without complaint that she hadn't considered it might be a factor in another kind of physical encounter. "You know, if you don't want to do this...I mean, it was just a spur of the moment impulse."

Kerry gave her something resembling the evil eye. "Hey, don't tell me you're giving up on me this quickly. I get enough frustration from men who are finished by the time I'm warmed up."

That made Abby burst out laughing. It was another remark that seemed to belie Kerry's conservative image.

Kerry smiled as she stood. "Come on," she said, picking up her cocoa mug with her free hand. "Bedroom's this way. We might as well be comfortable, right?" She walked toward the bedroom without waiting for an answer.

Abby was surprised at the suggestion, though she couldn't have said why. She was the one who had initiated this activity in the first place, but she hadn't really expected anything more than some playful necking before they went and released the men. But Kerry, who Abby had often thought didn't even like her, seemed prepared to go all the way right now.

Finishing her cocoa with a quick gulp, Abby got to her feet and followed her boss with all due speed. Okay, so it was unexpected, but you had to strike while the iron was hot, right?

*********************************

Luka was taking his time, licking his way slowly down John's chest, ever conscious of his final goal, but not wanting to rush things by going straight for John's penis. Luka had never performed oral sex on another man, but he found that the idea didn't disgust him. In fact, the mental image of putting his mouth on John's hardness and working him over was making Luka even harder. His wife had liked to give him head, and over the years she had become quite proficient at it. And Abby...well, Abby was just great at it. Luka was quite pleased with how she was in bed. Now Luka would draw upon all his experiences on the receiving end of it to bring John to completion.

"So, you have fantasized about Abby?" Luka asked, stopping his slow licks long enough to look up at John's face. It was flushed with desire and Luka was pretty sure that John wasn't feeling the cold any longer. Neither was he, especially when John kept up the gentle, yet persistent caressing of his inner thigh.

"Yeah, I have," John admitted. "Is she good in bed?" He looked at Luka and saw the amusement rise in the other man's eyes.

Luka nodded. "She's very good, at least in my opinion. I haven't been with all that many women in my life. My wife and I were childhood sweethearts, and for years after her death I didn't want to be with anyone else. I'd say that you've probably had more women in your life than I have."

John's brow furrowed as he tried to remember just how many women he had been with in his life. It wasn't that high a number, but the sex had always been good. Not quite the same as the way it was feeling with Luka. This was different, but definitely satisfying.

"So, tell me, John, do you like this?" Luka quickly shifted his body and bowed his head to quickly lap at the head of John's penis. John's quick and strangled gasp was all the answer Luka needed. Encouraged, he continued his play, teasing John by licking his way up and down the long shaft, then tickling the edge of the head with his tongue, circling it many times. John's moans were an aphrodisiac for Luka and as they increased, so did his commitment to following this through to the end. Without warning to John, Luka opened his mouth wide and lowered it over John's penis. When he closed his lips, he had nearly all of John inside his mouth. Luka sucked hard, then began to move his head up and down, savoring the smoothness of John's skin. He brought up a hand to caress John's testicles, gently kneading them as his mouth worked wonders.

John closed his eyes, losing himself to the physical sensations that were washing over him. He had been the recipient of many a blowjob over the years, but none of them had been quite like this. It was as if Luka knew exactly what to do to pleasure him. It occurred to John that Luka probably did -- after all, the man had probably received more than one blowjob during his life, and he knew what had felt good to him. So, it was only logical to take that one step further and assume that Luka would also know what might feel good to him. That idea made John eager to show Luka that he was willing to please him in the same way.

Before John could think more on that idea, his world exploded, and he rode out wave after wave of pleasure, barely aware of the fact that Luka was still on him, swallowing all he had to give. Finally, Luka pulled off of him, a grin on his face.

Luka wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Well? Did you enjoy that?"

"What do you think?" John asked with a grin of his own. He sat up and leaned toward Luka, drawing him in for a deep kiss. Then he pushed Luka to the mattress. "Your turn now."

Luka straightened his legs and licked his lips as he watched John position himself between his thighs. Luka was curious as to what approach John would take, and he wasn't disappointed when John went directly to the heart of the matter, immediately wrapping his lips around the top of Luka's penis and then slowly drawing the organ into his mouth. Luka threw his head back as his hands clenched the blanket, looking for support. "If you keep doing that, then I'm not going to last long," Luka warned.

"Do you want to last long?" John asked around him.

Luka was undecided on that. One part of him wanted this to last for hours. Nothing could be fulfilling than having John caress his penis using only his tongue. Another part of him wanted to come now, so that they could rest a bit and then begin new explorations of each other's bodies. Now that Luka had taken the second, or was it third, step, over the line, he found himself eager to continue on the road. He wanted to feel John inside of him and he wanted to be inside of John, filling him completely. Hell, Abby had said she wouldn't let them out until late tomorrow, so they had plenty of time to do it all.

"I want to last," Luka finally said. He sighed as John's tongue began to massage his swollen member.

"Then you will." John said, very intent on making sure that he would do all he could to drive Luka crazy with want and the need for release. He had been fortunate to have had several girlfriends who were adventuresome with their play, and he was going to show Luka that a man could last very long indeed with the right mouth upon him.

**********************************

"Why don't you get in bed," Kerry said from the bathroom doorway. "I'll be with you in just a second." She said it as casually as she had invited Abby to have a seat in her living room, earlier. Not nervous, not seductive, just matter-of-fact, in that politely firm tone that said it was really a diplomatically phrased order.

Abby shook her head as she removed her top. Just can't help being the boss, I guess, she thought. Shoes, jeans, and underwear piled on top of the bedcovers, and she was about the brush them onto the floor, but then decided not to violate the tidiness of Kerry's home. She bundled her clothes together and set them in a chair instead.

She slid under the covers, enjoying the feel of clean sheets sliding against her skin, and settled back against the pillows. She drew the sheet up so it hid her breasts, but still showed the nipples' outline clearly. Seductive without being needy, she thought. Available, yet ever so slightly demure.

The light in the bathroom shut off and Kerry came out of it. She still had the crutch on her right arm and the cocoa mug in her left hand. But she was otherwise nude, and apparently not too shy about it. Her skin was pale, as Abby had imagined, but trim and well proportioned; her disability had obviously not prevented her from keeping in shape. Strangely, seeing Kerry with the crutch, but without clothes, made her seem even more attractive than simply being naked. It was surprising how sexy she was with it, not unlike the time that Abby had talked Luka into wearing the fireman's hat and nothing else...

She smiled at Abby and said, "Comfortable?"

"Uh-huh."

"You find the nipple clamps and the ball gags where I left them?"

Abby's jaw dropped. Maybe this was going places she hadn't prepared for. "Uhh..."

"Just kidding. Slide over." Kerry set the mug down on the bedside table and climbed into bed beside Abby, slipping an arm around her shoulders.

"You know, Kerry, we're not at the hospital," Abby said. "You can't boss me around here."

"Oh yeah?" Kerry rolled on top of Abby, pinning her arms down with surprising strength. "You'd be surprised."

Far from alarming Abby, this just aroused her more. She felt the warmth of Kerry's loins pressing into hers, the fullness of Kerry's breasts melding with her own, and her lips parted in anticipation of the taste of the other woman's...

Kerry reached for her mug, taking the last sip, then kissed Abby, letting the taste of lukewarm chocolate flow into her mouth. The sweet sensuality took Abby by surprise. Then again, Kerry Weaver seemed to be full of surprises today.

She felt Kerry's tongue gently infiltrate her mouth and sucked on it eagerly. Life with her husband had soured her on sex enough that it had come as a welcome surprise when Luka reminded her how wonderful it could be. But it had been even longer since she went to bed with a woman, and the rediscovery of that pleasure was equally delightful.

Kerry released one of her wrists, running her fingers lightly down the side of Abby's face, caressing it with a tenderness she'd rarely felt. The hand moved down her neck, over her shoulders to tease and tickle her breast. Abby moaned aloud, her free hand wrapping around Kerry's head and running through the flame-red hair as Kerry's hand moved down over her belly. Abby had no complaints about Luka in bed - he was the best man she'd ever been with, by a considerable stretch - but there were some sensations that came from being with another woman, which couldn't be duplicated. She hadn't realized until now how much she'd missed them.

"Oh, God," she moaned around the other woman's lips. "Kerry..."

Kerry took the sound of her name as encouragement, dipping the hand between Abby's legs and sliding her fingers into the wetness she found there. "Shh," she whispered, kissing her way down over Abby's chin. "We're just getting started, honey."

Abby's eyes rolled behind her lids. The feel of Kerry's soft lips sucking at her neck was stimulating her nearly as much as the hand moving inside her. "Kerry," she gasped again, helpless to say anything more. "Kerry, please..."

The rhythm of Kerry's fingers increased, building along with Abby's desire. Kerry's mouth kissed its way up her cheek to her ear, and her hot tongue filled it. Abby felt Kerry's thumb brush across her nub, and that put her over the edge. She climaxed, both wetly and loudly.

She was dimly aware of Kerry holding her tenderly as she found her way back through post-orgasmic dizziness. Opening her eyes, she found herself looking straight into Kerry's. The other woman's smile told Abby that she knew exactly how good it had been for her.

Kerry brought her fingertips to her own mouth, sucking one of them. "Sweet," she commented. "Just the way I like my women." She leaned closer and kissed Abby, giving her a taste of herself, then released her and sat up, stretching.

"We're done?" Abby asked in surprise.

"Nope, just taking five," Kerry replied easily. "It never hurts to take a breather now and again. I mean, there's no rush...is there?" She added the last with a sly look at Abby.

Abby grinned in response. She thought briefly of John and Luka, who were probably cold and miserable down there just now, while she and Kerry were warm and comfortable in bed together. That provoked a pang of guilt, but she ignored it; suffering builds character, or so they say. Besides, it was their own fault for being all macho and confrontational to begin with.

Yeah, they were probably driving each other crazy right about now...

**************************

Luka was doing all he could to find a decent handhold, but not having much luck with it. "Dammitt, your hair is too short," he growled as his fingers slid through the short strands of John's hair one more time. As usual with his remarks over the past thirty minutes, John had no reply. He was too intent on driving Luka over the edge, although Luka was beginning to wonder if that would ever happen. He had been on that edge of release so many time now that he wasn't sure that he would ever fall over it.

Luka's hands fell to John's shoulders, and he grabbed there, managing to hold John in place and find a nice handhold at the same time. As he approached his orgasm, his grip tightened, and he heard John whimper. Belatedly, Luka realized that he was probably going to leave bruises behind, but right then he didn't really care. All he cared about was gaining release.

"Please?" He begged. "Make me come, John. I need it so badly."

Luka thought he felt John's head move in a nodding way, and he prayed that this time John would let him climax. He closed his eyes, seeing nothing but darkness against the inside of his eyelids. Then that darkness exploded into flashes of red and he screamed out as he climaxed. He could feel himself shooting out his seed over and over, his penis throbbing from it. His heart was beating in his ears, fighting with the roaring inside of his head for prominence. It took a long time for it all to subside, and when it did, Luka opened his eyes to see that John was now lying beside him, a bird-eating smile on his face.

"Did you like that?" John repeated Luka's earlier question.

"Heaven would be to have you and Abby in my bed," Luka said with a sigh. He reached up and wrapped his head around John's neck, then pulled his head down for a kiss. "That was wonderful."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. I know I did." John kissed Luka back, letting his lips linger upon Luka's for a few moments. "I wonder if anyone heard you scream? You were quite loud."

"Complaining?"

John shook his head. "Not really. It's kind of a turn on to know that I made you scream like that." John's smile was now a grin as he thought of how much in control he had felt while giving Luka the blowjob. There was so much in his life lately that was out of his control, and it felt really good to find something that he could handle. He was definitely interested in doing that some more with Luka, anxious to see if this was a one-time feeling on the older man's part or if these feelings would happen over and over again. John wanted to see just how much longer he could play with Luka, how long he could make the other man last until he broke down begging for release the way he had tonight.

"I can clearly see that it was a turn on for you," Luka commented as he reached out to stroke John's semi-hard penis. "I think that it's time to find out what else turns you on, don't you agree?"

"Oh, I wouldn't argue with you about that," John said as Luka pulled him down to the mattress. John moaned aloud as he felt Luka's mouth close over one of his nipples, his teeth lightly raking over it. Shivering under the intimate touch, John pushed all thoughts of the real world out of his mind so he could concentrate on the man with him and the unique feelings that Luka was creating inside of him.

Abby felt the urge to light a cigarette that she usually felt after sex. One of her only gripes about sleeping with Luka was that he disapproved of her smoking and wouldn't let her light up after they made love. Well, there's another reason to let him stew down there a while, she thought.

Kerry had finished a couple of stretches that looked habitual. Abby recognized a couple of physical therapy exercises, and figured that Kerry had to do them pretty regularly. She lay back contentedly and watched the older woman go through the motions with a simple economy. It was not an overtly sexual sight, but it was certainly pleasant to watch, she decided.

When Kerry had finished, she turned back to Abby. "Ready for more?"

"Yeah," Abby said, reaching for her. "Your turn."

Kerry pushed her hands gently aside. "No, still yours."

Abby's eyes widened. "Really? But I just came."

"Only once," Kerry reminded her. "I haven't finished with you yet. And I like to be thorough in everything I do."

"Oh, man, I've died and gone to heaven."

"Not yet, but give me a minute." Kerry lowered her mouth to Abby's breast, sucking at it, flicking her tongue lightly over the areola, biting gently at the nipple. Feathery ripples of pleasure lit up Abby's nervous system like flashes of lightning in distant storm clouds. Kerry was no larger than Abby herself, so there was a vivid difference from the tall, broad-shouldered Luka Kovac, whose size seemed to engulf her deliciously. But this, in its own way, was every bit as marvelous.

Kerry's palms glided over Abby's ribs, inducing fluttery vibrations in her stomach muscles, as her mouth worked its way downward. She blew warmly into Abby's navel, even as Abby's hands clutched at her shoulder blades. She didn't have to guide Kerry's destination; the older woman was going right where she wanted anyway. But Abby couldn't help wishing she would hurry up and get there. Kerry, no doubt, knew it, and drew the experience out mercilessly.

And then she was there.

"Oh my GOD..!"

The dynamic talents of Kerry's tongue within her seemed to be without limits, bringing her to the brink of orgasm time and again, then backing away just as she neared the peak. How she was able to sustain Abby's level of pleasure was a mystery to the nurse, one which she hoped would never be entirely solved.

Abby's head thrashed on the pillow, unable to remain still. She'd had her fun with women before...well, one woman...but that was with a young, insecure student, no more experienced in female sex than Abby herself. Kerry's expertise in bed was easily the equal of that she displayed in the ER.

When at last she came, it was like reaching the finish line of a marathon. The incredible sense of release, of triumph, almost of transfiguration, was beyond anything she'd expected when she'd first impulsively kissed Kerry. The liquid, glowing sensation was not merely in her pelvis, but spread throughout her body, along her limbs, her tendons, in every pore of her body. It was as good as anything she had experienced with men. Certainly a damn sight better than anything her ex-husband had done for her. She knew she'd be expecting even more from Luka in the future if he were to equal this. And the really terrific part was that she had a feeling he was quite capable of satisfying her expectations. Maybe even surpassing them.

The drowsiness of one orgasm, compounded by another, left her only dimly aware of Kerry retracing her way up her body, concentrating on the other breast in the process. Abby's full awareness returned as Kerry kissed her again, as though putting the finishing touches on her work.

"Let's hear it for being thorough," Abby managed to gasp.

Kerry smiled appreciatively and held her while she breathed deeply, re-oxygenating her body.

After a while, Abby propped herself up on one elbow and leaned over her co-worker. "Okay, it's your turn now, and no arguments."

"Who's arguing?" Kerry replied with a languid smile.

Abby filled her hands with Kerry's breasts. They weren't excessively large, just the right size for her. And the way the erect nipples jutted against her palms was another thrill she had forgotten. What a joy to learn such things all over again, she thought.

As good as they felt in her hands, the taste was even better. The softness of her skin, the texture, the slight musky aroma... Abby considered herself to be ultimately heterosexual, but she had to admit that she loved visiting the female side of things from time to time...

***********************************

"Are you sure about this?" John whispered. He was draped over Luka's back. Luka's wonderfully strong and toned back. Luka had been quite clear that he wanted to feel John inside of him, wanted to go all the way.

"I'm sure." Luka rested his forehead against his folded arms. He was on his haunches on the mattress waiting to feel John enter his body. Waiting to see what it would be like. Wanting it so badly that he could taste it. "Quit stalling for time and take me, damn you," Luka growled.

John chuckled, then positioned himself at Luka's opening. He had engaged in anal sex with Liz, and even though that had been years ago, he still remembered what to do and what not to do. It would be interesting to see how different a man's reaction would be as compared to Liz's.

"Try to stay relaxed, okay? If it starts to hurt or burn, then tell me and I'll stop. We're not in a big hurry here, remember?"

"I remember."

John slowly pushed against the tight ring, meeting resistance. Not wanting to hurt Luka, he was hesitant to enter too quickly. If things worked out tonight, then John was already looking forward to doing this with Luka once again. Heck, as long as he was dreaming, he might as well think that they would do it lots of times.

Luka gasped as he felt John's heat penetrate his body. It was too big, way too big, Luka thought, but he didn't tell John to stop. He wanted to feel this. Wanted to say that he had done everything possible with a man that it was possible to do. Luka wanted to savor the experience, have it as a pleasant memory since he didn't think that he would ever again have the chance to be with John. Luka wanted...whoa, that was a new sensation. Luka had been so busy thinking that he hadn't noticed it when John pushed in further. It hurt. God, how it hurt. Luka could imagine that he was bleeding from being stretched, but he didn't care. He would get through his, even though it wasn't what he had been expecting. He had expected a pleasurable feeling, fullness making him feel complete. Well, he had the fullness, but no pleasure.

John tensed as he heard Luka's moan of pain. Knowing he wasn't in far enough yet to hit the prostate, John slowly pulled back, then pushed forward again. Luka moaned once more, and this moan was definitely one of pleasure. John grinned, then kept on with what he was doing.

Just when Luka had been about to write off homosexual sex as highly overrated, John's penis had hit a spot inside of him that created the most wonderful feeling of pleasure that Luka had ever known. Yes! This was what he had imagined, what he had heard from homosexual friends. John then began to pull out and Luka voiced his disappointment at that idea. "No. Stay in me. We're only just starting, right?"

"I'm not pulling out all the way, Luka. Relax. I know what I'm doing here."

"You said that you'd never been with a man before."

"I haven't. Now shut up and let me fuck you." John was shocked at his choice of words, but they had the desired effect. Luka quit talking and was now thrusting his hips back to meet him. After a few more minutes of careful penetration, John was ready to go further. And so was Luka. The older man met John thrust for thrust, impaling himself upon John at every opportunity. The tightness and warmth inside of Luka was incredible and John didn't last long there. He cried out as he came, resting against Luka as he felt his penis contract with each convulsion of ejaculation.

Luka stretched out under John, moving slowly so that he could keep John in place. It had felt so good to be taken that way, but he had not yet come. He hadn't wanted to come. At least not on the mattress.

"Ready to switch positions?" Luka asked.

"I'm spent, Luka. I can't do it again." John said with a sigh.

Luka laughed. "I know. But, I'm hard and I want to be inside of you. It's only fair, John. So far tonight we've each done the same thing."

John rolled off of Luka's back and Luka moved his body so that he was on top of John.

"You want to fuck me?" John asked, feeling brave after his previous slip up.

"I most certainly want to fuck you," Luka said with a grin. "In every position conceivable, but for right now I'll settle for taking you from behind, like you did me."

"How's your back?" John suddenly asked.

"My back?" Luka asked with surprise. He hadn't been expecting that question. Then it occurred to him that just because John had been through detox, the reason for his drug abuse might still be a factor. "It feels fine. I wasn't bent over long enough for it to hurt. If you're worried about your back, then you can stay the way you are."

"It's been all right lately, but I don't want to put an strain on it," John explained. He reached between their bodies and grabbed Luka's penis, squeezing it. "I want you, Luka." John spread his legs and Luka settled between them, then he raised up and lifted John's long and lean legs.

"Do you think this will be okay for you?" Luka asked.

John let go of Luka and nodded.

"Well, if it gets painful...in any way, let me know and we'll find another position."

"Okay."

Luka shifted position, kneeling and then resting John's butt on his thighs. "Still okay?"

John grinned up at him. "I'll let you know when it hurts. I will." He nodded.

Luka nodded, then reached for the bottle of massage oil that he had earlier found. Also watermelon scented. Apparently either Doug or Carol had a penchant for that scent, although Luka couldn't ever remember Carol smelling like a watermelon. Looking like she had swallowed one, sure. But, not smelling like one.

Luka poured a liberal amount into his palm, then a slow grin started on his face as he realized the position he had John in. He tipped the bottle over John's bottom, letting the cool liquid out onto John's warm skin.

John drew in a sharp breath as he felt Luka pour the cold oil on him. "Jesus, Luka! Weren't you paying attention to the way I warmed it my hands first before using it?"

"I have some warming in my hand, thank you." Luka put the bottle aside, then began to rub the oil in, making sure that his fingers went into John on a frequent basis, gently stretching his sphincter muscles the same way that John had stretched his. Then he rubbed the handful of oil up and down his hard shaft and lifted John's legs once again, holding them out and up as he pressed the head of his swollen organ against John.

"Ready?" Luka asked, his voice husky with a new desire.

John nodded. "Ready as I'll ever be." He grinned. "Fuck me, Luka. Fuck me hard."

"Where did you get such a dirty mouth?" Luka asked, still smiling.

"It's a hidden talent. Now quit talking and get down to business."

"As you wish, John." Luka began to push his way inside.

************************

Kerry's sighs, moans, and quivers were a thrill to Abby's senses. The way she squirmed and writhed was a particular delight, since Abby couldn't recall ever seeing Kerry Weaver out of control before. As much as she wanted to take her time and tantalize Kerry the same way Kerry had done for her, Abby's impatience was getting the better of her. She couldn't wait to hear Kerry squeal.

She moved lower, between Kerry's thighs, spreading them with her hands. Then, remembering how she'd inadvertently hurt Kerry earlier, she asked, "How's your hip? Is this okay?"

"Yes," Kerry gasped impatiently. "I took a pill in the bathroom, I'm fine." Her hands pulled Abby's face down to her groin.

Abby gently parted Kerry's nether lips with her fingers, bringing her mouth to...

A pill?

That made sense, if Kerry took some kind of prescribed medication, but it made her think of John. Oh, no.

Abby jerked her head up, looking around for a clock, and spotting one on a nearby table. Oh, God...

It was thirteen minutes to ten PM.

"Oh, SHIT...!!" Abby jerked upright, sitting back on her haunches and covering her mouth with her hands in horror.

Kerry's eyes opened. "I beg your pardon?" she said, indignantly. "Don't tell me I'm that unattractive."

"Oh, dear God, what have I done?"

"Nothing yet, that's the problem! And you were just about to..."

"No, no, no, Kerry, you don't understand. John was required to attend a meeting tonight! He's missed it because of me!"

Kerry's annoyance vanished immediately as she took in Abby's meaning. "Oh, Abby..."

"I didn't think about that when I locked them in!" Abby's sense of dread was growing rapidly. "Oh my God, I've made him violate one of his agreements."

"Abby, calm down," Kerry said, sitting up and taking her hands.

"Kerry, I may have just cost him his job, all because I was angry! While you and I are having sex..."

"Abby," Kerry broke in with her take-charge voice, "it's not that bad. If it's clear that he's not at fault, and isn't able to make it to the meeting for reasons that are beyond his control, he won't be held accountable."

Abby nodded, calming a little. "You're right..."

"Luka will bear witness to the fact that he was locked in at the wrong time. You can, too. It's going to be all right. Okay?"

"Okay." She took a deep breath, getting hold of herself once more. "But I think I really should go let them out now, before anything worse happens."

Kerry nodded. "I'll go with you. That way, I can confirm the situation if anyone asks. With an attending and the ER Chief both vouching for John, I don't think he'll have any trouble."

They were quiet for a moment, then Abby got up and began dressing. Kerry did the same, pulling new clothes out of a drawer.

Minutes later, they were in Kerry's car, driving toward the hospital. "I'm sorry," Abby said. "You were wonderful to me, and it's not fair that you didn't get to..."

"That's okay," Kerry replied, a little regretfully, Abby thought. "I'll take a rain check, and...maybe we can work something out later."

Abby nodded. "I owe you one."

"Yes, you do." Kerry navigated a slippery corner with care. "Did you mean what you said earlier? That you don't mind sharing?"

"Uh-huh. If two people really love and trust each other, I don't see why they couldn't involve a third party. Why, you want to join Luka and me sometime?"

Kerry's face had the hint of a smile. "Ohhh, I suppose I could live with that..."

Abby smiled, amused. "You know, I even told my husband once that we could bring another woman to bed with us if he wanted."

"What'd he say?"

"Can you believe it? He was furious! He thought the whole idea was disgusting." She shook her head. "It figures I'd go and marry the one straight man in North America who isn't into the idea of two women in bed with him."

Kerry laughed out loud.

"I don't know what he was so afraid of," Abby went on. "It's not like I'd become a complete lesbian and dump him for a woman. I like having sex with women now and then, but I can't really get emotionally attached to them. I mean, I don't fall in love with them the way I can with men."

"I know what you mean," Kerry replied absently. "I'm that way with just about everyone."

Abby looked at her in surprise. "You've never been in love?"

Kerry shrugged. "It just doesn't seem to happen." She was trying to be offhanded about it, but Abby was certain there was a note of sadness in her voice. Rather obviously changing the subject, she said, "So, what happened with your husband?"

"I caught him with another woman, the fucking hypocrite. My best friend, or so I thought." Abby scowled. "Sure, it's okay for him to get some on the side, without me knowing about it, but share her with me? Treat me like a person with feelings? Noooo, can't have any of that."

The conversation trailed off as they drove, but Abby began to feel a new kind of guilt. In a sense, she realized, she'd just done the same thing. Cheated on Luka by going to bed with Kerry. It was one thing if all three were in agreement beforehand, but doing it without Luka knowing about it... She had to wonder how she'd feel if she ever caught him with someone else.

Nah, that wouldn't happen. He was too decent and honest to do that to her. Wasn't he?

******************************

The falling snow made the drive to County a little hazardous, but they made it there in good time. The two women managed to make it to the elevators without being spotted, then down to the basement.

Abby led Kerry straight to the door of the storeroom where she had left Luka and Carter. As she got out the key, she sniffed, smelling something different in the air. "Is that watermelon?"

Kerry nodded. "Smells like it. It's one of those aromatherapy candle scents. I have one somewhere at the house."

"Hmm." Abby quickly unlocked the door and she and Kerry stepped into the room, stopping short just inside of the entrance as they saw for themselves that Luka and Carter were far from freezing to death in the room.

Abby felt her jaw drop in astonishment. She wanted to cry out in astonishment, but her voice seemed to have frozen in her throat. She felt Kerry plucking at her sleeve, drawing her back out of the storeroom, and the door closed again.

She looked at Kerry, and realized that Kerry's face was an exact mirror of her own. "Oh...my...God..." Kerry whispered.

And then Abby burst out laughing. She didn't know which was funnier, the fact that Carter and Luka hadn't even noticed them enter and leave, or that Kerry Weaver was actually blushing about it. Her face was nearly matching her hair.

"Oh my God," Kerry repeated helplessly as Abby clutched her sides in breathless laughter. "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my -- I've got to stop saying 'oh my God'." A growing smile was consuming her face.

"Jeez, and to think I was feeling bad about cheating on Luka," Abby whispered when she regained her breath. "I know I should probably be really mad at him right now, but..."

The sound of Luka moaning deeply came through the closed door.

"...but I've never been more turned on in my life," Abby concluded.

"Same here."

They looked at the door again, then back at each other. A slow smile spread over Kerry's face.

"I think that we can have what we want."

Abby's brow furrowed in confusion and then she, too, began to smile as she saw the opportunity that now lay before them. "Okay, how do we handle them then?" she asked.

"I don't know about Luka, but Carter can't stand it when he thinks I'm angry or disappointed in him. He'll do just about anything to get back into my good graces."

"Luka can't stand it either. So you're saying we should make them think that we're upset?"

Kerry shook her head. "No, not upset. That would make them feel *too* guilty. We don't want that. We want to put them in a position where they won't refuse us. No, angry and disappointed should work. Do you think you can pull that off?"

Abby laughed, "Yeah, I can handle that. So, shall we knock this time?"

Kerry flashed her a grin, shaking her head. "Never underestimate the power of surprise, Abby."

Abby said, "Do we dare?"

Another of Luka's moans was heard, this one accompanied by a matching one from Carter.

"We dare!" Kerry declared, and turned the knob.

****************************
The two men were so intent on what they were doing that they hadn't noticed it when the door opened. John had closed his eyes when Luka began to fuck him in earnest, savoring the feelings that Luka's wonderful cock -- yes, John thought to himself, it's a cock, dammitt, not a penis. My patients have penises. My lover has a cock -- was creating within his body.

And then Luka stopped in the middle of a stroke, making a strangled cry as he did so, then slamming home as he murmured something in Croatian. John then felt Luka kissing him and he reached up and put his arms around Luka's neck, holding him in place even as he wrapped his legs around Luka's waist.

"That was great, Luka," John whispered against the warm lips. "Thank you."

He finally opened his eyes to look up at Luka, seeing that Luka's eyes were also tightly closed. And also seeing that there was a Hell of a lot more light in the room than there had been before. Tipping his head to the side, John looked at the door, his face becoming red as he looked at Kerry and Abby. The looks on the their faces were unreadable, but John knew that he and Luka were in a lot of trouble now.

"Luka."

"Hmm?" Luka tried to kiss him again.

John let his legs drop to the mattress.

"We have company."

"That's nice." Luka started to suck on John's earlobe, but John put his hands on Luka's shoulders and pushed him away. "It's Abby. She's here with Kerry."

Luka stared down at John and a few moments passed before those words sunk into his brain. Abby and Kerry were here in the room with them. He knew he couldn't turn around to face either woman. Dear God. What a way to be caught.

Kerry's arm was tired of holding the door open and she figured that the overhead light would be better than the light from the hallway. She let the door close, then reached for the switch, surprised to find it already in the 'on' position. Well, that explained the candle, she thought.

"Um, Kerry, we have a problem," Abby said.

That was an understatement. Two incredibly gorgeous men were on the floor naked in front of them, their bodies still flushed from their lovemaking, and they had both just agreed to not yet take full advantage of the situation. Kerry was beginning to think that maybe she had been too hasty in suggesting that she and Abby make the men suffer a bit before being allowed to atone for tonight.

"I left the key in the lock." Abby calmly said.

Kerry turned around and grabbed the doorknob, but it wouldn't budge. Like the men had been earlier, they were now locked in the storeroom.

"Well, this is unexpected," Kerry said as she turned from the locked door to gaze at John and Luka once again.

Kerry felt the stirring of desire as she realized she was locked in a room with two of the most attractive men she'd ever known, both naked, and a very cute woman to boot. Although she'd suggested to Abby that they give the men a hard time about it, she could feel her resolve crumbling, imagining the kind of "hard time" the men could give them...

She felt Abby's hand on her shoulder. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" she murmured, too softly to be heard by the men, and there was an undercurrent of lust in her voice.

Kerry opened her mouth to reply...

...and heard the doorknob turn behind her.

Abby and Kerry whirled to face the door, while John and Luka hurriedly grabbed for the blanket to cover themselves. The women stood as close to the door as possible, hoping to block the view of whoever was opening it.

The face of Frank, the desk clerk, appeared in the door and blinked in surprise at the first face he saw. "Dr. Weaver?"

"Frank!" Kerry exclaimed, wishing she were taller and wider, in order to screen the men from the clerk's sight. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"We've been hearing some weird sounds coming from the ventilation system, some kind of moaning or someth -- is that Dr. Kovac?"

Kerry looked back and saw that John and Luka were covered up to their chins by the blanket. They must have their clothes bundled under the blanket as well, because she couldn't see them. Trying to bluff it out, she replied, "Yes, and Dr. Carter. They've been locked down here for hours with no heat. That was them yelling for help you heard. Nurse Lockhart and I just found them ourselves, and then we got locked in, too! What the hell took you so long?"

"Sorry, it took me a while to figure out where the noise was coming from. Are they all right? Should I get some help?"

"No, no, we've got everything under control now," Abby broke in hurriedly. "Thanks anyway."

"Okay, I'll get back to work, then." Frank turned as if to leave, then turned back with a puzzled expression. "Are you sure they were yelling for help? 'Cause I heard a lot of cries for help on the job, and they didn't usually sound like that."

"The sound was probably distorted by the vents," Kerry told him.
"Happens all the time."

Frank nodded, but still looked puzzled. "If I didn't know better, I'd have thought it sounded like they were..."

"Get outta here, will you?!" Kerry yelled, losing patience.

"Okay, okay, I'm going," he said, raising his hands in surrender. "Sheesh..."

Kerry sighed with relief when he was gone. The logical part of her mind was glad they weren't locked in after all, but the passionate part was pissed off. Just when things were about to get sexy again, the interruption by the middle-aged ex-cop was like a cold shower for all of them.

The men were breaking into nervous giggles when she looked at them, and she thought she heard Abby repressing a snicker as well. "Distorted by the vents?!" John repeated, his face bright with hilarity.

"What are you laughing about?" she snapped, bringing their laughter to an abrupt halt. "Do you two know how close you just came to looking really foolish? I haven't seen such unprofessional behavior since Doug Ross left County!" She had to pause for a moment at the equation that brought to mind. Doug Ross plus John Carter plus Luka Kovac equals...ohhh, Kerry, don't go there now.

The men were dressing self-consciously, with matching hangdog looks on their faces. Kerry might have felt sorry for them if she wasn't enjoying it so much.

"The instant I found out, I dragged Abby here to release you," she lied, "but I think the two of you owe her an apology!" She hoped they wouldn't ask her to specify what for.

Both men mumbled shamefaced apologies to Abby as they finished dressing and started to exit the storeroom.

"Yes, well, we'll talk later, John," Abby replied tightly, arms crossed. To Luka, she added, "And you...we'll talk when we get home."

John patted Luka on the shoulder and muttered, "Good luck."

Luka nodded at him gratefully before Abby led him away. Behind the men's backs, Abby threw a wink at Kerry, and Kerry knew that Abby was going to have a great deal of fun making Luka squirm before letting him, ah, make her squirm in a different way.

"Hold on, Carter," Kerry said, taking his arm before he could walk away as well. "You and I have some issues to deal with. Drop by my office after your shift tomorrow."

He nodded, managing to look even more like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. She'd seen that look on his face before, and it always managed to make her melt her a little, wishing she could allow herself to take him in her arms and make it all better. But now she found herself deriving a perverse pleasure from inspiring that same look.

**************************

As Luka and Abby walked to his car, Luka tried to apologize to Abby, but she wouldn't let him. Putting her hand out in a 'stop' motion, Abby looked him straight in the eyes. "Not one word, Luka. Not one single word."

Abby spoke sternly, and she had to look away from the hurt that appeared in Luka's eyes at her sharp retort. Truth was, Abby was afraid that if they started talking about what had happened between him and John in the store room, then she would end up admitting to Luka how turned on she had been by the sight of them together. Even before she had become John's AA sponsor, Abby had entertained the occasional fantasy starring John. They had increased a bit once they became closer, but she had always put his emotional health ahead of her wants and desires. John didn't need to get tangled up in a relationship with her or anyone else. So, Abby had been content to settle for friendship and sweet dreams of John. Every now and then she would feel guilty over dreaming about John while lying next to Luka in bed, but those feelings quickly passed. She was with Luka and loved him. They were happy together. Content. Satisfied. And yet tonight each one of them had sought something out in another person of the same sex. She didn't know yet what had happened between Luka and John, but she knew what had been behind her evening with Kerry.

Partly, it had been a backhanded revenge against Luka, for being so possessive of her in front of John. Abby liked her men to be loyal to her, of course, until she gave them permission not to be. But the way he'd behaved so accusatory to John was an uncomfortable reminder of the way Richard was always jealous when he thought she'd been too friendly with someone. Like he wasn't fucking one woman or another behind her back at the time anyway...

She'd never have cheated on Luka with another man, knowing how much that would hurt him, but when a woman became available...well, that was different. Somehow, in Abby's mind, that wasn't quite the same as being unfaithful to him with a man. Sex with a woman was an experience that he simply couldn't duplicate, any more than Kerry's body could fully substitute for his. Maybe it was unfair of Abby to hold such a double standard, but dammit, that was how she felt! It was part of the same reason that she wasn't angry to find Luka with John. If she'd caught him with a woman, she'd never have forgiven him, but another man seemed fair. It was pretty much the same thing Abby had sought with Kerry. Not a replacement for their heterosexual relationship, but a supplement. An addition for variety, so they could enjoy the best of both worlds.

Was that the only reason she made a pass at Kerry, she wondered? That she was available at the moment that Abby was upset with Luka? No, the more she thought about it, the more Abby had to admit that Kerry Weaver intrigued her. Weaver had often struck Abby as a hard-assed bitch at work, but whenever her name came up in conversation with John, there was a real fondness in his face and voice. After talking with John, and hearing some stories of his life with Kerry, Abby had begun to see the ER Chief in a new light. Sure, she was still demanding and often inflexible, but Abby had become aware of the good heart beneath her armor. As well as the attractive body beneath her clothes.

When Kerry had been so forward and friendly to her, earlier, and her inhibitions had been loosened by their laughter, well, she'd just gone for it. Yes, Abby had to admit that she really did like Kerry. For all her harshness on the job, she could be funny, sweet, and loving when the circumstances were right. And she was excellent in bed, to boot.

The only thing wrong was that she insisted on being the boss all the time, in every situation. Abby liked Kerry, but she felt that if someone were to put her in a situation where she couldn't be in total control once in a while, it might do her a world of good. Maybe even remove some of those blocks that kept her from letting herself fall in love.

That thought was intriguing, and Abby thought maybe she could be the one to do it, perhaps with a little help from Tall, Dark, and Croatian here...

The drive home was silent, with neither one of them wanting to talk out of fear that the wrong thing would be said. The still falling snow was making the road conditions far from perfect and Luka was almost grateful for the need to concentrate on his driving. But his careful attention to the road didn't keep his mind from wandering. How could he have cheated on Abby? And with another man, no less? Oh, sure, he could try to find some excuse to reason away what had happened. Maybe say that it was a spur of the moment thing. A primal urge that just had to be met. And Abby might believe that. As long as she never knew how many times that primal urge had been sated. Luka could still feel the hardness of John's body under his hands. Still taste John's skin on his lips. Still see the look of wild desire and release that flashed over John's face as he came. Luka had made John feel that way. No one else. And John had done the same for him. Luka had felt a different satisfaction with John than what he ever had with Abby. Not a better satisfaction, just a different one. And God help him, it was one he wanted to feel again.

Abby sat in the passenger seat, stealing sidelong glances at Luka, seeing that he was deep in thought. Maybe he was remembering what he had done with John? Abby had certainly been having difficulties keeping her mind away from what she had seen them doing and she could only guess that there had been more. At what point in the evening did John and Luka decide to throw caution to the wind? From what Frank had said, they had been hearing those sounds upstairs in the ER for quite a while. She closed her eyes, letting the image of Luka making love to John linger in her mind. She wanted to see that again. And then some. A new fantasy was forming in her head, building on the one she had of her and John having sex together. Now Luka was in the picture as well, the three of them loving and laughing in her bedroom. Intense and serious in the kitchen. Giving each other all they had in the living room. And there was also that other new fantasy to deal with, Abby thought. The one of her and Luka with Kerry Weaver. Abby bit back a moan as a million images assailed her mind. If only she could find a way to convince Luka to be willing to let even one of those fantasies come true, then Abby could truly die a happy person.

Once home, Abby still wouldn't speak to Luka and it was driving him crazy. He didn't dare break the silence himself, unsure if she was angry with him. Or if she was going to make him move out. He didn't think he could go back to the hotel now. That room would seem too small and barren after having lived with Abby. When she headed to the bathroom to brush her teeth, he followed her, standing in the open doorway and watching while she got ready for bed.

Even if the mirror had not shown Luka's reflection, Abby still would have known he was standing behind her. She would feel every feeling Luka was projecting. There was concern, remorse, and even fear. It was the feeling of fear that made her think that maybe she should let up on him for a bit.

Sighing, Abby turned around. "I don't have to be to work until six tomorrow night, and you told me that you weren't on until midnight, right?"

Luka nodded, then cleared his throat, feeling a glimmer of hope now that Abby was speaking to him. "That's right."

"Let's get some sleep. We can talk in the morning." Abby pulled her pajamas out of her dresser drawer, then began to dress for bed.

Luka frowned as he watched Abby put on her nightclothes. That meant there was no chance for them to make love. Not that he thought he could get it up any longer. He was quite spent after all the times he had come with John, but Abby didn't know that. Luka also didn't like the idea of going to sleep while she was angry with him. "I don't want this, Abby. Going to sleep with you angry and upset with me isn't right."

"I'm not angry or upset, Luka. I am surprised, though. I really don't know what to say about tonight and I don't want to get into it now. I'm too afraid that I might say or do the wrong thing. I love you too much to risk that." She got into bed. "Let's both try to get a good night's sleep and we'll have a nice long talk tomorrow. By then, we'll both be seeing things a lot more clearly."

"You really aren't angry with me?" Luka asked, feeling unsure.

Abby smiled up at him. "I'm not angry, but we do have a lot to talk about in the morning." Number one on that list was the fact that Luka and John were having unsafe sex, not that they had a means to get condoms in the storeroom. But, Abby wanted to make sure that Luka knew he was going to be using condoms with her until he and John were tested for HIV and obtained negative results.

"Okay." Luka didn't want to sleep, but he saw that he wouldn't be able to budge Abby on this issue. He started to get ready for bed, wondering if he would be able to figure out how to tell her what happened. He had until the morning, so surely that would be enough time. Maybe by then he would even know why it was that he found it so easy to kiss John and have sex with him.

**********************

The next morning, John sat quietly in Kerry's office while she made phone calls to the appropriate parties confirming that he had missed his meeting for reasons that were entirely beyond his control; and that he had passed all recent drug tests, including the one she had him take after being released from the storeroom. She promised to fill out an incident report and have it corroborated by all the involved parties. After hanging up, she turned on her computer terminal and typed up a quick report, going over it with John and confirming with him.

According to the report, Dr. Kovac had asked Dr. Carter to help him retrieve some supplies from the storeroom, and the door locked behind them without warning. They called repeatedly for help, while using the blankets to keep warm. Nurse Lockhart, concerned that Dr. Carter had missed his meeting, had come looking for him, at the same time that Dr. Weaver was looking for Dr. Kovac to consult his opinion on a minor policy matter. They located the missing doctors in the storeroom, but were accidentally locked in themselves in the process, until Frank released them. Kerry concluded the report with a strongly worded recommendation that maintenance examine the lock on the storeroom door before further incidents occurred.

"Now that's some grade-A bullshit," she muttered when the report was finished and printed. It was nice and bureaucratic, without a hint of the polymorphous ongoings that had taken place.

John nodded, still feeling embarrassed. "Thank you for being so discreet, Dr. Weaver," he said. "I don't think my reputation around here could survive much more than it already has."

"Well, we couldn't have that, could we?" Kerry leaned back in her chair and regarded him. Her face seemed to soften for the first time, in that way he always found so deeply appealing. "So," she said after a while, "why, in all the time we lived together, didn't you ever tell me you had these feelings for other men?"

And John blushed all over again.

***********************************

"I don't have 'feelings' for men in general, Kerry," John was saying. "I mean, I'm not gay, if that's what you meant."

"I know you're not," she said, nodding her head towards the door to her basement. "I don't think Roxanne was a good enough actress to fake it that well."

"You could hear us?!"

"Vividly." She recited, " 'Oh God, John, yes, oh God, that feels so good, oh John...' Shall I go on?"

"No, please don't."

They were sitting in Kerry's living room, almost exactly where she had sat with Abby the night before. John had clearly felt uncomfortable answering her earlier question in Kerry's office, so she'd taken pity on him and invited him home for a friendly talk.

"I love women," he assured her. "I really do. It's just...sometimes I like men, too."

She nodded, understanding. "Same here." John looked at her in surprise. "Other way around, though," she clarified.

"You...like women, sometimes?"

She nodded again. "Does that surprise you?"

"A little," he admitted. "By now, I suppose nothing you do should surprise me, but...it does."

"Don't tell me you missed all the rumors about me and Kim."

"I heard them, I just thought it was idle gossip. And anyway, I try not to pay attention when people talk about you behind your back. It feels...I don't know, disloyal, somehow."

Kerry felt warmed by his words. Their relationship had been strained over the last year or so, to say the least, but John still cared for her... "Well, we were talking about you," she reminded him, seeking to get the conversation back on safer ground.

"Right. There have been times when I thought about it. Sex with men, I mean. It probably dates back to boarding school, when there were no girls around."

"But you've never been with a man?"

John shook his head. "I just dismissed it as a passing fantasy, you know, a variation on things in my imagination. I always thought that it was too big a line to cross. Like I could be one thing or another, but not both. Does that make any sense?"

"More than you think," Kerry assured him. "But you can be both if you want to, John. If it's something you want, and it doesn't hurt anyone, there's no reason you can't enjoy sex with anyone, man or woman. Take my word for it." At some point, she'd laid a hand on his arm, but couldn't remember doing so.

He bowed his head. "For a while," he began, "I was afraid I couldn't enjoy sex with anyone at all."

"Why?"

He chose his words carefully. "I haven't been with anyone since Lucy died, Kerry. Since I was stabbed. At first, I was still recovering, and so I was too weak. But even when my body got better, I felt...broken. I didn't think I could be effective, sexually." He wiped a tear away. "And getting addicted certainly didn't help. I couldn't even think about sex, only about getting my next dose."

Kerry felt the pain all over again, the pain that came from discovering she'd failed one of her closest friends. That she hadn't seen the signs right in front of her, that she hadn't acted sooner. She hadn't been there for him.

"While I was in Atlanta, I used to have dreams about making love again," he added. "And it was always someone from the hospital. Never Elaine or Roxanne or anyone else from outside. It was always someone I worked with. Sometimes Anna, sometimes Deb...excuse me, Jing-Mei...even Dr. Benton once. Occasionally, since I got back, it's even been Abby."

That made sense to Kerry. John had been spending a lot of time with Abby, and she was a very attractive woman...as Kerry knew well.

"But most often, it was you."

Kerry sat up sharply, drawing her hand away in surprise. "Me...?"

"Yeah." John looked at her. "I hope that doesn't make you feel uncomfortable, but the counselors keep telling us to be honest and deal with our feelings as they come up. Helps avoid the denial traps, or something like that."

"No, I understand." She cleared her throat. "You dreamed about making love with me?"

"Uh-huh. But then I'd always wake up alone, locked away in a strange city, and I'd feel completely alone and unloved again." He sniffled. "I think that's why I had sex with Luka when the opportunity arose...as it were." He chuckled mirthlessly at his own lame joke. "I wanted to feel close to someone, and to know that I could still do it."

"Well," she said, "it looked to me like your experiment was a success, in that regard."

John smiled at that, with the smile she loved. "Yes, it was," he said. "God, it was such a relief."

Kerry leaned closer and put her arms around him. "I'm happy for you, John," she said.

He turned more fully into her embrace, saying, "Thank you, Ker--" and their lips met.

There was a frozen moment as they both knew what had just happened.

Then it unfroze, and they kissed each other the way they'd always wanted to. Deeply, longingly, intensely. Both of them hungry for something that only the other could give.

Kerry found herself in John's lap and didn't remember if she had crawled there herself or if he had pulled her there. She didn't remember, and she didn't care. Either way, events seemed to be drawing them together.

John's lips left hers, pulling back slightly. "Kerry..." he whispered, and she loved the sound of her name in his voice. "I want to, but...are you sure? Isn't this inappropriate, somehow?" In his mind he was wishing, praying that she was sure about this. That there would be no turning away from what was about to happen.

There it was again, the curse of her position. She knew that, technically, he was right. The Chief of the ER shouldn't be getting involved with one of the residents under her authority. Sex with Abby, a nurse in her own ER, was risky enough, but sleeping with Carter while supervising him after his recovery was clearly against policy.

That was the final straw, as far as she was concerned. Policy had required that she throw John out of her house callously. It had kept her from remaining his friend. It had prevented her from being close to him during his physical recovery, and forced her to cruelly threaten to take his job away when she and Mark learned he was an addict.

Well, now she was in the arms of a man she'd cared deeply about and dreamed about in ways she'd never admit. She'd lost a piece of herself that night when she answered the door, just drunk enough that her guard was down, and saw that face, strangely altered ("Did you do something to your hair?" she'd asked - yes, he'd removed it from his chin). And now, after all those nights of lying alone in bed, wishing that she were the woman downstairs with him instead of that blonde bitch Roxanne, if policy demanded that she push him away again, then the time had come to say 'Fuck Policy'. She'd given up enough of herself in its service. Tonight, it was her turn.

"Frankly, John, I don't give a damn. Not anymore," she said, answering his question. "Now, take me to bed and make love to me. Make those dreams come true."

John nodded, knowing that words were not needed. He put his arms around her and slowly rose to his feet, smiling as Kerry wrapped her legs tightly around his waist.

Then he carefully made his way up the stairs, not wanting to risk tripping over his own two feet. And yet he was afraid that Kerry would change her mind before he could reach her bed.

Her bed. Kerry's bed. A bed he had dreamed about being in. And now he would be there. This wasn't a dream anymore. This afternoon his dreams, dreams that had been within him for years, would become reality. If nothing else ever happened between them, John would know that he would have this time to treasure and remember until the day he died.

John never let his eyes leave Kerry's face as he gently deposited her on the bed. He was so intent upon her that he barely registered how her room looked. The only sight that mattered to him was the look in her eyes, that hungry desire for him. The way her lower lip was slightly trembling, the way her nipples were hard against her shirt. He knew that if he was bold enough to touch her lower right now that she would be wet. Wet for him.

Kerry suppressed a sigh as John straddled her legs and leaned in to kiss her. His lips felt soft as they met hers and then she felt his tongue gently brush across her lower lip, caressing it. She opened her mouth, inviting him inside, her hands grasping his shoulders as if she were afraid he would float away if she didn't hold onto him.

John chuckled, ignoring her blatant invitation as he let his lips trail kisses down her neck. Her hands were squeezing him so tightly that he knew he would have bruises come the morning. He unbuttoned her blouse, following the opening of her shirt with his mouth until he reached the waistband of her slacks. They had now scooted to the middle of the bed, with Kerry's head resting on the fluffy pillows propped against the headboard. Hooking his fingers under the waistband, John slowly lowered the fabric, smiling at Kerry's impatient thrusting up of her hips to facilitate his attempt to undress her. Not wanting to cause her any discomfort, John quickly pulled the pants down to her thighs, then he slowed once more, inching the material lower as he kissed the soft insides of her thighs, deeply breathing of her scent. One kiss was tenderly placed where her silk panties molded to her body, then his tongue stroked the material, the wetness of his mouth meeting the wetness of her body and Kerry moaned.

Kerry closed her eyes tightly as she felt the heat from John's tongue touching her through her panties. She wanted him to finish taking her clothes off, wanted him to enter her already. Kerry wanted all of him, and she wanted all of him now. "John...please?" she said, her voice breathless for she knew that she would surely die if she didn't have him now.

"If you're sure," he said, and then his tongue left her body. But he didn't hurry then, he returned to the slow torture of her patience by kissing his way down her legs, giving attention to each one as they were uncovered.

Finally she was lying there before him wearing only her bra and panties. And he was still dressed, an infuriating miscarriage of fairness, in Kerry's opinion. She had seen plenty of his body in the storeroom. Saw how flushed his face and body were from the sex with Luka. And Kerry wanted to see John's body that way because of her and only her. Too many nights had passed with her hearing Roxanne's cries of pleasure. Too many nights where Kerry had found her own hands stroking the core of her pleasure as she imagined John in bed with her, loving her in ways that he had never loved any other woman.

"I want to undress you now," she said, looking up into his dark eyes, unable to read the expression she found there.

John shook his head. "Not yet. You got more than an eyeful of me last night. Now it's my turn." And he ran his hands up her thighs and under her panties, caressing her hips with his long fingers. When he pulled his hands back down, he took the silk material with them, tossing the pants onto the floor with the rest of her clothing. Then he gently pulled her up into a sitting position and lowered the straps of her bra, kissing the rise of each breast as it was revealed to him.

Kerry was about to scream from all that John was doing. His slow seduction was about to drive her crazy and she was beginning to understand why Roxanne had been so vocal down in the basement. The man was a sadist by going so slowly. When he finally reached around to unhook her bra, she took advantage of his nearness and latched onto his neck, kissing and sucking just below the edge of his shirt collar.

John moaned and let his hands lightly skim over the skin of her back as she teased him. He had dreamed so often of doing this, of driving Kerry crazy with desire, of slowly bringing her to a sweet release and then starting all over again. He had never gotten any complaints from his girlfriends, yet now he felt as if he were a schoolboy with his first lover. He wanted so much to please Kerry. Wanted to hear her cry out his name as she came. Wanted to feel her fingernails digging into his flesh as her orgasm overcame her and she was lost in another place. John didn't want to disappoint. Not today.

He gently disengaged Kerry, making sure that her head landed on the pillows as he pushed her onto her back. John then got off the bed and began to undress, his eyes on Kerry the entire time, noting the swift rise and fall of her breasts as she breathed, the pink tinge to her skin as her desire for him betrayed her. Kerry liked to think that she was a fortress, too strong to be breached. But John knew better, he knew that she cried, knew that she laughed. Living with her had shown him so much of the woman that was kept hidden from the world. And it was that woman that he loved. He had loved Kerry for a long time, even though he had been too cowardly to let her know. But he didn't dare give voice to those words. Didn't dare to give Kerry a reason to send him away, especially not now. So, he silently gazed upon her body, noting how the afternoon sun was coming through the slats of the blinds on the window and creating a tantalizing effect of shadow and yellow-orange light on her body. Crawling back between her legs, he began to kiss her thighs, determined to give her the most intense pleasure she had ever experienced at the hands and mouth of a man. Determined to make her his, at least for the afternoon.

And maybe even for forever. He could dream, couldn't he? And sometimes, dreams did come true.

Luka woke from a deep sleep, momentarily disoriented. He wasn't used to sleeping this late. Partly, he was accustomed to being awakened by his alarm clock blaring the local country station that Abby liked, demanding that he get up and get ready for work. Abby must have turned off the alarm, he realized, remembering abruptly that they both had the day off today. So she must have let him sleep in.

Then he remembered the other reason he'd slept so soundly; his body was still pleasantly drained from that intense sexual experience with John Carter the previous evening. And that brought back the issue that was hovering over Abby and him, the one they'd gone to sleep without discussing. Suddenly, he didn't feel quite so refreshed.

Rolling resignedly out of bed, he pulled on the blue velour robe she'd given him when he moved in. It wasn't really to his taste, but it was a welcoming gift from her, and he made a point to wear it mornings when she was home with him. Right now, a conciliatory gesture seemed like a wise move. Tying the belt around his waist to keep the robe closed, he ventured out of the bedroom, toward the small kitchenette.

Abby was there, wearing her matching bathrobe. She sat at the counter that served as a table, sipping coffee. She looked up at his entrance, gave him a cool glance, then returned her eyes to the morning paper.

Luka sighed, not looking forward to the upcoming conversation. But it had to be done. "Abby..." he began.

"Yes?" she replied, not looking up.

"I know you must be hurt," he said, "in spite of what you said last night."

"No, I'm really not," she insisted, still not turning to face him.

Far from relieving him, her words just made Luka feel worse. Why did women have to do this passive-aggressive thing when they were angered? "Is it a moral objection?" he asked. "I mean, do you have something against homosexuality for religious reasons?"

"Ah...no, I honestly don't," she said, with a strange tone in her voice that he couldn't identify.

"Because I promise you, the fact that I had sex with a man doesn't change anything about how I feel about you. I still have just as much desire for you as I ever did."

He saw her shoulders tense.

"But I understand completely if you don't feel the same," he backpedaled hurriedly. "You have every right to be angry, even disgusted with me, but I'm hoping you can find it in your heart to forgive me."

Abby was fighting hard to keep from laughing out loud. It was so charming the way the big lug insisted on being penitent. Luka could be perfectly modern-minded in a number of ways, but he also had that wonderful old-school streak of chivalry that wouldn't be satisfied until she blamed him and punished him for his actions. Oh, all right, she thought. Might as well get some fun out of this.

Putting her face straight with an effort, she swiveled her stool around to face him. "Luka..."

"I was wrong," he forged on. "I was wrong to be jealous of you with Carter, I was wrong to yell at him..."

"Luka..."

"...but most of all, I was wrong to let myself be tempted, let alone act on it..."

"LOO-KAH..." she enunciated, finally getting his attention. "Shut up and come here."

He approached her with some trepidation.

"Down," she ordered, pointing sharply to the floor.

He knelt obediently in front of her without speaking, like a dog instructed to sit.

"Do you want to be forgiven?" Abby asked coldly.

He nodded. "Yes, I do."

Abby uncrossed her legs, letting her robe fall open. She was naked beneath it, her knees spread. "Make me come, right now, and I'll consider it," she stated.

Luka had hope, then, that they were going to work things out between them, but he didn't want to ruin things by saying anything. He followed her instruction, leaning forward so his face was between her thighs. He kissed one, then the other, feeling the marvelous softness of her skin beneath his lips. Her hand was on his head, fingers running through his dark hair, pulling him in closer. He let her guide him in until he could taste her, running his tongue over her most sensitive areas. He could feel her moan as much as he could hear it.

Abby hooked one leg over his shoulder, the sole of her foot rubbing against his back as he pleasured her. She normally preferred lengthy foreplay when having sex with Luka, but right now, she had a more immediate need. And with her head still full of erotic visions of Luka moving and thrusting against John, interrupted occasionally by a flash of Kerry Weaver, she didn't have any trouble maintaining arousal. Luka's tongue was driving her wild, as always.

Luka took hold of her hips and pulled her tighter against his mouth, driving his tongue deeper into her, and sensing the nearness of her climax. When she writhed and shuddered against him, he knew it was imminent, and sure enough, she let out a deep-throated groan of pleasure as her orgasm rippled through her. Her fingernails dug into his scalp, then relaxed.

He kissed his way up the length of the body he'd come to adore, tasting the faint traces of her perspiration, breathing in the musky scent she released when aroused. The hard peaks of her breasts tried to divert him in his path, but he continued up to her mouth, and was about to kiss her...

"Uh-uh," she declared, her lips almost but not quite touching his. "Not so fast, mister."

Fighting the feeling of disappointment, he carefully released her, and she sat back on her stool, her robe still wide open.

"Okay, let's talk," she said, shifting from excited lover to stern taskmistress with surprising ease.

Luka nodded and stood. "All right."

Abby leaned forward, slipping her hand inside the folds of his robe to take hold of his erection. "As long as you and I are lovers," she told him, giving it a squeeze for emphasis, "I've got the right of first refusal on this."

Caught between the enjoyable physical sensation and the sense of foreboding, Luka merely nodded again.

"That means you don't go sticking it into anyone without consulting me first. Understand?"

"Yes."

"My husband cheated on me," Abby said, sounding more serious now. "And I swore I'd never take that from anyone again."

"Abby, I never meant to..."

"Hey! I'm still talking!" she snapped, silencing him.

Cowed, he held his tongue.

"The only reason I'm going to forgive you for fucking John Carter..." she went on, and then her face suddenly developed the wickedest grin he'd ever seen on her sweet face. "...is that it was the hottest, most incredible thing I've ever seen in my life."

And then he knew for certain that things would be okay. His erection seemed to grow even harder.

"So," she added, letting go and sitting back again, "I've got a choice to make. I could throw you out of my apartment and tell you we're through. Or...I could accept your apology and your promise that you'll never again have sex with another person without my approval for as long as we're together." She took a foil-wrapped condom from the pocket of her robe and held it up. "Then I could put this on you and enjoy some great make-up sex, firm in the knowledge that you'd learned your lesson and would be a good boy from now on. Now, which would you choose if you were me?"

Luka considered that one kind of a no-brainer, but just to be playful, he said, "Umm, can I have a minute to think about it?"

She actually laughed at that, peeling open the small packet as she unbelted his robe and let it fall open. With swift, gentle movements, she rolled the latex onto his length, then stood up and let her robe fall from her shoulders. It puddled on the kitchen floor, leaving her standing naked in front of him. His own robe joined hers a heartbeat later.

Abby slid her arms around Luka's neck as he put his hands under her buttocks and lifted her off her feet. She kissed him at last, signifying that the problem was entirely behind them now.

"I love you," he whispered when they parted. "And I swear to you I'll never touch Carter, or anyone else again."

"Well, now," she said with a sly grin, "I've got my own ideas about that. But we'll talk them over...later..." Her voice trailed off as he lowered her onto his shaft, the first inch sliding in easily.

"Oh, you do, do you?" He lifted her up slowly, then lowered her down again. Another inch.

"Uh-huh..." she gasped, wrapping her legs around him. Up. Down.

"What kind of ideas?" Another inch.

"You...me...and John..."

Excitement flared brightly within him as he realized she was having fantasies almost identical to his own. He grunted as his entire length was suddenly inside her, eliciting a sharp gasp from her.

"Or...maybe Kerry...?"

That thought made him pause. Like many men, Luka enjoyed the idea of two women in his bed, but he had always assumed that Abby wouldn't approve of the thought. It was good to hear she was open to the possibility, but...Kerry Weaver? She wasn't unattractive, but he had a hard time picturing her as a sexual person. All that came to mind were their multiple clashes over policy, or patient treatment. "You really think..." he said, raising Abby up again, "she'd be good in bed?"

"She sure was," Abby gasped, as he impaled her once more.

Luka froze.

There was a moment of horrible awareness as she realized what she'd just confessed.

"Was?" Luka repeated, and there was no more coyness in his tone. "Abby...you had sex with Kerry Weaver?"

Abby did something he'd never seen her do during their lovemaking before. She blushed, deeply.

"You were enjoying yourself with her...while I was locked in with John? And you've been letting me feel like a dung beetle all this time, thinking I'd betrayed you?" His voice was rising. "While you were off somewhere having sex with another woman?!"

"Are you mad?" she said in a much smaller voice.

Luka knew he probably should have been furious at the thought of Abby, his Abby, in a passionate embrace with the tempestuous redheaded ER Chief...the thought of the two women naked together, arms around each other, breasts rubbing against each other, kissing each other deeply...but it was just causing him to swell even more within her.

"Does it feel like I'm mad?" he replied, pressing her back against the wall. He thrust his tongue into her mouth even as he thrust himself more vigorously into her below. She clutched at him, pulling him tighter against her and moaned into his mouth, sucking on his tongue and contracting around him.

Turning abruptly, Luka lay her back on the cool tiles of the kitchen counter, the muscles in his arms burning as they relinquished her weight. He picked up the pace of his movements, driving into her more forcefully, enjoying his turn in control. "You two-faced... devious...little... minx..." he grunted, hoping he'd gotten all the English words right. Even if he hadn't, he figured that either she'd get the gist, or she wouldn't be in a position to care.

"Luka," she gasped, clearly fighting to get coherent words out, "just fuck me, goddamn you..." He was polite enough not to point out that he was already doing just that. He'd long ago discovered that Abby, as sweet as she was most of the time, could be wonderfully foul-mouthed during sex.

And then they were into the zone where words are impossible, only the pumping and building toward a climax that overwhelmed them, bringing the most animalistic of reactions out of them both. A screaming, twisting, clawing, straining explosion that paid off all their efforts, everything they had expected and more, then left them spent and aching deliciously.

"Ohhh, Jesus," Abby whispered, swiping strands of her own tangled, tousled hair out of her face. Luka muttered something in Croatian, which she assumed translated pretty close to her own sentiments. She tried to lift herself up onto her elbows, and he helped her into a sitting position. Leaning into his embrace, she kissed him gently and repeated his earlier words. "I love you."

***********************************

Dressed in his pants, shoes and coat, John was sitting on the back steps of Kerry's house, gazing out into her garden and smoking. When he had lived here before, he would often work out in the yard, doing chores that Kerry couldn't quite handle. He could look at different areas and see where the ground he had turned over for planting had become lush beds of flowers and foliage. Pity that it was now winter and none of it could be seen. But, he knew what lay under all the snow. He smiled as he heard the door open and then Kerry sat down beside him, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"You really need to give that up," she said, indicating the cigarette in his hand.

"I know. Every time I try, something happens to make me want it even more." He shrugged. "I figure that I need at least one vice left to me."

"And what was it that we finished a mere thirty minutes ago?" she asked with a smile, letting her hand run up and down his thigh.

"I've never considered making love to be a vice, Kerry. I consider it a...necessity."

"Well, I consider heat a necessity, too. Come back inside."

John helped her to her feet, then followed her into the kitchen where it was warm and cozy. He had loved her kitchen, even though he wasn't any good in it. He slowly grinned as he thought of something that he might be good at in the kitchen, even if it wasn't cooking. He quickly pulled off his coat and stepped out of his shoes, hoping he could reach her before she turned around.

Kerry was at the sink, filling the coffeepot with water. "When are you on?" she asked, somehow unable to remember the schedule.

"Midnight. I'm free from now until eleven."

Kerry could feel the heat of his body through her robe as he leaned against her and took the coffeepot out of her hands to set it on the counter. Then he untied the belt of her robe and his hands were on her body. They were cold, but it wasn't the temperature of his hands that was making her body break out in goosebumps. Rather it was the places where he was putting those hands and the way he was lightly kissing her neck. His palms were rough from so many washings and they rasped against her erect nipples, sending new shivers down her spine.

"John," she began. "We should go upstairs."

"Nope," he lightly replied. "I've always wanted to take you in your kitchen, Kerry. There was many a morning when I sat at that damn island and watched you make breakfast while naked. Well, in my mind you were naked. And so was I."

Kerry giggled as she saw the image as well. "And? Did I do anything kinky with breakfast?"

"Kinky? No. Nothing kinky. You let me pour the breakfast shake over you and lick it off your body. Like this." He turned her around, then dropped his head to lick his way from nipple to nipple."

"What a pity it's not breakfast time," Kerry murmured. "And what did I do to you?" she asked.

"Do to me?" He grinned. "You did everything to me, Kerry. But I think the part I liked best was when you spread cream cheese on my cock and then licked it off. Very slowly."

"Plain or flavored?" It was difficult to follow the conversation with the way he was sucking on her breast.

"Hmm?"

"The cream cheese. Plain or flavored?"

"Both," he said around the nipple in his mouth.

"You're obsessed with food, aren't you?" she asked with a laugh.

"I'm obsessed with you." John lifted his head and kissed her deeply, liking the way it felt when her fingernails dug into his skin as she held him near.

"Kerry, can I tell you something?" he asked when they finally ended the kiss.

"Sure."

"When you admitted how you felt about other women...admitted that you had been with Kim. Well, I..."

"Felt turned on by it?" she asked.

John nodded. He hoped he wasn't blushing. After all, Kerry had seen him with Luka, so she wasn't really a prude, and she had admitted to having enjoyed sex with another woman.

"I was turned on the minute I saw you and Luka." She said.

John could feel his face flush. "Oh." Then, seeing how easily she had admitted that, he found the courage to admit more to her. "I'd like to hear about how it felt when you were with Kim. What you did."

"Oh, really? Wouldn't it be better to know about the last woman I was with?"

John's brows knitted together as he tried to remember if there had been any rumors about Kerry with another woman besides Kim. He couldn't. "Who?"

"Abby."

John had to retreat to one of the stools to sit down after that last admission. Kerry saw how his face had paled and she quickly tied her robe closed, then went to him. Standing in front of him, she looked him straight in the eyes. "Are you shocked? Disgusted?"

John shook his head. "No. Surprised maybe. I'd never thought that about Abby. Then again, I never thought that about you, either. When?"

"Last night."

"Oh." While he and Luka had been together, then. Suddenly he laughed. "What a group we are, huh? Me and Luka and you and Abby."

"Abby likes you, too, John." Kerry wasn't sure why she brought that fact into the conversation. Perhaps to gage John's feelings, see if he would jump at the chance to be with Abby. See if he would be quick to leave her behind.

"I like Abby a lot, too, but she's in love with Luka. And I'm..." he caught himself in time, stopped himself from saying those words. "And I'm still aroused."

Kerry looked down at the bulge in his pants. "So, I see. Tell me, just how much did you and Luka do last night?"

"We did everything." John quickly admitted. Then he paled once more as he belatedly realized that he and Luka had sex without protection, and so had he and Kerry. "Oh, my, God, Kerry," he said. "I'm sorry. I wasn't even thinking about condoms earlier. What if..."

"Shh." Kerry placed her fingers against his lips. "Don't worry about that right now. We'll remember to use condoms next time."

John kissed her fingers, his heart torn in two. While he was delighted that Kerry wanted a 'next time', he was still mortified that he had been so lax.

Kerry undid the button of John's slacks, then slowly lowered the zipper. When he had hurriedly dressed to go outside, he had neglected to put on any underwear, so she was able to reach inside his pants and immediately touch him. He was so hard and she could feel that the front of his pants were slightly damp from the pre-ejaculate. She leaned in to kiss him on the mouth, pushing down on his waistband to get his pants off. He stood long enough to allow them to fall to the floor, then let her push him back onto the stool.

Kerry took a step back and looked at him with a grin. "My turn to see all of you," she informed him.

"A very flawed all of me," he commented, gesturing at his surgical scars.

"I don't see any flaws, John. Not a single one." Then Kerry braced her hands on his thighs and slowly lowered her body until she was kneeling in front of him. As she had figured, having John sit down put his cock at just the right height for her. She grasped it firmly in her hand, then slowly sucked the tip of it into her mouth, tightening her lips around it before letting her tongue flick the tip. His moan of pleasure let her know that she had found something else he liked, and she continued to take all of him, sucking and licking her way down the shaft.

John ran his fingers through her short hair, the contrast of red against his pale skin unnoticed as her tongue drove him to distraction. There was no comparison between this and what Luka had done to him last night, although he wasn't adverse to ever having a chance to more intimately compare the two. He gasped as Kerry's mouth left his cock and engulfed his balls, gently rolling them around in her mouth. A new sensation swept up from there as a vibration began in his balls. Kerry was humming and it was about to drive him crazy. He was sure that one more touch or lick from her would send him over the edge, which is why he whimpered when her mouth left him and she pulled away.

"Please don't stop," he whispered, his voice strangled by his need for release.

"I'm only just beginning," Kerry assured him. "Close your eyes."

John closed his eyes, waiting to feel what would happen next. He would do anything for Kerry, anything. Especially now that she held his climax in her hands, so to speak. He heard her move around the kitchen, heard the door of the fridge open and close, heard the water run in the sink. He was tempted to open his eyes, but he didn't. He trusted Kerry completely.

He yelped when something cold was smeared along the hot shaft of his cock, and a strawberry scent assailed his senses. "Flavored cream cheese?" he asked.

"Strawberry. It's my favorite." Kerry said, then she began to lick it from his body, not satisfied until she had all of it consumed. John let his head fall back as his climax was once more delayed by the coldness of yet more, this time to his cock and balls. His hands were tightly gripping the edge of the island as Kerry worked him over, using her tongue to knead the condiment into his skin before slowly removing it.

"God, Kerry. I've got to come." He muttered.

"Soon, John." Her voice drifted up to his brain, but it didn't fully register. He was too far gone for conscious thought. Just when he thought that he couldn't take it any longer, when thousands of lights were beginning to go off inside his skull, her mouth was replaced by something else warm. She was gently washing him off with a cloth. This was an entirely new sensation, yet his body was so on edge that it didn't take long for his arousal to reach a crescendo once more.

This time, Kerry had no intention of stopping. Having liberally coated her hand with vegetable oil, she slowly inserted a finger into John's anus, going straight for the prostate, slowly stroking it while her head bobbed up and down on his engorged cock. She wasn't going to let Luka's image be the only one that John would associate with anal pleasure.

John let go of the counter and grabbed Kerry, his fingers tangled in her hair as he screamed out. It might have been her name, he wasn't sure. But he did know that he screamed and then those thousand points of light exploded in his balls, cock and head and he came. Kerry stayed where she was, drinking from him, not letting a single drop of his semen spill. His body was shaking and his heart racing, yet he managed to pull Kerry to her feet. He crushed their mouths together, his tongue probing into hers, wanting her to know that he didn't mind tasting himself in her mouth.

"God, I love you," he whispered, then he mentally berated himself as he felt her body tense in his arms. He had ruined it. He knew he had. Would she believe that he didn't mean it? He had to hope so. "I loved everything you just did."

He kissed her again, as felt her body relax once more. Hoping that it was a sign she believed him, he stood and took her by the hand to lead her upstairs.

Kerry gently disengaged her hand from John's. "I need some coffee."

"But, you did all the work. Don't you think it's your turn?"

"You said you had until eleven, and it's not even three yet. I have plenty of time for my turn again." She said with a grin.

John couldn't help but grin back. If Kerry was willing to let him stay, then that meant she didn't think that he meant he loved her when he slipped up and said those words. He reached for his pants, but a 'tsk' from Kerry's direction made him stop.

"I want you to sit down and watch me move around the kitchen," she said.

John laughed as he sat back down on the stool. "But in my fantasy, you were also naked."

"Who said anything about *your* fantasy," she teased. "This is a part of mine." She put the coffee on, then faced him again, a devilish look on her face. "I think I might need you to get something for me."

"Oh? And what might that be?"

"There's a bottle of extra virgin olive oil on the top shelf." Kerry pointed to the cabinet next to the stove. "I need it."

"And you want me to get it down for you?"

Kerry nodded, feeling more than eager to watch his long naked body stretch as he retrieved the bottle.

"And can I get you anything else while I'm up?" he asked as he walked over to the cabinet.

"You're not *up* yet, John. But when you do get that way again, I might be able to find a thing or two you can do for me."

John handed her the bottle, then leaned in for another kiss. "If you were fulfilling my fantasy and walking around the kitchen naked, then I would be *up* a lot faster, Kerry."

"I'm sure you would be. But, I'm not looking for speed, John. I'm looking for longevity." And with that, she sent him back to sit down, then tried to figure out what she could make them for dinner. For some reason, a meal that could easily be licked seemed to have great appeal to her.

***********************************

"Did you mean what you said earlier?" Luka asked Abby as he finished dressing. He had some errands to run, and, as he said, it was too beautiful a day to spend indoors, even considering the company.

"What did I say earlier?" Abby replied, running a comb through her hair. It was still slightly damp from her shower, but she didn't want to use the hair dryer again.

"About bringing John or Kerry into bed with us."

"Oh, that." She somehow looked embarrassed at the thought. "Yes, I did, if that's all right with you."

Luka nodded, seeming to think about it. "Either way, that promise I made goes for you, too," he said, firmly. "You don't go sleeping with either of them without me, all right?"

She nodded. "That's fair. As long as we agree beforehand, it's okay. Otherwise, it's infidelity, like my ex."

He smiled that deep, warm smile that made her tingle all over. "In that case, I wouldn't object to a...what do you say, three people?"

"Threesome."

"No, the French-sounding word. Manage..."

"Menage a troi? I think that's how it goes."

"Yes, thank you. Hard enough mastering a second language without butchering a third." He kissed her goodbye and left, promising to return in a few hours with dinner fixings.

Abby stretched out on her worn, but comfortable, sofa, picking up the bestseller she'd begun reading. But she couldn't concentrate on the book much, and she put it down a minute later. Her mind was still full of the notion of adding another lover to their bed.

Kerry Weaver still held some intriguing possibilities...but it was John who was uppermost in her mind. As much fun as women could be, men were still her first choice, all other things being equal. Particularly when combined with the man she already had. And John's need for love seemed greater, or at least more immediate, than Kerry's. Abby didn't love Luka any less by admitting that she'd had an attraction to the young resident almost since she met him, and talking so closely with him during his recovery had only deepened it. Yes, if anyone was going to be her first choice for their new bedmate, it would be him.

That choice made, Abby let herself relax, catnapping briefly as she pondered the thought of how to bring John Carter into things...

When John finally dragged himself out of Kerry's bed, it was a little after eleven. He had to rush through another shower, and as he did, his mind kept remembering the earlier shower he and Kerry had shared. As much as he had enjoyed his day with Kerry, he found himself hoping that she didn't join him again. He really did want to get to work on time. John didn't want there to be any hint of favoritism to show in his relationship with Kerry, and if she let him get by with showing up late for his shift, then that would look suspicious.

Only after he had gotten dressed in the bathroom did John return to the side of Kerry's bed. She was half-asleep, but as he kissed her goodbye, she woke up.

"Is it that time already?" she asked. A slow and sensual stretch followed that question and the covers slipped down as her breasts rose, exposing pale flesh and ripe nipples.

"It sure is." John replied. Then he kissed her again, letting his lips go from her mouth to her throat to her breasts. He wanted one last taste of her before he headed out.

"I guess I'll see you in the morning then." Kerry's voice betrayed the tight control she was trying to keep on her emotions and her body. What John was doing was making her wet for him and she had to fight back the urge to pull him back into bed.

"You're on at six or seven?"

"Seven."

John nodded, then straightened. "I'll lock the door behind me as I go out. I'll see you later."

"Right."

The awkward good-byes out of the way, John left. Kerry lay awake in bed, her hands touching all the places that John had touched with his hands and mouth. Being with him had been wonderful and she wondered why she had never given in to her desire for him before. By strictly following policy, she had deprived herself of something very special and good over the past year. And once again, she thought that if she had been willing to be with John before, then maybe he would have handled things better after getting stabbed. She would have been there for him. Been there to see him in a setting where his defenses would be down. She could have kept him from falling through the cracks, she knew that with all her heart. And she would be there now to keep him from falling.

Rolling over, Kerry thought about that for a bit. Being there for him meant that they would have a relationship. Something permanent. One look into his earnest eyes told her that John wanted that. The question was what did she want? Sex with John was all she had ever imagined it to be, but did she want the emotional commitment? Did she want to take the risk of John hurting her when things didn't work out?

************************************

Luka was putting on his lab coat when he heard the door to the lounge open. He didn't have to turn around to see who it was -- he knew it was John. The way that the footsteps stopped just inside the room was the first giveaway. Another giveaway was his smell, and Luka felt his cock twitch as he took a deep breath. Abby wanted him to be with John again. Wanted *them* to be with John. Together, just the three of them. But, would John be willing?

Luka shut his locker, then turned to watch as John fumbled with the combination on the lock of his door. They were all alone in the lounge, so Luka felt it was safe to talk about things.

"So, how did things go with Kerry? Did you get into trouble over missing your meeting?"

John shook his head. "She straightened all of that out." John turned slightly to look at Luka, willing himself to make eye contact with the other man. The truth was that in spite of all the great sex he had with Kerry earlier, he was still attracted to Luka. But, he knew that he couldn't let Luka know that. It wasn't fair to either Luka or to Abby. And it especially wasn't fair to Kerry. "Luka, we need to talk about last night."

Luka nodded. "Yes, we do. How about..."

He was interrupted when the door opened and Haleh stuck her head in the door. "MVA coming in. ETA five minutes. Malucci's out sick, so it's just you two and a few med students."

"What about Benton?" John asked, knowing there were usually two attendings per shift, and that Mark and Kerry had worked earlier.

"He took a hot MI upstairs and I don't know when he'll be back." The door closed and they were once more alone.

"Well, we'll talk later, okay?" John asked.

"Sure." Luka watched John walk out of the lounge, still putting on his lab coat. A surge of jealousy welled up in Luka as he remembered the way John's eyes had lit up when he had asked about Kerry. They had been intimate with each other and for some reason that angered Luka. *He* wanted to be the next person to touch John. Even now it had been so difficult to not push the other man up against the lockers and kiss him senseless. Now *that* would have been an interesting sight for Haleh to have seen when she interrupted them.

Determined to corner John later for a long talk, Luka left the lounge to get ready for the incoming trauma.

The MVA's were followed by an influx of flu sufferers, then more accident victims as the early morning hours rolled on. At six, Abby left for home and at seven Kerry came on shift. And still Luka never had a chance for that talk. It almost seemed as if John was avoiding him, although that thought struck Luka as odd since John had been the one to first bring up the fact they needed to talk. Yet, when noon arrived, there was still no sign of John. Luka left for home determined to try again on their next shift.

Which didn't happen because John changed shifts with Chen, putting himself on opposite hours from Luka. As the week wore on, Luka vented his frustration to Abby.

"I know he's avoiding me. Has he spoken to you? You two have been working the same shifts."

They were in bed in the early afternoon as it was the only time they had together, considering their present shifts. Abby was curled up at his side as he stroked her hair with one hand and her hip with the other. "John hasn't said anything to me that hasn't been AA related. And even then, he hasn't said much." Abby admitted. She hated seeing Luka look so defeated. Getting together with John had become important to Luka, more important than she had guessed. As much as she wanted to have sex with both men, she felt that Luka needed to have John talk to him. Needed to have him acknowledge that what they had done had not been a mistake and was something he wanted to do again.

"Do you want me to talk to him?" she asked.




At the hospital, Kerry was sitting in the lounge, pretending to do chart reviews. Most of the staff knew to leave her alone when she was surrounded by charts, and she found it easier to hide from John if she was pretending to be busy. She had to decide just how she was going to handle John. Last night had been another incredible night for her. John had been just as loving, caring and passionate as he had been the first time they were together. And, once more, he had murmured that he loved her. Kerry knew that no matter how much she liked having sex with John, she couldn't let him waste his time in a relationship with her. A relationship that would go nowhere. She didn't love him. She refused to love anyone anymore. It was a case of 'been there, done that', and she had had her heart broken one too many times. So, no. There would be no 'love affair' with John Carter. And no matter how much it made her melt inside when he whispered her name repeatedly as he made her come, she couldn't let him waste his time on her. He deserved the chance to have a relationship that would grow into something more than a vent for built up passion and unbridled lust.

Just yesterday, Kerry had spoken to an AA representative and asked about why they were so stringent in their insistence that a recovering alcoholic not get involved in a romantic relationship during the early stages of their recovery. Surely, she argued, having someone to be there for them was a good thing, and not a hindrance. The rep quickly set her straight on that, informing her that someone who was recovering from any type of addiction needed to focus their energies on getting better and not on maintaining a relationship. Above all else, Kerry didn't want to be a setback for John. He was an outstanding doctor, and a relapse could spell the end of his career.

So, she was left with deciding on how to tell him that she didn't want him to come over any more. She was left with finding a way to lie to him and tell him that all she wanted from him was sex, and now that he had met that need in her, she no longer needed him. Already she could see the way his eyes would sadden, hear him plead with her to reconsider things. She knew that turning John away would be one of the most difficult things she would ever have to do, but Kerry was determined to do it. It was safer that way; for everyone concerned.


At the Carter mansion, John was getting ready to leave for Kerry's house. He had gotten home from work thirty minutes earlier, but in his mind, he had already wasted too much time changing clothes. Knowing that he needed to say good night to his grandmother, John went in search of her, finding Millicent in the library, and he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek as he said goodbye.

With a definite twinkle in her eyes, she asked "And are you going to be out all night...again?"

John grinned. "I hope so. You don't need to worry about me, Gamma. I'm not out there doing anything wrong."

"I'm not worried, John. As a matter of fact, I'm quite happy." Millicent reached up to gently caress his face. "I'm very happy. I've never seen you as at peace with yourself as you've been this week. Whoever she is, I'm very grateful for that alone."

"Thank you. I'm very much in love with her, Gamma."

Millicent laughed. "I can see that. So, who is this lucky young woman?"

"I can't tell you just yet. You'll get to meet her soon, I promise."

"I'd better. Since she's monopolizing all your free time, I'd like to see for myself what she's like."

"You'll like her, Gamma. You really will. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" And after another hug and kiss, John was on his way out the door.

As John pulled to a stop in front of Kerry's house, he grinned as he remembered the short conversation he had with his grandmother as he was leaving the house. With a lightness to his steps, he bounded up the sidewalk and onto Kerry's porch. To him, it felt as if it was taking forever for Kerry to open the door, but he knew it was merely his impatience, and not a true lag of time.

Finally the door opened and Kerry stood there. She nearly took his breath away, dressed in a soft dark green sweater and slacks. Her hair softly framed her face and her eyes looked vulnerable as she peered at him through her glasses. He was already looking forward to removing those glasses and running his fingers though her soft hair just prior to claiming her mouth with his lips. He leaned toward her, intending to kiss her, but she pulled back and he ended up giving her a quick peck on the lips. He immediately began to worry that something was wrong. She had been fine when he left work. A bit preoccupied with chart reviews, but fine nonetheless. Could something bad have happened between then and now?

"Aren't you going to ask me in?" he asked.

"Of course." Kerry turned and walked away from the door, setting off more alarms in John's head. Something was very wrong, he thought as he stepped into the warmth of her house and shut the door behind him, closing out the world.

"Kerry? Is something wrong?" John asked as he walked into the living room. Kerry had already taken a seat in a chair, another departure from their recent, yet, normal, routine. Every other night they sat on the couch together.

"We need to talk." Kerry said, her voice shaky. She had thought that telling John they couldn't see each other any longer would be hard, but she didn't know it would be this hard. This painful. Already a look of doubt and fear was in his eyes and it cut her to the quick to know that she had put that look there.

But Kerry knew this was for the best, and it was far better to put up with that look now than the one that would haunt his eyes when he fell even further in love with her and then had his heart broken because she was unable to reciprocate those feelings.

"You should have a seat." Kerry gestured to the couch and waited for John to sit down. Once he was settled, still looking fearful, she began. "I've been giving this a lot of thought, John. A lot of thought. I don't want you to think that this is a conclusion that I've easily reached."

In his mind, John began to pray. "Don't be breaking up with me. Please don't be telling me to leave." He could hear Kerry's words, see the pained expression on her face and the wary look in her eyes. She was dumping him. The most wonderful thing to have ever happened to him was telling him that he wasn't good enough. At least that part was familiar, the not being good enough.

He held up his hand, gesturing for Kerry to stop talking. "Please, there's no need to say anything more. You don't want to see me again, right?"

Kerry drew a deep breath. "Not really. I *do* want to see you again, John. But I know that you want more than just casual sex from a relationship. And as long as we're together, that's all you'll ever get. I don't love you."

God, that hurt, he thought. He looked down at the floor, remembering how they had made love there just the other night. It had started with them getting playful on the couch while watching a movie and quickly progressing to some of the hottest sex he had ever had. But to Kerry it had only been 'casual', while to him it had been a part of making love to her. John mentally kicked himself for letting his true feelings show. He had known that Kerry wouldn't be running to claim her love for him, but he had hoped as more time passed, she would admit to feeling the same way. And now he was finding out that she had never really cared about him at all.

John abruptly stood. "I have to go. I'll see you at work." How would be able to face her at work every day? Walking into the ER and seeing her would feel the way it had felt the first time he had walked into Curtain Three after being stabbed. He knew it would make him feel trapped and panicked. It was difficult enough now to work with Kerry and not be able to touch her, but it was going to be so much harder to work with her and know that she only wanted a romp in the sack. And to think that he had been fooled by her tender touches and soft whispers of pleasure.

Without waiting for an answer from Kerry, John headed for the door, and was out of the house and to his Jeep before she reached the door. As he got into the vehicle and started the engine he could see her standing in the doorway, watching him leave. For a brief moment he found her image to be that of a lonely woman, but he quickly pushed that away. Kerry, as usual, was getting what she wanted. She had wanted to be the Chief of the ER and she maneuvered things until she got it. She had wanted to fuck him, probably because she had wondered what it would be like to fuck a guy who she had caught with another man -- well, she had got that, too, didn't she? And now she didn't want him around any more, and she was getting that. If that left her standing there alone, then it was her own damn fault, wasn't it? With a squeal of tires, John pulled out into the street, not sure where he was going. He knew he couldn't go back home. Couldn't face his Gamma and her questions about why he was home so early. About why he was home period. He'd find somewhere else to go until he knew that his family was asleep, and then he would sneak into the house. As he headed down the street, he reached for a cigarette, needing the calming effects of the nicotine more than ever before. Hands shaking, he pushed the lighter in, then impatiently waited for it to be hot. When it popped out, John yanked it free of the dashboard and lit the cigarette, inhaling deeply. Wishing he had something else there to numb his mind so he wouldn't have to think about how bad it hurt to know that he had once more been used and tossed aside.

Kerry stood in the doorway until she could no longer see the red taillights of the Jeep. The night air was frigid, but she barely noticed it. All she could see were John's expressive eyes telling her that she had hurt John very deeply. That had never been her intent. Maybe he would turn around and come back to talk her out of sending him away? John was stubborn. He wouldn't just accept this. Five minutes passed. Then ten. When fifteen minutes had gone by Kerry turned back into the house, firmly closing the door and securing the locks. John wouldn't be back tonight. John wouldn't be back. Just as she had wanted.

Kerry went to her kitchen and opened the liquor cabinet. She selected an opened bottle of scotch and poured herself a tumbler full of the smooth liquid. She leaned against the counter and downed the glass in two gulps, then refilled it again. Turning off the lights, Kerry made her way to her bedroom.

Setting the glass on the night table, Kerry looked around her room, finding it a lonely place after being filled with John for so many nights recently. Just as her house had felt lonely after she made him move out when she was appointed Chief of Emergency Medicine. In the weeks that followed her appointment and John moving out, Kerry would find herself wandering down to the basement and resting on the bed -- John's bed. It was the only place where she could find peace in those days. His smell lingered on the mattress for weeks, yet when Kerry sought comfort there after John was stabbed, she swore that she could still smell his scent. It had probably been her overwrought imagination. There was no way a man's scent could linger that long.

Kerry reached out and grabbed the pillow that John usually used at night. Holding it up to her mouth and nose, she took a deep breath, inhaling his unique smell. It was all she had left of him. Not that she missed him already -- she didn't love him. She had been truthful with him when she told him that. She was merely reacting to his absence, and the fact that her words had hurt him, that was all. The ache in her heart had nothing at all to do with the fact that it was breaking in two.


John drove aimlessly and suddenly realized that he was driving around in circles. And the block he was circling was the one where Abby lived. He needed to talk with Abby. If he didn't, then he wasn't sure what he was going to do -- the *need* for something to take away his pain was becoming too great. He hadn't felt this way since April and the first time he had taken too much of his pain meds. John hastily parked, then ran up the steps of the apartment building, making his way to the third floor. At the door to Abby's place, he didn't hesitate to knock and ring the doorbell. Repeatedly. She had to be home already. Her shift ended at midnight and it was almost one.

When the door was roughly jerked open, John wasn't sure who was the most surprised - him as he looked at Luka, or Luka as he looked at John.

"I thought you were working the late shift," John said.

"I'm starting back to the day shift tomorrow morning. I had the day off. Come in."

"I'm looking for Abby." John tried to look over Luka's shoulder to see if Abby was inside, but all he could see was the dimly lit living room.

"She's not home yet, but she should be here any minute. She was late leaving the hospital." Luka was glad that Abby had called him when she found she was running late. He would have been worried sick over the fact that she was due to be off at midnight and had not shown up at home by one.

"Oh. Sorry to have bothered you." John started to turn away, but felt Luka's hand on his arm.

"You can wait for her. Come in." Luka flipped on the light switch as he practically pulled John into the living room. He didn't like the pained and dull look in John's eyes, or the tenseness of his body. Something had happened to set him on edge and Luka didn't think it would be a good idea for John to be out wandering around alone. Especially if he had been so desperate that he came here to see Abby rather than calling her.

John stood still in the living room of Abby's apartment, not really paying attention to his surroundings or the fact that Luka was closing the door. Luka had to touch him on the shoulder to get his attention. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I asked if you wanted something to drink? We have juice and milk. I can make coffee if you want that," Luka said.

John slowly shook his head. "I don't want anything," he said. Then his lips quivered and he bit his bottom lip hard in an effort to not cry in front of Luka. He wanted Kerry and nothing else. But he could never have her, Kerry had made that much plain.

"John?" Luka was now standing in front of him, worry etched on his face. "It's going to be all right."

John vigorously shook his head, his eyes stinging from the unshed tears. "It can't be all right." John might have been fine even after admitting that much, but then Luka took another step toward him and wrapped his arms around him, holding him near. "Oh, God!" John broke down sobbing, leaning heavily into Luka's embrace. He could feel Luka's hand smoothing his hair as he kept telling him that it was all right to cry and let it all out.

At some point, Luka managed to get them both to the sofa where he continued to hold John, doing what he could to comfort him. For John, it was a reminder of the night of the intervention when he had collapsed into Peter Benton's arms. The resemblance was compounded when Luka began to kiss the top of his head, but John didn't remember getting hard from Benton's kisses. He was definitely getting hard from Luka's, even though he knew that Luka didn't intend them to be sexual in nature. All of the desire and feelings that John had been pushing aside with regard to Luka bubbled to the surface, and he lifted his head in time to catch one of those kisses on the lips.

And that was all the invitation that Luka needed. Abby had already given him permission to bed John. And she was due home any minute now, so the possibility still existed for her to also be with John tonight. But, right now, John needed physical contact, Luka could see that. John needed someone to love him, and Luka was more than willing to be that someone. Tonight and any other night when John might ask.

Luka pulled away from John, then stood. John looked up at him, confusion now mixing with the pain in his eyes. Luka nodded. "It's all right, John. I want you, too. Come." Luka held out his hand and a heartbeat later John grasped it.

Getting to his feet, John embraced Luka. "Please make the pain go away, Luka. Please?" John's whispered plea held a note of desperation.

"Yes," Luka simply replied as he pushed John's coat to the floor and then began to work on the buttons of his shirt. Luka paused long enough to lovingly caress John's warm skin before continuing his undressing. John tried to help get himself undressed, but Luka only allowed a little of that. He wanted to unwrap his own present, thank you very much. And then John was there before him, naked in all his glory. Luka's eyes saw past the physical scars and only saw the essence of the man before him. "You are so beautiful," Luka whispered as he leaned in to kiss John fully on the mouth again. He let one hand grasp John's buttock, pulling him closer while the other hand reached between them to stroke his still hardening erection.

And then they heard the key turning in the lock. John jerked his head away from Luka, panic in his eyes. "Abby?"

Luka nodded, then smiled. "Abby. It'll be all right, John. Abby wants you, too." And Luka turned his head because he wanted to see the look on Abby's face when she saw John standing naked in the middle of her living room. Together they would love him, and then they would find out what had happened to send him out on the streets in the first place.

"Abby? Wants me?" How had he gone from being rejected by Kerry to being told that two people he had the hots for also desired him? If only...if only Kerry could feel that way, too. Hell, the problem was that Kerry *did* feel that way. She just didn't feel anything else but desire for him.

Before Luka could respond, the door opened and Abby stepped into the apartment. Luka could feel the tension in John's body as the other man tried to bury his face into Luka's shoulder. Even through the material of his shirt, Luka could feel the heat emanating from John's face and he knew that his friend was feeling embarrassed. Keeping both hands in place, Luka lightly kissed John's neck, but his eyes were on Abby he had noticed the way her eyes had lit up the minute she had seen who was in his arms.

Abby quickly shut the door and locked it, then dropped her purse and coat to the floor. She walked over to Luka and John, her eyes not missing the fact that Luka was casually caressing John's butt and that John was trying to get out of Luka's embrace.

She tenderly touched John's back, letting her fingers linger over his scars. She then pressed up against him, trapping his body between hers and Luka's. She could feel John trembling and she wondered if it was from being cold or something else.

"John, it's all right. We want you here," she softly said next to his ear, then she let her lips trail across his shoulders, wishing she were taller so she could kiss his neck. She had only been able to get this close to his shoulder due to the fact that he was still hiding this face in Luka's shoulder. This wouldn't do at all.

"John? Look at me." She waited, but he didn't move. Abby looked up at Luka, her eyes silently pleading for his help.

Luka shrugged, dislodging John from his shoulder, then quickly turning John around so that he was now facing Abby. Now Luka was able to use both hands to stroke John's cock and balls.

"That's better," Abby said, smiling. "John, Luka and I both want to be with you. And I've already seen that you desire Luka, so there's no shame there for you. And I can assure you that I've had many fantasies about you, too."

John was looking at Abby's feet, but now he forced himself to look her in the eyes. "I don't want fantasies, Abby. I don't want lust. It's not what I need right now. Right now, I need...I need to be numb, Abby. I don't want to feel anymore." He was close to crying again, the pain of Kerry's rejection threatening to overwhelm him. He knew he wasn't making any sense with what he was saying to Abby. He needed to be loved, but that wasn't happening. At least not from Kerry's direction, and that's who he wanted to have loving him.

Not that he didn't care about Abby. He did. She was a great friend and had been a wonderful sponsor, being there for him even when her life was less than perfect. And Luka had been...incredible, that one night. Being with Luka was something that John had not quite been able to put out of his mind. And there had been times when he wasn't sure he wanted to do that. It was a memory he wanted to cherish.

"It's all right to feel that way, John. The important thing is that you haven't done anything to reach that feeling. Right?" Abby asked.

John nodded. "I came here hoping to talk to you, and Luka was here and you were late and then Luka offered me something to drink but I didn't want anything except to have Kerry love me and then I started crying like a baby and the next thing I knew I was standing here like this and then you were home." John rambled on and didn't shut up until Abby pulled his head down toward hers and kissed him long and hard.

At first, Abby felt as if she were doing all the work and then John responded to her, his tongue battling hers and winning as he claimed her mouth. Abby's arms wrapped around him, and she used one hand to stroke Luka through his clothing while the other hand stroked John's back.

Luka hated losing touch with either John or Abby, but he wanted to get undressed. Stepping back from the couple, he quickly shed his clothing, then he stepped around John and began to unbutton Abby's pants since John was already working on her shirt. Working together, the trio managed to get Abby undressed in record time.

John closed his eyes, simply letting himself feel the warmth off the fingertips of his friends. The way they were touching him made him feel as if they really did want him, really did care about him. And he needed to think that right now, even if it turned out not to be true. He threw himself into his passion, pushing Kerry to the back of his mind as he concentrated on pleasing both Abby and Luka. The three of them would seem to merge into one being with six arms and legs and at one point John became aware that they were in Abby's bedroom and on the bed.

Cradled in Luka's arms, his back flush against Luka's chest, John sighed as Abby's mouth closed around his hardness while fingers were busy working a cool substance into his skin, preparing him for being penetrated. It didn't matter to John if it was Abby or Luka prepping him. All that mattered at that moment was that it felt good and he knew Luka would soon be inside of him, their bodies becoming one again. He idly wondered what Abby would be doing while Luka was loving him -- would she continue to use her mouth on him until she brought him to his orgasm or would she try to find some way to mount him while he was being mounted by Luka? Even though John had tried, and enjoyed, many positions during his lifetime, he had never before been faced with the problem of finding a position so he could simultaneously be loved by a man and a woman. Was it even possible? With a grin, he found himself hoping to find out very shortly.

Luka knew he should be thinking about making this as pleasurable for Abby as it was for he and John, but at the moment all he really cared about was getting inside of John and making him moan again with delight and pleasure as he had the night in the store room. Aware that Abby was liberally applying lubricant to John and also to his condom encased penis, Luka was thinking of a new way to try this. While he and John had been in the storeroom for a long time, it hadn't been long enough for them to try having sex in every conceivable position. Luka gasped loudly as Abby's hand firmly grasped his cock and pulled it toward John's opening. It took only a slight change of position for Luka to be able to penetrate John's tightness, and he could feel his cock harden even further when John groaned and urged Luka to go deeper, wriggling his hips to help his own cause, taking Luka in a bit faster than Luka would have preferred. When they were fully joined, Luka found that he was half on his back and half on his side, and so was John. It was a position he had enjoyed many times with Abby and he found it to be just as effective with John. Wrapping his arms around the other man, Luka could easily tease John further, toying with his nipples and caressing his smooth skin. When he reached down to stroke John's cock, he discovered that Abby was busy there. It was a painful discovery because Abby apparently didn't want to share that part of John's anatomy and she nipped at Luka's fingers with her teeth. Luka heard a growl, but he was never sure if it came from Abby or John. Not that it mattered, he thought, grinning. Both of his lovers were wild animals when it came to sex. And he wasn't complaining about it one bit.

Abby smiled around John's cock as Luka jerked his hand away. "Serves him right for poaching," she thought. *This* is all mine. Not that she had any intention of letting John reach completion yet. She planned to toy with him, bringing him to the brink of release and then backing off. Whenever she tried that with Luka, he would be quickly begging her to let him come and she wondered just how long John would last before he reached the begging stage. Not that it would matter since she had no intention of letting him come in her mouth. When he came, she would be on top of him, fully enjoying him. She had so often fantasized about being loved by him that the mere thought of not having that happen tonight was almost more than she could handle.

Luka raised his body enough to be able to reach John's mouth once he turned John's head toward his own. John moaned into that mouth, parting his lips enough to let Luka's tongue into his mouth just as he was letting Luka penetrate his body with his cock. Between what Luka's kiss, cock and hands were doing, and what Abby was doing with her mouth, John felt as if he would explode from unreleased passion. He could feel his own orgasm approaching and he cried out when Abby suddenly stopped what she was doing and then gripped him tightly just behind the balls, cutting off the flow from his testicles to his cock and stopping anything from happening. After what felt to be an eternity later, her mouth returned to his swollen member and he whimpered as he felt her tongue lap at the tender head. Between the sensations that were radiating from his prostate and his cock, John was floating on a sea of lust and desire. He closed his eyes and let himself be carried away, not coming back to his senses until he heard Luka's breathing grow ragged and then felt his hips slam into his backside.

Luka was panting into John's ear, mumbling something in Croatian as he pulled John against his body tightly while he emptied his seed into that tight and hot space. Once he was sure that his orgasm was over, Luka gently disengaged himself from John, then slipped out from under his body to go to the bathroom to dispose of the condom. When he returned to the bed, he saw that Abby had pushed John to his back and was now lowering herself onto his still rigid cock.

Luka stretched out across the head of the bed, curling his body around John's head so he could reach both of his lover's. He lowered a kiss on John's forehead, then lazily stroked his hand over John's chest while taking in how flushed with desire Abby appeared. She was intent on what she was doing, moving slowly on John's cock, making small rocking motions that were driving the man insane with want and need. John kept whispering his urges to her, begging her to go faster and harder, to fuck him, but she ignored him. Luka knew that Abby was waiting for the whispers to raise in volume and he reached out to stroke what he could reach of her breast. The rest of it, and its twin, were cupped in John's hands. Such capable and able hands. Hands of healing, and hands of pleasure. Luka caressed the hand nearest him, taking in the masculine strength of it as he remembered how it had felt to be caressed and teased by that hand.

Abby looked down through half-open eyes, seeing Luka and John below her. Luka's face was still relaxed from his orgasm, his eyelids half-closed, and a satisfied look playing around his lips. But he was still touching John. Touching her. God, it felt so naughty and good all at the same time to have John inside of her while Luka was watching, stroking both of them with his hands. As for John...his eyes were glazed over with desire and a sheen of perspiration was covering his face and chest. He kept whispering for more, but Abby wasn't ready for that yet. Not ready for this ride to end.

Abby felt a warmth in her toes, and it slowly moved up her body -- her legs, her hips, her breasts -- and then she exploded inside as an orgasm rocked her body. She stopped what she was doing to John and allowed her body ride out the spasms that had engulfed her.

As Abby's muscles contracted tightly against his cock, John held completely still below her, knowing that the slightest movement right then would bring more pain than pleasure to Abby. He watched as her face changed from a look of intense pleasure to a look of intense satisfaction. He could see Luka's hand softly caressing Abby's side and felt his other hand caressing his shoulder and neck. When Abby had come, he had been nearing the crest of his own pleasure, and now he teetered there, sure that one movement on her part would send him over the edge. As much as he had urged her on so he could come, he now wanted her to stay still so he could prolong the pleasure.

After a few quiet moments where all John could hear was his and Abby's own rough breathing and Luka's quiet breaths, John heard himself whisper, "Now, Abby. Please?" And then Abby was smiling down at him as she slowly raised her hips. When they lowered back down, he cried out her name, his entire body on fire as he came inside of her, over and over again.

The sensation had been so intense that it wasn't until Abby had returned from the bathroom with a warm cloth to wash him that he realized she had left his body and removed the condom as well. And then John found himself flat on his back in the middle of the bed, snug under the covers and cradled by the bodies of his lovers.

"Okay, now can you tell us what happened?" Abby gently asked as she lightly stroked his belly, stretching her arm from time to time to touch Luka's body as well. As it was, she was having to fight Luka's hand for room to move on John's body, because Luka was also caressing John. Touching him to let him know he was loved.

"Is it that important?" John asked. He really didn't want to relive the coldness of Kerry's voice as she had summarily dismissed him from her bed and life. Didn't want to feel the pang of emptiness, as he knew she didn't care about him in the same way he did for her.

"John, you showed up here half crazy with the need to talk with Abby because you were afraid of breaking down and seeking out drugs. Something had to have happened to put you in that state of mind," Luka said. He kept his voice firm, hoping that John would respond to the sound of authority. "Well, Abby's here now, so you can talk to her. And I promise I won't judge you if you'll let me stay here with you while you talk."

"Please don't leave me," John turned his head to look into Luka's eyes, his own eyes pleading for Luka to stay. "I...need to have you near. Both of you."

"Then I won't leave. But you need to talk to us, John."

John nodded at Luka, then looked up at the ceiling. "Kerry. She...she said she still wants to see me, but that it can never be anything more than just sex. And I thought it hurt to be dumped by someone. Being told I'm not good enough for someone to stick around for is nothing like being told I'm only good for one thing. She doesn't care about me. Not like...Hell, I...I love her. I've loved her for a long time, and lately I thought she had come to feel that way about me. But she doesn't. She just wants the sex, and at this point in my life, that's not what I want from her. From anyone."

John looked from Abby to Luka. "I know this sounds strange, but I really do care about you guys. I don't know that I could call it love, but I do have feelings for the both of you. I've never really been into sex for the pleasure itself. I need the intimacy...the warmth and caring. I thought I had that with Kerry, but now she's telling me that I don't. God, I feel like such a fool." John hastily wiped away a tear that had slipped from the corner of his eye.

"I guess that's a pretty lame thing to make me want the shelter of drugs, huh? Being told I'm no more than a body. But what she said hurt me, and I just wanted to escape from the hurt and the pain and the memories. Just like before."

"Oh, John." Abby softly kissed his shoulder. "I'm sorry. No, it's not a lame thing. You're going to discover that the simplest of things can set off that craving. Things that would never occur to you to be a cause of that reaction. Some of it is tied in with PTSD and some of it isn't. But you did the right thing in coming here, in seeking out your sponsor."

From the other side of John, Luka quietly nodded. He was feeling slightly guilty over all the times he had felt any jealousy over the fact that Abby was John's AA sponsor. Seeing first hand how an emotional jolt could effect an addict told Luka just how much John needed Abby. Mirroring Abby's action, Luka kissed John's left shoulder, letting his hand drift lower on John's body until he could caress John's balls, hoping to get another reaction out of John's body. Abby had the pleasure of taking John before, and now Luka wanted his turn.

John tried to ignore the pleasurable sensations that Luka was stirring up within his body as he tried to talk with Abby. She understood so much better than anyone else could. He knew that he had promised her that he would keep her as a sponsor until he could find a man to take the position, but he didn't want to give her up. And not just because they had just experienced some great sex. But because she had been there since the stabbing. Abby knew him almost as well as Kerry knew him. No. He took that thought back. Kerry obviously didn't know him, or she wouldn't have led him on the way she had. If she couldn't love him, well, then forget her. He would just find that comfort elsewhere. Such as here in bed with Abby and Luka, who had no problems declaring that they had feelings for him that went beyond sex.

John turned his head to capture Luka's mouth while his hands reached out for his lovers. With one hand in place to tease Abby and the other fondling Luka, John felt safe and secure. With them, he could forget about how much losing Kerry's love, or rather, losing the chance to have Kerry's love, had hurt him. With them, John could regain his strength and composure. With them, John could feel loved.

********************************

"Do you think it's all right to leave him alone?" Luka asked her after John had departed.

Abby nodded. "I think so. He's gotten past the crisis point."

"Are you sure? Last night, he was a wreck."

"I'm sure. Nights like that will happen sometimes in any recovery. The important thing is, he came looking for help, and he got it. We can't stop him from hurting, just help him let it come out in the right way."

Luka nodded, not entirely convinced, but willing to accept Abby's judgment. Her own experience with addiction made her viewpoint more insightful than his own, he knew. But he could also tell she was still troubled by something. "What is it?"

"I'm just puzzled by what happened between John and Kerry. Something about the way John described her actions didn't sound right..."

He frowned. "Why not?"

Abby didn't answer him for a minute, thinking it over. "What Kerry told him. It's not right," she replied, helplessly.

"No, of course it's not," he agreed. "But, as much as I hate to admit it, I don't think we can blame Kerry for this. It's not like she just used him and dumped him. He said she still wanted to see him, and if she honestly didn't have any deeper feelings for John, at least she was honest and up-front about it, instead of leading him on."

She scowled more deeply, still in thought.

"I know we're only hearing John's side of the story, but it sounds like they went into a relationship with different expectations, and when she realized his feelings were different than hers, she told him the truth."

Irritated, she shook her head. "I'm sorry, I don't buy it. I can't see Kerry doing that."

Luka sighed and sat down beside her. "Abby, you told me yourself she didn't get emotionally involved with her lovers, right? I know you're angry at her for hurting John, but..."

"Kerry wouldn't do that to John," Abby stated firmly, surprising herself with her conviction. "I could see her getting physically involved with anyone else -- you or me, for example -- and keeping it on a casual, friendly-sex-only basis, but not with John Carter. Not with him."

"How can you be so sure? You told me she'd admitted being attracted to him..."

"Yeah, but she also knows how personally he takes his relationships. Kerry's known John longer than you and I put together, she shared a house with him, for God's sake! And she's no stranger to all the things that have been happening in his life this past year. She couldn't possibly be so ignorant of how he'd feel if they had a relationship. She'd know damn well how it would affect him."

"And if she did...?"

Abby just looked at Luka.

"No," he agreed, answering his own question. "You're right, Kerry would never deliberately enter a relationship with someone while knowing it would hurt them, no matter how strong the physical attraction. She's insensitive sometimes, but never that cruel or heartless."

"Right. So why did she do it?"

"Well...maybe she really didn't know how he felt about her."

"Luka..."

"Abby, she didn't know about his drug problem, did she? You had to tell her and Mark Greene about that. I agree with you about Kerry's intentions, but I think you might be giving her too much credit for her judgment."

She had to admit he had a point. Maybe it was possible; a lot of unexpected new attractions had been discovered the night she locked the men in the storeroom. Abby had a flush of warmth, recalling the time she'd spent in bed with Kerry Weaver -- God, that was good! -- and then the intensely arousing sight of her two favorite men having sex with each other. Kerry, Abby remembered, hadn't been satisfied in bed the way she had, and she was similarly aroused by the male coupling. Perhaps her pent-up sexual energy had overridden her restraint and good judgment, and she'd taken advantage of John without meaning to do so...?

"No, there's more to it than that," she insisted, thinking back to her brief conversation with Kerry Weaver on the way to the hospital. Kerry had claimed she'd never been in love. 'It just doesn't seem to happen,' she'd said. But it wasn't said coldly, or boastfully. Kerry had seemed almost regretful about it. As though some part of her was hoping it would happen one day. And there was that look on her face when they'd discussed Carter over cocoa, before they went to bed... "I think she does have feelings for him, after all. I think she's just afraid of them."

"How can you be certain? You haven't known her all that long, have you?"

"No, but...John has. He knows her. If he thought she felt something toward him..." But then, again, John's judgment might also be off somewhat during his recovery... There were so many 'ifs', it made her head spin. "Oh, hell, I don't know," she admitted. "Maybe we should just let it go for now."

"I think that's a good idea. Overthinking things can make them even more difficult sometimes."

They let the subject drop after that, as they prepared for work. But Abby felt that niggling little certainty, down deep, that Kerry Weaver's feelings for John Carter were stronger than she'd admit.

Even, perhaps, to herself.

Kerry awoke slowly, feeling the return of the familiar emptiness. She'd come to live with it, and it was so much a part of her familiar world that she hadn't noticed it until it was gone, the void filled by the welcome addition of a lover. But now it was back in force.

She rolled creakily out of bed, reaching for the stereo remote. A former tenant had rigged it so she could use the remote from any room in her house, and the first thing she did, most days, was to fill the space with music. Aretha, maybe, or Grace, or Whitney. Passionate, strong women's voices that banished the silent loneliness. She remembered putting a Tina Turner CD on the five-disc changer the night before. A good rendition of "Proud Mary" or "What's Love Got To Do With It" could normally wake her up faster than a hot cup of coffee.

But today, she let it sit. Some masochistic impulse compelled her to fully experience the emptiness.

Staggering into the bathroom, she looked at herself in the mirror, feeling her age keenly. "Waking up alone is a bitch," she said out loud.

Takes one to know one, her reflection snarled at her. The way you slapped Carter away...

Okay, fine, so I'm a bitch, she thought, bitterly turning away from those accusatory eyes. But at least I told John the truth. I didn't string him along, thinking I was in love with him. She told herself several times that she'd done the right thing, but her body...her heart...didn't believe her.

Kerry fixed herself a bowl of cereal for breakfast - when she had guests or boarders, she liked to cook, but when it was just for herself, she ate simply and plainly. Over shredded wheat, she glumly considered her impending return to celibacy. She could handle that if she absolutely had to. God knew she'd done it before.

Three years since Ellis, another lover she'd pushed away at the first pretext. Three long, lonely years with only her fantasies to comfort her, then the unexpected opening of a new door by Kim Legaspi. The lovely blonde woman who'd shown her a new side of herself. That relationship, too, had ended soon after it had begun, and then there was John. John, John, John...

No, wait, there was someone else. That brief encounter with Abby Lockhart, some nights ago. Kerry smiled wryly to herself, remembering with some frustration how their coupling had been curtailed before her end of things could be consummated.

Say, that raised an interesting line of thought. Abby still owed her; she'd had her fun under Kerry's attentions, and had promised to reciprocate when she could. They'd spoken idly of getting together again on the drive to the hospital, and even hinted that Luka might join them - now THERE was an attractive prospect!

Of course, it was possible Luka might not be interested in such a threesome with her. Or maybe he wouldn't approve of his girlfriend sleeping with Kerry. If that was how it was, then Kerry would just have to accept that. As much as she enjoyed sex, she didn't want to screw up Abby and Luka's relationship over it. Well, it never hurt to ask. If it didn't work out, it didn't work out. But she was fervently hoping it would.

Sex with Abby and/or Luka seemed especially attractive right now, since there wouldn't be any emotional baggage involved. She would just be an interesting variation for them, and casual sex was about all Kerry could deal with right now. Even if it was only Abby, that would be no problem; Abby had said that her interest in other women was only recreational, not romantic, and that was all Kerry was looking for.

The more she thought about it, the more her hopes rose, and she resolved to approach the other woman at the first opportunity. Even a temporary sexual partner was better than none. The thought of being alone for another three years was more than she wanted to deal with.

* * *

"Hi."

Abby looked up from the coffeepot and the cup she was pouring. "Oh, hi, Kerry," she said with a tired smile. "Want some?"

Given the reason for her approach, Kerry thought that was a natural straight line, but she just held out her own cup and said, "Sure, thanks. How's your day been?"

"Oh, you know, the usual. It'd be okay, except Malucci keeps treating the nurses like they work for him, instead of with him."

Kerry nodded understandingly. "Talk to Lydia or Haleh," she suggested. "They've got some tips on how to put uppity residents in their place."

Abby frowned reluctantly. "I dunno, I don't think those two like me much."

"Yes, they do," Kerry assured her. "They just like to give you a hard time to pass the day, is all. Honest."

"Okay," the nurse said with a relieved smile. "Thanks."

There was a moment when either of them might have walked away and ended the conversation, but then Kerry said, "So, I was wondering if you might like to have some cocoa with me again sometime?"

Abby's eyebrows went up just a touch, showing she read Kerry's meaning perfectly. "Oh, yeah, you mean like last time?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"We never did finish our...conversation, did we?"

"No." Kerry let herself smile ever so slightly. "We didn't."

"Sure," Abby told her. "I'd like that."

"I mean, if that's all right with Luka, of course," Kerry hastened to add. "Or...do you think he likes cocoa, too?"

Abby's smile widened. "I think he might like some. Extra strong, and extra sweet, just the way you make it."

Kerry almost blushed at the devilish glint in Abby's eye when she said that, and she was glad no one else was in the lounge to overhear. She smiled and turned to go back to work.

"You know," Abby said behind her, almost hesitantly, "John is especially fond of your cocoa..."

Kerry froze, stiffly. The smile and the warm glow vanished. "Yes, well," she said, "that's all over between us now."

"Yeah, he told me," Abby said. "What happened? I thought you two were getting pretty close, finally."

Too close, Kerry thought. Out loud, she said, "We just were looking for different things, that's all. Carter was looking for True Love or something like that."

"And you weren't?"

"I told you, Abby, I don't fall in love." She scowled. "Truth is, I don't think anyone does. It's just one of those delusions people buy into because it sounds nobler than compatibility."

Abby set down her coffee cup and crossed her arms. "Gee, that's a lovely thought," she said. "You ever write greeting cards for Hallmark?"

"What, you disagree with me?" Kerry asked, turning on her. "You think I should have lied to John and told him I loved him, and then we'd get married and live happily ever after? Come on, Abby, you should know better than that. Look how your marriage turned out."

"Kerry, that's not a fair comparison..."

"Your husband cheated on you and sabotaged your tuition," Kerry overrode her. "And your fucked-up marriage is only one example. Frankly, you got off easy." She swallowed a gulp of coffee. It was pretty bad, as usual, but she needed the caffeine.

Abby stared at her, her pretty features hardening. "That was a really rotten thing to say to me," she said at last. "You don't know everything about my marriage, about the good times we might have had. You don't know about anyone's marriage, for that matter!"

"Except my own," Kerry cut in.

That took Abby back a step. "You were married?"

Kerry nodded, shortly.

"I didn't know that..."

"You didn't know that because you never asked me," Kerry interrupted her, bitterly, "and I didn't volunteer that little bit of information because it was none of your fucking business."

Abby flinched, as though stung. "I'm sorry..."

"And it's also none of your business what I do or don't do with John Carter, or anyone else. Just because I had sex with you one time doesn't mean you know enough about me to give me relationship advice, okay? So you go home and fuck Luka all you want to, or do whatever the hell else you want with your life, but DON'T you tell me what to do with mine!" She angrily jabbed a finger into Abby's breastbone for emphasis.

The shock and hurt on Abby's face, mere inches from her own, was writ large. "Sure, okay," she stammered. "No problem."

Kerry stepped back, trying to bring herself under control. She didn't meet Abby's gaze.

"So...does this mean the cocoa's off?" Abby ventured.

"Yeah, I think it does," Kerry admitted.

"Fine," Abby replied, flatly.

"Look, just forget I came in here, okay?" Kerry said. "Forget the whole thing."

"Fine," Abby repeated. "Whatever you say, Dr. Weaver, you're the boss. Whatever happens, you're always the boss, aren't you?" She pushed past Kerry and left the lounge in a huff.

Oh, shit, Kerry thought. That was not my smoothest moment.

* * *

"She just went off on me!" Abby told Luka, later that evening. "I don't know what happened. One minute, she's propositioning me, and the next, she's ripping my head off over nothing!"

Luka stood behind her chair, gently rubbing her shoulders. "I'm sorry that happened," he said in his deep, soft voice.

"I keep thinking back over it, wondering if maybe I did something to deserve that? Maybe I said something wrong, or I acted snotty or mean? But I can't think of what I might have done like that."

"Abby..." He kissed the top of her head. "It's not your doing. You know what Kerry's like, and how she treated John. Kerry finds it easier to hurt people than let them in."

"God, she's so prickly," Abby grumped. "She's uptight, controlling, and downright bitchy. She walks around with a bigger stick up her ass than the one she leans on! And you know what's the worst thing about her?"

"What?"

Abby closed her eyes, let her head fall back, and let out her breath. "The fact that I know all that, and I still want to go to bed with her again."

Luka laughed. He was about to say something in response, but the phone rang.

"Ugh. Leave it," Abby told him. "I don't want to talk to anyone right now." She didn't need to mention that the hospital would page them if their presence was required for an emergency, so there was reason they couldn't screen their calls.

The phone rang again, then clicked. "Hi, please leave a message," they heard Abby's recorded voice announce. The beep followed.

"Hi, Abby, it's Ker - it's Dr. Weaver," said a familiar voice. "I just wanted to apologize for this afternoon. I didn't mean...I was out of line, and I'm sorry. Call me if you still want...never mind, I'm sorry. Um..." The voice paused uncertainly, then quickly said, "I'm sorry," again and hung up.

There was a moment of quiet.

"And the indecision rears its head again," Luka said.

Abby rubbed at her eyes and didn't say anything.

"You know what it is?" Luka spoke up after a bit. "She doesn't let herself have the things she wants. Given half a chance, she finds some way to sabotage things."

"Maybe she shouldn't be given half a chance," Abby muttered.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I was thinking a while back that Kerry's problem is that she has to be in control all the time, so she's got a way out of anything, like you said. Makes you wonder what she'd do if she went into something that required her to surrender her control, doesn't it?" she said, wryly.

Luka stroked his chin. "You mean if she stepped into a situation, and then had no way of backing out of it?"

"Uh-huh. All or nothing. But she'd never go for anything like that."

"I don't know. She might, if she were properly intrigued."

Abby turned in her chair, looking at him. "What do you have in mind?"

He nodded toward Abby's answering machine. "She still wants to see you. Didn't you hear?"

She shook her head. "Even if she did, she'd just find a way out as soon as I said yes."

A slow, almost evil smile began to grow on his face. "Maybe not. I have an idea..."

He sat down next to her and made a few suggestions, and the more he talked, the more she liked the notion. They sat up late, refining details, exploring variations, until they had a scenario in mind that tickled their fancy no end.

*************************

The next day went slowly for Kerry. She interacted with John, Abby, and Luka tersely, showing them no more personal feeling than anyone else. In fact, the person who got the biggest reaction out of her was Robert Romano, who ridiculed her proposed budget alterations in front of the staff. If the son of a bitch was going to dismiss her ideas without reading them and call her an idiot for bringing the matter up, he could at LEAST have had the courtesy to do it in private instead of undermining her authority.

So Kerry was in a truly foul mood when she at last slammed into the locker room, fully determined to drive home in a blue funk, put on Ella Fitzgerald loud enough to make the neighbors' ears bleed, and drink herself silly.

But there was an envelope taped to her locker. STILL INTERESTED? Was all it said on the front. There was a simple cartoon drawing of a steaming coffee cup below the words.

Kerry froze.

Her first thought was to go ask Randi if she'd seen anyone carrying the envelope, or if she knew who might have put it there. But something told her that if the person responsible wanted her to know their name(s), they would say so in the envelope's contents. If they didn't, they'd fade into the woodwork.

She debated briefly, then opened the envelope. It contained a single sheet of paper, probably from one of the ER's printers...and a blindfold. Not a scarf or strip of cloth, but a real blindfold, like a domino mask without eyeholes. She knew some patients' families brought them in to help their relatives sleep in the unfamiliar hospital. What the hell am I supposed to do with this?

The note read:

FOLLOW THESE INSTRUCTIONS.
1) AFTER YOUR SHIFT, GO TO YOUR CAR. SIT IN THE PASSENGER SEAT, LEAVING THE DOORS UNLOCKED AND THE KEYS IN THE IGNITION.
2) PUT THIS ON AND WAIT FOR THE FUN TO BEGIN.
THAT IS ALL. THIS IS A ONE-TIME OFFER.
PS: REMEMBER THESE TWO KEY WORDS: "STAT" MEANS NO. "CLEAR" MEANS STOP.

There was no signature.

Kerry read it, then read it again. There were a hundred and a half reasons why she should have been scared by the note. But then she glanced at the envelope again, at the drawing of the coffee mug. Or was it a cocoa mug? Was that a hint of the author or authors, and their intentions?

The smart thing, the sensible thing, would have been to call security. Hell, call the police! Get them involved, then maybe have them watch her car and see who showed up, and accost them for stalking. Under any other circumstances, that would have been Kerry's course of action. But now, for whatever reason, she went with her gut. She followed the written instructions, telling no one.

So, minutes later, she was sitting placidly in the front passenger seat of her own car, crutch by her side, hands folded in her lap. Wearing that damn blindfold. If this was some stupid practical joke being pulled on her by someone like Malucci, she'd...

Footsteps. More than one set.

Her left front and right rear doors opened, and she felt the car rock as two people got in.

Strong hands gripped her elbows and pulled her forearms backward, until her hands were behind her seat back. Gloved fingers held her at the wrists, immobilizing her. She heard the engine start.

Kerry was dying to ask who it was, and where they were going. But she knew that she couldn't make them answer her, and she wouldn't show weakness by asking. If they, whoever they were, wanted to make this a test of nerve, she would not come up short.

They drove for several minutes, and she tried to count the seconds in her head, judging turns by the changes in her equilibrium as best she could. But she doubted she'd be able to retrace their journey, or determine where they were going. What if a police officer noticed them driving around with a blindfolded woman and pulled them over to investigate? How would she explain things?

The car stopped, and the driver got out, circled around the car, and opened the door on her side. The hands holding hers released her. Reflexively, she took hold of the crutch, but the same hands pulled it away from her. That almost made her yell out in protest, but she kept silent.

Strong arms lifted her carefully out of the seat, carrying her like a child. One of them, therefore, was a big man. And he smelled familiar. Not someone she knew intimately, just someone she'd spent time around.

They went inside a building, up an elevator, down a hall, through a door. Then she was lowered to her feet. The big man stood close behind her, letting her lean on him, and took hold of her arms, pinning them again.

In the sudden stillness, Kerry realized her heart was beating rapidly. There was some nervousness, some fear, and, yes, some excitement. The sheer sensation of Not Knowing was almost overpowering.

A fingertip touched the tip of her nose, lightly, and she almost jumped. It was soft, the nail trimmed short. It ran lightly down to her lips, delicately traced their shape, then explored her chin.

Other fingers joined it, two, three, then four, running along her jawline, the curve of her cheek. Five more appeared on the other side of her face, all touching as lightly as a spider's footsteps. They caressed the bridge of her nose, up to where it was hidden by the blindfold, then followed her forehead up to her hairline, brushing gently through the roots. The first hand traced over the curve of her ear. Under their touch, Kerry seemed to perceive her own facial features as new, and for a moment, they seemed beautiful to her.

There was a faint tang in the air, as of someone else's breath, and Kerry had the feeling that another pair of lips was very near her own. She waited for the kiss, but none came. The tantalizing, teasing sensations were arousing her sharply.

Then she felt, or sensed, the other lips drawing back, and both hands ran down over her face and neck to her collar. They undid her coat, brushing over her breasts, then opened her blouse, baring skin to the air. Kerry felt a warm tingling running all over her.

The man holding her arms made adjustments, letting the coat and blouse fall off her shoulders and slip to the floor. His grip returned to her bare arms. The other hands - Kerry thought of them as female, though she couldn't be certain - slipped around to her back and expertly unfastened her bra. Her nipples stiffened as the cool air flowed over them. Those hands, soft, smooth, and warm, ran over her breasts, cupping and caressing them, palms sliding over the erect peaks.

Then the hands moved down to her waistband. Her slacks were undone, slipped down over her hips and legs, followed closely by her underwear. She felt her shoes being removed, one then the other, and when she stepped out of the slacks, she was naked. Except, of course, for the blindfold covering her eyes. The big man behind her was still fully dressed, and the feeling of his coat against her bare back and buttocks was wonderfully erotic.

Hands took her knees, and the two abductors lifted Kerry carefully, carrying her only a short distance and laying her on a bed. She had had fantasies like this, on occasion, but this had the sharp immediacy of reality to it.

The big man and his partner flanked Kerry, each taking one of her wrists, and raising her arms above her head, out at angles like a capital Y. Then she felt something wrapping around her wrists, tying tightly into knots, and the hands released her. But then it was too late, and she was tied securely to the bedframe.

Only now did any real sense of fear come to her, as she realized she'd passed the point of no return. Whatever these people planned for her, she was helpless to prevent it. If that meant torture, rape, even murder, she was in for it. But, truthfully, she didn't think so. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but she couldn't believe that anything abusive was on the program for tonight. Then again, if she was wrong, and she ended up being sacrificed to some pagan deity like a virgin on the altar, she was really going to feel stupid.

She felt her two abductors leaning over her, and felt the anticipation peaking. Whatever was going to happen next, there was nothing she could do about it but wait and see how things went.

Here we go, she thought.

There was a feeling of the bed dipping as the two people moved about, and then Kerry felt hands on her thighs, spreading them apart. A presence - the big man - moved to fill the gap between her legs. He had taken off his coat, but still wore his shirt and jeans. He moved in closer, and she felt his lips against her groin.

"Oh..." She couldn't hold in the gasp of excitement as he began to pleasure her. His mouth was hot, his actions confident, and she was already wet from anticipation. Waves of warmth and ripples of tension began to roll through her. She twisted, arms pulling against the soft bonds holding her, but they did not yield. Her hands remained pinned, beyond her use.

The feeling of the big man's tongue gliding over her most sensitive spots, mixed with the warm buzz of his breath, were enough to light up her nervous system by themselves, but the sensory deprivation and the physical restrictions of her bonds served to somehow enhance the experience. Kerry let out a deep moan of pleasure, her own voice almost unrecognizable in her ears.

Someone sat on the bed beside her; she could tell from the slight give in the bed's surface. The other person's hands - she was certain it was a woman - reappeared, resuming their touch. One was caressing her face, neck, shoulders and arms, the other stroking the swell of her breasts, softly stimulating the sensitive areolae. It was a gentle, almost loving massage, and it would have been a lovely feeling even without the man performing oral sex on her at the same time. Added together, this unexpected encounter was rapidly becoming one of her most satisfying sexual experiences.

Kerry had never had sex with two people at once before, and had only discussed the possibility once or twice within recent memory. With that in mind, along with other little clues - the cartoon of the cocoa mug, the familiar scent - she had a pretty good idea who her anonymous lovers were. She didn't quite know how this had come about, but right now she didn't care. Despite her burst of temper, one of her fantasies was coming true, and that was all that mattered at the moment. That and her rapidly approaching orgasm...

Then the woman stood up, exiting Kerry's sphere of awareness, and a moment later, the man pulled back and disappeared from between her legs as well, leaving her unfulfilled. Again.

She let out a frustrated squeal, and wanted to yell, HEY! NO FAIR!! Was that their game? Was this some sort of punishment for her treatment of them? Did they plan to tease her, bring her to brink of release, and then frustrate her time and again?

As abruptly as he had gone, the man returned - no, wait, this was a new presence, and a new mouth upon her. It was the woman. Her arms and shoulders were bare, and as Kerry explored her back and hips with a foot, she quickly discovered that the woman was nude. She heard a rustling of cloth, unzipping and unbuckling to her right, and guessed that the man was also disrobing.

But that was a minor observation. What filled her senses was that the woman's tongue had picked up where the man's left off, without missing a beat. God, she'd thought he was good, but this woman was even better! She slipped her hands under Kerry's buttocks, bringing her hips up to her mouth, sliding her tongue inside expertly, sucking carefully in all the right places, displaying the kind of erotic knowledge that comes not merely from being with a woman, but also being one herself. "Ohh, Jesus, yes..." Kerry heard herself gasping. "More..."

Kerry's spine arched in response to the woman's exquisite lovemaking, her legs moving involuntarily and her arms straining at their bonds. That might hurt later, she realized, if the circulation was cut off too long, but right now, the added tension was delicious.

The bed by her head dipped again, more deeply, as the big man knelt beside her. She turned her head, as though she could look at him despite the blindfold...and then she felt something large, warm, and bulbous against her lips. She identified it in the same moment, and took it into her mouth without hesitation.

The man let out a breath that was almost a moan as she craned her head, taking as much of his erection into her mouth as she could while tied down on her back. It was an awkward angle; if she'd been free to sit up and use her hands, she'd have been able to show him what truly fine fellatio was like. But he didn't seem to be complaining. His hands held her head, pulling her closer, carefully guiding her to suck him deeper, but never forcing her. Never hurting her. The woman's actions had slowed, like a motor idling rather than revving, as though allowing Kerry's attention to focus on her male partner, but she was still a sweet presence at Kerry's groin.

It had been a long time since her classmates called her "Weaver the Blowjob Queen," but Kerry hadn't forgotten a thing from those days. She'd just become more discriminating about when and where to practice her talents. Now, even tied down, she applied them with gusto to her male captor; if her suspicions about his identity were correct, it was something she'd wanted to do to him for a long time, and always figured she'd never get the chance. Well, here it was, and she was determined to make him remember it.

He rocked his hips, thrusting gently into her mouth in time with her movements, and she could feel his excitement. He was practically trembling with it. A less experienced lover than she might have gagged at the insistent movements, but she took them in stride easily, raking her teeth carefully along the sensitive skin, breathing through her nose and sucking his length knowingly. The woman's mouth was still melded against Kerry's labia, and her bare skin was wonderfully warm between her legs.

The man's excitement escalated, like a steam engine building up pressure, and she could feel his muscles contract. His climax was imminent. His penis seemed to swell inside her mouth, pressing at the back of her throat, and then he came. It felt like a volcano erupting inside her esophagus, and her mouth filled with thick, salty-sweet fluid. She swallowed as much as she could, but there was even more than she could handle if she were sitting up. She almost choked on the thickness of it, but he withdrew, and the excess covered her chin. She felt the hot, liquid drops spatter against the upper swell of her breasts, and he let out a deep groan of satisfaction that he must have been holding in.

Damn, I still got it, Kerry told herself with satisfaction, even under conditions like this.

She had little time to gloat, however, because her attention was recaptured by the woman between her thighs. She had gradually picked up the pace and intensity of her movements during the man's climax, and now seemed determined to make Kerry dissolve from sheer ecstasy. And the way her tongue was tickling, teasing and tormenting Kerry's clitoris, she wasn't far from success.

Kerry swallowed again, clearing her throat, then exclaimed, "God, yes, please..." before remembering her resolve not to speak until they did. She carefully refrained from using any more words thereafter, but she couldn't control herself from moaning, sighing, and nearly squealing with uncontrolled delight.

It had truly astonished her, when she first made love with Kim Legaspi, how different a female lover could be from a male, and yet how much they were able to accomplish the same goals, sometimes with identical techniques, sometimes with separate and discrete ones. Kerry's experience with women was limited; she'd exaggerated a bit when she told Abby she was bisexual, as that claim was based solely on her affair with Kim. But her attraction to Abby had certainly corroborated the feeling, and now she was dead sure. If a woman could do this to her as well as, or even better than, a man, then maybe she should just stick with women from now on and dispense with the birth control...

All possibility of further thought was driven out of her head by the colossal climax that flared like a supernova within her. She arched, straining almost to the point of dislocating a shoulder, gripped the woman tightly with her legs, and screamed like there was no tomorrow. The immensity of her orgasm left her gasping for breath, every muscle quivering like leaves in a storm.

The woman's mouth left her, finally, its work completed, and moved upward, over her stomach. Kerry became aware of the fine sheen of perspiration on her body as the other woman covered it with her own. She felt the woman's hands, followed closely by her mouth, work their way up over her ribs, chest, and neck to her face. The woman carefully licked the remaining drops of the man's come from her breasts, paying extra attention to the swollen nipples, then licked a swath up along her throat, up over her chin and cheek, cleaning up after her male counterpart. Then, their bodies fully meshed together, she slid her hands behind Kerry's head and pulled her face up for a kiss. Her lips were warm, her breath was sweet, and her tongue danced inside Kerry's mouth, flirting and dueling with her own.

Now, at last, Kerry knew for sure who she was dealing with. I've kissed you before, she thought. Nobody does it quite the same way as anyone else.

Their kiss slowed, the passion subsiding, and the woman wound it down with soft kisses against the outside of her lips. Her fingers drew light circles on Kerry's cheeks and forehead, as though cherishing the captive woman's face. Then, still moving slowly, the woman lifted herself off of Kerry and got off the bed.

Kerry was alone for a moment before her captors returned, and then she felt a pair of warm, moist washcloths carefully cleaning her body. They dried her off with a soft towel, then drew a sheet and blanket over her, up to her chin. She could sense the man and woman leaving the room, and then everything was still except for the pulsings and beatings of her own body's natural rhythms.

Kerry felt as though she were glowing, floating in a calm sea of light. She was no stranger to sex, of course, not for many years. But she could rarely recall a time when she'd felt so pampered. Her captors...no, she thought, her lovers...had engineered the situation so carefully around her, concentrating on her pleasure, as though the whole thing was entirely for her benefit, somehow. Even the fact that her hands were still tied securely didn't seem to bother her at the moment.

There was a vague, distant awareness of life in other apartments in the building. Somewhere, one of the neighbors was practicing scales on a piano, someone else was watching television, someone else was talking on the phone. She couldn't distinguish further details, and probably wouldn't have noticed if she hadn't been immobilized and blindfolded, thus requiring her other senses to pick up the slack.

She drifted into a semi-conscious state, halfway between sleep and wakefulness, and thought of her previous sexual experiences...

It hadn't been easy being a shy, nervous young teenager, attracted to boys and knowing they only saw her as a pale, skinny cripple. An eight-year-old geek grown up to be an eighteen-year-old geek. All the guys were chasing after the cheerleaders and the party gals, and none of them gave her a second glance.

Then, one day, when she was alone with her study partner, some handsome football jock that she was tutoring, helping him with his history grade so they wouldn't cut him from the team, she took a radical step. She asked him if he wanted a blowjob. Just blurted it out gracelessly, as quickly as that. Couldn't even look at him when she said it. He looked shocked, as if a dog or cat had suddenly started speaking, but he shrugged and said yeah, sure. That was when she discovered that her talents were not limited to academic matters.

He didn't talk to her again after that, but he must have bragged how he'd been blown by the brainy gimp, because she was approached a little later by one of his teammates. She was so flattered that someone was interested in her sexually that she overlooked the crude awkwardness of his approach, and even forgot how mad she was at the first guy for ignoring her. Soon after that, a couple more guys came sniffing around, all hoping to get the same treatment, and she realized she'd become something of an underground hot property. In the eyes of her classmates, she had gone from an unnoticed nonentity to a bona fide 'bad girl'.

She enjoyed a degree of popularity in her senior year that she'd never experienced before, and for a while that was fine with her. But it ended shortly before graduation, when she realized how unrewarding and one-sided it was. She could get any young man she wanted to drop his drawers, eager for her gifted mouth, just by smiling in his direction. But that was all she had. None of them ever wanted to kiss her or date her or sleep with her, they didn't even want her to take her clothes off. All they wanted was to get their rocks off and be able to boast that they, too, had been serviced by "Weaver the Blowjob Queen". It was an unpleasant realization that her notoriety had not brought her anyone's respect or affection, but merely reduced her to the level of guilty pleasure, like drinking beer or smoking grass.

Perhaps worse, her grades had begun to slip, as other things occupied the attention previously devoted to her studies. In the final weeks, she rallied, refusing her favors and throwing herself fanatically into her schoolwork, desperate to salvage herself academically and ignoring the burning emptiness inside. As it was, she ended up not as Valedictorian, but merely Salutatorian in her graduating class. And she resolved that she'd never be taken for granted sexually again.

College days were spent in a state of abstinence that would have made her at home in a convent. Looking back, she had no love for the callow young men who'd climaxed in her mouth and then avoided her like the plague, but she had no real anger toward them. That was reserved for herself, for letting them use her that way. If she couldn't sleep with someone who respected her, she vowed, she wouldn't sleep with anyone.

Then she met Michael. They were in the same class in med school, and ended up spending a considerable amount of time together. She was suspicious of his interest, at first, but eventually allowed herself to be convinced that he truly loved her. They were married less than a year after they met...

Kerry shook herself awake. She didn't want to relive that relationship while awake, let alone in her dreams. Suffice to say he'd treated her worse in the name of love than her classmates had in the name of popularity.

After the divorce, her sex life became even sparser, but at least she could reach something resembling a happy medium. Mlungisi had shown her that she could go to bed with someone without either being used and ignored, or giving her heart away. He didn't think any less of her for sleeping with him, and yet he didn't ask her to devote her life to him, and she'd always treasure him for it.

Then the long years of almost continuous celibacy. A brief interlude with Ellis, whom she'd pushed away at the first excuse...then nothing until Kim. Kim, who'd shown her entirely new dimensions to her own sexuality, and she was gone, too. And then Abby, and John...

No. Don't think about him.

Then, of course, there was today. With the exception of all those stupid, horny high school boys whose names were long forgotten, Kerry realized she'd had more lovers in the past year than the rest of her life. Seems like everyone's out to screw me lately, she thought. Maybe I should draw up a list and have them start taking numbers. Hire a secretary to arrange appointments...

They were coming back. The man and the woman. She heard their feet gliding softly over the carpet even before she felt them untying her wrists. Carefully, they lowered her arms, allowing the numbness to fade and the circulation to flow. She felt the ache in her shoulders and biceps of having her arms outstretched for so long, and they massaged her gently, one on each side. Letting her feel loved, not threatened.

They rolled her slowly over, onto her stomach, and the blankets were drawn away, leaving her exposed again. She no longer felt self-conscious, but safe and warm. Something reached her nostrils. A scent of...watermelon? Why did that smell familiar? And why would that particular scent excite her so much? Four hands began applying an oil, the source of the aroma, to her back, shoulders, arms and legs. The feeling of it gliding over her body was wonderful, and she imagined she could feel it seeping deliciously into her skin.

One of them spread her legs gently apart, kneeling between them -- the man, she guessed -- and massaged her buttocks and inner thighs, creating a returning heat which surpassed the oil's warm glow. Kerry felt the palms of his hands kneading softly at the muscles of her thighs, his thumbs delving briefly between her legs at each pass of his hands, and she wanted to feel more. The woman's hands on her shoulders kept up an identical rhythm, and she felt the soft brush of the woman's breath against her cheek.

Then, acting in concert, the two sets of hands raised her body up to rest carefully on her knees and elbows. The woman took hold of her wrists and brought them together in front of her. She retied one of the scarves around Kerry's hands and fastened them again to the bedframe. The man took hold of her hips and eased her backwards, rocking her toward him.

She heard a slight noise, which she identified as the opening of a foil packet, then the crackling, rubbery sound of latex. With a thrill, she realized it was a condom unrolling, and a part of her noted the precaution with satisfaction. Knowing who her mystery lovers were, she was already certain they'd had themselves tested for communicable diseases prior to engaging in sex with her, but if the man was using contraception, then that meant that full intercourse wasn't far behind. Kerry's loins tingled, eagerly anticipating a good, solid fuck.

She felt more of the watermelon-scented oil, a handful being rubbed into her buttocks, and the crack of her anus. He spread it there with a probing finger, concentrating on the puckered opening, the tip pressing and questing as if seeking entrance.

She felt herself stiffen, her arousal abruptly changing to shame and humiliation. Anal sex wasn't what she had in mind; it hurt too much, not only physically -- walking was always more painful for days afterward -- but also emotionally. It brought back memories of Michael, and they were not pleasant ones.

His finger slid into her, and she clenched in resistance. The warm lubrication of the oil allowed his finger to slip in and out regardless, and if he noticed her discomfort, he didn't react to it. This was about to get out of hand.

"No, wait," she said, cursing herself for speaking first. "I don't want to do this."

They showed no signs of having heard her. The woman kept rubbing her shoulders and neck, and the man slid the finger in again, deeper.

"Please, I can't...I mean it, don't..." She knew she was pleading, helplessly, and hated it.

The man took hold of her hips, and she felt the massive head of his erection about to penetrate her.

"Dammit, I said wait!" What the hell was the word to make them stop? "I don't...no..." Then it came to her. "STAT!"

They froze, all motion ceasing. There was a sudden feeling of tension, as if they knew they'd gone too far.

The sting of hot tears filled her eyes behind the blindfold. "Just...not that, okay? I don't like it..." Her voice had lost all its customary authority, and sounded like a hurt child. She hated when her voice sounded that way.

He withdrew, as gently as he could. "All right," she heard him whisper, his accent just barely audible, along with a faint trace of guilt. "Not that."

The woman held her head tenderly, and kissed her ear. "Shhh, it's okay," she whispered. "We won't hurt you."

Kerry felt her wrists being untied, almost contritely. She rolled onto her back again, feeling their uncertainty vibrate in the air. Even through the blindfold, she could visualize the looks of concern on their faces. Wanting to salvage their connection, she reached a hand out toward each of them, showing them that she still wanted them, and felt each of them take her hands. Not for restraint this time, but for understanding. In spite of what had just happened, she knew that they meant her no harm, and wanted them to know how much she valued this encounter.

They held Kerry's hands in theirs, his hands large and strong, hers soft and slim. Soon enough, the last of their discomfort was gone, replaced by an easy acceptance, and Kerry felt her desire returning. She lifted her good leg and stroked the shin against the man's side, invitingly. As she did so, she felt the woman bring Kerry's hand to her breast, the nipple erect against her palm. She pulled her other hand away from the man's and slipped it around the woman's waist, while the man moved between her legs again. She wrapped them around his waist, pulling him in closer, and the woman also adjusted position, straddling her face. Kerry breathed in the rich scent of her arousal, reaching up to fill her hands with the woman's breasts.

She felt the man's penis, still in its condom, cautiously easing into her, and this time she welcomed it, her heels digging into his lower back and drawing him in. She felt his hands covering hers over the woman's erect nipples, and let him take them while she moved hers to the woman's hips and pulled them down more firmly onto her mouth. The taste of the woman's sex was a wonderful compliment to the feel of his within her, and she tried to match the movements of her tongue to his slow, easy strokes, transferring the marvelous sensations from one of her lovers to the other.

The woman let out a moan of delight, her hands running through Kerry's hair in appreciation. Her wetness evinced the level of excitement she felt, which Kerry noted with great satisfaction. She was determined to give this woman the same intense pleasure the woman had given her earlier. The same pleasure Kerry had given her that first night together...

Her thighs suddenly gripped the sides of Kerry's head between them as the woman stiffened and convulsed in rapture. She bit back a scream of joy, then let it out as she came. Kerry lapped greedily at her, and then she moved off of Kerry, leaving her alone with the man penetrating her deliciously.

He leaned forward, his weight coming to rest on his hands on each side of her body, and drove more deeply into her. The pace of his thrusts began to increase. Kerry gasped with pleasure, her hands going to the columns of his arms, sliding up along them, feeling the muscles and tendons singing with warmth. It occurred to her, out of nowhere, that there was nothing stopping her from taking the blindfold off and looking at her lovers, but she decided to leave it. Something about the anonymity it provided, even though she knew who they were, made the whole fantasy all the more erotic. Like it could have been any man and woman making love to her. It could just as easily have been Kim and Joh--

No, don't think his name! Or you'll cry it out...

She heard a noise in her throat that could have been a sob, but she ignored it, running her hands up over the man's shoulders, feeling their contours, their mass. His perspiration was slick under her fingers, and his skin was hot from exertion and arousal. She let her hands glide up his neck, over his face, into his thick hair. She felt his lips against her fingers as they passed.

A groan of animalistic desire escaped his throat, and he let his arms fold, bringing his weight down onto his elbows. His forearms slid under Kerry's back, encircling her in his embrace, and she could finally feel his body fully against hers, breasts flattening against his chest. Her legs gripped his hips as tightly as they could as he filled her and retreated, time and again, faster than she could count.

Kerry retracted her earlier thought, about sticking with women. They could be fun in bed, she'd discovered, but they couldn't do this. Like apples and oranges, the two just couldn't be compared. This was the intense, passionate lovemaking she'd wanted all her life. It had tantalized her, with this man and that, always coming close, but never quite being the one she'd waited for. Well, this was it, the unreserved, unrestrained fuck of her life. Unencumbered by thoughts of love or commitment; the man she was enjoying it with wasn't even her own, he belonged to another woman. That added an extra thrill, even though she was doing it with the woman's full knowledge and approval, in her sight. The fact that she'd just made love with the woman as well was the icing on the cake.

Nothing she'd had compared with this experience. Nothing had made her feel so completely loved and accepted, even worshipped. Nothing except, perhaps, making love with--

His name was on her lips, struggling to get out. Trying desperately to stop it, she brought her mouth up to the man's neck, sucking at the hot skin there, feeling the blood pulsing in his arteries. He moved his head about and captured her mouth with his, kissing her deeply. She welcomed his tongue into her mouth, sucking on it needfully, her fingers digging into his shoulders as she strove to meld their bodies together. The explosions of warmth he was creating inside her were building.

When their lips parted, and she gasped for breath, Kerry knew there was no point in resisting the thoughts in her mind. She knew exactly who the man fucking her was, she'd fantasized about this, and it was wonderful. Mind-blowingly wonderful. But instead of thinking his name, wanting to cry it out, all she could think about was another man. The one she had waited for, the one she still wanted, even if he no longer wanted her.

And then it slipped out. "J-John..."

If she had expected the sound of another man's name to insult or embarrass him, she was mistaken. If anything, it seemed to have the opposite effect. He pulled her tighter, almost crushing her body against his, thrust himself into her harder, more deeply than ever, and she could feel him about to come again. It built within him, all his muscles quivering with anticipation, and then erupted. If not for the condom, she could imagine him spraying inside her like a fire hose.

The feeling was too much for her, and she was driven into a climax so huge it seemed to consume her completely. It lasted for what seemed an eternity, then dissipated slowly.

Her perceptions were hazy after that, and she wasn't aware of them moving about, but the next thing Kerry knew, her lovers were lying beside her, one on each side, pressing warmly against her. She turned her head toward the man, their mouths meeting for a kiss, then she turned to the woman, who kissed her with equal tenderness. Surely, she thought, this was the best of both worlds. The strength of a male lover, the softness of a female. Where else would she find such a combination.

Then it came to her, in the way such truths only come on the fringes of conscious thought, that she had had that combination in one lover, and pushed him away. He'd been a man physically, no doubt about that. But there was a distinctly female side to his soul; she had felt it, at work, in conversation, and in bed. It gave him a balance that no one else she knew had displayed, and it had matched her own combination of male and female traits ideally. Why did she throw him away? Why had he let her?

Kerry turned on her side, the woman's back against her front, the man spooned behind her, and fell asleep.

Sensory awareness returned, and with it, clarity. Kerry heard the sounds of an occupied apartment in morningtime, smelled something not quite like sausage and eggs but similar, and eventually felt the warm sheets and blankets against her nude body. The peculiar aftertaste of oral sex was prevalent in her mouth.

Why weren't her eyes working? She couldn't seem to open her... Oh, yeah.

"Clear," she croaked, her voice rusty from sleep. The games had been fun, but enough's enough. She reached up to her face and peeled the blindfold off, blinking in the sudden morning light.

The bedroom indicated a small, cheap apartment, kept as well as its occupants could manage on their time and budget. She didn't complain; she'd been cozy enough last night.

Kerry sat up, pulling the sheet around her, more for warmth than modesty, and her eyes fell on a chair set right by the edge of the bed nearest her. A blue velour robe was folded on it, awaiting her. Her glasses and pager were perched atop it - good, they were prepared in case she was needed for an emergency - and her crutch leaned against the chair, waiting dutifully for her. She smiled inwardly at these little touches of hospitality.

There was the usual morning stiffness in her body, but it was eased and tempered by the afterglow of lovemaking singing in her veins. She wrapped herself in the robe, donned glasses and crutch, and slipped the pager into the robe's pocket. She wasn't wild about velour, but when in Rome...

Limping into the kitchen, she found Luka in a matching robe, tending something on the stove that made her mouth water. "Oh, good morning, Kerry," he greeted, catching sight of her. "Did you sleep well?"

"Like a baby. Morning." She inhaled, the aromas making her stomach growl eagerly. "What are you cooking?"

He named a Croatian dish that she wasn't sure she'd heard of. "Are you hungry?"

"Mmm, starving," she admitted.

"I'm sorry about that," Luka said. "We had planned to feed you some supper when we finished, but then you fell asleep, and we didn't want to wake you."

Kerry slipped an arm around his waist and leaned her head against his back. "No, that's all right," she said. "I needed the sleep."

He smiled at her, more brotherly than romantic. "I don't mean to rush you," he said, forking his culinary works onto plates, "but we should probably get moving. You and I are on shift in an hour and a half."

Kerry looked at the oven clock. "Oh, shit. I didn't even think about what time it was." There was something almost Einsteinian about sex; it drew time out, contracted it...

"I'll take that as a compliment," Luka said with an easy smile, bringing plates to the small breakfast table. "Abby's in the shower, but she said we shouldn't wait for her."

Kerry joined him at the table and they ate. It was wonderful.

Abby appeared a few minutes later, her body wrapped in a large bath towel secured just below her arms. "Good morning, children," she declared, kissing each of them on the cheek.

Kerry greeted her in turn, her mouth still half-full. When Abby had filled her own plate and sat beside them, Kerry said, "Abby, Luka...I want to thank you both so much. Last night was..." She ran out of words, floundered for adequate terms, then gave up, smiling wryly. "Sure, I can publish papers on every medical case known to man, but I can't describe how good sex with you two was."

They grinned, almost blushing. "It was great for us, too," Abby told her. "You were wonderful."

Luka nodded his agreement, but kept eating. His appetite was even bigger than Carter's, Kerry reflected.

"And we're just glad it turned out as well as it did," Abby went on. "We didn't know how you'd react..."

"Me neither," Kerry told her, taking another bite. "Was this your first threesome?"

"Sort of," Luka said. "First woman."

"Mmm. But not first man?" she replied, intrigued.

"Um, no," Abby said, seeming a little diffident.

Kerry smiled coyly. "So was he good?" she asked, taking another mouthful. This stuff was really delicious.

"You should know," Luka said. "It was John."

The food in her mouth suddenly turned to something unpalatable. Kerry froze, fighting the urge to spit it out, forced herself to swallow it, and set her fork down. Something bitter and foul moved within her, cold and tight. She felt it throb at the back of her throat. "You...you both slept with John Carter?"

They stopped eating, looking at her. "Yes," Abby said softly.

Kerry made her voice steady by sheer force of will. "When?"

They told her, and she made the connection immediately. He'd gone to them, the same night she told him she didn't love him. He'd run to them instead of her, and they'd fucked him. They fucked her man, her lover. No, not hers, she told herself. He'd chosen to leave her. For them.

"Is that a problem?" Luka asked her, in the voice he often used when they had a medical disagreement brewing.

Kerry felt a rage and hurt so fierce it almost pierced her skin, but she fought it down. "John is undergoing a time of critical transition in his recovery," she stated, keeping her voice level. "Abby, you know that he shouldn't be getting involved with anyone right now..."

"Kerry, you fucking hypocrite!" Luka suddenly thundered. "It was all right for you to sleep with John, but not for anyone else?"

"No, it wasn't," she responded, glaring back at him with her ready-for-a-fight gaze. "That was my mistake, taking advantage of him, and I set it right. I told him the truth about how I felt, and let him make the choice."

"And he nearly went back to the drugs as a result!" Luka told her how John had showed up at their door, a hairsbreadth away from looking for chemical release from his problems.

Kerry listened, her despair growing within her. In trying to help him recover reliably, she'd nearly ended up causing the thing she most wanted to avoid. This entire affair has been a bad idea from the beginning, she told herself, and once in, there's no easy way out.

When Luka was finished, she said, "And don't you think transferring his dependence from me to you just perpetuates the problem? There's a reason why addicts are supposed to refrain from relationships during their recovery. You two have no right to jeopardize his sobriety just to spice up your sex life!"

"Spice up our..." Luka trailed off, then started muttering under his breath in Croatian. Kerry couldn't make out the exact words, but the tone was enough to tell her that the words were not kind ones. Still, she was determined to hold her ground on this issue and not even the anger of a man nearly twice her size was going to deter her from what she knew to be right.

Luka had to look away from both Kerry and Abby, knowing he had to get his temper under control. Finally, he thought he could talk without shouting. "We never used John to 'spice up our sex lives', as you think. He came here to talk with Abby and she wasn't home. He was in pain and needed comfort and I gave it to him. And when Abby returned home, she comforted him as well. The only jeopardy that existed in this apartment that night was what might have happened if I had let John leave here the way he wanted when he discovered that Abby wasn't home."

Gaining steam, Luka continued. "I don't quite understand this 'no new relationships' policy, even though Abby has tried to explain it to me. I've seen too many people broken or nearly broken from being confined alone in cages or cells, deprived of human contact. The whole reason that solitary confinement is so effective in prisons of any kind is because it works to help break the spirit of the prisoner. As humans, we need and crave contact. We need to be able to reach out and find someone there. Someone to talk with us, or sometimes we just need to feel the touch of another person. To be there when another person needs contract is not, in my opinion, jeopardizing their recovery. I don't think that John left here with the impression that he was dependent upon us or that we expected him to come running to us with all his problems. We all knew where we stood with each other that night. We didn't promise him love, we only gave him acceptance and affection, and he gave us the same gift in return."

Kerry listened to Luka's arguments, finding it difficult to disagree, but still seething with resentment. Something about the thought of John Carter sleeping with these two struck her as wrong. Horribly wrong. Why was that so? She knew Abby had been attracted to him, and she couldn't blame her for that. And she'd seen firsthand that John and Luka enjoyed sex with each other. The feeling of wrongness hadn't struck her then; she'd actually enjoyed the sight immensely. So why now?

Luka shook his head, still angry. "We have to go to work soon. Do you want to shower first, Kerry? Or shall I?"

Abby spoke first, laying a hand on Kerry's forearm. "Go ahead, Luka. I want to talk to Kerry alone."

He rose, rinsed his plate and left it in the sink, then left the kitchen.

Kerry sat, silently, looking at nothing.

"Kerry..." Abby began softly.

"Dammit, Abby, you're an alcoholic. You know Carter shouldn't be with anyone, no matter what Luka says."

"Kerry, look at me," Abby instructed her.

Kerry turned her head a few degrees, meeting Abby's eyes.

"You're right, I do know all about it. I've lived with it for many years. And I also know John. I know where he stands in his recovery, I know what he's feeling and what he's capable of handling. I am attracted to him, of course, but his health is the most important thing of all. Do you think, for even one second, that I would do anything to jeopardize it, just for my own selfish pleasure? Do you think I'd ever touch him, or let Luka touch him, if I didn't honestly believe with everything in me that he could handle it?"

Kerry looked away.

"Luka and I have been nothing but honest in our feelings for John, and he for us. It's more than just sex for us, it's also trust and support, but not dependence. We care deeply for him, but we're not in love, and neither is he." Abby paused, then added, "Not with us, anyway."

The older woman looked back at her sharply. "What's that supposed to mean?" she snapped.

"It means that John is sincerely in love with you. It's not a new relationship being formed, Kerry, he's loved you for years. You've been a constant presence in his life, and everything that's happened has only revealed that. He shouldn't have to give that up, any more than married addicts should have to leave their spouses during recovery."

Jesus Christ, not the Love Argument again. When were people going to stop leaning on that one, and expecting her to do the same? Kerry rubbed at her eyes.

"You know the real reason why I think you were upset?"

Oh, this should be good. "Why?"

"Because you love him, too," Abby said calmly. "And thinking of him with someone else hurts too much."

"What?!" Kerry shook her head. "You're crazy, Abby. I've told you before, I don't--"

"You don't fall in love. Bullshit, Kerry, you're hammering that one too hard. I heard you whisper his name last night, and I knew you'd been holding it in longer than you let on. I think you've convinced yourself of that because it sounds better than admitting you're afraid no one will fall in love with you."

Kerry stared at her, stunned. Part of her wanted to laugh. Part of her wanted to hit Abby. Part of her wanted to flee. And part of her, very deep down, knew that it was true.

"Well, that may be," she said at last, "but I don't love John. I just don't."

"Want to make a bet?"

Kerry stared at her. "A bet?! What are you, still in grade school?"

Abby just shook her head. "A gentleman's wager, or whatever the equivalent for ladies is. I'm betting that, by, um..." She looked at the date on her calendar. "By the end of the month, you will have to admit to yourself that you're in love with John Carter. You're on your honor for this one."

This was ridiculous. What had started as an intense emotional conversation had just taken a turn into farce. Oh, what the hell. Throwing up her hands mentally, Kerry said, "What stakes would we be betting for?"

"Stakes. Hmmm..." Abby let her eyes drift over Kerry's body, then she smiled. "I've got it. I was keeping track in there," she said, nodding toward the bedroom. "And I still owe you one."

Kerry ran her thoughts back over the previous night's doings. Sure enough, she and Abby had traded oral favors, one for one, leaving their previous imbalance unchanged. "So?"

"Double or nothing."

Kerry burst out laughing. This was too much.

"I mean it," Abby went on when she calmed down. "If, by the end of this month, you can come look me in the eye and tell me, with the honesty you are known for, that you're not in love with John, I'll go down on you...twice." She held up two fingers, like a peace sign. "Two separate occasions of your choosing."

Kerry recalled how talented Abby's mouth had been on her. The thought of feeling it again, more than once, was extremely appealing. "And if I can't..."

"Then I don't owe you a thing."

It was the stupidest thing she'd ever agreed to. But it was also basically a lock as far as she could see. Kerry knew she'd never get John back, and that, no matter what Abby said, she just didn't have that kind of love in her. She didn't. But here was Abby, offering sexual satisfaction on two more occasions, and all she had to do was go along with it, avoid Carter outside of work, and collect in a couple of weeks' time. "Okay," she said, holding out her hand. "You're on."

Abby shook it. "Then it's agreed."

"What's agreed?" Luka asked, returning to the kitchen. His hair was damp against his skull, and droplets of water still beaded on his chest and shoulders. He wore only a towel wrapped around his waist. It was somewhat smaller than the one Abby wore, and Kerry suspected that Abby had filched the big towel for precisely that reason.

"Oh, we've been talking," Abby told him, "about the real reason why Kerry was upset."

"Abby...!" Kerry really didn't want to go through it all again with Luka.

"She was feeling left out because we slept with John and didn't include her," Abby finished, surprising Kerry.

Luka looked at her, his expression softening. "Oh," he said. "Kerry, why didn't you just say so? We could have understood that."

Kerry stumbled, caught off guard. "Oh, uh, well, you know, it, um..." She swallowed. "It kind of defeated the point. I mean, if he was turning to you guys because of me, then having me there would have been a little, well..." She shrugged.

He leaned his hip against the table, unconscious that the towel rode up a little extra. Not quite enough for the women's enjoyment, but close. "Sure, John was hurt," he said, "but he's getting over it. He'll understand."

"So, we were saying," Abby cut in, "that maybe next time the four of us should all get together at once, and...see what happens." She added a sly grin at the end. "Right, Kerry?"

Kerry froze, caught on the spot. She saw now how neatly Abby had trapped her. If she said no, Luka would know there was more than she let on, and it would be admitting to Abby that she was afraid to face John. But there was no way to avoid him if she agreed...

Come on, you can do this. It's just sex. It doesn't mean you're in love. Besides, John would never agree to seeing her again anyway, with or without Abby and Luka.

"Right," she said, nodding and forcing a smile.

John was reaching for his stethoscope when the door to the lounge opened and
Kerry and Luka walked in, laughing about something. John glanced their way,
nodded and said a soft "Good morning," and then continued to get ready for
his shift. It was nice to see Kerry in a good mood for a change. The days
since she had told him that she didn't care had been tense ones, with Kerry
snapping off nearly everyone's heads.

"Good morning, Dr. Carter," Kerry greeted him as she went to her locker.
Her mind and heart were awhirl with emotions at seeing him. She had known
he was working today -- she was the one who had made up the schedule for
this week -- but she had been unprepared for the barrage of emotions that
would hit her when she did see him. The strongest of those emotions was
jealousy. Jealousy over the fact that he had left her and went to Abby and
Luka. Okay, she did have to admit to herself that he didn't go running to
their bed, but that was still where he ended up. And Kerry also couldn't
forget Abby's words from this morning, "You love him," she had said. Abby
had even bet Kerry that she would admit that love before the end of the
month. Kerry had easily accepted the bet, knowing she would win. But now,
seeing John, smelling his cologne and seeing the sadness in his eyes, well
now, Kerry wasn't so sure that it was such an easy bet. But, she had truth
on her side. She didn't fall in love any more. Couldn't fall in love. No
matter how intense John's brown eyes were. Kerry also couldn't forget the
other thing Abby had said; the bit about a foursome between her, Kerry, Luka
and John. While the thought excited her, Kerry knew there was no way that
John would ever agree to something like that. And a part of her was very
glad of that fact, too. While she still felt confident saying that she
wasn't in love with John Carter, Kerry was too afraid of what might happen
if she were once again in an intimate setting with him. Especially an
intimate setting where she had to watch him loving and being loved by other
people.

Luka watched Kerry with amusement. While Kerry had been showering, Abby had
told him about the bet. He wasn't as confident as Abby that Kerry would
lose the bet. Oh, he suspected that she did love John in her own way, but
he didn't think she'd ever admit it to herself, let alone to anyone else.
Still, the look on her face as she stole glances in John's direction was
priceless. Just priceless. As Luka got ready for work, he saw John close
his locker and head for the coffeepot.

"Would you pour me a cup, please? I had a hard night and could use the
caffeine," Luka called over his shoulder.

"Sure. Dr. Weaver? Would you like some coffee?" John asked as he reached
into the cabinet for clean cups.

"No thank you." Kerry firmly shut her locker. "Don't be too long. I know
that our shift doesn't start for another ten minutes, but the shift should
be started on time. The patients are depending on us." And with that,
Kerry escaped the suddenly small room.

"Is she talking about the two people sitting in chairs?" John asked as he
poured the coffee.

"I'm not sure. She's been crabby since breakfast."

John nearly dropped the cup that he was holding out toward Luka. "Since
breakfast?"

Luka nodded. "Yes, since breakfast. Kerry spent the night with us. This
morning she found out about the night you spent with us. She wasn't very
happy about that. Not happy at all."

"What did she say?" John asked as he placed his cup of coffee on the table
and then sat down in a chair. He couldn't trust himself to stand. If Luka
dropped another bombshell, then John wasn't sure he could keep from dropping
his cup.

"Oh, this and that. But she was jealous. You could clearly see that."
Luka sat down as well.

"I never doubted that she wanted me sexually, Luka. She admitted that
much..." John had to stop talking when the door opened and Dave Malucci
walked into the lounge.

"Man, what a shift. If your shift is only half as busy, then you guys will
be dragging by the time you go home," Dave said. He headed to his locker,
looking as tired as he claimed.

"Bad, huh?" Luka asked.

"Oh, yeah. It was foggy last night, so we had a lot of MVA's. Too many if
you ask me."

"Be careful going home, Dave. It's still foggy outside." John got to his
feet and headed for the door. "Dr. Kovac? You coming?"

Luka grinned. "Of course. See you later, Dave."

"Have a good shift, guys," Dave replied.


The day was agonizingly slow, giving John plenty of time to think. He
thought about how happy he had been during the short time he had been with
Kerry. He thought about how understanding, loving and supportive Abby and
Luka had been during the night he spent with them. John thought about Kerry
in bed with Abby and Luka and he wished he had been there, had also been a
part of the loving, even if 'love' was a term that Kerry didn't want to use.
But he hadn't been included. Probably because Kerry wouldn't have wanted
him there, since he was sure that Abby and Luka had enjoyed being with him.

But Abby and Luka couldn't take the place of Kerry in his heart. No one
could. But John knew that he had to find a way to Kerry out of his heart
and mind. She didn't want to be there and it was fruitless for him to keep
her there. To do so could only result in an unanswered longing that would
make a complete recovery from his addiction more difficult. John could see
that this is what they had in mind when they advised that a person avoid
romantic relationships during their first year of sobriety from alcohol or
drugs. It wasn't to keep the addict from finding a new crutch, it was to
keep them from looking for something to ease the emptiness inside of them if
that relationship failed. John had that emptiness, even though there had
been no failed relationship. A relationship required two people, not just
one.

There was a lot for John to think about during the day, questions that he
had for the long timers at his AA meeting. He was still thinking when he
headed into the lounge to get ready to go home. As before, he ran into
Kerry and Luka.

"John, just the person I was hoping to see," Luka said. "Abby called
earlier and she wanted to know if you would like to come over for dinner
before you two head out to the meeting. She's making a very special
desert," Luka said with a smile and a wink that he hoped Kerry saw. Abby
had been very clear that she wanted Luka to arrive home with a very willing
and able John Carter. She wouldn't tell Luka what she had planned, but he
could hear the smile in her voice when she told him that it would be a very
interesting evening. She had also been clear when she had directed Luka to
ask John when Kerry was within earshot. Luka was beginning to see that Abby
was a very sneaky person when she wanted to be.

"That would be nice," John replied. His grandparents had been scheduled to
head out of town that morning, so there was no one at home for him to put up
a front with. If he called now, then Corrine could make dinner plans for
herself, and not have to worry about feeding him.

"Great. Did you drive all the way into work?"

John nodded. "Yeah. Why? Do you need a ride home?"

"I do. I'll call Abby and let her know that you'll be coming home with me."
Luka left the lounge and John could immediately feel a sense of disapproval
in the air, definitely emanating from Kerry.

"How was your day?" John asked as he put away his things.

"Okay." Kerry's mind was racing. She had to find some way to keep John
from going home with Luka. But she couldn't think of anything that would
keep John here, either. Except for one thing. "Don't be too quick to
leave. We need a urine sample from you." Kerry brusquely informed him. It
really wasn't necessary, she knew. Mark had made John give one yesterday.
But it would delay him from leaving with Luka and give her some time in
which to think of an argument to use in order to talk John out of going over
to their place. There was also a small sense of vindictiveness present, as
Kerry knew how much John hated the random urine and blood tests. In a small
way, this would pay him back for leaving her and running to Abby and Luka.
And for what he would most likely do with Abby and Luka tonight if she
wasn't able to talk him out of going home with Luka.

John accepted the cup from Kerry with a distasteful look on his face. "And
just who is supposed to watch me? You?"

"There's no need to have an attitude about this, Carter," Kerry snapped.
She hadn't thought about who would watch. Usually Mark administered the
urine tests, not her. "Luka's obviously out of the question for this, but
Benton's still here, isn't he? I'll ask him to supervise."

John's grip on the cup tightened. Kerry knew how much he respected Peter
Benton and she had to know how humiliated he would feel with Benton watching
him pee into that damn cup.

"You know what, Dr. Weaver, I think this can wait until tomorrow, when
Mark's shift overlaps with mine. *If* I've taken anything since yesterday's
test, then it will still show up in tomorrow's sample. You can keep your
cup." John shoved it at Kerry, slammed his locker closed and walked out of
the lounge, not even bothering to see if she was shocked, angry or a
combination of the two. Was this some subtle way that Kerry was using to
tell him that she really didn't give a damn about his feelings? To make him
do that in front of Benton? To insist on a sample in the first place? John
shook his head as he approached Luka at the admit desk, still on the phone
with Abby.

"Ready?" John asked, wanting to leave before Kerry got out of the lounge.

"Sure. Abby? We're on our way now. See you in a bit." Luka hung up, then
he and John left the ER.


Back in the lounge, Kerry stared blankly at the cup. Why had she done that
to John? Why had she been so vindictive toward him?


Dinner with Abby and Luka had been relaxed and entertaining, as well as
filling. When John finally pushed his plate away, he was full. "That was
great, Abby. So, what's this 'special' desert that Luka mentioned?"

Abby grinned across the table at him. "That will have to wait until *after*
our AA meeting. Speaking of which," Abby glanced up at the clock on the
wall, "We have just enough time to clean up the kitchen before we leave."

John got to his feet and started collecting the dishes from the table. "I'm
looking forward to the end of the meeting then," he replied with a smile.

"You shouldn't be. That's one of the reasons why new relationships aren't
encouraged by AA and NA. Your attention should be on the meeting and not on
what's going to happen after the meeting," Abby chided him.

"It's not my fault, Abby. *You* were the one who brought up the subject,
not me. All I asked is what was for desert, not when it was being served,"
John pointed out, still in good humor.

"I think we should all forget about desert until we get back," Luka said as
he started to rinse dishes and put them into the dishwasher.

Abby, who was in the process of putting away the leftover food, paused.
"Where are you going?" Luka hadn't mentioned going anywhere.

"I thought I would go with the two of you. I've never been to an AA meeting
and it would be interesting to see what happens there."

Both Abby and John shook their heads, but it was Abby who spoke. "That's
not a good idea, Luka. It's not encouraged for non-alcoholics to attend."

"John's not an alcoholic, but he attends. You're his sponsor."

"I go because AA meetings are acceptable substitutes for NA meetings.
Besides, NA meetings aren't held as often. I'm not the only former addict
there. But, Abby's right about who should and shouldn't attend. And you'd
be bored, Luka."

Abby nodded. "John's right about that. You'd probably find the meeting
very boring. You just wait here and we'll be back as soon as the meeting
ends."

Luka slowly nodded. He still wanted to go, but it was obvious that he
wasn't wanted. He returned to doing the dishes, trying to think of a way
that he could get there without them knowing. He knew where the meeting was
being held, so he could go there. Maybe get there after it started and
leave before it ended? Then they would never know he had been there.
Feeling better now that he had a plan of action, Luka smiled at Abby and
John as he listened to their lighthearted banter.

Ten minutes later, Abby and John were out the door after saying farewell to
Luka with hugs and kisses. The kisses were enough to make Luka want to hold
on tightly to them both and not let them go anywhere, but he resisted that
impulse. After waiting five minutes, Luka grabbed his coat and, after
double-checking on the address for the AA meeting, he headed out the door.


Luka stood on the sidewalk, looking up at the old theater marquee. The
shadows from the letters that once spelled out "Bijou" were still easily
readable. In his travels around the United States, Luka had come across
many theaters with that name. It seemed to be a popular name at one time
and he wondered if it had any particular meaning. Had it been the name for
a chain of theaters? The outside doors were chained and Luka wondered where
one went to get inside. He looked around and then spotted a sign for the AA
meeting, indicating that the meeting was being held in the basement. Luka
walked around the building and finally found the steps that led to the
basement of the building. Once downstairs, he saw advertisements for AA,
various support groups and a church of some sort on a bulletin board.
Obviously several organizations shared the use of the old Bijou Theater, he
thought.

Hearing voices from behind a set of closed swinging doors, Luka poked his
head inside. A table laden with coffee and doughnuts was along the far wall
and a man was at the front of the room, speaking at a podium about how bad
he had felt after wrecking the family sedan during a drunken spree. This
was the place. Luka scanned the room and finally spotted the back of Abby
and John's heads. They were seated halfway up the aisle, on the far side.
Luka slipped into one of the empty chairs in the back, exchanging a nervous
smile with an older man who was also seated back there.

"First time?" the man asked.

Luka nodded. "Yeah. First time."

The other man looked sympathetic. "I've been coming here, well not *here*
exactly, but to AA for close to twenty years now. There are still times I
crave a strong drink, but I get past it. You'll make it, buddy."

"I'm not an alcoholic," Luka informed him.

"Alcohol, drugs. It's all the same when you get right down to it. It's the
craving that's the same. You'll make it. Trust me."

"Thank you," Luka replied, not thinking it was worth it to tell the man that
he wasn't a drug addict either. It bothered him a bit that this man had
been having cravings for twenty years. Did Abby go through times when she
desperately wanted a drink? Did she have times when she was in the same
condition that John was in the other night? Luka hoped not, but he was
afraid that he his hope was in vain.

"How long do these meetings last?" Luka asked, wondering just when he'd have
to make his escape.

The man shrugged. "It's supposed to be an hour long, but if a lot of people
feel the need to talk, then it will last longer. If you have to be
somewhere, then you can just get up and leave when you have to. No one
cares if you do."

Luka nodded, then checked the time on the clock, mentally making note of
when to leave.

Thirty minutes later, Luka was stifling a yawn and trying to stay awake.
John and Abby had been right. This was boring. How many times did people
have to get up there and say the same thing that the person before them had
just said? It was all the same. Luka was still thinking about how many
different ways a person could say they felt like scum for being a drunk when
he noticed that the people in front of him were getting to their feet. His
head jerked up and he stared at the clock, seeing it was past the time he
was supposed to leave. He stood up so quickly that the chair fell
backwards, the metal making a loud clanging sound on the hard tiled floor.
Luka turned and fumbled with the chair, hurrying to get it upright before he
was spotted.

"Luka." Luka froze when he heard Abby say his name. Then he took a deep
breath, righted the chair and turned to smile warmly at her. John was
standing to Abby's side, out of the way of people who were leaving.

"Abby. John."

John grinned at Luka, but remained silent. He wanted to see just what Abby
was going to do now that she had spotted Luka. He had seen Luka sitting
back here about twenty minutes earlier and had thought the man would leave
before the meeting ended. That's what he would have done if he had been the
one sneaking into a meeting he had been told not to attend.

"Luka." Abby repeated. She should have known that Luka would be here. He
had given up far too easily on his desire to come with her and John. She
was so angry with him for this. What if she or John had wanted to share
tonight? And then spotted him out in the audience? She was definitely
going to give Luka a piece of her mind about this stunt. But not here.
There were still people in here. "Come on."

Abby stalked off and John stood aside so Luka could follow her, then John
followed Luka. "I think I'm in trouble, no?" Luka asked John.

"I think so." John agreed. "I'll be there to keep her from tearing you
apart too badly." John said, grinning.

"I appreciate that. I really do." Luka replied with a grin of his own.
The grin quickly faded though when he saw Abby waiting for him beside a door
marked 'balcony'.

"Up here." She ordered as she opened the door and disappeared up the steps.

"After you," John said as he held the door open. He didn't think people
were allowed to roam the old theater, but he wasn't going to argue with Abby
about it tonight.

"Thank you." Luka followed Abby upstairs with John right behind him. Once
the door closed, it became dark on the stairs, although he could still hear
the voices of people in the meeting room. When he reached the head of the
stairs, he could see a little bit. The doors below them which led to the
unused lobby, were fully open, and light from the lobby shone into the
theater proper, giving them enough light to see each other.

As soon as Luka was standing in front of her, Abby let go of her restraint.
"How dare you follow us here? I told you that you weren't allowed to attend
this meeting, didn't I?"

Luka nodded. "You did. But nobody asked me if I was supposed to be here, so
it was okay."

"It's not okay, Luka. What if I had felt the urge to get up there and
share? Did you think about that? What if I had been in the middle of
telling people about you or something at work and then saw you sitting
there? You didn't think about that, did you?"

Luka's face fell. "I've done something to make you want to drink? You
haven't said anything to me, Abby."

Abby shook her head. "You're missing the point, Luka. Having you there
would be disruptive."

"I wasn't disruptive. Well, at least not until the chair fell over. But
you didn't answer my question. Have I done something to make you want a
drink?"

"You're doing something now!" Abby said through clenched teeth. "You are
so impossible at times, Luka Kovac! John...see if you can explain things to
this thick-headed lug." Abby turned and headed back down the stairs.

John sank into one of the chairs. "Relax, Luka, you haven't done anything.
Abby was just trying to make the point that if we had been up there sharing,
then seeing you would have inhibited us from saying what we really felt."

"But that didn't happen. Neither one of you got up to share." Luka sat in
the chair beside John's.

"No. Not tonight. She'll get over it. So, what did you think of the
meeting?" John asked with a grin.

"It was...boring. Very boring."

John laughed. "It is at that, isn't it?"

Luka laughed. "You did warn me. I should have listened to you."

"Yeah, you should have." John said, thinking how nice it sounded when Luka
laughed, and how handsome Luka looked when he was laughing. He also thought
that Luka looked especially good when he was looking contrite, as he had
while Abby had been telling him off.

Without warning, John sat up straight and leaned over toward Luka, capturing
his mouth in a light kiss. When John started to pull away, he was heartened
to feel Luka's arm wrap around his body while Luka's other hand cradled the
back of his neck to hold him in place. And then Luka deepened the kiss, his
tongue seeking entrance. John opened his mouth, eager to see which one of
them would win the war of the battling tongues.

"Have you ever had sex in a movie theater before?" Luka asked after winning
the battle.

"No. Have you?"

Luka nodded. "When I was 17. And it was with a girl. I'd like to do it
with you. Here."

John nodded, a smile spreading over his face. "There are still people here
though." They could hear voices wafting up the stairs.

"I know. Makes it more exciting doesn't it? Knowing that anyone could open
that door, walk up those stairs and catch us." Luka reached out and began
to undo John's tie. "I know it excites the Hell out of me."

John's already hard cock wouldn't allow him to contradict Luka on that.
"What about Abby?"

"She left. Her loss is my gain, right?" Luka was now undoing the buttons
of John's shirt.

"I'd say it's my gain," John said as he felt Luka's mouth on his skin and
his awareness of the voices downstairs faded.

In the ladies room, Abby was thinking about how angry Luka could make her feel at times. It was so like him to follow them to the meeting after being told that he wasn't wanted there. Shaking her head, Abby splashed water on her face in an attempt to calm down. It didn't help matters any that Carter seemed to feel at ease with Luka being there. So, okay, she was the one with the problem. AA was her milieu, not Luka's. She was the one who was helping John. Not Luka. Dammitt, she...Abby laughed out loud as she realized that she was jealous of Luka's presence there. She was behaving like a territorial bitch or something like that, wanting to keep some aspects of John's life all to herself. If she felt that way about John and wasn't romantically in love with him, then how was Kerry feeling about him right now? Abby hoped that the woman was positively green with jealousy over knowing that John was with her and Luka tonight.

Well, the sooner she got Luka and John home, the sooner there would be a real reason for Kerry to be jealous, Abby thought. She nodded at herself in the mirror, adjusted her shirt, smoothed out her pants and went back to the old theater section, happily ignoring the people who were just now arriving for the next meeting scheduled for the night.

As Abby walked up the semi-dark steps to the balcony, she heard the unmistakable sounds of two people having sex. With a grin on her face, she quietly walked the rest of the way to where she had left John and Luka and her grin grew wider as she watched the two men together. Both were naked, their clothes carelessly thrown over the seats, there were even a few articles on the floor. Luka was leaning against a seat, his head thrown back, eyes closed as John knelt on the floor in front of him. From what Abby could tell, John was being damn successful in giving Luka a great blowjob, and she settled against the railing to watch. But as she watched Luka near orgasm time and time again, she began to think that it really wasn't fair for Luka to be the one receiving all the pleasure. Luka had disobeyed her wishes after all, and he did deserve *some* punishment for it.

Stepping forward, Abby cleared her throat, making John jerk back, losing contact with Luka and immediately blushing over being caught. Luka's eyelids quickly opened, but it took him a little bit for his brain to fully register that his pleasure had ceased.

"Abby," John simply said.

Luka slowly smiled. "Couldn't stay away?" He asked.

Abby shook her head. "Nope. And it's a good thing, too. You see, it occurred to me that boys who are disobedient need to be punished, Luka. And it doesn't look to me like you're being punished."

Luka smirked. "And just how would you go about punishing me?" He knew that Abby found it exciting to watch him with John, so he really didn't think she would put a stop to *that*!

"Weeell," Abby began as she seated herself into the chair beside Luka. "I don't think it's fair that you're being pleasured. I think that John should be the one on the receiving end. Don't you agree, John? Oh, don't even bother answering that. It doesn't matter if you agree or not. *I* want Luka to pleasure you, and that's that."

John laughed. "I won't argue with you, Abby. Whatever you want, you usually get."

"Traitor," Luka replied, but he wasn't upset over Abby's announcement. "So, you want me to go down on John?"

Abby smiled as she thought about what she wanted Luka to do. "I think that a good start would be for you to kiss John. Like you mean it. Kiss him like you've never kissed anyone before and will never get a chance to kiss him again."

Luka's eyebrows raised as he got to his feet. So Abby wanted to play director, did she? He felt a thrill rush through him as he pulled John into an embrace and started to kiss him. He could feel John responding to the kiss and knew that this bit of Abby giving orders was as exciting for John as it was for him. Abby's voice lilted into his thoughts. "Caress him now, trail your fingers lightly over John's stomach, but don't touch his nipples or his cock. Just touch his skin. And keep kissing him. Kiss his lips, his chin, his neck, his shoulders, and his collarbone. Don't lose contact with him."

Luka nodded his head, then kissed his way down John's throat and to his neck, just as instructed. His hands were busy, too. One was lightly skimming John's back while the other was doing the same to John's chest. Luka could feel the man trembling under his touch, and he hoped that Abby was at least half aroused by this display as he.

Abby bit her bottom lip as she watched Luka put her instructions into motion. John's eyes were closed, but his face was flushed with desire, his lips swollen from Luka's kiss. Abby's eyes did an inventory of the rest of John's body, noting the pink tinge to his skin as his desire spread, and the ripeness of his erection. It almost seemed to her that John's body was straining, taut and ready for more.

"His nipples, Luka...suck his nipples. Play with them." Abby was nearly breathless as her passion began to build within her.

Without missing a beat, Luka lowered his head and took a sweet nub into his mouth. John moaned loudly and Luka was half-afraid that everyone downstairs would be able to hear him. And, if they did hear John? Well, Luka would definitely not be sharing this bounty with anyone -- save for Abby.

As Luka moved his mouth to the other nipple, John grabbed him by the shoulders, pulling him in close, desperate for more contact. "Yes," he breathed. "Yes, Luka."

Abby was incredibly aroused by watching John's arousal. No longer able to sit by and just instruct Luka, she wanted to participate. Abby got to her feet and began to strip. "His cock, Luka -- take it into your mouth. Worship John."

Luka slowly descended to his knees, his mouth already open to take John. From the corner of his eye he could see Abby undressing and he wondered if this would be a repeat of their other time with John or if he would get a treat and he and John would take Abby together. He hoped the latter. Oh, how he hoped the latter. Closing his eyes, Luka redoubled his efforts to make John squirm and then he felt the heat from Abby's body as she stepped up beside John.

Luka opened his eyes, looking up to see Abby and John kissing, each one fondling the other. He grinned around John's cock, then got to his feet and joined in with the kissing and fondling. He was half expecting Abby to object and to set him back on task, but she didn't. Instead, her mouth moved from his to John's, kissing them both with equal fervor.

"I sure hope that we've got condoms," Abby said during one switchover.

Both men nodded, then grinned. Abby chuckled. "Good. Very good. So, maybe tonight should be John's choice? What will it be, John? How do you want us?"

John leaned forward and kissed Abby tenderly, then turned his head to kiss Luka in the same manner. With a hand on each lover he pondered the question. It had felt good to be in Luka before, but it had also felt good to have Luka inside of his own body. However, it would also be good to be in Abby. He finally decided that this was a decision he didn't want to have to make.

"How about...making it ladies choice?" he asked, smiling.

Abby's smile widened as she considered the possibilities. "I think I can live with that. Ladies choice it is, then." She reached out and grasped both penises, holding them firmly as she looked from Luka to John and then back again. "Since Luka has been bad, I think that he'll just have to watch at first." Abby let go of Luka and leaned toward John, kissing him passionately and feeling his cock twitch in her hand as his arousal heightened.

Luka's own arousal never flagged as he watched Abby practically devour John. To Luka, it seemed as if Abby were all over the other man, her hands moving over John's skin while her mouth toyed with him at the same time. Luka wanted nothing more than to join her, to make either one of them moan with pleasure -- right now he really didn't care which one it was he pleasured, as long as he wasn't left out.

Somehow Abby had managed to reach a pair of pants and had retrieved a condom. She ripped the package open with her teeth, then unrolled the latex onto John. She then ordered John to sit on an arm rest, his legs her cushion as she lowered herself onto his erection. John softly gasped as he found himself fully inside of Abby. She was facing away from him and he reached around to hold her onto his lap, letting his hands grasp her breasts, feeling the peaks of her nipples against his palms. John began to move his hands in a small circle, letting his skin lightly rub against those peaks and making Abby purr with pleasure. There was no other movement between them -- just his hands on her breasts and his mouth on the nape of her neck, nibbling, kissing, and licking.

Abby threw her head back to let John have greater access to the side of her neck. Through partly slitted eyelids, Abby could see Luka watching them, his cock hard and his eyes dark. "I think," Abby began, closing her eyes and gasping as John's tongue licked along her jugular vein. "I think there's room for one more..."

Luka grinned, then tried to find his pants. The pile of clothing wasn't huge, but it was mixed up and it took him a few moments to find his clothes. He withdrew a condom and quickly had it on. Then he approached Abby from the front, slowly entering her. She was tighter than he could have ever imagined and the feel of John's cock against his own was intoxicating.

Abby let out a groan of strain - but not pain - as she took in the extra girth of a second lover. She'd never been with two men at once this way before, and the feeling was extraordinary. Lord knew she didn't think she'd be able to handle this sort of thing often, but that just made this more of a special occasion. Pinned deliciously between the two men, stretched wider than ever before, she felt a brief moment that bordered on panic, but rode it out as it converted to excitement. You can take this, she reminded herself. Women are built to stretch further than this. She'd delivered enough babies to know that much.

"You...have to do...all the work," Abby ordered breathlessly as she reached back and wrapped her arms around John's neck, holding him in place as he nibbled on her shoulder.

"With pleasure," Luka replied. It was difficult at first, finding a good rhythm. He was tall and had to bend his knees in order to stay in position. But the friction of thrusting in and out of Abby while rubbing against John was creating an incredible sensation along his own organ. The moans of his lovers urged him on and his thrusts became more frenzied. Finally, he heard Abby telling him to slow down and he tried his best to obey that command.

As he slowed down, he heard a low whimper from John and Luka grinned. He looked at Abby and saw she was grinning as well, her eyes flashing pleasure like he'd never seen before. Discovering the wild woman inside Abby Lockhart had been a delight, but it was even better to learn that they hadn't yet reached the limits of that wildness.

Abby was in a new level of heaven, feeling her two favorite men simultaneously filling and enveloping her, and she stifled a cry of joy as their movements within her brought new explosions of sensation. God, she thought, whoever said three's a crowd just wasn't doing it right. She'd determined that their first time with John, and then again with Kerry...

Kerry. The thought of the other woman added a new flavor to Abby's rapture. If only they could bring her into this, and make it work...she let the image fill her mind, the four of them together somehow. And then what? Kerry and John would admit their love for each other, perhaps move in again, maybe get married. Maybe she and Luka would, too, she wasn't sure. And then they'd all be happy together.

She envisioned them all, even as John and Luka continued fucking her. They'd be the closest of friends, the two couples, and sometimes, maybe once a week or so, they'd meet and trade off, sexually. She'd make love with John while they listened to Luka making Kerry scream in ecstasy. Or they'd ignore the gender lines and enjoy their own sexes, John with Luka, Kerry with Abby...the possibilities seemed endless to her; they'd barely scratched the surface.

Oh, if Kerry could be here now, Abby thought delightedly. The four of them, Abby, Kerry, Luka, and John... they spun around in her mind, like a perfect little quadrangle.

She felt both men seem to swell inside her, and knew that they were both on the verge of coming, and she felt her own orgasm right at the bursting point, like a balloon inflated to its utmost capacity. She tried to hold it, balancing precariously on the edge, making it last as long as possible, and then she came.

The scream was forcing its way out of her throat when she remembered that there were people downstairs, and she brought her mouth forward, latching onto Luka's shoulder and using it to muffle her cry. He yelped as her teeth bit into his skin, but then his own voice was smothered as John's mouth met his.

Luka came inside her, followed almost immediately by John. The release of tension could be felt by all three. Their embrace tightened deliciously, then slowly eased apart. Luka drew away, making a slightly sticky noise. She let herself lean contentedly back against John as the cooler air washed over her.

Luka rubbed at the bruise where she'd bitten him. "Well, now I've been sufficiently punished," he said with a rueful smile.

That made her laugh quietly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"It's all right. It was a small price to pay for that experience."

"That was so incredible," Abby agreed, running her hands through John's hair. "I wish..."

"What? What do you wish?" Luka asked.

"I wish that...never mind. John wouldn't agree."

Hearing his name grabbed John's attention and he lifted his head from Abby's skin. "Wouldn't agree about what? That this is incredible? I agree with that wholeheartedly." To accentuate his point, he bucked his hips slightly, eliciting moans from Luka and Abby.

"Well, yes, this is great. But, I was remembering how great it had been with Kerry. And how wonderful it would be with the four of us. All at the same time."

"Here?" John asked, slightly confused.

Abby laughed out loud, then remembered that they could be overheard, so she lowered her voice. "No. I was thinking at the apartment. You wouldn't have a problem with that, would you John? I mean, you liked having sex with Kerry and she seemed to enjoy having sex with you. And the two of you have been enjoying Luka and me."

John nodded as he nuzzled his way to the other side of Abby's neck.

"You're sure about that?" Abby asked, a twinkle in her eye. Luka shook his head, but he was smiling.

"Yeah." John murmured, then he began to suck on Abby's soft skin.

"Great. I'll call Kerry and see I we can make that a firm date. Luka, faster."

Luka grinned as he once more obeyed Abby's command. It was amazing to him how easily Kerry and John were caught up in Abby's little plan. Luka still had no idea where Abby was going with this, but he knew it was going to be very interesting.


Thirty minutes later, the trio cautiously exited from the stairway to the balcony. There were people in the hallway, all headed for the meeting room. Most of them ignored the newcomers, but a few sent wondering glances in the direction of Abby, John and Luka. Luka looked at his lovers and shrugged, then attempted to lead the way out of the old theater.

"Excuse me." They all turned when someone appeared to be calling out to them.

"Yes?" John asked of the older woman who was approaching them, pamphlets in hand.

"Were you here to attend the book study?" She hopefully asked.

John shook his head. "Uh, no. We were just leaving."

"Oh, that's too bad. It promises to be quite a discussion tonight. Here," she thrust a few pamphlets into John's hand. "Read these anyway. We've been going over the latest biography of St. Augustine. These pamphlets highlight the chapters of the book. If you find yourself interested in what you read, then please come back next week to join us."

John smiled at the woman. "Thank you. I'll read them."

"Good. Well, since the three of you were leaving, I'll let you be. Have a blessed night."

Abby managed to remain quiet until they were all safely out of earshot outside of the building. "A religious meeting? We were up there having wild sex while a bunch of religious people were gathering?"

"I don't know if they were a church or anything," John said. "She said it was a discussion group." John had pocketed the pamphlets but he intended to read them when he had the chance. "So, forget about her already. I believe I was promised a really wonderful desert and I'm hungry."

Luka laughed. "I think you just finished desert, John."

"Well, I'm still hungry," John reasserted, grinning.

Abby chuckled. "I think I have desert at home. And who knows? I might be able to find something for your other appetite as well."

"What other appetite? Are you trying to imply that I get too much sex?" John asked, trying his best to look serious.

"I was thinking that we didn't get enough sex tonight." It hadn't missed Luka's attention that he had never enjoyed John the way he had intended. "What we did was great and I enjoyed it a lot, but..."

"Exactly." John nodded as he shared a smile with Luka. Abby's reappearance had put their plans on hold.

"Oh, I think I get it. Two's company, but three's a crowd?"

"Not really." John said. "I was definitely turned on when you were watching and telling Luka what to do."

"I see." Abby sucked on her lower lip, then grinned. "So, how turned on would you be if I watched and gave *you* orders?"

Luka and John exchanged happy glances. "I'd be very turned on." Luka said.

"Good, but I wasn't asking you," Abby pointed out. She looked intently at John. "Well? Which would turn you on more? Me telling Luka what to do, or me telling you what to do?"

"I don't think I can answer that question until I get to experience both options." John replied.

They were now at Luka's car and after he unlocked the doors, they piled into it, securing the seat belts.

"I'm glad you thought to drive," Abby said. "We'll get home so much quicker this way."

"So, you aren't so angry with me now?" Luka asked with a twinkle in his eyes.

"No," Abby admitted. "Not so much so. But don't you ever pull a stunt like this again."

"I'll do my best, Abby."

"Can you guys quit talking so Luka can drive? I'm hungry." John complained from the back seat.

Abby laughed. "By all means, let's not make your stomach -- or anything else of yours, have to wait any longer than necessary."

They all laughed together as they pulled away from the curb. Abby loved the way they sounded together, and knew that the chorus of voices needed only one more to be complete...

******************

Kerry sat quietly in her favorite chair, sipping at her drink and reaching again for the stereo's remote control. If CDs could burn out, the Tina Turner disk would be a memory by now.

The nights she had spent alone at home in her life were too numerous to count, but there was a time when she knew how to deal with them. She had books to read, movies on tape and laserdisc to watch, and friends to call on the phone if she wanted to talk. But not now.

Now, she sat quietly, drinking and playing the same song over and over again. She could program the stereo for infinite replay if she wanted, but there was something masochistic, almost compulsive, about pressing the button manually. Making the stereo play the same track, same disc, same lyrics.

What's love got to do with it?
What's love got to do with it?
What's love got to do with it?
What's love got to do with it?
What's love got to do...

With a contented stretch that only comes from complete physical relaxation, Abby slid out of bed, careful not to disturb the two men slumbering under the covers. They needed their rest; she'd made certain that they had an extensive workout last night, and they'd given her one in return. Plus, they looked so good together that she hated to wake either of them. Now, she thought, if only there was a particular woman in between them. A redhead...

It puzzled her, occasionally, why her imagination insisted on adding Kerry Weaver to the group. Certainly, she and John would be wonderful for each other, but there was more than that. She wanted Kerry for herself, too. Not all the time, and not exclusively, but there was an ongoing attraction that she couldn't figure out. Kerry wasn't the most beautiful woman she'd known, to be honest, but Abby hadn't felt anything beyond a passing interest for most of them. Why Kerry?

Then again, she thought, why not Kerry? What did reasons matter?

Showering and dressing quickly and quietly, she penned a note for John and Luka, pecked them each lightly on the mouth, and slipped out of the apartment. She wasn't often out and about this early, and the morning air felt good. Funny how a night of great sex will do that. Perhaps most surprisingly, she didn't feel like smoking.

She had no real destination in mind, as she wasn't due at the hospital for several hours. Maybe she'd get a bagel and coffee at a café somewhere, read the morning paper, browse the bookstores, and then circle back and see what the men were up to, as it were. But instead, she found her feet taking her toward the El. It was only after she'd paid the fare and gotten on the train that she knew where she was headed. And who she was headed for.

* * *

Kerry was already half-awake when the doorbell rang, and she wasn't happy about it. She'd overslept before, when she'd had an exhausting previous day or night, but then it was really sleep. Most days, she woke early and adjusted to consciousness quickly and easily. Not so today, and that irked her.

The doorbell sounded again, and she groped for her robe, fumbling to pull it on. She reached for the crutch, but her fingers weren't entirely coordinated, and it fell to the floor. "Shit," she muttered, bending awkwardly to retrieve it. Getting it settled in her grip, she cinched her robe's belt tighter, slapped her face with her free hand to wake herself up, and went downstairs. A glance at the clock showed it was early, but not so early as to make visitors unreasonable. She opened the door.

"Good morning, Kerry," Abby said, beaming at her. "Did I wake you?"

"No, I, uh...no. Come in," Kerry replied, forcing an expression of hospitality onto her face.

Abby stepped inside, and hugged Kerry around the neck. It was a gesture of real warmth and affection, and Kerry felt curiously touched by it. It wasn't often she could really think of someone, women in particular, as friends. Jeannie had been lukewarm and inconsistent in their friendship, Carol had been distracted by her own problems, and Kim had had other ideas about their relationship...

"Sorry for dropping by unexpectedly," Abby said, releasing the older woman and letting her close the door. "I just felt like seeing you before work, if that's okay?"

"Sure," Kerry replied automatically. "I was about to have breakfast. Do you want some?"

"I'm starved, now that you mention it," Abby told her. "Burned up a lot of calories last night...if you know what I mean."

"Whoop, time to play guess-who-got-laid, is it?" Kerry smiled and led the way into the kitchen. Consulting briefly with Abby, she mixed up a bowl of batter and poured it onto her waffle iron. Abby volunteered to set out flatware and utensils and pouring glasses of juice, and they ate together. "You and Luka pulled out all the stops, huh?" Kerry asked, bringing them back to the conversation at hand.

"Well, you're two-thirds right. John was with us." Abby finished the last of her waffle and got up to rinse her plate in the sink. The slight tensing of Kerry's shoulders hadn't escaped her, however. "That bothers you, doesn't it?"

Her hostess held up a hand. "It doesn't bother me, Abby. I was out of line when I objected to you and Luka sleeping with him the other morning, and I'm sorry." She sighed. "John can do whatever he wants, and I do trust you both to take care of him. And I respect your judgment that he's stable enough to be with you."

"Thank you," Abby said, returning to her seat near Kerry's. "But it still bothers you. That's okay, you know. You have a right to miss him."

After a long pause, she nodded. "I do."

Abby reached over and took her hand, squeezing gently.

"Let me ask you something," Kerry spoke up. "How badly have I hurt him? I may not love John the way he thinks he loves me, but I don't want him to be hurt."

"Well, he does miss you, Kerry, and whatever you may think, his love isn't imagined. It's real." Seeing Kerry's skepticism, she added, "Is that really so impossible?"

"Not impossible, just unlikely." Kerry pulled away and began washing the batter bowl. Abby sensed that she wasn't open to further assurances, and wisely decided to back off.

"If it's any consolation," she added when Kerry had shut off the faucet, "John's agreed to us all getting together, so he can't be too hurt if he's willing to see you again."

Kerry smiled wryly. "Oh yes, the big foursome. Listen, Abby, I hope you and the others haven't been discussing it around the ER?"

"No, only in private, of course. Why?"

"Well, can you imagine the kind of gossip that would be flying around if you were overheard?" She allowed herself a short laugh. "And suppose someone like Malucci heard about it? His head would probably explode."

Abby giggled. "He'd probably want to join in! I can picture him trying to wheedle his way into things. 'Aww, c'mon, Chief, lemme come too!'"

Kerry found herself laughing harder. "If he did, what would you tell him in my place?"

"I'd tell him he can join in," Abby told her, eyes sparkling wickedly, "on the sole condition that the guys do him first. Front and rear."

Kerry threw her head back and whooped with laughter. "That'd make him think twice!" They enjoyed their mutual hilarity for a minute before settling.

Wiping tears of mirth from her eyes as she calmed down, Abby said, "It's good to hear you laughing, Kerry. I've been worried about you."

"Why is that?" Kerry sighed, feeling the ache in her cheeks from smiling so much.

"Well, you're alone so much, and you won't let anyone in. John says you've always been like this, as long as he's known you."

Kerry's smile dimmed without entirely vanishing. "He does, does he?"

"He's told me about the time he lived here, and how he had the same concerns for you, even while he was involved with that woman, Rosalind?"

"Roxanne." A twinge of resentment for the preppy blonde flared within Kerry, and she wondered why. She hadn't been a major presence in John Carter's life, except in his bed. He'd dropped her easily enough when things were over, and never looked back. But she'd been here, in Kerry's house, doing the things Kerry couldn't admit to herself that she'd wanted to do. And even then, John had been aware of her solitude. He'd paid attention, even when they only saw each other in passing, and he'd been concerned for her. The thought of him seeing her, seeing through her facades and defenses, filled Kerry with a sweet ache.

Kerry's mind snapped back to the present, and she glanced at Abby, who sat looking at her with a concern of her own. "Kerry," the nurse ventured, "forgive me for asking this, but...do you really believe you can't fall in love? Or are you really afraid that no one will return that love?"

The last of Kerry's easygoing mood evaporated, and she suddenly felt exposed. And not merely because she was underdressed.

"I'm sorry, I take back the question," Abby put in, recognizing that she'd gone a little too far.

"That's all right," Kerry was quick to add, rising. "I need to get ready for the day's shift. You can hang out if you like, read, watch television, or whatever."

"Thanks." Abby nodded, staying where she was.

Kerry hobbled out of the room, heading for her bathroom, but turned back to add, "Just please don't touch..."

"I won't touch your stereo!" Abby called from the other room.

Apparently, John had told her a lot of things.

* * *

Kerry selected her outfit for the day and laid it out on the bed, then adjourned to the shower. Hanging her robe on the door's hook, she stepped gingerly into the spray and steam, easing into the damp heat with some relish. She could feel her muscles and tendons relaxing and her pores opening. Her thoughts were reacting similarly, and the external warmth was almost overshadowed by that from within.

John had cared for her long before the possibility of sex arose between them. Before his addiction, before Valentine's Day, before his eviction, perhaps even before she admitted to him that she was adopted, maybe even before he moved in, he cared about her...

Her hands, rubbing the lather over her skin, removing the last traces of dirt and sweat from her body, roamed lower as she turned the memories over in her mind.

She'd rented her basement to several people over the years, less to supplement her finances than to have another face and voice for company, if only occasionally. But she'd never rented to anyone she knew professionally; it seemed like a conflict of interest waiting to happen. For Carter, she'd made an exception. She couldn't imagine anyone else she'd have done that for, and no one had made her as happy while sharing her house as John had...

Her palms, glding over her breasts, triggered all the right nerves, stiffening her nipples.

Pushing him away, driving him out of her house, hadn't been nearly as easy as she'd made it seem. Justifying her actions as appropriate for the new ER Chief had seemed safer than acknowledging how empty the loss of his friendship made her feel. And then, when he changed in the weeks and months following his stabbing, part of her died with him, just as Lucy had died...

Her right hand dropped to one of the safety bars attached to the walls, while the fingers of her left hand slid down between her legs, inserting themselves slickly.

Becoming lovers, she now realized, wasn't the beginning of a new relationship with John, only a new chapter of something much deeper. She'd had other lovers, some of them better than him in a physical sense, but no one who'd mattered so intently for so long. And it took some smartassed nurse and former med student to see what she couldn't.

Ripples of pleasure vibrated through her body as she stroked her inner walls in practiced patterns. Her shower had seen more solitary orgasms than her bed had seen in others' company...

A pair of hands brushed over her shoulders, and Kerry gasped, nearly falling before she caught herself. Abby's arms slid around her, one circling her rib cage while the other followed Kerry's wrist down to her sex, nimble fingers taking over where Kerry's left off. Kerry drew in a quivering breath as Abby's bare body pressed against her from behind. The feel of the other woman's skin against hers, from neck to back to buttocks to thighs to calves, was marvelous. She seized the safety bar with both hands, while Abby took over the job of lighting up her nervous system.

"We missed you last night," Abby whispered in her ear, breath tickling the wet skin of her neck.

"We...?" Kerry responded, her voice trembling as much as her body.

"I missed you," the younger woman clarified, taking Kerry's earlobe between her lips while her thumb found her clitoris.

Kerry shivered deliciously, letting her head fall back against Abby's shoulder. God, what this woman was doing to her...

"You try to be so tough and bossy," Abby cooed in her ear, "but you can't fool me, Kerry. I know how sweet you are. In more ways than one..."

She was wetter on the inside than the outside, and her climax threatened to make her legs give out, but there was no denying its imminence. It grew, expanding like a balloon inflated to capacity and beyond, and then burst, wrenching a cry of delight out of her that echoed off the tile surfaces, rebounding back at her in sync with the blissful impulses reaching out from her center to her fingers and toes. She might have fallen, unable to keep her balance, if not for Abby's support. The nurse held her up with the practiced leverage and balance that comes from regularly assisting injured and infirm patients.

When her head stopped spinning and she could stand unaided again, Kerry turned, putting her back against the wall. The hot water was running out, and she reached for the knob and shut it off. "God..." she whispered in the suddenly quiet shower.

Abby, who had released her enough to turn, closed the short distance again, fitting her nude body to Kerry's front this time. She took the ER Chief in her arms again, lips nuzzling at the hinge of her jaw. "I knew you'd like that."

"Is that why you really came here?" Kerry asked her, slipping her own arms around Abby's shoulders.

"Yeah, I think it is," she replied between soft kisses. Then she stepped back, taking Kerry's wrists in her hands and pulling her gently away from the wall. There was an unmistakable gleam in her eye, and Kerry knew that she wasn't satisfied to let things end there.

"I thought we had a bet to settle first," she said as Abby's arms slid around her glistening wet body again. Water beaded on both their shoulders and arms, and steam rose from their bodies as it evaporated in the cooling air. The heat where their skin met was intense.

"Forget the bet for now," Abby instructed her, one hand smoothing back wet, red hair, outlining the shape of her skull. "Let me make love to you, Kerry."

Their lips met, and for a few moments, all thought of John Carter and other lovers, past and present, left them both. The kiss was deep and rich, in the way that only two people who truly understand each other can achieve.

Kerry let the kiss linger, Abby's tongue slipping very slowly out of her mouth, tantalizing her further. "I shouldn't," she said without conviction. "I've got work to catch up on before my shift..."

"It can wait," Abby urged her, one hand coming up to Kerry's breast where it met Abby's. "I'll let you tie me up this time," she added with a teasing smile.

That was intriguing. "Well..."

"And you can call me 'John' if you want to. I won't mind." Abby's grin widened before she busied her lips with the sensitive skin at the base of Kerry's throat.

Two separate and opposite reactions went off within Kerry. Her body's desire to intermingle with Abby's was tempered, then matched, and finally overwhelmed by the anger and hurt at the other woman's words. "You know," she said with effort, "I'm starting to worry about you, too."

"Oh yeah? Why's that?" Abby's hands slid down her back to cup her buttocks.

"I think you may have another form of addiction."

The change in Abby's attitude couldn't have come more sharply if she'd turned on the cold water. "Wh-what...?"

"Abby, look what you're doing," Kerry told her, finding her inner poise. "You just spent the night with two very satisfying lovers, and the first thing you're doing is looking for another. Some people might call that sexual addiction. You're an alcoholic, right?"

Abby pulled away from her, arms crossing over her chest as she leaned against the opposite wall. "Yeah. So?"

Kerry didn't bother to cover herself. "So, isn't there often a danger among addicts of transferring from one kind of behavior to another? You're so insistent lately on bringing us all together, and I'm starting to be concerned that..."

There was a short, harsh laugh as Abby looked away. "I can't believe you'd say that to me, Kerry! If you don't want to go to bed with me, all you have to do it say so, but to accuse me of being a nymphomaniac..." She shook her head scornfully, drops of water falling from the ends of her hair, and she turned and stepped out of the shower, grabbing the first towel she laid hands on.

Kerry followed her out carefully, stepping onto the nonskid bath mat and shivering in the cooler air. "I'm not accusing you of anything, Abby, I just thing you should ask yourself why you're so adamant about having sex with three different people, and then with pushing me and John together. I thought you loved Luka, but if he's not enough for you..."

"Hey, you leave him out of this!" Abby snapped, angrily toweling her hair off. "I do love Luka, not that it's any of your business. I don't have to prove that to you, or to anyone."

Wrapping a towel around her body, securing it under her arms, Kerry quietly asked, "Then why did you sleep with John last night?"

"Because I love him, too!" the younger woman shot back. "I'm not in love with him the way I am with Luka, but I do love him."

"I see," Kerry said, her tone measured.

"Are you jealous, is that it?" Abby tossed her towel in a corner and began dressing from where her clothes were folded on the countertop. "That I was with them both while you were alone? Well, you've had your chances, Kerry, and thrown them away. And you'll get more, when we all get together. But don't try to blame me just because you're afraid of being happy!"

"Is that what you think?" Kerry's tone was turning frosty.

Abby dressed in furious silence, laced her sneakers, and then stood upright to face Kerry. "You want to hear something funny, Kerry? I love you, too. Don't ask me why, 'cause right now I'm not too sure, but I do."

"Gee, thanks," she replied with sardonic calm.

"Yeah, that's right, I love three different people in three different ways. And I may be a drunk with a failed marriage and a dead-end job, but at least I can admit I love someone, you tight-assed...!"

Kerry was utterly still, staring at her. Go on, her expression said. Say it.

Abby turned and fled, slamming the front door behind her.

* * *

Muttering all sorts of imprecations about Kerry Weaver as she went, Abby strode furiously down the street. Her hands and mouth, occupied only minutes earlier with soft flesh, were suddenly craving a different, altogether less healthy, kind of pleasure. Spotting the first little mom-and-pop store she came to, she ducked inside and asked for a pack of cigarettes, any kind.

While the elderly proprietor was turned away, fetching them, Abby found her eyes wandering to the bottles of liquor on the wall behind the register. She knew what each of them would taste like, how each brand would feel going down her throat. And some small part of her, rapidly growing larger, yearned to feel it again.

Snatching the cigarettes and a cheap lighter, she tossed a few bills on the countertop and left without waiting for her change.

The first cigarette was sucked down in record time, but she took her time with the second, trying to ignore the trembling of her hands.

Pausing at a traffic light flashing the 'Don't Walk' symbol, she caught a glimpse of her face reflected in a car's window. There was something familiar about her own sullen expression that disturbed her greatly...

* * *

The pleasurable afterglow of Kerry's climax was already a distant memory as she finished dressing, replaced by a bitter hurt at Abby's words. She checked herself one last time in the mirror, confirming that her clothes, makeup and jewelry all looked appropriate for an administrative professional. If the eyes seemed a little more empty than usual, that was too bad.

How much of what the nurse had said was true? Had she lost John because she was afraid? And, if so, was the same true of Kim? And Ellis? And...Michael?

No, she corrected herself sharply. She wasn't to blame for the failure of her marriage. She'd had to fight her tendency to blame herself for their problems, reminding herself of all the things he'd done to her...

Furiously shaking off the whole train of thought, Kerry gathered her coat, car keys and purse, and prepared to venture out for work. But when she opened the door...Abby was again standing on her front steps, hands in her pockets.

Looking up at her, the nurse ventured a little smile. "It's déjà vu all over again, huh?"

Kerry said nothing, but simply waited.

"Can I come in?" Abby's voice was much softer than before.

Stepping aside wordlessly, Kerry allowed her inside, then closed the door. "Did you forget something?" she asked as levelly as she could.

"Yeah...I forgot how much like my mother I can get when I'm upset," Abby said without looking at her. "I'm really sorry, Kerry."

Feeling the tension lessen slightly, Kerry said, "All right. I'm sorry, too."

Abby made herself look at Kerry. "I'm not a sex addict, Kerry. I think you were wrong about me that way, but I shouldn't have overreacted like that."

"Yes, well, perhaps that was an overreaction on my part, too," Kerry interjected. "You've been making assumptions about me and how I feel about John, and I didn't like that. Maybe I was too quick to do the same."

"This really bothers me," Abby said. "Friends should be able to talk to each other without making each other blow up. And I really like having you as a friend, Kerry. As good as sex is with you, I don't want it to get in the way of us being able to talk."

"I feel the same, Abby." Kerry felt herself softening all over as they slowly put it behind them. "Are we all right?"

A smile appeared on Abby's face. "Yeah, we are."

Kerry put out her arms first this time, and Abby stepped into her hug. They held it for a few moments, then pulled apart without entirely letting go of each other.

"Of course," Abby added, the trace of a wicked smile reappearing, "as long as friendship comes first...there's no reason we couldn't still have sex once in a while, is there?"

Kerry allowed her own smile to grow in return. Rather than respond verbally, she leaned forward and kissed Abby's mouth.

Almost immediately, however, she recoiled. "Eww! What...?"

"Oh, sorry," Abby said, stepping away self-consciously. "I smoke when I'm upset."

"Well, we can only have sex if you cut that out," Kerry told her, her stern voice tinged with humor.

They laughed, letting go of the whole argument. Kerry offered Abby a ride into work, which she accepted easily, and they didn't discuss things further on the way.

But each, in their silence, was aware of the same thing. Kerry had said some things about Abby that she didn't like hearing, and vice versa. But neither one could entirely convince herself that the other was wrong...

John lay on his back, his eyes focused on the paint swirls of Abby's ceiling while his body responded on its own to what Luka's mouth was doing to him. For some reason, John just couldn't get his body and mind in sync this morning. He had been awakened by Abby's goodbye kiss as she left for work, and even as Abby was leaving the bedroom, John had felt Luka's arms encircle his body, pulling him near.

"I don't have to be in until six, how about you?" Luka asked as he began to nuzzle John's neck.

"I think you know we're on the same schedule, Luka," John had replied as he turned his head for a good morning kiss. A kiss that left him feeling more cold than hot. And John had no idea why that was. The night before, both in the old theater and then after they returned to the apartment, the sex had been hot and passionate. But not this morning.

Something had changed overnight, John thought, and he struggled to decipher just what had changed. But nothing came to mind. There had been no cross words or innuendoes, no misdeeds or fumblings. The sex had been incredible. The one thing it had not been, at least for John, was fulfilling. It had not been the way it had been the first time he had been with Luka, or the first time he had been with Luka and Abby together.

Maybe it wasn't that something had changed, but rather that *someone* had. Even as his body shook from the tremors of his orgasm, John still didn't feel quite 'connected' to Luka the way he had before. Only his body was involved in what Luka was doing and not his heart and mind. John hated feeling that way, hated the idea of shortchanging Luka on something so important as making love. And then John's breath was taken away as he realized the truth -- there was no lovemaking happening here. It was sex, and only sex. Luka cared about him as a friend and that was it. There was no love. And John didn't love Luka in that way, either.

He loved Kerry. And Kerry didn't love him. She only wanted sex, something that he couldn't and wouldn't settle for with her. John wanted to make love to Kerry again, watch the stars burst in her eyes as he made her come over and over again. Listen to the staccato beating of her heart as her orgasm raced through her body, leaving her breathless and like jelly under his hands. He wanted Kerry to see, hear and feel those same things as he came for her.

But that wasn't going to happen.

And this, being here with Luka and Abby, well, it was just wrong. With no love, it was wrong. If he wouldn't settle for it from Kerry, then why was he settling for it from them? Yet, they had been so kind and considerate with him. They had saved him the other night, kept him from backsliding in a big way. How could he tell them 'no' now? Abby was practically giddy over her plans for the four of them to get together, John could easily wait until that had happened before he told them that he couldn't do this any more. That he didn't want to have meaningless sex.

"Hey? Are you here?" Luka's soft voice broke into John's thoughts. Luka was now beside him on the bed, one hand tenderly resting on John's stomach.

"Sorry. I got a little lost." He automatically reached out and stroked Luka's erection. "So, you ready to do something about this?"

Luka grinned. "More than ready. Are you ready for me?"

John nodded, then he rolled over to his stomach and spread his legs to give Luka room. He knew that this wasn't Luka's favorite position for sex. Luka preferred for them to be able to look each other in the eyes. But John didn't want Luka to be looking down into a face devoid of emotion, so this was best. John raised up on his hands and knees, bracing himself for the jolt of the cold gel while mentally readying himself to go through the motions.

**************************

Some days, Abby thought, all you do is go through the motions.

It was exactly that kind of day today: lots of work, but nothing to write home about. No major traumas, no particularly memorable or exciting events, but lots of little stuff that kept you busy. Haleh had assigned her to take inventory today, one of those jobs that no one wanted to do, but it had to be done. And Abby, being the new nurse, and therefore lowest on the totem pole, got picked.

For a while, she'd been concerned that Haleh had something against her, since she always seemed to be surly and brusque whenever she spoke to Abby. Particularly since the abrupt truncation of her med student days and her return to full-time nursing. However, Chuny had confided in her that Haleh was extra tough on everyone lately, as part of her adjustment to doing Carol Hathaway's old job. So Abby tried not to take it too personally. It helped that, a few days before the basement incident, Haleh had brought some pictures of her son's latest school play to show the other nurses, and she'd passed them around to Abby same as everyone else. Yosh and Lydia and Lily made the usual oohs and ahhs that were expected, but Abby just enjoyed feeling like one of the gang for once.

A couple of patients with multiple compound fractures came in, requiring Abby's attention along with Malucci's and Chen's, but it was more a source of ridicule than tragedy; two guys were out drinking and discussing the possibility of going skydiving on their next vacation. One man, trying to describe the correct way to roll with the landing, had jumped off a balcony, thus breaking both legs. The second guy, equally drunk, had criticized his technique and tried to demonstrate the right form...and there went two more legs. Apparently, those who didn't learn from the mistakes of idiocy were condemned to repeat them. Thank God she didn't drink anymore.

Aside from this bit of nonsense, the day went by unremarkably. Around noon, Abby caught a bite to eat in the cafeteria, and then, having a few minutes left over, decided to call Luka...

**************************

"Mmlph?" Luka forced down a mouthful of chicken and tried again. "Hello?"

"Are you eating something?" came Abby's voice.

"Yes, just some leftovers," he replied, pleased as always to hear his favorite voice. "How are you doing?"

"Ohh, just don't ask. One of those days when there's so many little things to make you mad, and you know that none of them are really worth getting mad about, which just makes you madder..."

"In other words, the usual."

"Right." He could hear her smile tiredly through the phone. Don't ask how, he just knew she was smiling. He always could. "Is John still there with you?"

"No, he went home to change. Why, did you want to talk to him?"

"No, just curious how he was feeling about things."

Luka said that John had seemed fine, and they hung up shortly after, but in his own mind, he was less than certain. Sex with him that morning hadn't been entirely what Luka expected. John hadn't refused to do anything, but...it was like he wasn't really into it as much as before. Like he was doing things that were expected of him, rather than things he wanted to do. That had concerned Luka; he obviously didn't want to force himself on anyone. But when he'd asked John if anything was wrong, the younger man had just said no, everything was fine, he was just tired or something. Luka could understand that, given how active the three of them had been last night. But he also sensed there was more to it than that. But what?

Maybe it had something to do with the literature John had been reading when Luka came out of the shower. He'd found John sitting at the breakfast table - right where Kerry Weaver had sat the night after they made love to her - reading the written works those people at the church meeting had passed out to them as they left. Luka had just pocketed his without paying much attention to them at the time, more intent on continuing things with John and Abby once they got home, but John seemed to be intrigued by what he was reading. Although Luka hadn't had much use for religion in several years, his recent friendship with the Bishop had made him acknowledge the need for faith in one form or another. And he knew that the support groups Abby and John belonged to made references to God and prayer at times. Regardless of particular religious beliefs, Luka could see how, as a source of comfort and guidance, it could be of use in anyone's life.

Looking around for his coat, and the literature stuffed into its pocket, Luka thought maybe he'd take a look at it himself and see what had the young resident so thoughtful...

************************

It was midmorning before Abby found herself alone in a room with Kerry. They were both in the drug lock-up, and Abby made sure no one was near.

"I need you to keep next Friday night open," she said as she checked off another box on her inventory sheet.

Kerry's eyebrows raised. "Oh? And what would this be for?"

"How quickly we forget." Abby grinned. "John said 'yes', so the four of us can get together then. If I remember the schedule correctly, Mark is the Attending set to work that evening. And John is off that whole day. So, that just leaves you to make sure that you're not working that night."

"Oh...right." Kerry had been so sure that John would turn down Abby's offer of a foursome and now she found herself faced with the reality of it. She wasn't sure what to feel. It would be wonderful to be with John once again, but after the way he had been so adamant about not wanting sex without love, how would he react?

"It'll be at my place, eight o'clock. And you don't need to bring anything except yourself, okay?" Abby said.

Kerry nodded and excused herself, still not trusting herself to say too much. She had a little over a week to get herself mentally and emotionally prepared to see John again. Would it be enough time?

The rest of the day she had the strangest feeling that people were stealing glances at her whenever she walked through the ER. Nothing she could be certain of, just that tingling feeling on the back of her neck, or the way people seemed quick to turn away from her just as she met their gaze. Like they'd been staring at her moments before.

Did they know? Had Abby or Luka let something slip? Or John?

After the fourth time it happened, she turned to the small group gathered at the admit desk and snapped, "All right, what is it?"

They presented her with looks of fake innocence. "Uhh, what's what?" Malik asked in response.

"I ask a question and I get a question in return. Who are you, Socrates?" Kerry glared at them, all looking guiltily back at her. Except Randi, who ignored the whole thing, reading her magazine and chewing her gum. "What's going on?"

There was some hemming and hawing and shuffling of feet.

Singling out the one person she felt was most likely to be up to no good - as well as the one person who could never entirely escape her wrath - she growled, "Malucci...?"

Sure enough, he caved in. "Okay, don't get mad, Chief, but we were just saying... Well, there's this woman on that new game show who looks just like..."

"Don't do it, man," Malik muttered under his breath. "Don't be a hero."

"Okay, here, I'll prove it." Dave grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil and quickly scribbled a few words on it, then handed it to Kerry. "Just do me a favor? Say this one time, Chief."

Kerry glanced at the words he'd written, and exhaled in a mixture of relief and disgust. Relief that it had nothing to do with her upcoming four-way date, and disgust because these people had nothing better to do. "Grow up, willya, Dave?" She crumpled the paper and tossed it in the trash. "Okay, back to work, everybody. And Malik, stop encouraging him!"

"Hey, I had nothing to do with it...!" the nurse protested as he went on his way.

When everyone had departed, Randi fished the paper out of the trash and unfolded it curiously. " 'You are the weakest link, goodbye'?" she read aloud, scowling. "What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

******************************

Days passed, as days do. Although they saw a good deal of each other in the course of their working shifts, all four people had little interaction on a personal level. It was as if each one were keeping his or her distance from the others, holding back in anticipation of the final togetherness that lay in store. The calm, as it were, before the storm.

John Carter spent most of his free time at his grandmother's house, either with her or on his own. He seemed motivated when working, but otherwise quiet and subdued - neither cheerful nor depressed, but merely thoughtful. Almost contemplative. He took drug tests as required, without complaint, and passed each one. Mark spoke briefly with him on a couple of occasions, telling him how pleased everyone was with his progress and assuring him that the hospital management's confidence in him was high. Kerry was apparently unavailable to join them for those meetings.

Abby Lockhart went to meetings, but her schedule and John's differed enough that they were unable to go together. She saw him in passing, exchanging only a few words of general pleasantry, just enough to assure herself that he seemed well. She debated about whether to prepare a real meal for everyone that night, or maybe just coffee and snacks. She wasn't used to playing hostess for any real gatherings of people, but felt a certain pride in having been the one who initiated this gathering of her closest friends and lovers.

Luka Kovac got stuck with the night shifts for a few days, so he and Abby saw little of each other - it was the price he paid for arranging a day off at the same time as three particular other staff members. It wasn't the lack of sex during these days that bothered him, as he'd gone several years in celibacy following his wife's death, and he knew it would only be a few days before he had a chance to enjoy three different people at once. What concerned him was the emotional distance that had suddenly developed between John and himself, even in their few private moments together at work. The church literature didn't enlighten him much - he'd tried to read it, but couldn't really get into it, and ended up skimming it without much sense of its importance. He could only hope that John's general withdrawal was only temporary. For his own sake more than anyone else's.

Kerry Weaver became more brusque and businesslike than usual, more so with each day that brought her closer to the gathering. But on the inside, she felt more and more anxious with each passing hour. Less like an experienced, well-traveled medical expert than a young girl looking forward to a school dance with her big crush. Sex with either Luka Kovac or Abby Lockhart would be worth looking forward to, let alone both together. But the prospect of once again making love with John Carter... that thought alone filled her with a unique and lovely glow.

The only question was whether he would feel the same way after their parting. Could he get past the fact that she didn't love him? Or would he foolishly subscribe to Abby's insistent notion that she did? Was that why he had agreed to the foursome, because she'd convinced him that Kerry had lied to him about her lack of love?

Had she?

Following the loss of an elderly patient whose heart had finally given up the ghost, Kerry watched from a distance as a man in his forties held a woman of similar age, perhaps a wife or sister, as she cried. It sent Kerry into a memory that she secretly treasured, but rarely allowed herself to indulge in - a night when John had come home to find her crying in the living room. It was shortly after he'd first moved into the basement, and the strangeness of living with someone from work still hovered between them. She couldn't recall what had prompted the crying jag - maybe job stress, maybe loneliness, who could remember? But he'd caught her with her guard down, and she couldn't hide her tears. Instead of asking questions or excusing himself awkwardly, he did exactly the right thing and just held her without a word, letting her cry it out. When she was finished, she'd just whispered, "Thanks," and went to bed, and they'd never spoken of it again.

That, more than anything, was what Kerry missed about John. The simple, undemanding love he'd shown her. Sexual partners might come and go, but it was that sort of connection that made her...made her...

She couldn't say it. Not even silently, to herself. Michael had really done a number on her, sabotaging her relationships even now.

But even if she couldn't say it, or even think it, she knew. Now, at last, she knew.

"Dr. Weaver?"

If anyone else had interrupted her musings, she might have jumped, startled. But his voice blended seamlessly into her thoughts. "Carter. Hi, what do you need?"

"I got Mrs. Lansing admitted to Neuro," John said, his face tired without being really weary or run-down. "But they said they needed your authorization for it. Something about her coverage?"

"Okay, I'll talk to them." She smiled. "That was a good call on her case, John. A lot of people would have missed that."

"Thank you." He returned her smile, meeting her eyes directly for what felt like the first time in weeks. The way they'd met their first night together. There was a long, pregnant pause...

Carter's pager went off, breaking the mood. He checked it and sighed. "Ahh, it's that abdominal case. I told them to page me when his labs were back."

"Well, you'd probably better get to it, then," she said easily. "And I should get back to my files..."

"Okay." He paused before turning to leave, looking at her once more, and she saw something in his eyes. "Thanks, Kerry," he said, and left.

He'd reached a decision. She could see that, and even without knowing what it was, she felt happy for him. The same kind of happiness she'd felt when Peter Benton called, saying John had checked into Atlanta, but without the crushing despair that accompanies such sad circumstances. All she felt now was a sudden sense that John would be all right now that he'd made his choice.

In that instant, she knew she'd made her own choice, too.

************************

Tonight was the night.

After much consideration and considerable waffling, Abby had elected to forego a big dinner or whatever and just have food on hand in case anyone got hungry as things went on. Some cold cuts and such, maybe. Then there'd been her inner debate about music - should she put some on the stereo, or would that be too hokey? And if she did, what to put on? Light jazz, symphony, easy listening or new age? She finally solved the problem by stacking a selection of tapes by the stereo and deciding she'd ask Kerry to choose something when she arrived. Having seen from her evening at Kerry's house that she had a CD collection to die for, Abby guessed she'd have the best judgment in musical tastes of the four of them.

Strangely, dithering over these kinds of details was a source of fun for Abby, rather than stress or tension. It was all coming together at last, just like she'd planned. All four of them at once. Two men, two women, one room, no rules. That's entertainment.

She was still smiling to herself, alternately giggling and humming when she heard the knocking at her apartment door.

Abby was surprised to open the door and see John standing there. He and Kerry weren't supposed to be there for another two hours yet. "John, hi, come on in. You're a bit early."

John entered the apartment, then took a deep breath. "I came by to explain to you why I won't be here tonight. Or any other night, Abby."

"You won't...?" Abby blinked several times as John's words sunk in. Then she shook her head. "What's wrong? Has something happened?"

John nodded. "Yeah, something's happened. Can we sit down?"

"Sure." Abby closed the door, then joined John on the couch. He had taken off his coat and was trying his best to look relaxed, but she could tell he was nervous. "Do you want something to drink? Soda? Water? Coffee?"

"No, thank you. I'm fine. Abby...I've been doing a lot of thinking since the other night when we had sex after the AA meeting. It was impulsive of me to agree to the foursome. I was overcome by the idea of being here with Kerry and you and Luka, but it's not right. Remember the literature they gave us that night? The biography of St. Augustine?"

"Vaguely. I threw my copy out, but Luka was reading his, I think." A wave of impatience and irritation flashed through her as this unexpected development, but she forced it down. "What does that have to do with tonight? Are you suddenly becoming religious on me, John?"

"Not really. I mean, I believe in God and all that, but this isn't about sin, Abby. It's about love. True love. You see, even though St. Augustine did everything his mother wanted, lived his life for her, he still had a true love. He had an affair that last nearly 15 years, Abby. He kept a mistress by his side, even while he was writing and growing strong. But he never managed to do what his mother wanted him most to do -- and that was to devote his entire life to the church. And that was because he had this true love with him, a woman who was the mother of his child. So finally it came down to getting married, a compromise his mother endorsed. But the woman left. We don't know why -- the biographer doesn't know why. History didn't even bother to record her name, as if she never mattered. But she did matter, Abby. She mattered a lot. She left St. Augustine and her son and went back home. And once true love was out of his life, St. Augustine had nothing there to distract him. He was able to give his full attention to God and the church. There was no casual sex for him, no parties, no orgies. Nothing like that. No seeking out a woman to take her place. Once his true love was gone, that was it for him."

Abby pursed her lips as she listened to John, trying to quell her disappointment and read between the lines of what he was saying. "So, you're telling me that you've decided to devote your entire life to medicine now?"

John shook his head. "No. I guess I'm not telling this very well. What I'm trying to say, Abby, is that sex without love is meaningless to me. I mean, I care about you and Luka. You've been great friends to me and I love you like friends. But that's as far as it goes. I don't feel about you the way I feel about Kerry. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. And she doesn't feel that way about me. For me to come here tonight, knowing she feels that way...well, it would be empty for me, Abby. And I'm so damn tired of feeling empty. For a while there, I didn't feel empty with Kerry. I guess that the imagination can overcome a lot, because I really believed that she cared for me. That she loved me the same way I love her. I was obviously wrong."

John took another deep breath. "I don't want sex, Abby. I want to make love. And I can't do that unless Kerry is making love to me." He shook his head, smiling. "The sex with you and Luka is great, but it's not enough. And I don't want to waste my life away by accepting things that aren't enough. If I can't have true love, then I don't want any of it. Now, I don't know if that means I'll end up celibate my whole life. Probably not." He laughed at that idea. "But it does mean that I will not have casual sex. The next time I have sex, it will be so much more than sex, Abby. I want to make love to a person I love. I want to feel the love emanating from that person. I don't know if that will happen with a woman or a man. Being with Luka has opened up new avenues for me, that's for sure. But, I do know that it will be a while before I'm ready to go out looking. I'm going to take my time, let my spirit heal a bit before I go looking for a person, be it man or woman, to take the place of Kerry in my heart."

John got to his feet and grabbed his coat. "I'm sorry if this ruins your plans, Abby. But there's just no way that I can be here tonight."

Abby nodded mutely, then got to her feet to walk him to the door. "I'll try to explain that to Kerry and Luka." Kerry was still at work, and Abby had dispatched Luka to pick up a deli spread for their gathering, so she had a while to figure out a way to tell them both what John had told her.

At the door, Abby reached up and gently touched John's cheek. "Are you sure you're okay with this? We don't want you to be alone." Please change your mind, she thought silently. Don't walk away now, when we're so close...

John clasped Abby's hand, holding it next to his cheek for a bit and then kissing it before letting go. "I'm not alone, Abby. I have friends who care, and that means a lot to me. I'll be fine. I really will be. I will always treasure my memories of being with you and Luka, but I don't want to make new ones. Please don't take that as a rejection of you two, because it's not. It's just that I'm looking for so much more, and neither one of you can give me what I need, what I want, right now." John leaned down and tenderly kissed Abby on the mouth. "I'll see you around, right?"

Abby nodded, trying to put a brave face on it. "Of course. The only thing that's changed between us is that there'll be no more sex, right?" She asked, hopeful that their friendship would continue. However John's choice might affect her personal plans, she knew that there was no question of arguing with him. She had to support him, as a sponsor or as a friend.

"You bet." John smiled, then turned and walked toward the elevator, not daring to look back at Abby. He really did feel at peace with his decision. If there was no love, then there was no reason for the sex. It was a simple decision and one he should have made a long time ago, although when he was honest with himself he couldn't deny that he had enjoyed the sex. But it had been the feelings of friendship that had made the sex so special.

Now, if only he could find a woman who would love him in the same way he loved her, then he would be truly happy. At one time he had thought that woman was Kerry Weaver, but he had been wrong. So, he would take the time to let his emotional wounds heal and then he would be ready to find that love. He deserved it.

Luka turned the corner, slowing to allow an elderly couple to cross the street, then eased the car to the curb in the first space he saw. Parking on Abby's block was often scarce, so he was lucky to find a place so close to her doorway. He didn't mind walking, normally, but right now he had an armful of food to carry.

Lifting the deli platter carefully out of the back seat, he caught a glimpse of a familiar figure. Kerry was walking toward Abby's building from the direction of the nearest El station, looking as nervous as a bride on her way to the altar. A sudden wave of affection ran through him at the sight of her; Luka didn't know if he and Kerry would ever really be friends, but they were here for a common purpose, one that he looked forward to immensely.

He called her name, and she looked around and spotted him by his car. Returning his wave like an old friend, she let him catch up to her before entering the building. "You ready for this?" she asked him with a smile.

"Are you kidding?" Luka cheerfully replied, arms laden with the domed plastic tray. "After three days in a row of working nights and sleeping alone, I am more than ready!"

She laughed along with him as they got onto the elevator.

"How about you?" he asked.

"I'm...I'm nervous, but in a good way," she admitted. "I can't believe I'm doing this. This is so not like me..."

The tall man shifted his grip on the deli platter, freeing an arm and putting it around her shoulders. "Relax, we'll have a great time," he assured her. "And this time, I promise, no blindfolds."

Kerry glanced up at him, sidelong. "Don't be too sure of that, mister," she replied in a sort of Clint Eastwood semi-whisper. She ran her free hand flirtatiously up his leg, giving him a squeeze where he was hardest and nearly making him drop the tray. Memories of that one incredible fuck they'd shared were vivid in his mind, and he bet the same was true in hers. He made a mental note: be sure to work in a repeat performance at some point tonight. It was only by sheer will that he avoided spilling cold cuts all over the elevator floor.

She laughed, well aware of the effect she was having on him, and the elevator doors opened. They continued bantering lightly as they walked down the hall to Abby's door. Luka complained that he couldn't reach the key in his pants pocket, and Kerry offered to fish it out for him, making him laugh. They both felt like young kids on their way to the prom.

Abby opened the door before the key issue could be resolved, as if she'd been waiting for them right by the door; Luka knew she was excited about tonight, too. But the expression on her face wasn't what he'd expected.

"Hi, Kerry," she said. "Come in."

"Thank you. Hi, Abby." Kerry entered the apartment with a smile, capturing Abby in a one-armed hug in the process and planting a cheerful kiss on her cheek. "I hope you haven't been waiting on me. I hate being the last one to arrive for something."

"Kerry..."

"Are you sure I shouldn't have brought anything?" Kerry chattered on cheerfully, missing Abby's somber tone. "I didn't want to bring a bottle of wine, of course, but I could have brought some sparkling cider, or something like that."

"Don't worry, we've got plenty of soft drinks," Luka told her as he set the food on the table in the kitchen. "Abby, should I leave this out or put it in the refrigerator for a while?"

"Ummm, leave it out for now. Luka, come here a second, I need to talk to you both." Something in Abby's voice caught Luka's attention, and it didn't sound good.

Kerry still wore her coat, unbuttoned, and she seemed to be hovering, as if unsure whether to sit down or help with the food, or what. It was a state of nervous indecision that Luka had never seen in the focused, determined ER Chief before, and he realized how much the thought of their gathering tonight was thrilling her. The giddy smile on her face hadn't entirely gone away since he had laid eyes on her outside. "Is John here, or are we still waiting for him?" she asked.

Abby didn't reply, allowing a moment of silence to dampen some of the excitement from the atmosphere. "Kerry," she said softly, "come here."

The smile faded somewhat as the older woman focused on Abby. Luka joined them and they all sat on Abby's sofa. "What's wrong?" he asked softly.

"Well, nothing's wrong, exactly," Abby replied. "But I talked to John while you were out. He won't be joining us tonight."

Kerry was sitting between Abby and Luka, facing her, so he couldn't see her face clearly, but he could still sense the disappointment in her body language. It was mirrored by his own. "What do...?" Kerry cleared her throat. "Did he say why not?"

"Is he all right?" Luka added, then mentally kicked himself for the stupid question. Abby had just said nothing was wrong. There were plenty of possible reasons why John couldn't be with them. He'd been paged to the hospital. His jeep had broken down. His grandmother had taken ill, or his cousin.

"Yeah, he was here earlier, to tell me he wouldn't be with us tonight. He sends his apologies, but he felt it was best if he didn't have sex with us."

"I don't understand," Luka said. "I thought he was looking forward to this."

Abby nodded. "I don't know if I can explain it as well as he did," she said, "but he's made a decision to...well, to explore abstinence for a while."

Kerry said nothing.

"You remember the stuff they passed out at the church meeting?"

Luka nodded, recalling a little of what he'd read.

"Well, it apparently made quite an impression on John. He explained it all to me, but the gist of it is that he doesn't want to have sex with anyone anymore unless it's someone he's in love with."

The tremor that ran through Kerry's body was so small as to be almost unnoticeable, but Luka was well aware of it anyway. He could almost hear her accompanying thought: So he's not in love with me.

Abby's eyes flicked to Kerry, as if she'd felt it too. "I know this is disappointing to all of us," she said carefully, "but I think we have to respect his choice and support it. If this is what he feels is best for him, then..."

Kerry stood up suddenly, as if proximity to other people had become too dangerous. She moved a few paces away, back to the sofa, and it wasn't hard to tell she was struggling to hold in her feelings.

"You're right, Abby," Luka said, though he was actually directing his words to Kerry. "If that's how he feels, then we should leave him alone."

"Yes, of course you're right," Kerry said tightly, without turning to look at them.

Abby regarded her carefully. "Kerry, this is good news," she said, unconvincingly. "It means he's turned a corner. He's made a voluntary choice to forego immediate gratification for the sake of his long-term well being. That's an important step in any recovery."

Kerry nodded, but her shoulders shook briefly.

Luka was caught between impulses. He wanted to comfort Kerry and add his assurances to Abby's, but at the same time, he wanted to express the same anger and hurt that she was obviously repressing. It was purely selfish on his part, he knew, but he'd wanted to feel John's body against his again, even if only once more. If their sexual relationship was meant to end, he could accept that, but to have it cut off like this, without warning...

You have to let him go, he told himself. Just like you had to let Carol go.

All three were silent in their own contemplation for a long minute.

Kerry sniffled once and turned back to the seated pair, forcing a smile. "Okay, well that's that, then. You're right, Abby, this is good news, and we're acting like it's a funeral. I'm happy for John, really."

Abby stood up. "Well, we've got plenty to eat," she said, trying a little too obviously to change the subject. "Who's hungry?"

"I am," Luka chimed in, even though he had no appetite anymore. It seemed important to try to cheer everyone up.

"Kerry?"

She shook her head. "No, thanks," she replied. "It looked fine, but I'm not in much of a party mood. I'm sorry, maybe I should leave..."

"No, please don't," Abby said hurriedly. She put an arm around Kerry's shoulders. "Come on, Kerry, I know it's a letdown, but you shouldn't be alone right now."

Kerry shook her head in annoyance. "I'm fine, Abby. Despite what you may think, I'm not in need of anyone's pity. Yes, I wanted to sleep with John, but if that's not going to happen, then that's too bad. I don't need your sympathy."

Abby's tone cooled, but she didn't retreat. "Well, maybe we need yours."

The other woman glanced at her in surprise, looking contrite.

Luka moved over to where they stood and stroked Kerry's back. "You know, we didn't arrange this get-together just because of John," he said easily. "We both wanted to be with you again, too."

"We'd really like it if you stayed," Abby added.

Her words seemed to touch something in Kerry, as though they reminded her of some other occasion. She put one hand on Luka's chest, the other on Abby's, taking a fistful of each one's shirt as though trying simultaneously to pull them close and push them away. "Okay," she said at last.

Luka let out a faint sigh, relieved not to lose this connection on top of John's. "Okay," he repeated.

Abby smiled. "You know, we can all just talk if you want. We don't have to have sex."

Kerry looked at each one, then said, "The hell we don't. It was standing room only on the El coming here. I'd hate to put up with that and not at least get laid for my troubles."

The humor was obviously forced, but they all chuckled at it anyway.

Without further ceremony, Kerry took Abby's hand and turned toward their bedroom. "Come on," she said, inviting no debate. Abby slipped her arm around Luka's waist and dragged him along as well; he offered no resistance. The subject of food was forgotten.

Kerry marched into the bedroom with the same determination with which she entered a trauma room. Releasing Abby's hand and turning to regard her hosts, she looked at each of them in turn, then at the bed, her brow knit with concentration as though she were mentally choreographing the upcoming action.

"Okay," she said at last in her 'command decision' tone. "Luka, get undressed. Lie there." She pointed to one side of the bed.

Although he'd often rankled at being bossed around by Kerry Weaver at work, this was a different context entirely. Besides, he and Abby had had their way with her the last time she was in this room, so she deserved to call the shots this time around. He removed his coat, shirt, and tie, dropping them carelessly to the floor, then began unbuckling his belt.

"You too," Kerry said to Abby, pointing. "Next to him." Her voice was crisp and clinical.

Abby raised her eyebrows at Kerry's attitude of dominance, but slipped off her top obediently. Maybe she was recalling the way Kerry had taken charge the first time she slept with Abby. Her bra floated to the floor as she unbuttoned her jeans.

Luka sat, naked, on the bottom edge of the bed where Kerry had directed, joined moments later by Abby beside him. Kerry remained fully dressed, overcoat and all, and yet it lent her a strangely erotic quality that complimented his nudity and Abby's.

Setting her crutch aside, Kerry knelt carefully on the bed between them, one hand resting easily on each one's shoulder. Pressing gently but firmly, she made them both lie back on the bed. With her face still a mask of professional composure, Kerry ran the fingertips of one hand lightly over Luka's features, the other hand doing the same to Abby's.

Fingers that were both soft and strong traced the planes, angles, and curves of his face, drawing a tactile picture. From the corner of his eye, Luka could see Abby's lips part under Kerry's other hand. Her eyes were closed. Kerry glanced from one to the other as though comparing and contrasting their reactions. She looked like a scientist studying two different subjects in a case study. Male and female human, subjected to light foreplay, approximate levels of arousal...

Luka heard the faintly moist sound as Abby took Kerry's fingertips into her mouth, sucking on them delicately, and then he captured her thumb with his own mouth. Kerry's face didn't change, but she rocked her hips in place, signifying her own growing reaction.

She withdrew both hands at once, trailing them down the necks of each of her lovers, and Luka felt her fingers threading between his chest hairs, exploring the terrain of his torso. Abby moaned softly as Kerry took a nipple between thumb and forefinger, tweaking it. She did the same to Luka a moment later, firing off a bolt of pleasure through his body. He wanted to roll up and take Kerry in his arms, undressing her, but restrained himself. This was her show, by unspoken agreement among all three. Abby's hand found his, and their fingers intertwined, sharing the experience.

Kerry's gifted hands roamed lower, gliding over their waistlines, down into the richest territory. Her hand took a possessive hold of his cock, squeezing it expertly, bringing it to even greater hardness. Luka was able to hold in his groan of pleasure, but Abby gasped aloud as she was penetrated by Kerry's other hand. "Oh yes, Kerry..."

All three seemed to have found the same rhythm, rocking and undulating slowly on the bed, Kerry stroking and stimulating both at once, sharing their energy without losing her composure. Luka was surprised once again at how much he enjoyed sharing Abby with someone else, seeing and hearing her pleasured by a third party who was also pleasuring him. He'd never have considered this with his wife, never even fantasized about other people when he was with her. It wasn't just because Danijela believed strongly in monogamy, or that he wanted to be faithful to her - she was everything he needed, everything he wanted. He didn't think he could have done this with her, even if she agreed to it. But Abby loved this as much as he did.

Did that mean that his love for Abby wasn't the equal of that for his wife? Wasn't she enough for him? Maybe those weren't fair comparisons, but it still bothered Luka. And yet he could hardly devote any great thought to it while Kerry Weaver was giving him a handjob that made his eyes cross.

Abby's grip on his hand tightened and relaxed as her own pleasure rose and abated, and her voice was a constant presence. "Ohh, mmmm, yes..."

"What do you want, Abby?" Kerry spoke suddenly.

"More," she gasped. "I want this..."

"Say it," Kerry ordered.

"Fuck me, Kerry," she answered breathily, her head lolling to one side, then another. "Make me come, please..."

Without releasing Luka, Kerry turned the lion's share of her attention to Abby, focusing her will on the nurse's growing climax. She didn't do anything differently that Luka was capable of seeing, but the intensity of Abby's moans suddenly picked up, and her hips rose off the bed to meet Kerry's hand more fully. "Aaaahhhh...!" she cried out, and her back arched as she came, supported by feet and shoulders. Luka could feel her climax resonating through her hand gripping his, as well as the mattress under his back. There was a pulse in his groin that nearly made him come as well, but he held it in by an act of sheer willpower. Abby let out a long, low moan of satisfaction as she collapsed in place.

Kerry withdrew the hand from Abby's sex, bringing the fingers to her own mouth and slowly licking them clean, as if analyzing the results of her experiment. Then she turned her gaze to Luka. "Now you, I think," she said softly.

Easing herself downward, she took a new position between his legs, both hands molding themselves deliciously around his erection, stroking and caressing it on all sides. That sensation paled in comparison, however, when he felt her take it into her mouth. He'd felt that mouth upon him once before, when Kerry was bound and blindfolded, but that hadn't prepared him for what she could do while on top and in control, devoting her full attention to him. If that first oral experience with her was like a classical piece done well by a solo pianist, this was like the same piece played by an entire orchestra.

"Kerry, my GOD..." he began, then cut himself off with a gasp. The things her hands and mouth were doing to him had been done before, and quite expertly, but he couldn't recall them ever being done so well before. Not by John Carter, or Danijela, or even Abby. They were all terrific, but Kerry Weaver had skill beyond his expectations. He spoke again, but found himself lapsing into Croatian, saying things he knew neither woman could understand consciously. But his meaning was clear enough.

He could feel Kerry's humming more than he could hear it, the tuneless melody singing through his nerves and his veins, bringing his excitement to unexpected levels. Her hands squeezed his shaft and balls in perfect counterpoint, accentuating the feeling of her lips, tongue and throat. The fingers of his free hand ran through her silken, fiery hair as he held the back of her head, careful not to put any pressure on her. But even while he guided her head up and down, it was clear to all that Kerry was very much the one in complete control of this blowjob; its recipient was little more than a helpless puppet.

Abby released Luka's hand and rolled half onto him, bringing her own mouth to his broad chest, kissing and licking his sensitive nipples while running her hands over his body. He put his arm around her in appreciation, feeling the sweat cooling along her spine. His head was thrown back, his mutterings becoming less intelligible in any language, as Kerry sucked him to the brink of ecstasy and beyond. He cried out as he came in her mouth, feeling her doing her best to suck him dry. Good Lord, that felt incredible!

Kerry sat up slowly, keeping just enough suction on his penis that it slid out of her mouth only with great reluctance and a final, wet 'pop'. She let out a mild sigh, the only indication that she'd had any difficulty breathing. For a very brief moment, Luka thought he saw a flash of deep sadness cross her face, as if she'd just done something that disappointed herself terribly, perhaps a secret promise broken. Then it was gone again, and he thought maybe he'd imagined it.

"Abby," she said, beckoning the nurse towards her. Abby sat up and Kerry took hold of the back of her neck, pulled her close, and kissed her hard on the mouth, driving her tongue into the nude woman's mouth. Kerry's state of full dress made it an interesting contrast. Then, without letting go of Abby, Kerry broke the kiss and guided Abby's head to Luka's lap. "Keep him hard for me," she commanded, shifting away.

He felt the familiar sensation of Abby's talented mouth taking him in, sucking him slowly but surely, just enough to keep his arousal idling. He didn't need it to remain hard, watching Kerry undress herself, but he wasn't about to complain.

Kerry kept her back turned as she slid her clothes off, even though they'd both seen her naked before; it was as if there was some private reserve that she had to keep hidden. Then, to Luka's mild surprise, she slipped her overcoat back on over her nude body before turning back to him. She left it open, allowing access to her body while retaining some degree of mystique. He felt the allure of her presence keenly.

While Abby continued to give him leisurely head, Kerry took a foil packet from her coat pocket - apparently she had brought something to the party after all - and unwrapped the condom, discarding the wrapping on the bedside table. She lifted Abby's head with a single finger under her chin, then handed her the condom; Abby took it obediently and applied it to Luka with a nurse's economy of motion.

Kerry put one arm around Abby's shoulders, more for balance than intimacy, and carefully straddled Luka's erection, lowering herself onto it. Abby held her up surreptitiously, providing the support that Kerry's crutch usually did, while Kerry eased her hips downward, gradually engulfing his entire length within herself. A ragged breath escaped her lips, but otherwise she showed no reaction.

Luka, rediscovering how tight she was, recalled the first day he'd met Kerry Weaver, overhearing a couple of the nurses refer to her as "a real tightass." He hadn't understood the idiom at the time, but an image very similar to this one had sprung to his mind. It hadn't been long before he realized the phrase was a reference to her tough, no-nonsense style of management, but it was an interesting irony to discover that he'd been right the first time, too.

She closed her eyes, finding the rhythm of her breathing as she raised and lowered her hips, contracting and relaxing around him. Although she let out a small whimper or moan now and again, her face remained composed, even aloof. Luka wondered, with the part of himself that could think rationally while having sex, why she was reacting so differently than the first time they'd made love. The Kerry he'd slept with then was much more expressive in her pleasure, restrained only by her physical bonds. This time she was on top, in control, and yet seemed to be holding herself tightly within. Maybe it was Kerry's nature to be restrained, one way or another.

Luka held her hips in his hands and bucked his own up in response, flexing inside her, and she reacted immediately, her head falling back and her spine arching. Abby, still supporting her from the side, caught an upturned nipple in her mouth and suckled it lovingly.

Kerry's moans increased in volume and her face began to lose its neutral quality, though she kept her eyes closed. Luka repeated the motion, pulling her down a little harder, and he thought she flinched in pain as he did so. For a moment, he thought he'd hurt her, and eased off, trusting that she would voice an objection if anything was really wrong. She didn't.

If anything, she seemed to drive herself harder down upon him, even when the same look of discomfort shot across her. Luka's medical instincts were certain now that Kerry was hurting, but she clearly didn't want to stop. His concern for her welfare was outvoted by his respect for her determination; sometimes, he felt, it's good to push yourself and not shy away from pain. He wouldn't make that choice for Kerry, or anyone else, but if she made it for herself, then he'd respect that choice. Plus, he was enjoying himself too much to stop.

Kerry was sending mixed signals with her body language. One moment she seemed to be in seventh heaven from what Luka and Abby were doing to her, the next she appeared to be in torment, either physical or emotional. It looked to Luka like these impulses were dueling within her, and she was struggling to maintain a balance between them before they tore her apart. His detached side was beginning to entertain serious concerns about her, and yet he couldn't stop this from happening. She was almost throwing herself against him, in spite of whatever pain it might cause her, testing herself and demanding nothing less than complete satisfaction in return. Her voice rose to a steady cry as she clutched Abby's face against her breast, then she convulsed sharply and was still.

"Oh God..." she whispered, slowly easing herself off of Luka.

"Kerry," Luka said, finding the breath to speak, "are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Luka," she replied absently, still winded. "That was terrific."

He nodded, but something seemed amiss to him. He hadn't come, still recovering from the excellent blowjob she'd given him, but he had the nagging suspicion that she hadn't either.

"Abby," Kerry said, as if cutting off his line of thought, "it's your turn."

Abby, appearing similarly concerned, reached for Kerry, straddling Luka's body in the process.

"No, I mean with him," Kerry corrected her, deftly avoiding Abby's hands and lying on her side next to Luka. "I didn't get to see you two together last time. I want to watch you make love."

Luka and Abby looked at each other, their eyes agreeing that Kerry wasn't as contented as she let on, but they made a mutual decision not to press the issue now. She took up a position identical to the one Kerry had just vacated, took hold of his erection, still in the same condom, and slid it inside herself. As always, a shiver of delight ran through her body as her vaginal muscles relaxed enough to admit him.

They quickly fell into a practiced rhythm, finding the comfort that comes with a familiar experience, and yet their lovemaking had the freshness of new territory. The presence of an audience was something Luka could feel keenly, and yet he and Abby had eyes only for each other, bonding as much in their gaze as in their loins. He ran the palms of his hands upward from her pelvis, over her abdomen, to cup her breasts. He could hear the light flutter in her voice with each breath she expelled, undeniable proof of her excitement.

Sitting up, he cupped his hands behind her waist, allowing her to lean back without danger of falling. She trusted him completely, never worrying that he might drop her, and the growing urgency in her eyes was a sign of their upcoming climax. He felt the base of his own spine tingling in anticipation.

"God, yes, Luka, fuck me..." she rasped throatily, gripping his shoulders with both hands. Her brown hair flew about as she thrashed her head from side to side. He obeyed her on pure instinct, knowing he couldn't hold back much longer, but wanting her to reach orgasm before he did.

He didn't have long to wait before she came, crying out as the waves of radiance pulsed through her, making her skin seem to glow momentarily. He came a moment later, as if in response, and then slowly lay back, feeling her settle on top of him, her head against his chest. Their sweat cooled against their skin as they waited for the room to stop spinning.

"You're beautiful together," Kerry said, reminding Luka that she still lay next to the postorgasmic couple. The look on her face was dreamy, but unmistakably sad.

Abby reached out a hand to take hers. "Kerry..."

The ER Chief sat up, evading her touch. "I think I should go home now," she said, stooping to collect her clothes and begin dressing.

"Why don't you stay the night?" Luka offered.

"Yeah, we'd love to have you with us," Abby put in.

"No, but thank you," their guest replied without meeting their gaze. She stuffed her blouse and underwear into her coat pockets, buttoning it closed over her slacks. "This has been wonderful, but the more I think about it, the more I think John has the right idea. Sometimes celibacy is a good thing to explore."

Abby sat up. "Okay, but you don't have to rush off. We'll get up, have some dinner, and maybe talk...?"

Kerry looked at them. "Abby," she said quietly, "I hope you won't think me ungrateful, after everything you've both done, but I...I think maybe we should all keep our relationship on a professional basis for a while. All right?" There was the barest hint of a tear in one eye.

Abby started to say something else, but Luka took her arm. "Let her go," he said softly. Something was troubling Kerry deeply, they could both see that. But he knew she'd talk about it when and if she felt like it, and not before.

Kerry took up her crutch, then bent over to kiss Abby's forehead, then Luka's. "I'll see you both at work," she said. "Goodnight." And she fled before they could respond. They heard the apartment door close a moment later.

Abby and Luka lay together on the bed for a while, still nude, and then he said, "Well, that didn't go quite as we'd hoped..."

His companion didn't respond at once, but he heard her sniffle.

"Hey," he said, tilting her chin toward him. "Why are you crying?"

"Because she won't," Abby replied.


* * *


Kerry let the elevator doors close and felt the slight drop beneath her feet as it began descending. She leaned against the far wall, marshaling her energy for the El ride home.

Then, against her will, her knees buckled and she slid down the wall into a sitting position, the sobs beginning to come freely. She curled, almost fetally, and covered her face with her hands, futilely trying to hold it in.

She'd broken a promise she'd made to herself long ago. She'd allowed her own fears to have power over her. She'd only ever had to fake an orgasm with one lover before today, and it seemed that he'd always be with her, no matter how much she distanced herself from his memory, or who else she had been with since him.

Each new lover had brought her new brands of pleasure, and for years she had been able to hope that he'd never catch up with her again. Not him, personally, but the emptiness he'd created inside her. Mlungisi, Ellis, Kim, Abby, Luka...John...they'd all helped to fill in that emptiness, but tonight she'd discovered that it wasn't enough. John Carter was right: sex without love was not enough. And love, it seemed, was something she could never have.

Early the next morning four people lay awake in their beds. Four people sighed as they realized that something special had been allowed to slip away the day before. Four people stared at the ceiling, trying to gather the strength to make it through another day at work with the other three. One person had a heart touched with sadness over the loss of love. One person had a heart being strengthened with the self-knowledge of having done the right thing. One person had a heart that, broken, yearned to be put together once again, yet despairing of ever having that happen. One person had a heart that burned with anger over being judged, found lacking and then summarily rejected.

Four people showered for the day, dressed, ate breakfast or what passed for it, then headed off to work.

"Luka, let it go," Abby laid a hand on Luka's arm as they paused outside the ambulance bay doors. "It wasn't an easy decision for John, so just let it go."

Luka nodded, his mouth set in a rigid line. For Abby he would do that. Or, at least he would try. But John's decision had hurt a lot of people, himself included. "I'll try," he said.

Abby looked up at his stony face and nodded, knowing she couldn't ask for more than that from him.

The two entered the building and saw Kerry at the board, already making plans for the day.

"Good morning, Kerry," Luka said as he approached her.

Kerry turned around and Luka bit back a gasp of surprise as he took in her pale skin and the dark circles under her eyes. He saw Kerry's eyes flicker over to Abby and he knew that Abby's expression had revealed how she felt over Kerry's appearance.

"Good morning," Kerry said. "I might as well warn everyone that I had a lousy night and am in a bad mood." She looked over at Dave Malucci. "Don't push me today."

Malucci mouthed an 'okay' and then headed into the lounge. Luka and Abby merely nodded, thinking they probably didn't look any more rested than Kerry. Following Malucci, they entered the lounge to get ready for the day. They found the resident in conversation with John, already complaining about Kerry's attitude.

"Man, we are in for it today. Have you seen her? She looks as if something bit her head off, chewed it up and spit her out. And she's already warned us that she'll be in bitch mode all day." Malucci said as he poured a cup of coffee.

John draped his stethoscope around his neck, then shut his locker door. "In that case, Dave, I'd advise you to stay on your toes all day."

"I'll tell you what she needs..." Malucci started to say.

"A good night's sleep." Luka said as he jerked his locker door open.

"Well, that, too. No, my friends, what the Chief needs is a good fuck. You mark my words, it would do a world of good for her." As the aura of the room turned icy, Malucci looked from face to face. "What?"

John's voice was tight with controlled anger. "Don't ever say that about her again, Malucci. Is that understood?"

"Hey, I can't help it if it's the truth," Malucci protested.

The next thing he knew his coffee cup was flying out of his hand and bouncing over the floor, spewing coffee everywhere as two hands grabbed the front of his scrub top and roughly pinned him against the wall.

"I'm serious, Malucci. Do not *ever* say anything like that about Kerry Weaver or I'll reach down your throat and pull out your balls. Am I understood?"

"Carter, let him go," Luka said. When John didn't move to release Dave, Luka grabbed him by the shoulders, but he didn't move him. "John? Let him go."

John slowly released the material. "Get out of here," he said to Malucci.

"Yeah, I think I will get to work now." Malucci eased his way out of the nearest door.

"I need some air," John said as he left the lounge and headed outside. He had not yet logged in, so technically he would be late, but he didn't care. There was no way he could go out to the admit area as angry as he was. He'd be just as likely to throw Malucci across the desk as he was to pick up a chart and start work.

"Well, that was...interesting," Abby said.

"A little too little, too late, wouldn't you say? If John cared that much about Kerry's feelings then why didn't he stay last night?" Luka said as he went to get ready for his shift.

"Maybe it was because he cared too much, Luka," Abby said as she hugged him from behind. "I'll catch you later." Then she left to punch in for her shift.

Luka put on his lab coat and scowled at his reflection in the mirror. "Cares too much? I don't know about that. He broke her heart and now he's acting as if he cares?" Luka shook his head at his reflection. Abby had asked him to let it go, but he couldn't. And not only because of how John had hurt Kerry, but also because of how John had hurt him and Abby.

Luka slammed his door closed, shoved his stethoscope into his pocket and followed John outside. He found him leaning against the side of the building, smoking.

"I thought you quit."

"I thought I did, too." John replied.

Luka braced his shoulder against the building and looked at John, thinking of how much the man had changed his life in such a short time. "About last night..."

"I'm sorry. I should have stayed to explain things, but I just couldn't. I was afraid I'd change my mind once I saw everyone there." John dropped the cigarette to the ground and crushed it out.

"I would have liked to have had the chance to change your mind, John. As would Kerry. What you said hurt her very much."

John looked over at Luka, his eyes sad. "I'm sorry about that. I didn't make that decision lightly, Luka. And I certainly didn't make it to hurt anyone. But I refuse to just settle for sex. I want to make love with someone who loves me back, and that wasn't happening."

Luka's brow furrowed as he listened to John. "That's not quite what Abby said. She said you didn't want to just have sex with someone you didn't love. That's what hurt us all, John. To think that you didn't care about us."

John shook his head. "That's just a part of it, Luka. The problem is that I do love Kerry. She's the one who doesn't love me."

"You wouldn't say that if you had seen the look in her eyes last night, John." Luka said.

John shook his head. "I heard it from her own lips, Luka. I'm not so dense that I need to stand there and have it rammed down my throat."

Luka grinned. "No, usually you willingly take *it* in." When that earned him a glare instead of a chuckle, Luka continued. "And what about me? Or Abby?"

"You don't love me, either."

"Is that so? And when did you become a mind reader, John Carter? Have you ever asked me how I felt about you?"

"No. But you're in love with Abby."

"That doesn't mean I don't love you, John."

"Maybe. But it does mean that you're not *in love* with me, Luka. And I'm not in love with you, either." John reached out and rested his hand against Luka's cheek. "I care about you a lot. I also care a lot about Abby. But I don't want to spend the rest of my life with either one of you. I don't want Abby to have my children. Can you understand that?"

Luka reached up and captured John's hand with his own, then he stepped closer, forcing John against the wall. "I understand that perfectly well, John. And can you understand that what we've done, with the exception of the very first time, has been about more than sex for me? I love you and care about you and that should mean something." Luka lowered his head slightly and captured John's lips in a soft kiss, not really caring if anyone was around to see. When he pulled away he saw a look of desire in John's eyes.

"I guess it does mean something to you after all. I'll accept your decision, John. But only on the condition that you think things over again. I love you. Abby loves you. Kerry loves you. It might not be the romantic love that you're looking for at the moment, but we're not interested in you just because we enjoy having sex with you. It's because we enjoy making love with you." Luka pulled away. "Think about that." He headed back inside.

John leaned back against the brick wall, confused. He had been so sure about the feelings Luka and Abby had for him and now Luka was telling him that there was more there then he had realized. And that Kerry was in love with him. Yet she had been so forceful when she had told him that she wasn't. Who was he to believe?

It was close to ten minutes later before John went inside and he wasn't any closer to figuring out an answer than he had been when he first asked the question.

************************

Once inside, Luka went directly to Kerry. "We need to talk. Now." He said.

"I'm a little busy, Dr. Kovac. It will have to wait," Kerry tersely replied, ever conscious of the multiple pairs of eyes on her.

"It can't wait. Come along." Luka headed into exam one and Kerry had no choice but to follow or risk having him make a scene. She closed the door and leaned against it. "Luka, I'm tired and cranky. What can be so important that you have to talk with me now?"

"John is in love with you." Luka said, watching her face for a reaction. He thought he saw something flicker in her eyes, but then it was gone and she regarded him coolly.

"You dragged me in here just to lie to me?"

"It's not a lie, Kerry. I was just speaking with him outside. He loves you. Abby wasn't entirely accurate when she told us John's reasons for backing out last night. Yes, he did say that he wanted to make love to someone he loved. But he also said that he wanted that person to love him back. He doesn't believe that you love him, Kerry. Because you've already told him that you don't." Luka paused, then continued, still watching her face. "But we both know that's a lie, don't we?"

Kerry opened her mouth to retort, but something in Luka's eyes stopped her.

There was a long pause. Then she turned away and left the exam room.

Luka followed her in exasperation back to the admit desk, determined not to let her run away from him.

"Amira," Kerry said to the desk clerk before he could address her again, "Dr. Kovac and I will be outside. Just page us if we're needed."

The clerk nodded, and Kerry looked at Luka.

"You want to take a walk?" she said quietly.

************************

They were halfway around the block before Kerry spoke. "Luka..." she said, "can we keep this conversation just between the two of us?"

"If you prefer," he said.

"I mean it, this is just for your ears. Not John's, not Abby's. Can you promise me that?"

"I just did, Kerry. Abby and I both believe in respecting other people's confidences, even from each other."

"Okay." Kerry nodded, but couldn't think of how to start. "Okay," she said again, more to herself than Luka. She stopped walking and leaned against the hospital wall.

Luka paused beside her, and they watched the traffic go by together. After a while, he said, "You are in love with John, aren't you?"

Kerry knew she should deny it again, as she had so many times, for so long, but she was so tired of lying. To other people, and to herself. She nodded, so small as to be invisible to anyone but Luka.

He didn't say anything.

She felt the almost imperceptible sigh of relief that she'd felt on a few other occasions. When she admitted to Luka that she'd been seeing Kim Legaspi, when she told Carol that the woman she was treating was her mother - or so she thought at the time - and when she told John the truth about her adoption. In each case, she'd revealed a chink in her armor, and lived to tell the tale. How much longer could her armor hold together with so many cracks in it?

"Why did you tell him you're not?"

"I thought it was true," she replied. "I hoped it was true..."

"Why?"

Rather than answer that question directly, she said, "I told Abby I didn't fall in love, and that was partly true. Perhaps it would have been more accurate to say I had chosen never to fall in love again." She shook her head. "It's too dangerous."

"You're afraid," he said, as though clarifying it for himself.

"Yes." Terrified beyond reason was more like it, she thought.

Luka laid a hand on her shoulder. "I know it's hard, Kerry, but you can't let your fear keep you from being happy."

She shook it off. "That's easy for you to say," she snapped. "You've got the one you love. You haven't lost her."

His body and voice stiffened. "Yes I have," he said.

Sudden realization swept through her. "Oh God, Luka, I'm sorry," she said, forcing herself to look at him. "I forgot. I didn't mean it that way..." How stupid of her to say something like that. As if any heartbreak of hers could compare with what he'd suffered.

"It's all right." His demeanor softened again. Obviously this wasn't the first time he'd put up with other people's insensitivity. "Really, it is."

She looked away again, feeling her eyes starting to fill.

"But Kerry, there's still no reason to think you can never know love again. Yes, you're risking being hurt some more, but risk is a part of life. It's the reason we go on living, even when death is inevitable." He rapped his knuckles on the wall of the hospital. "That's why we work so hard to save our patients, no matter how many we lose. Every day we draw breath, we're risking the possibility that it will be our last. But that's all the more reason to keep breathing."

Kerry wiped away the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks.

"You owe it to yourself to try to be happy, Kerry. The Kerry Weaver I know has always been a fighter. To back away from this just because you're afraid of being hurt..."

"You don't understand," she broke in. "It's not just me I'm afraid for. It's John."

Luka looked at her carefully. "What do you mean?"

She faced him through moist eyes. "Everyone I've loved, everyone who loved me, I've hurt them all. Kim, Ellis, you and Abby. Even people like Mark and Elizabeth, who could've been my friends, I've had to injure them and drive them away. It's my curse. You touch me, you get hurt."

"Kerry, that's ridiculous. Whatever's happened in the past, you can't know for certain that the future..."

"History's proven it, Luka, time and again. I can't stop it, and I can't ignore the pattern. But most of all, I can't...I won't do that to John Carter. Not to him, of all people. I couldn't live with myself."

He sighed. "You've already hurt him, Kerry."

"You see? It's inevitable. But that's nothing to what could happen to him if I had let his schoolboy crush on me go on much longer."

"You think that's all it is?" Luka replied angrily. "Have you been paying any attention at all, Kerry?"

"Stop it, Luka. I'm trying to explain this to you, so just listen, will you?"

He crossed his arms, but closed his mouth.

"You're right, I do love John. I've always loved him in one way or another, since my first year here. It's hard not to, you know?"

He nodded, mindful of the effect John Carter had had on him as well, and in a much shorter time.

"I thought I could keep it at length, just as a sort of detached affection, like administrators often have for the people working under them. I admired how he always held up under the toughest times I could give him, and came back for more. I loved how he fought to stay in emergency medicine no matter how badly he'd struggled, and no matter what he gave up in terms of his surgical career. I loved that he'd caught the same passion for trauma that I had."

He nodded again, not interrupting.

"And then, when he came to me, looking for a place to live..." She trailed off, recalling how she'd taken him in. In a sense, he'd never left.

"Why did you agree to rent to him?" Luka asked curiously. "I'd have thought you'd be concerned about a conflict of interest."

"I should have been," she admitted. "But...I was hurting, I was lonely, and I was drunk. Even then, I might have turned anyone else from the hospital away, but..."

"Right. Not John."

They were quiet for a bit, the breezes ruffling their hair.

"Perhaps if this had happened a couple of years ago, or a few years later, then maybe...but not now. He's at too much of a crossroads in his life, his recovery is still too young. He's too vulnerable. If I let him stay with me, I'll break his heart worse than ever before, and that could kill him. If not his body, then his spirit. I won't ever risk doing that to him just for my own sake, Luka. Can you understand that?"

He nodded, understanding if not agreeing. "Yes."

Kerry blew out her breath sharply, feeling the exhaustion that comes with baring one's soul. "He's not like anyone I ever met before. He's so very young, and yet..."

"He has such an old soul," Luka finished for her.

"Yes, he does. He's innocent yet wise, experienced but still naïve sometimes. You and I have seen more things, and worse things than he has, but he seems to feel them more deeply. He's been so strong in the past, but then Lucy died and he fell harder than any of us knew at first."

"Except Abby."

"Yes. Thank God for her intuition about him. If she hadn't told us when she did..." Kerry didn't let herself think about what might have happened to John if his addiction had gone unnoticed any longer. "I've always tried to keep him safe," she added. "I'll always do that, even if it means keeping him safe from me."

Luka straightened from where he'd been leaning. "Does he know how you feel?"

"I don't know."

"He needs to."

Kerry looked away down the street.

"He needs to, Kerry," Luka repeated. "He thinks you rejected him because he means nothing to you. That could lead to the very same downfall you were hoping to prevent."

She wanted to argue, to tell him he was wrong, but she couldn't.

"He needs to know, and you need to tell him. Besides, you should hear for yourself why John didn't come to our place the other night. You should hear his reasons, just like he should hear yours. You both need to clear the air, if only for the sake of closure, or you'll both be like untreated wounds."

After a long pause, and with great reluctance, she said, "You're right."

He put his hand on her shoulder again, and this time she let him. "You both deserve to be at peace about this."

Kerry put her hand over his. "Thank you, Luka."

"You're welcome."

"So what do I do? Stop him at the admit desk and tell him? Wait until his next evaluation and then add, 'oh, by the way, Carter...'?"

"No." He chuckled. "It should be outside of work, in private. Maybe at your home..."

Kerry snickered. "He'd never agree to go there again."

"He would if you asked him, Kerry."

"No, not if it was just me. Would you come, too? You and Abby? I think we all need to talk together, and settle all the things that have happened."

He thought about it, and then nodded. "All right. I'll talk to Abby about it, but I'm sure she'll agree."

"No sex, no pressure," she said, "we're just going to talk. Even if John wants to remain celibate, he'd probably agree to that, right?"

"I think so."

A sharp beeping precluded her next thought, and they both looked at their hips in unison. "It's me," Kerry said, palming her pager.

A second beeping joined hers in counterpoint. "Me too," Luka said.

They heard the sirens a moment later, approaching.

"Okay, time to get back to work," Kerry said, turning to intercept them at the ER doors.

Luka stayed right by her side.

Traumas are more anticlimactic in nature than people think if they haven't worked in an ER. That is, the fastest, tensest, most exciting part comes right at the beginning, and then it slows down to hours of detail work and follow-up care. Rather than starting slow and building up to the big payoff, like the movies, they work the other way around entirely. Kerry couldn't imagine that they'd make for good television.

Every once in a while, though, there's a surprise twist to them. Like today, for example. The incoming patients that she and Luka had responded to looked like your basic two-car accident, single driver versus family out for a meal. The family sustained the worst of it -- wasn't that always the way? -- but they all would pull through. The other driver, though dazed, had been only slightly hurt, but he had caused the most trouble.

Kerry remembered preparing to reset his dislocated shoulder when it happened. The first thing she was aware of was Carter's full weight slamming into her as he tackled her to the floor. As he landed on top of her, she had a moment of furious indignation before she heard Abby yell, "GUN!"

Over Carter's shoulder, she saw Abby grabbing at the small weapon in the driver's uninjured hand, her latex gloves slick with blood, unable to get hold of it. Then Malik caught the man's wrist and twisted the gun away before it could go off. It later turned out that the safety was still on; the man was frightened and delirious, not bloodthirsty. But for a long moment there, the expectation of sudden, mortal violence had chilled everyone in the Trauma Room. Afterward, when Malik had cracked a smile and said, "There's another case for gun control, huh?" no one had laughed.

What she remembered most strongly, many hours later, was the look in John's eyes as he got off of her and helped her up. The fading look of terror at the thought that she might have been shot. She didn't say anything to him; while her professional judgment dictated that he should have grabbed the gun instead of her, she was grateful for his protection and touched at his concern. And she recalled the feel of his body against hers, even under those conditions...

Pushing it aside, she took a break from her paperwork - incident reports, patient reports, billing reports, and still more reports - and sought out a cup of coffee. As usual, the least offensive stuff seemed to come from the pot in the lounge. Frank had been making it lately, and he seemed to have a knack for it. Must be a cop thing, she thought.

Glancing out the window as she poured, she spotted Abby Lockhart leaning against the wall. An unlit cigarette was between her lips, and there was a cheap lighter in her hands, but she appeared to be debating whether to fire it up or not. Wrestling with the temptation. To smoke or not to smoke, that is the question. Her hands were shaking.

Smiling tiredly, Kerry tapped on the windowpane to get her attention and shook a 'naughty naughty' finger at her. Abby looked at her, returned the smile, then tossed the cigarette away and came inside.

She entered the lounge a moment later. "Thanks," she said. "I keep saying I've quit, but some days..."

"You're welcome." Kerry offered her a cup. "Give me your opinion, Abby. Does the coffee taste better lately?"

She took a sip, thought about it, then nodded. "Yeah, a little."

"Good, then I'm not losing my mind." She remained standing while Abby sank onto the sofa. "And thanks for the help with Jesse James in there."

"Sure. I'm just glad Luka wasn't there, or he might have broken the guy's neck. You know how he gets when people he cares about are in danger."

"Mmm-hmm. Have you talked to him since then?"

"No, he's upstairs. He was concerned about Mrs. Massey's collapsed lung, and wanted to follow up." She was referring to the mother in the family car.

"Good, good." Kerry nodded in approval. "I was talking to him earlier, before they all came in."

"Oh, yeah?"

"He was going to tell you later, but since you're here..." Kerry swallowed a mouthful of coffee, took a breath, and decided to just dive into it. "We were saying that the four of us should meet at my house. You, me, Luka and John."

Abby's eyebrows went up, but her look was reserved. "Didn't we try that once already?"

"I don't mean to have sex. I mean to talk. John and I, especially, have been doing too much of the former and not enough of the latter."

>From the look on Abby's face, she might have disagreed, but she didn't say so. "All right. That sounds like a good idea. Clear the air and all that."

"Exactly. I was thinking we should all have dinner. I'll cook."

"Okay." Abby finished her coffee and rinsed out her cup. "Anything you want to talk about now, or should we save it until we're all together?"

"I'm not sure John will agree as quickly," Kerry told her, dodging the question. "Luka said he'd talk to him, but maybe if you do, too, it would help."

"Well, I'll certainly talk to him, Kerry, but if he decides he doesn't want to, I'm not going to try to change his mind. As much as I want you two to be happy together, I have to respect his choices as a friend."

"I know..."

Abby looked like she was ready to go back to work, but she paused to put a hand on Kerry's shoulder, in almost exactly the same way Luka had done earlier that day. "He still loves you, you know. When he thought you were in danger, the way he reacted...it didn't matter that you'd hurt him."

Kerry didn't reply.

Abby turned away, and was almost to the door when Kerry said, "I love him."

She turned back. "What?"

Kerry squared her shoulders and made herself face Abby directly. "I said I love him. I can't pretend I don't anymore."

"Oh, Kerry..." The nurse came to her and put her arms around Kerry's shoulders, hugging her warmly. "Have you told him?"

Kerry eased herself free of Abby's embrace. "No, and please don't tell him."

"Why not?"

"I've already been through it with Luka once today, and I'm not up to another conversation about it. But it's one of the main reasons I want us to meet again."

Abby nodded. "Of course. I'll do all I can to get John to come to dinner, if that's the case.

Kerry nodded once, as though closing the matter. "At any rate, Abby, you win, and I thought you should know it. I play fair, after all."

There was an odd moment as Abby angled an eyebrow at her. "I win?" she repeated, puzzled.

"Our bet, remember? I admit it, I give, I surrender. I'm in love with John Carter and I'm saying so. You don't owe me anything," she concluded glumly, leaning a hip against the sink.

Both women were quiet for a bit, and then Abby began laughing softly.

Kerry scowled at her. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that gloating isn't considered the act of a good sport?" she said. "Honestly, Abby, learn how to win graciously."

That made Abby laugh harder. "Kerry," she said, when she could talk, "you're a good friend and I love you, but sometimes you can be really fucking dense." She leaned in to give Kerry a sisterly kiss on the mouth, then turned to leave.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kerry asked, indignantly.

"Check your calendar, sweetie," Abby said over her shoulder before she pushed open the door and disappeared.

Kerry stood alone, wondering what had gotten into Abby, and then decided to forget it and get back to her paperwork. All those reports waiting for her, each one with today's date on it...

Today's date. The first of the month.

She'd made it past the wager's deadline before admitting she loved John.

"Oh my god," she muttered to herself incredulously. "I won..."

All the way back to her office, she thought about Abby's obligation to devote her gifted mouth to Kerry's pleasure. Twice. It didn't exactly make up for losing the man she loved, but it was an interesting consolation prize.

When Malucci asked her in passing what she was grinning about, she surprised everyone by patting his cheek and replying, "Maybe I'll tell you when you're older, Dave."

***********************

After checking on Mrs. Massey, Luka had returned to the ER only to hear about the other driver frantically waving a gun around. To hear Malik tell it, Kerry was lucky to not have any broken bones from the flying tackle that Carter had hit her with. Somehow, Luka wasn't surprised to hear that John's first instinct had been to protect Kerry. Luka sought out Abby to tell her about his and Kerry's plan to have them all get together for dinner and a long talk. He received his second surprise of the day to find out from her that Kerry had already mentioned it -- and that Kerry had admitted to being in love with John. If Kerry was so willing to share the news, why couldn't she share it with the person who needed to hear it the most? Luka wondered.

"I guess I should track him down and see how he feels about this dinner," Luka said.

"Good luck. If you fail to convince him to show up, then I promised I'd do all I could to make John change his mind," Abby told him.

Luka grinned. "I'll do my best to convince him then, so you won't have to. Any idea where he's gone off to? I don't see his name on the board."

"On break. Try the roof. He looked as if he could use some fresh air after that gun scare." She replied.

"Who are you looking for?" Malucci asked as he paused while pulling a chart from the rack.

"Carter," Luka simply replied.

"He ain't up on the roof, I was just there getting some air." If Malucci felt any resentment over his and Carter's earlier 'encounter', he wasn't showing it.

"Thank you. Maybe I'll try the cafeteria." Luka said.

"Glad to be of help," Malucci replied with a grin as he walked away, chart in hand.

"Excuse me," Frank said, leaning over the desk. "I heard Dr. Carter saying something about needing to check out something in the basement."

"The basement?" Abby repeated, clearly confused.

Frank nodded. "Didn't make any sense to me, either, but hey, who am I to argue with where the docs want to spend their break times?"

"Thank you, Frank," Luka said. He took Abby by the arm and walked away from the admit area, tired of being overheard every time he opened his mouth. "If you need me, page me," he said.

"Right. I hope you find him." Abby replied, her brown eyes worried.

"So do I. Although I'm sure he was just looking for a quiet place to rest. After all, nearly everyone escapes to the ambulance bay or the roof, don't they?" Luka asked with a small smile as he tried to put Abby at ease. John never went anyplace *but* the roof or the ambulance bay when he wanted some fresh air or to grab a quick break from the ER. Never.

Abby nodded and smiled back. "You had better hurry up before another trauma hits us or you'll never get a chance to talk with him."

"You're right. I'll be back soon. And with a 'yes' from him," Luka said as they walked to the elevators.

Abby laughed. "Pretty sure of your persuasive powers, aren't you?"

Luka grinned wickedly. "Yes, I am." The elevator door opened and after all the passengers had spilled out, Luka stepped inside. "Maybe I'll give you a free demonstration later?"

Abby laughed. "Maybe...although I can't of anything that I need persuading to do. Now, I might need to see if you can persuade yourself to do the dishes every night..."

Luka was saved from hearing Abby's other ideas by the closing of the doors.

*************************

The basement. So many places for Carter to have gone, Luka thought as he stepped out of the elevator. In one direction lay the morgue. In the other, nothing but a lot of empty storage rooms. Luka slowly smiled as he let his feet take him toward one storage room in particular -- the room where it really all began.

The door was slightly ajar and Luka could see that the light bulb had been replace by the warm glow that was falling through the crack, almost showing him the way to John. Luka quietly pushed the door open some more, his eyes already scanning the room for a sign of his friend, and yes, lover. Those hazel eyes came to a stop at the far wall, where John was seated on the mattress, his back to the wall.

Since John had his knees drawn up and his head resting on his knees, he couldn't have seen Luka in the doorway, and yet he said Luka's name before he ever raised his head. Their eyes met and locked. "Come on in. It's safe to close the door. The lock's been removed. For safety, I guess." John said.

"Are you sorry that the lock wasn't removed long ago?" Luka asked as he stepped into the room and let the door close behind him.

John shook his head. "No." He gestured to the mattress, indicating that he wanted Luka to sit with him. "No, I'm not sorry at all about that. What about you?" John's brown eyes were even darker than normal as he looked up at Luka.

"No. I'm not sorry about it, either. If the door had not been locked, then I would have never found you, and I don't regret that one bit, John." Luka eased himself to the floor. "Seems warmer in here now."

"Yeah." John simply replied.

Luka looked around the room, noting that the massage oil, the candle and the radio had all disappeared. Returned to hiding, he wondered, or properly disposed of? Not that it really mattered. All that happened that night seemed as if it had happened a hundred years ago. It was now the stuff of dreams. Pleasant dreams, but dreams nonetheless. As much as he ached to feel John's touch upon his skin or his mouth on his cock, or how warm and tight John was inside, Luka knew it wouldn't happen again. That had been John's choice and even though Luka hated that choice, he knew he had to honor it. The best that could happen now would be to help John and Kerry find a way to resolve the issues between them. Maybe they would find love -- which was Luka's hope. But it was possible they wouldn't. And if that was to be their fate then Luka wanted to make sure that everything possible had been done to make it easier for each of them to handle.

Luka was trying to find a way to bring up the meeting at Kerry's house when John spoke. "I fucked up today, Luka, and people could have died because of it." John was staring at his knees, his hands curled into fists in his lap.

"I heard that your patient had a gun and that you got Kerry out of the way. I don't see how that can be considered fucking up, John."

John shook his head. "Don't you see? I left Abby standing there, Luka. Alone. Undefended. Vulnerable. It was just a stroke of luck that Malik was able to grab his wrist. Dumb luck. And all because I saw that gun and Kerry in the same room and I knew I couldn't let her risk getting hurt. I should have tried to disarm the patient, Luka. I shouldn't have been tackling Kerry to the ground."

John got up and began to pace the small cleared area of the floor. "What good does it do me to say that I won't be having sex with Kerry if I can't even do my job without thinking of her first? I love her, Luka, and that will never change. I was just deluding myself to think that it would. That all I had to do was say that I wouldn't have sex with someone who didn't love me and that my love would die. It won't. I can see that now. And I can also see that I can't continue to work here at County. Not with Kerry. Not with Abby. And not with you, Luka."

Luka was on his feet in an instant, his hands grabbing John by the shoulders, roughly turning the man so they could speak face to face. "Don't say that, John. You can't leave. You're Abby's best friend, you're my friend. And, yes, if I have my way, you'll be my lover again. You can't leave us."

"I can't stay here, Luka. Knowing how Kerry feels..." there were tears in John's eyes. "I just can't. I'll stay in Chicago. There have to be other ER's that will hire me. I'll see you and Abby still. But I can't come here, day in and day out and see Kerry, knowing how she feels."

Luka drew John against his chest, his arms wrapped around him. "It doesn't have to end like this, John. Trust me."

John shook his head against Luka's shoulder. "It has to end."

An idea sparked in Luka's brain. Okay, he thought, so it's not the truth, but it's not a lie, either. "John," he ventured, "what if I could convince Kerry to meet with you so the two of you can talk things out? I know that you have a lot to say to her and saying those things directly to her face might be therapeutic for you."

"It would hurt too much to be alone with her, Luka. I wouldn't be able to talk or think because all I'd have on my mind would be how easy it was to kiss her...to love her." John's voice was slightly muffled against Luka's lab coat.

"How about if Abby and I were there? To act as a buffer between the two of you? Would that be okay?"

John thought that over for a few moments. "I suppose so. But I wouldn't want anyone getting the wrong ideas..."

"We could just have dinner or something. Everyone would know that sex would not be expected. Just a safe and private environment where you and Kerry can discuss things."

"You'd never get Kerry to agree," John said, stepping back to look into Luka's eyes. "It's a good idea, but I don't think she'd be willing."

"You might be right, but I can try to convince her to say yes." Luka put his fingers under John's chin and tipped it up slightly as he grinned. "Say that you want this, John, and I'll do everything in my power to persuade Kerry to agree."

John looked deeply into Luka's eyes and saw that the man meant what he said. Meeting with Kerry, even with Luka and Abby present, would be difficult, but not impossible. Staying at County with things the way they were *was* impossible. And the truth was that John didn't really want to leave. He nodded. "Okay. If you can get Kerry to say yes, then it's a go."

"Yes!" Luka hugged John tightly, impulsively kissing him on the lips. It was meant to be a quick kiss of victory and acceptance, but it turned into something more when John's lips parted under his. Luka's tongue sought out the contours of John's mouth, exploring greedily, afraid that this chance would never come again. Their hands were roaming, caressing and teasing. Luka felt his belt being unbuckled, heard the zipper of his pants lower and he tensed as he waited for the touch of John's hand upon his heated flesh. What he got instead was a vibration and the sound of a beeper sounding off. "Damn it!" Luka broke away from John, noting John's swollen lips and flushed face. The desire in his dark eyes and the prominent bulge in behind the pants that Luka's hands hadn't been quick enough to free. Luka scowled at his pager. "I've got to go."

John laughed. "Figures." He took a deep breath, somewhat disappointed that they had been interrupted, but also glad of it. So much for him sticking to his 'convictions', he thought. "I'm sure that my break time is long over, so I'll head back with you. Although, I'm sure tongues will wag when we show up in the ER looking as if we were interrupted while having sex."

"Hell, if that were the case, then I'd look angrier," Luka growled as he followed John out of the room.

As Luka headed toward the elevators, John stepped back to the door, taking one last look into the room before he turned off the light and shut the door. Then he followed Luka to the elevators so he could at least try to work without constantly thinking about Kerry.

*************

"So that's the situation," John concluded, letting out a sigh of exhaustion after having talked so much. "That's how I feel."

"I see," said the older woman across from him. Her hands curled around the mug of tea.

John sighed and rolled his neck. Getting it all out in the open was like setting down a huge burden he'd been carrying. But it didn't make the burden go away. "So what do you think?"

She regarded him silently for a long time. Then she said, "John...you know I love you completely. And I'll respect and support any choice you make."

He nodded gratefully. "Thank you. I love you, too."

"But," she added, "you're being a real blockhead."

He blinked in surprise, then laughed. "That's the Gamma I know and love," he said. "So what do you think I should do?"

"I can't tell you that," Millicent Carter said. "It's your choice who to sleep with. But whatever your choice is, I think you should make it for the right reasons. If you want to remain celibate because it's safer during your recovery, or because you don't want to be in a relationship, then that's one thing. But if that's not what you want, and you're just denying the people who love you because they don't live up to some idealized standard in your mind, you've got no one to blame but yourself."

He looked down at the surface of the table. "You mean Kerry?"

"Could be. That's up to you. Kerry, or Abby, or Luka. All three of them, if you want."

John shifted uncomfortably. "I'm surprised to hear you say that."

"Why?"

"Well, Gamma, it's been pretty obvious that you disapproved of...that sort of thing."

She cocked an eyebrow. "What makes you think so?"

"Well..." he said again, spreading his hands. "I mean, with A.C...."

Millicent scowled. "My disapproval of your cousin's private life has nothing to do with her enjoying both sexes. She's always been careless and indiscriminate about her choice of partners. She goes through them casually, with little regard for the consequences, but that's not like you, John. I know that you have real feelings for all three of them, or you wouldn't have slept with any of them."

John digested this silently, then said, "All right. Maybe I could still make love with Luka and Abby, but...not with Kerry."

"Because you're in love with her?"

"Yeah."

"And she doesn't love you?"

"Right."

"But she still wants to have sex with you?"

"That's what she said."

John's grandmother took a long sip of tea, deep in thought. "Then what's the problem?" she said at last.

"Gamma, I just finished explaining the problem!"

"No, you just finished explaining what you think is the problem." She changed her tack. "Do you consider Peter Benton your friend?"

"What?" The change of subject took John off guard at first. "Yes, of course I do. He's one of the people I trust most. He taught me so much of what I know about medicine today, and was there for me when I needed him the most."

"And how often in all the years you've known him has he acknowledged that friendship openly?"

He shook his head. "I see where you're going with this," he said. "But it's different. Kerry looked me right in the eye and told me that she didn't love me."

"And you took her at her word?"

"Why would she lie to me?"

"I don't know," Millicent admitted. "But even if she doesn't, she still wants you in her life. And you want her in yours..."

"Gamma..." John pushed his chair back. "What kind of relationship would that be? I love her, but she doesn't love me? How could I be with her under those circumstances?"

She regarded him very closely. "If your grandfather had felt that way," she said softly, "you wouldn't be here now."

About to stand up, John froze, startled yet again at his grandmother's words. "What's that supposed to mean?"

She waited until he was settled again before replying. "I love your grandfather, John. I love him enough to stand by him for nearly half a century and to run a business and raise a family with him. But I was never in love with him. Not the way you want Kerry to be in love with you."

John was speechless.

"My point is, if you want to wait for some romantic notion of absolute, head-over-heels love to come along, that's your business. But you could be missing out on something very real and infinitely more rewarding that's right in front of you." She finished her tea and set her mug aside. "Maybe if you truly love someone, insisting that their love measure up to yours is just selfish. You love them because you love them. No matter how they feel about you."

John sat quietly; recalling how he'd reacted when he thought Kerry was in danger. The fact that she didn't return his love hadn't entered into it. Maybe Gamma was right. "So you think I should take Kerry back?"

"I think you should go talk to her with an open mind. That's all."

After a long silence, John nodded. He got up and kissed her on the forehead. "Okay," he said.

A little while later, just before they each retired for bed, John asked her, "Why did you marry Granddad, if you didn't love him?"

She smiled and said, "He was rich, he was good in bed, and he loved me. You do the math, kid."

*******************

Kerry wandered, restlessly, through her house in the faint hours before dawn. She told herself she was considering what kind of meal to serve when she had John, Abby and Luka for dinner. But her mind was less concerned with matters of hospitality than those of the heart.

Eventually, she found herself drifting down to the basement, still furnished and awaiting its next tenant. It had waited this way since John moved out, and she'd taken no steps to find another boarder. Of the handful of young men and women she'd housed here since buying the house, only one had made it his own, leaving a permanent psychic imprint on the space, and violating that space seemed wrong to her.

Leaving the lights off and descending the stairs into John's former abode, Kerry found her thoughts turning to another enclosed storage space, the storeroom at County where she'd first seen John naked, in Luka's company. She had to smile at the thought of how one impulse of Abby's part, half angry and half whimsical, had launched the four of them on a whirlwind ride of sexual self-discovery. That ride, initially lighthearted, had affected them all more deeply than any could have foreseen, and yet she felt stronger for it all.

Sensing that ride was nearing a conclusion - or maybe just a change of course - Kerry wondered if some similar event would help them all resolve things. There was that moment when they were all locked in together, just before Frank blundered in and set them free, when it looked like a huge four-way free-for-all was imminent. If only she could go back in time and recreate that moment...

Then, like the Grinch, Kerry got an idea. A wonderful, awful idea.

Oh, don't do this, she told herself. It's too evil. It's such a dirty trick to pull.

But it would be so easy, and soooo much fun...

Kerry dashed upstairs and picked up the phone, flipping through her address book until she found Whit Jefferson's number. She was halfway through dialing it before it occurred to her that it was the middle of the night. He and Roshana and their children would all be fast asleep.

Hanging up, she penned herself a quick note to call him in the morning. He'd done such a great job rigging her stereo so that her remote would activate it from any room in the house that she had no doubt he could do what she had in mind. Maybe she wouldn't do it after all, depending on how dinner with the other three went, but she liked the thought of having the option.

And, if things went the right way, well...who knew when history might repeat itself?

The unexpected ringing of her telephone made Kerry jump and she snatched it up quickly. "Hello?"

"Kerry, it's Luka."

"Hi, there," Kerry said, the tension now gone from her voice. "What's up?"

"I spoke with John and he's willing to meet at your house. Just the four of us, for dinner and a discussion. Just say when and he'll be there."

"He agreed just like that?" Kerry asked. It wasn't that she doubted Luka. His voice sounded happy enough about the news. But it wasn't like John to give in so quickly and Kerry had been sure that he would need to be talked into the meeting.

"Just like that," Luka agreed. "So, find a date on your calendar and mark us all in."

"I'll have to check the schedules, but I have copies of them here. I can let everyone know in the morning when to be here."

"That's great. Sleep well, Kerry."

"You, too, Luka. And the same for Abby." Kerry hung up the phone and stood there, slightly shocked. She had been so sure...and yet Luka said John had agreed. John was always going to surprise her, she thought.

A grin broke out on Kerry's face. In the morning, she would call Whit, then look over the work schedules and her calendar. One thing was definitely for sure -- if she had thought waiting for their 'foursome' had been difficult, she knew that waiting for this dinner would be exquisite torture.


To be continued

And so here we are at last, John thought to himself. All together around the table. All in our places, with bright, shining faces.

Luka Kovac sat to his left, Abby Lockhart to his right, and Kerry Weaver across from him. It reminded him briefly of a dinner he and Kerry had shared with Peter Benton and Lucy Knight. That had been a strange, slightly awkward affair; none of them had known quite what to talk about with each other once they were outside the work environment. That was typical of his relationship with Benton, only communicating in fits and starts, and things hadn't been much better with Lucy. And now Lucy was dead, and any hope of reaching the kind of equilibrium with her that he'd reached with Benton was lost forever.

John closed off that line of thought. It had nearly led him to destruction once. Never again, he vowed.

Kerry had cooked a full meal tonight, as then, and probably had an easier time of it without his help. Had she been relieved at the lack of distraction, he wondered? Or did she miss his company as much as he wished she did?

Everyone complimented her on the dinner, but the conversation level was otherwise low. They'd been trying to come together for so long, on and off, and now that they were all here, no one knew how to get into it.

The lightest moment, surprisingly, came from Kerry as she told them about a patient she'd treated the day before, an elderly woman who had eyed her with curiosity all afternoon until she overheard someone call Kerry by her first name. "I knew it!" the woman had said, her face lighting up. "I remember you from the Olympics, and how brave you were! Pity it never healed entirely, but you clearly made the best of it, becoming a doctor." Kerry had puzzled over that one for an hour before realizing that, with her high voice, red hair and limp, the old woman thought she was Kerri Strugg. That made everyone laugh and groan.

When they were finished, Kerry cleared the table with Abby's help. John had the urge to help as well, but somehow he sensed that Kerry would rather he didn't. The distance between them still made such casual proximity too awkward.

When the women returned, Abby carried a tray of four coffee mugs. When she handed them around, however, John's nose caught the scent of cocoa rather than coffee. It was a pleasure he recalled from some winter evenings when he and Kerry were both home together; no one made cocoa quite like Kerry.

Abby remained standing after Kerry sat down, and everyone focused their attention on the nurse. "Hello, my name is Abby," she said, "and I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi, Abby," John said automatically.

"Oh, wait, that meeting's on Monday night," she added, rolling her eyes goofily. It was a weak joke, but the ice was broken. Everyone felt the tension fade somewhat.

Abby sat down on the other side of Kerry, and the anxious woman found herself flanked by strength with Luka on one side and Abby on the other. John sat in a nearby chair, but within easy reach of Luka.

"The cocoa's as good as I remember," John said after taking a tentative sip of the hot liquid.

"Yes, Kerry does have a way with cocoa, doesn't she?" Abby asked, a grin on her face, and John was slightly surprised to see a blush grow on Kerry's cheeks. The two woman had shared a bed, that much he knew, but he wondered how in the world something as simple as cocoa could be involved in *that*.

"Thank you," Kerry said. She took a deep breath and looked over at John. "The reason I asked Luka to invite you here is..."

"You what?" John interrupted, casting a puzzled glance in Luka's direction. "I asked Luka to see if we could get together to talk."

Luka cleared his throat and did his best to avoid both stares. "Does it really matter who thought of meeting like this? The important thing is that we're all here and the two of you need to talk and get your feelings out in the open. We all know how you feel, John. So, I think we should let Kerry continue."

"Agreed," John said, his gaze once more shifting to the woman he loved. He wanted so much to tell her that he was willing to have a relationship on her terms -- no matter what those terms might be. But he knew that she wanted to talk, and it was only right that he listen to what Kerry had to say.

"Thank you," Kerry once more repeated. She nervously licked her lips and her hands reached out automatically, seeking support. Abby and Luka each grasped a hand, cradling Kerry's hands within their own; knowing how difficult this admission was going to be for her. "I lied to you, John. I shouldn't have, but I did. And I was lying to myself as well."

John's brow furrowed as he tried to figure out just what Kerry meant and he looked at her questioningly, even as Luka's hand tightly grasped his, lending him the same strength he was lending to Kerry.

"I do love you," Kerry admitted, her soft voice clouded with tears waiting to be shed. "I've always loved you."

John felt something deep inside him, the same feeling he'd experienced the first morning in Atlanta, after the longest, darkest night he'd ever lived through. The feeling when the sun rose again.

"I love you all," Kerry added, looking at her other two guests. "But the fact of the matter is that I am still your supervisor. I am the Chief of Emergency Medicine, and I am responsible first and foremost for the operation of the Emergency Room. That means that tomorrow, or the next day, at any hour, I may have to issue orders or make decisions that will hurt you. And if I have to choose between my professional responsibilities and my personal feelings, you all know what I'm going to choose."

No one contradicted her. They all remembered occasions that supported her point.

"I have lost many friends because of the hard choices I've had to make," Kerry continued. "Many of them even before we became friends. I cut them off before they had the chance. In each case, I believe I did the right thing, and I know I will make similar choices again in the future." She sniffled. "I can accept the animosity of almost anyone, if that's the price I have to pay to do my job. But I can't take that chance with someone I'm in love with. Not after Kim, and especially not after Michael."

John knew about Kim Legaspi, if only in general terms, but he'd never heard the other name.

"Who is Michael?" Luka asked softly, beating him to the punch.

The redheaded woman took in a deep breath before replying. "My husband."

John blinked his mind shocked at that revelation. "Husband? You're married?"

"Was," Kerry corrected. "I was married. It was a long time ago."

"But you've never said anything..." Abby said and the others nodded. "Not that I can blame you --- if it were a bad marriage, that is."

Kerry pulled her hands free of Abby and Luka's, as though the memories were too dangerous to share while being touched. "Michael was the first man I thought I loved, and who claimed to love me. I had, um, kind of a reputation in high school, one that followed me into college even though I didn't do that sort of thing anymore." She scowled. "They used to call me 'Weaver the Blowjob Queen'."

The others all shifted slightly, all remembering how good Kerry's mouth had made them feel. The pleasure of the memories felt a little guilty at the moment.

"Michael worked long and hard to convince me that he wasn't just after me for my...favors. He wanted to know me, and to make love to me. I thought I'd finally found the pot of gold at the rainbow's end."

"The what?" Luka said, mildly puzzled.

"Tell you later," Abby replied, motioning to let her continue.

Kerry took a gulp of her cocoa and went on. "I didn't know until too late that Michael only loved things he couldn't have. It was like a challenge to him; the more unreachable something was, the more he wanted it. Once he got it, he'd conquered it, and it was always anti-climatic. If you could be conquered, he lost all respect for you, even became contemptuous. You weren't worth his time anymore."

"And that's how he treated you?" John said softly, already hating this man.

She nodded. "But he couldn't just divorce me, that would be like admitting he was wrong. He just held onto me, always a little less satisfied, always a little more disappointed in me. And he was an expert in making me think it was my fault." She sniffled. "Like he'd shown faith in me and I hadn't lived up to it, as a wife or as a lover or as a person."

Abby bowed her head, maybe thinking of her own ex-husband.

"He made me...do things to prove my love for him," Kerry continued. "Sometimes little, unimportant things, other times..." She let that thought trail off. "But every day, every fucking day, no matter how horrible it had been between us...he said he loved me. As much as I knew he really hated me, and made me almost hate myself, he kept saying it. I love you, I love you, I love you..." There was a bitter twist to her voice. "And he wouldn't leave me alone until I said it back to him. Every time."

Abby looked like she wanted to put a hand on Kerry's shoulder, but Kerry moved a little, just enough to signify wanting to maintain her space.

"Is that why you insisted you didn't love me?" John asked, his voice barely above a whisper. And had he hurt her, he wondered, by declaring his love for her?

She nodded. "I've never been able to say it to anyone since," she told him, angrily rubbing tears out of her eyes. "And that's why I'm so afraid, John. I know...how you feel about me, how you almost seem to idolize me sometimes, and that's what frightens me most. I love being with you, but I can't stand the thought that one day you'll wake up and hate me."

John wanted to ball his fists in anger at this Michael bastard, but Luka s grip on his hand reminded him where he was and who he was talking to. "Kerry..." he said carefully, putting as much tenderness into his voice as he could, "I've already hated you."

Three heads snapped around in shock.

"Yeah," he said with a nod. "I hated you for embarrassing me on the video of the first trauma I ran. I hated you for making me redo my internship when I switched from surgery. I hated you for making me move out of your house, and I really hated you for confronting me about the drugs and banishing me to Atlanta. You, too," he added with a look at Abby.

Kerry closed her eyes.

"I've hated you frequently, sometimes on a daily basis," John went on, "in all the same ways I've hated Peter Benton through the years I've known him. For all the ways you both pushed me or rejected me or..."

"John," Abby interrupted quietly, "I thought Peter was one of your closest friends."

"Not a close friend," John corrected her, "but certainly one of the best."

"That doesn't make any..."

"No, I know what he means," Luka put in softly. "There's a difference."

"But my point is," John said, feeling things starting to wander off-topic, "that what I thought was hatred, on the surface, was really something else. The hate never lasted, because it was just the shadow of how I really felt."

"You loved him," Luka clarified.

He nodded. "The same way, or some of the same ways, that I love you, Kerry. You made me work harder and learn more, you looked out for me instead of indulging me, and you made me face what was happening to me."

"John...I'd do that for anyone."

"I know. And I love you for that, too. That you take care of people you don't like with the same dedication you show your friends."

"Okay, see, this is what I mean about idolizing me..."

"Kerry," John interrupted, "I've known you longer than anyone here. I've worked and lived with you, so believe me, I know exactly what a ruthless, short-tempered, umm..." He floundered for words.

"Crabby," Abby supplied.

"Snappish," Luka put in.

"Insecure," Abby added.

"Hey, hey, no prompting from the studio audience," Kerry told them, the familiar Weaver gruffness mixing with mild amusement.

"Bitch you can be," John finished. "I know all your worst points, Kerry Weaver, things that would send most people screaming into the night. And I love you for all of those, too, the way you can only really love someone when you know how hard life with them can be."

Kerry took Abby and Luka's hands again, squeezing them warmly, and they squeezed John's in response. The relayed pulse flowed so smoothly that he could almost imagine that he was alone with Kerry, holding her hands directly.

"I love you for being honest and compassionate and sexy," he pressed on, dead serious now, "but more than that, I love you for all the times you slapped my hand when I wanted you to hold it." He smiled that magical smile they all adored. "That's why I'll always love you, no matter how you may feel about me. Because sometimes the greatest act of love is to give someone what they need, instead of what they want."

Kerry's eyes, shining with tears, were riveted onto his.

"Add to that how I feel about you as a woman, and, well..." he finished, somewhat lamely.

Kerry chuckled. "I know all too well how you feel about me as woman. How *all* of you feel about me as a woman. And I can easily say that I feel the same way about you. About all of you. You've each made me feel special in your own unique ways, and I wouldn't trade that for anything."

"Me, either," John said, his gaze going from person to person. "I know I was a little abrupt when I broke things off with everyone and backed out of the...out of the night we had planned to spend together. I reacted out of hurt feelings, not really seeing that what each of you offered was something I needed." John's gaze stopped at Kerry. "I was coming here tonight to tell you that I wanted to be with you, even though you didn't love me in the same way I loved you." He looked at Abby, then at Luka. "I wanted to tell all of you that. I wish I could turn back time a bit, to that night..."

Abby walked over to John and lightly touched his cheek. "I think we all wish that, John." She, for one, knew she still wanted to be with John, Kerry and Luka. Together and separate, and separately together.

They all looked at each other, all wanting the same thing, but not knowing how to change gears.

"Luka," Kerry said, "how do you say 'Kiss me, you fool' in Croatian?"

"Like this." He tilted her chin up and kissed her lips softly.

John watched her slip her arms about his waist and return the kiss, feeling an odd warmth where he'd thought he might feel jealousy. The thought of Kerry kissing another man would normally hurt, but not with Luka. He was close to them both, so it felt all right. Better than all right.

He looked up at Abby to see how she felt about it, but she was looking at him, too. Getting to his feet, John stared deep into her eyes, guiding her face to his and kissing her with a depth of feeling that surprised him. Though he'd once blamed her for Mark and Kerry's discovery of his addiction, she'd become closer than his own sister to him. He thought, sometimes, that in another reality, she might have been the one...

Luka's gentle hands on their shoulder prompted them to end the kiss, and they parted. He looked like a dancer cutting in, but turned not to Abby but to John, taking the younger man in his arms. Not for the first time, John thought how much he looked like the way John had often imagined Bobby would look by now, if he'd lived. He opened his lips and they met Luka's.

As had happened each and every other time that the two men had kissed, passion flared between them. John could taste the cocoa on Luka's lips and he parted his own lips to give Luka a chance to taste the cocoa in his mouth. It was an invitation that Luka didn't decline. An invitation that Luka had never declined, and that knowledge thrilled John. Despite the fact that Luka knew he loved Kerry, and had just watched him kiss Abby while he himself was kissing Kerry -- Luka still wanted him. Luka, like Abby and Kerry, didn't look at John and find him lacking. And that alone spurred John's arousal to the next level.

They pulled apart, John's pulse and breathing accelerating with his growing arousal, and turned to see how the women were enjoying the sight of the two men kissing.

The women, however, weren't watching them, but enjoying a deep, passionate kiss of their own. John saw Abby's arms encircling Kerry's back, one hand clutching at her shoulder blade, the other sliding down to caress her hip. Kerry's hand was on Abby's breast, the fingers of the other one twining through brown hair as they cupped the back of her skull. Their lips moved wetly over each other's, creating a seal around open mouths.

John felt his erection; already hard from kissing Abby and Luka, double in stiffness at the sight of the two women he loved loving each other. He knew that Abby and Kerry had slept together in the past, but this was the first time he'd seen them together in a sexual situation. The thought had excited him in the abstract, but the sight of the real thing threatened to make him explode.

Luka stepped in, cutting in once again, and Abby peeled easily away from Kerry, looking flushed and hungry, and turned her attention on the tall man. She kissed him with the kind of zeal that usually follows the words, 'I now pronounce you...' Luka's arms pulled her in tight to him, lifting her off the floor. John couldn't help but feel that they looked right together.

Then he turned to Kerry and she to him, and the world seemed to stop for a moment.

Their eyes met, and if he hadn't been in love with her before, he would have fallen at this moment. Even so, he felt himself falling all over again. Luka Kovac and Abby Lockhart both had a place in his heart, but Kerry Weaver had captured that heart altogether.

He put his arms around her, like a delicate flower, and she put her hand on his cheek, drawing him down to her, and they kissed. It wasn't the same kind of raw passion that either of them had felt while kissing Abby and Luka, or even the kind they had experienced with each other in the past. This was something that went beyond sex, beyond intimacy or romance, into a realm that he'd often imagined but only recently discovered. Their lips parted with a grace that was almost poetic.

"John..." Kerry said, almost in a whisper.

He waited without speaking for her next words, whatever they might be.

"Did you ever get the feeling," she asked, "that you were being...watched?"

They turned their heads, almost self-consciously, and sure enough, Abby and Luka were watching them, all smiles, their own kiss ended.

For one of the rare times in her life, Kerry blushed.

John smiled at his lovers, then scooped Kerry up into his arms, a shiver running down his spine as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Follow me upstairs," he said. Then John turned and carefully headed up the stairs, not wanting to drop his precious cargo.

By the time he gently eased Kerry onto the bed, Luka and Abby were at the doorway, and they quietly, yet quickly, joined John on the bed with Kerry.

There was another awkward moment as they sat there looking at each other. The look of love that Abby could see in Kerry and John's eyes touched her, and she had the satisfaction of knowing that her lovers had closed one chapter in their lives and were now starting a new one. "I love you," Abby said. "All of you. And no matter what happens after tonight, I'll never forget this."

There were murmurs of agreement from her bedmates and then Abby grinned. "But, I must say that I can't wait to watch you make love to Kerry," she said to John.

John felt his cheeks redden and he looked into Kerry's eyes. "Not as much as I can't wait to make love to her," he softly said as he leaned in to once more tenderly kiss her. But Kerry wasn't after tender right then. Passion flared between them and John could feel Kerry's hands, and then others, pulling at his clothes until he was naked. And those other hands had been helpful to him as well as they had helped Kerry disrobe.

"Well, far be it from me to disappoint Abby," John said as he traced a path over Kerry's belly with his finger. "What do you say, Kerry? Shall we give Abby what she wants?"

Kerry relaxed against the covers, her hands resting on John's shoulders as his tongue replaced his finger upon her skin. "We most definitely should give Abby what she wants," Kerry said.

Abby reached out toward Luka, resting in his embrace on one side of the bed as they watched John start his oral and manual assault upon Kerry's body, each of them remembering just how good it was to feel John's tongue and fingers upon their bodies, and how good it was to love Kerry. And yet, as much as Abby had wanted to see this happen, now that it was, she didn't feel quite right watching it.

She twisted her head around to look up into Luka's eyes. "Luka..." she whispered.

He slowly smiled, then nodded. "I know," he whispered back as he softly kissed her lips. Then he got out of the bed, extending one hand to help her get to her feet. Even though they moved as quietly as possible while leaving the room, they knew it didn't matter -- John and Kerry were too caught up with each other to notice their absence.

Once downstairs, the pair sat on the sofa, still holding onto each other.

"It really happened, Luka. Kerry admitted that she loved him." Abby couldn't keep the sound of glee out of her voice.

Luka chuckled and the sound of it was deep as Abby listened to it through his chest. His hands combed out her hair as he replied. "She did. I just hope that this is the beginning of something good for them."

"It *has* to be, Luka. It just has to be. Being in denial of her true feelings was the main thing holding Kerry back from giving all of herself to him. And now that barrier is gone."

"True," Luka admitted. "But what of the others? She is his supervisor, after all. Our supervisor."

"Speak for yourself, doc. She's not mine," Abby reminded him. "We'll find a way around work, Luka. We just have to."

Luka smiled. "And who is this *we* that you're talking about? The last I saw, there were only two people on that bed upstairs."

Abby slowly grinned. "Right now that might be true. But it will change."

"Determined, aren't you?"

Abby moved her hand slightly so that she could cup his erection through his pants. "It's an idea that you still like, Luka."

"Yes," he admitted. "But the world won't come to an end if I don't get it."

"Well, mine won't either," Abby said, half-pouting. "But it would be great, wouldn't it? They can have this time together and then we'll all have our time together. You want it, I want it, Kerry wants it, and John wants it. How can it not happen now?"

Luka rested his chin lightly on top of her head. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," he said. "They'll always be our friends, but if they don't want us or need us sexually anymore, then we should respect that, too."

"You're right," Abby admitted. They were quiet for a bit, listening to the moans coming from upstairs. Then she spoke again. "Do you think we should try someone else?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, who else could we have sex with? Maybe another couple?"

He grunted noncommittally. "Maybe. Who did you have in mind?"

"I don't know...maybe Mark Greene and Elizabeth Corday?" Even as she said it, the possibility didn't excite her much. "Or Peter Benton and Cleo Finch?"

"Hmmm," he muttered, and she could tell neither of those couples aroused him, either. "You think any of them would be interested?"

"I don't know, I'm just wondering how we'd feel about it."

"For myself, I'm not very interested in sex with any of them," Luka said. "In fact, I can't think of anyone I'd want us to have sex with, except..."

"John and Kerry," she finished for him, feeling the same. "They'll always be special to us."

He looked down at her with a smile. "That's true," he said.

They began to undress each other, as if by unspoken agreement that they were ready.

"I've got a thought about that," Abby replied, once they were naked. "Maybe they can help us out even when we're alone." She ran a hand down his chest, playing lightly with his chest hairs, then took his erection in her hand. "Close your eyes."

He did.

"Now...which one of them are you with?"

"John..." he sighed.

She smiled, approving. "What is he doing to you?"

"He's...stroking me...slowly..."

Abby moved her hand, following his words.

"He's kissing my chest..."

She did that, too.

"God, it feels so good," he moaned, and then she felt his hand between her legs. "What is Kerry doing to you?"

Without stopping what she was doing to Luka, Abby spread her knees, letting his fingers slide inside her. "She's penetrating me with her fingers...her thumb is on my clit...yes, there..."

They could both feel it growing inside them.

"Her other hand is on my breast, stroking the nipple...God, Kerry...her hands are so talented..."

"John is on top of me. Kissing me..."

Abby straddled his hips, kissing him deeply. There was a wonderful perversity to it, making love to each other while each imagining a lover of the same sex. She rocked back, guiding him into her, and engulfed his length, sitting upright. His hips began to buck up at her, meeting her in rhythm, and his hands cupped her breasts, kneading them.

"Now, open your eyes," she said.

He did, drinking in the sight of his lover atop him. "Abby," he gasped. "You're so beautiful..."

She contracted deliciously around him at these words, feeling the heat spread through her. Then she smiled and said something that surprised them both.

"Call me Kerry..."


*********************


Kerry softly moaned as velvet lips left her breasts to settle upon her belly. She reached out with her hands, desperate to touch any part of John that she could reach. His hair -- she found his hair and ran her fingers through it, grasping the strands as if they were her lifelines. Maybe they were, she thought. Maybe John is my lifeline.

Her thoughts were interrupted when those lips moved further down her body, settling at the core of her being. Her legs instinctively spread open for him, giving him all the access he wanted and needed. "John..." she breathed as her toes began to tingle. God, but every place where John touched her tingled. His fingers of one hand were stroking her breast, and the fingers of his other hand...Lord what those talented fingers could do.

Kerry's back arched as John found the perfect spot, the perfect rhythm. She could feel her muscles tense as her orgasm neared and she had his name on the tip of her tongue, ready to call it out when he brought her to completion. And she did call it out, but it wasn't with satisfaction, it was with frustration because the man had stopped what he was doing. "John!" Kerry gasped, but her indignation was met by soft laughter.

"You're beautiful when you're about to come, Kerry," he said.

Kerry raised her head and looked down her body to see John's smiling face looking up at her. She was quick to notice that his eyes weren't smiling. They were dark with desire. A desire that he felt for her. Kerry slowly shook her head as she remembered how she had wanted to throw this away. Thank God for Abby and Luka, she thought, and then she said it.

"I agree. Speaking of which, they seem to have disappeared," John said.

"We'll find them later, don't worry." Kerry let her head fall back upon her pillow and she smiled up at the ceiling. "You can finish what you started."

"Oh?" John chuckled again. "Is that an order?"

"Does it have to be?" Kerry couldn't keep the smile out of her voice.

"No. It doesn't have to be."

Kerry's hands searched out something -- anything, to hold onto while John brought her once more to the brink of release, and this time let her cross.

Lying back on the bed, her conscious mind spiraling from orgasmic heights back down to the Here and Now, Kerry gazed at the man who'd satisfied her so expertly. "You make me want to surrender myself," she whispered.

"I'd never ask you to do that, Kerry," he replied, quietly and seriously. "I don't want you to give up anything that makes you who you are. I just want you to share it with me."

"So you don't want me to stop being your boss?" she inquired coyly.

He smiled. "You can boss me around anytime."

She almost melted and gave herself to him completely then, abandoning the plot she'd been hatching. But no, she told herself, see it through. He's just given you an opening. "Okay," she said, sitting up. "Let's go downstairs before our guests start feeling neglected."

From his face, she could tell that he'd noticed how she said 'our guests' instead of 'my guests.' She'd come to consider her home John's home, too. That meant more to him than anything.

He reached for their clothes, but she slapped his hand lightly and said, "No. We've all seen each other without clothes plenty of times, and there's no point putting them on. We'd just have to take them off again later."

"Kerry Weaver," John said, scooping her up in his arms again, "I like the way you think."

Wait a while, she thought, and see if you still feel that way.


*********************


Abby had only experienced a small, almost preliminary orgasm, and they were moving slowly, working up to the big one they'd share. But she paused as John and Kerry entered the living room again.

"Please," Kerry said, "don't stop on our account."

Suddenly and inexplicably self-conscious about having sex in front of them, she laughed and slid off of Luka. He didn't look upset, just resigned to prolonging the wait a bit. "Are you two...?" She didn't know how to finish the question.

"We're fine," John said, setting Kerry down where she'd left her crutch. He loved holding her, but the slight ache in the small of his back, near his wound, told him to ease up. "We wanted to make sure you two weren't feeling left out of things."

"Oh, don't give us a thought," Luka assured them.

There was a pause as the four naked people waited to see what would happen next, all conscious of their collective presence.

"Actually," Kerry spoke up, "I did have something else planned for the evening."

"Oh?" John looked at her questioningly, along with Abby and Luka.

"Yes," she said, "but it's a surprise."

"Life with you is full of surprises," he commented, kissing her neck.

The feel of those lips in that spot, again, nearly made her forget her plans, but she forged ahead with an iron will. "All in good time, John," she said, a little hoarsely. "Luka, did John tell you about living in my basement apartment?"

"I think so," the tall man replied.

"Oh, the famous basement," Abby said with a twinkle in her eye. "I always wanted to see it. John made it sound better than the Batcave."

"Why don't you show it to Luka," Kerry told John, "while I prepare the surprise?"

"Sure." John looked at Abby and Luka. "It's right through here. Man, the memories this place holds..."

They got up to follow him, Abby looking curious, but Luka showing little more than polite interest. Having lived in some odd places himself, including a boat, he didn't expect anything terribly unusual, but he knew it was an important part of John's past, and that John wanted to share it with them.

As the men walked through the doorway to the basement, Abby felt Kerry take her arm and draw her aside, holding her back. She glanced curiously at the redheaded woman, who held a silent finger to her lips...

"This is cozy," Luka said, looking around the place where John Carter had lived for a few precious months.

"Apparently Kerry's fixed the heat," John said with a smile, "or we'd be pretty cold with no clothes on. Kerry, I thought you said no one else had lived here since me?"

There was no answer.

"Kerry?" He looked around, realizing suddenly that Kerry and Abby hadn't accompanied them down the stairs.

"Ready for your surprise, John?" Her voice came from the door at the top of the stairs.

The two men looked up at her, silhouetted in the doorway. "Huh?" John asked, confused.

"See you in the morning, boys," Kerry said with a wicked smile. "Good night...and surprise."

The door closed firmly, and there was the sound of locks turning.

"Kerry, wait!" Luka, reacting first, dashed up the stairs and yanked futilely at the knob. It didn't turn an inch. "She locked us in," he said in disbelief.

"You're kidding," John replied helplessly, his jaw dropping.

Luka pounded on the door. "I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" he yelled. "THEY DID IT AGAIN!!"


*********************


"What the hell are you doing?" Abby asked Kerry, who seemed to be almost cackling to herself.

"Just borrowing a page from your book," Kerry replied, smiling at her.

"Well, yeah, but..." Abby spluttered, "but I locked them in because they were arguing over me! Not when we were all getting along!"

"Yes, but remember what they ended up doing?" Kerry reminded her.

"How could I forget?"

Kerry limped past her, to take something out of a cupboard. "So, don't you wish you could have watched?"

Abby decided not to mention that she'd already seen John and Luka having sex. "How would I watch if they're locked in down there?"

"Leave that to me," Kerry assured her, putting the packet in her microwave oven and turning it on.

Abby was torn by curiosity, but the pounding on the door behind her was tough to ignore. She turned to unlock the door, but couldn't; it was a key-operated deadbolt, obviously installed just recently. "Kerry, where's the key?"

Kerry held it up mischievously.

"Give it here. Come on."

Abby reached for it, but Kerry held it away from her. "No."

"Kerry, I'm serious!" Abby made a grab for it, aware that she was starting to smile childishly at the game of Keep-Away.

"So am I!" Kerry's voice held a hint of laughter.

Abby made a little jump and grabbed the wrist of the hand with the key. "Kerry, it's not fair to them to--!"

"Abby," Kerry said, suddenly nose-to-nose with Abby and turning serious. "You owe me, remember?"

She recalled their bet, and the conditions of Kerry's victory. "*Now...?!*"

"Just go along with me on this," Kerry told her soberly, "and I'll call us even. All right?"

Abby sighed. Put that way, she supposed she couldn't really argue. "Are they all right in there?"

"See for yourself," Kerry told her. "Come on." She took Abby's hand and led her once more to the bedroom. Settling again on the bed, Kerry picked up a remote control and turned on the television set resting opposite the bed.

Abby sat down beside her as a picture formed of Kerry's basement. John sat, resignedly, on the bed he'd once slept in, talking to someone off-camera, presumably Luka. "Kerry," Abby said, "did you wire your basement?!"

"I called a former tenant," she replied. "Guy named Whit Jefferson, used to live down there about a year before John moved in. He learned electronics in the Navy, and he rigged up my stereo for me. He still owed me a favor or two, so he installed the video camera."

Abby was beginning to wonder just how many people in this world owed Kerry Weaver. "Jesus, Kerry, this is a bit much, don't you think?"

"Look," Kerry said, taking Abby's chin and turning the nurse's head to face her, "I love you all..."

"And we love you, Kerry," Abby interjected. "But..."

"...but I don't want any of you to ever forget which of us is the Evil Queen Bitch of the ER. Okay?" Kerry settled back on a pillow with a smile. "Relax and enjoy the show, Abby. I'm recording this, and I'll make you a copy if you like."

Before Abby could reply, there was a *ding* from the kitchen microwave.

"Ooh, the popcorn!" Kerry popped up from the bed with glee, and the Evil Queen Bitch of the ER went to fetch the popcorn.

Abby rolled her eyes and sighed. She loved a good practical joke as much as anyone and teasing Luka could be great fun. But pulling this on poor John, right after he'd bared his soul to Kerry Weaver, just when he was in a vulnerable place to begin with...it bordered on cruel. Didn't Kerry have any sensitivity at all?

Spotting the key on the bedside table, she plucked it up and was about to go release the captive men anyway, when she glanced at the monitor.

John was looking straight at her. Or, more accurately, at the camera. Of course he'd know every inch of that place, and he'd spot an extra electronic device in the ceiling corner. Would he be angry? Or hurt?

Then he smiled. And he winked.

But when Luka came and sat dejectedly next to him on the bed, he didn't point out the camera to the other man.

"Abby, listen..." Kerry stood in the bedroom doorway, still naked except for the crutch, and carrying a bowl of popcorn in her hand. The scent of butter and salt tickled Abby's nostrils. "If you really don't feel right about this, then go ahead and let them out. I can go too far sometimes, I realize."

Abby looked at Kerry, and then back at the television, where Luka and John appeared to be consoling each other. And from there, perhaps doing other things to each other...

"Well," she admitted, "I guess I should have some popcorn before I let them out, or John will just hog it all."

"Right. He's got quite an appetite for someone so slim." They sat on the bed again, the bowl in Kerry's lap.

Abby pinched some, then popped it in her mouth. "Okay, well, see, now it would just be rude to interrupt them while they're doing *that*," she said.

"Uh-huh," Kerry mumbled around a mouthful, her eyes riveted to the screen.

The nurse scooted closer and put her arm around Kerry's bare shoulders and the older woman snuggled against her without looking away from the screen.

Abby and Kerry watched, fascinated, as the men they loved enjoyed each other on the television screen. It reminded Abby of some evenings she'd spent with other female friends, watching rented movies and trading silly remarks and sarcastic asides. The fact that this one was occurring live, in real time, and that she and her friend were both naked, made this much more exciting, of course.

"Now, personally, I'd think that would hurt," she said, watching the action on screen intently.

"Don't knock it if you haven't tried it," Kerry replied absently.

"I've tried it, but not like that..."

Kerry mumbled something inarticulate, her attention clearly occupied.

Both women tilted their heads to the same side. "Can we pan left?" Abby asked, reaching for more popcorn from the bowl in Kerry's lap.

"No, it's a fixed camera. More's the pity."

"Move over, Luka, you dummy! Move-- Oh, whoa!" Both women jumped involuntarily.

"No, it's okay," Kerry said breathlessly. "They're both all right, and -- ohhh..." She trailed off, her pale skin flushed at the sight before them now.

"Wish we could have an instant replay on that," Abby muttered.

Kerry just watched, spellbound. Unlike Abby, she hadn't seen the men having sex for more than a few moments, until now.

They fell silent again, and Abby thought she could hear Luka's moaning, very far away. It didn't seem to be from the television; Kerry's friend hadn't rigged the basement for sound, just picture. More's the pity, indeed, she thought. "Can you hear that?" she asked.

"Mmm-hmm. It's from the vent," Kerry told her absently, nodding toward a grille at the base of the wall.

"Oh." Abby grinned. "Wonder if John knows about that, too..." It wasn't until the words had left her lips that she remembered that Kerry wasn't aware that John knew about the camera. Luckily for her, Kerry wasn't paying too much attention to what she had just said.

The popcorn bowl had been set aside, and Kerry's hand had come to rest on Abby's thigh, absently stroking it as the action unfolded onscreen. Now, her hand slid slowly up to the junction of Abby's legs, fingers softly probing. Abby's own hands roamed over Kerry's shoulders and chest, along the upper swell of her breasts. All their humorous commentary was forgotten in the heat of the moment, and they made no sounds other than deep, heavy breathing.

Abby looked at Kerry's profile, seeing the soft rapture that no one at work ever saw. Her attention was divided between the men on the screen and the woman in her arms. Such distraction was driving her crazy. "Kerry," she breathed.

"Hmmm...?"

"You said you were videotaping this, right?"

"Uh-huh. Long-playing tape."

Abby reached a decision. "We'll rewind later," she declared, and rolled over to kiss Kerry full on the mouth.

Kerry's lips parted under hers, welcoming her soft tongue, and she embraced Abby, sliding down to lie prone.


*********************


Uniting with Kerry had been a wonderful experience for John, and, if not for the fact that other people had been in the house he would have found it easy to roll over in Kerry's bed and fall into a deep and sated sleep. But Abby and Luka had been there, and now he was with Luka -- and quite unable to do anything *for* Luka in that regard. But he was able to do quite a lot of other things for Luka and it hadn't taken John long to get Luka's mind off the fact that the women had locked them in the basement.

As John brushed his lips once more down Luka's length, he noted how thoughtful Kerry had been in setting up her little *studio* of sorts. The basement was warmer than ever before, so she had found another way to get heat into it, thankfully. Condoms were in the top drawer of the nightstand, as was a tube of lubricant. The flannel sheets were freshly laundered and smelled of artificial sunshine from the dryer sheets that Kerry regularly used. No static cling for the two of them, John thought with a smile. There were even towels by the bed, to make cleanup a little easier. John had done all he could to reward Kerry's thoughtfulness by keeping as many interesting views oriented toward the camera as possible without alerting Luka to the fact that they were being watched. Was it possible that they were even being taped? That idea sent a shiver through John's body, and he moved slightly to his left as he went down on Luka, hoping that Kerry and Abby were getting an eyeful.

Of course, moving to accommodate the camera had made for some humorous moments, John reflected, such as when Luka nearly fell off the bed while trying to make sure that his cock remained in John's moving mouth. But Luka had stayed on the bed and his cock had stayed in John's mouth, so everything had turned out okay with that. As Luka's body began to react to his ministrations, John eased up. He didn't want Luka coming yet as there were still a lot of things he could do to please the man...and the women.

"John?" Luka's voice was almost a whine and John wondered if audio was a part of the evening. "Don't stop. I'm so close..."

"I know." John ran his tongue down Luka's thigh, then back up again to lathe his balls. "But I don't want you to come yet, Luka. I promise you that you won't be disappointed when you *do* come, so have patience with me, okay?" John slowly sucked a testicle into his mouth and he heard Luka groan.

"I'll try, but you make it so damn hard, John Carter," Luka replied, his voice strained.

Grinning around the treat in his mouth, John slowly nodded, careful not to jar Luka's body too much.


*****************************************


Abby kissed Kerry's face and neck, inching down her body, hungrily devouring her skin. Every detail of the older woman's body, every small imperfection, just made her more real and more desirable to Abby. This woman, resented daily by so many people, was beautiful to her.

She licked the inner curve of Kerry's breasts, cupping them in her hands, bringing first one nipple, then the other, to her mouth. Sucking at the erect peaks, relishing their taste and texture. Kerry's hands were in her hair, pulling her tighter, pushing her downward.

We're back where we started, all those weeks ago, Abby thought. Picking up where we left off. And this time, no thoughts of John and Luka, sealed in with each other, interrupted her.

Bringing her mouth to Kerry's sex, she inhaled the private scent, kissing and licking the familiar surfaces, knowing how each spot would react to her touch. Kerry moaned sharply as her lips brushed over Kerry's clitoris, then enfolded it. Her fingers penetrated Kerry's folds easily, working in tandem with her tongue.

"Abby..." Kerry sighed, "Oh god, Abby...yes, please..." Her thighs writhed and trembled on either side of Abby's head, and Abby could tell she was very close to orgasm.

Deliberately slowing her pace, she exaggerated each small movement, each touch, making the most of each sensation. Softness, moisture, scent, all combining in a remarkably sensual experience, for her as much as for Kerry. Making love to the redheaded woman while she was bound and blindfolded had been fun, but Abby wanted Kerry to know who was doing it to her, now. She wanted Kerry to see her and touch her and cry out her name.

Hearing another faint moan, this one from John, Abby recalled how recently he had been right where Abby was now. That thought, and the faint aftertaste of him she had been half-imagining, almost drove her wild with desire, and she transferred that wildness directly into her sweet assault on Kerry's loins.

Kerry's cries escalated, her back arching as she gripped Abby's head, and she came triumphantly, calling out wordlessly. Abby wondered, as she drank in the heady elixir of Kerry's juices, if the boys could hear them, too...


**********************


"Mary, Mother of God..." Luka gasped out and then he started mumbling in Croatian, his brain no longer able to function in English. The things that John was doing to him were incredible and this night was surpassing the other times they had spent together. Perhaps it was because Abby and Kerry were just upstairs ignoring them? Knowing they were there certainly gave an extra edge to Luka's passion. It didn't seem to bother John any, not from what Luka could tell. The man was slowly relentless in his attempts to drive Luka crazy with desire.

"Are you ready to come, Luka?" John's whispered question took Luka by surprise. Not because John was finally going to allow it to happen, but rather because John was stretched out beside him and had whispered in his ear and Luka had never noticed John moving.

Luka's brain parsed the sentence and translated it into Croatian, then back again into English. By then he was pretty sure he could speak in his second tongue. "Do I have a choice?" he asked with a grin.

John chuckled as his fingers skimmed over Luka's belly. "You've got a choice. I can put my imagination to good use and find other ways to keep you pleasured tonight." The fingers skimmed lower until John was grasping Luka's cock. "As a matter of fact, I could probably keep you on edge all night, if that's what you desired."

"I'm tempted to tell you 'yes' just to see what you would do to keep me like this all night. But," Luka flexed his member, liking the way John's fingers moved with him. "I think I'll let you make me come now."

"Oh, you *think* you'll let me do that for you, do you?" John asked, his voice teasing. "To me, saying that you *think* you'll do that indicates that you aren't quite sure of what you want."

"I know what I want," Luka growled as he quickly reached out and grabbed John around his waist, then rolled them on the bed until he had John pinned under him. "And I know that I want to fuck you, even though I doubt if I'll last very long."

John's eyes shone as they looked up into Luka's passion darkened ones. "I'd like that," he softly replied and then he lifted his upper body enough to plant tender kisses upon Luka's collarbone and chest.

"My turn," Luka said as he gently pushed John's body back against the mattress. He kissed John fully on the mouth, his tongue slowly probing for entrance, and, once there, just as slowly exploring the familiar inside. Luka had been there many times already that night, but he found each time to be just as exciting as the first time had been, that night that seemed a million years away when he and John had *discovered* each other and the pleasure they could share.

>From John's mouth, the kisses proceeded slowly across his jaw line and down his throat. The moans he elicited from John drove him onward -- or rather, downward, and Luka took great delight in tormenting John even a fraction of the amount that he himself had been tormented.


***************


Covering Kerry's body with her own, Abby gently held the older woman's face in her hands, caressing it as she kissed Kerry's neck and cheeks. She felt Kerry's chest rise and fall beneath her own, the presence of breasts against her own, the steady counterpoint of heartbeats. Her legs entwined with Kerry's, the strong hands caressing her back. "I've wanted to do that for a long time," she said softly. "Part of me was hoping I'd lose the bet..."

Kerry replied with movements instead of words, bringing Abby's face to hers and kissing her mouth softly. "So much of this is happening because of you," Kerry whispered when they parted. "I love you for that, Abby. For bringing us together."

"Which 'us'?" Abby replied with a smile.

"You and me, John and Luka, all of us," Kerry said. "But mostly, John and me."

Abby traced the shape of Kerry's lips with a fingertip. "I didn't do that, Kerry," she said. "You and he found each other long before I met you."

"Maybe, but if you hadn't..."

"Shhh," Abby silenced her. "Let's not talk about it in terms of cause-and-effect, okay? Just enjoy it now that it's here."

Kerry nodded, and looked to the screen again. "My god, they're still at it," she said. "How long can those two keep this up?"

"We both know the answer to that, don't we, Kerry?"

"I suppose we do." Kerry sighed. "Well, when in Rome..."

Their mouths found each other again, as Abby's hand found Kerry's sex again, Kerry's hand moving to her erect nipple while the other arm pulled her closer. 'Again,' her body whispered to Abby's.

Abby obligingly kissed the hollow of Kerry's throat, trailing her lips down the sternum, over the belly, toward her legs again. It seemed important not to just jump to the final destination; observing the proper preliminary order made for maximum effect, she'd found.

"Wait," Kerry gasped, as Abby's lips brushed her labia. "I want you, too..."

Understanding immediately, Abby obediently turned herself around, facing the other way, and allowed Kerry to pull her hips closer. She lifted one leg, thighs astride Kerry's face, and settled her body gently onto Kerry's again. Keeping her weight rested on knees and elbows, but bringing as much skin into contact as she could.

Grateful that they were of similar height, Abby brought her mouth once more to Kerry's sex, feeling her friend and lover's mouth melding to hers simultaneously. The sensation of hot wetness sliding against her most sensitive spots, pressing, filling, teasing, caressing, penetrating, lavishing, all sent powerful bolts of exhilaration up her spine, through her skin, to light her mind like one of those carnival Ring-The-Bell poles that you whack with a hammer. By that analogy, Kerry was proving herself once more to be an erotic Hercules. Clang!

Gasping and sighing with delight, Abby kept her lips and tongue glued to Kerry's clitoris, directing as much of her own enjoyment as possible back into Kerry in turn, establishing a natural biofeedback loop. Licking while being licked, tasting while being tasted. Loving while being loved.

Kerry's fingers dug into her buttocks, holding her tightly, while her own hands, hooked around Kerry's thighs, pulled her groin closer against Abby's face. Their mutual climax quickly drew near, each increasing her pace and intensity until their lovemaking could no longer be contained, and they both came, one after the other in a 'photo finish'. Aching deliciously, nerves softly humming and purring, they rolled apart, spent for the time being.

"Did we outlast the guys?" Abby asked when she could speak steadily.

"Dunno, I haven't been watching," Kerry mumbled, weakly.

"Wasn't that the entire point of our being here?" Abby replied with a smile.

"Originally," Kerry admitted. "You complaining?"

"Not a bit." Abby craned her neck to look at the screen.


********************


"On your back, or...?" Luka asked John as he squirted a liberal amount of lubricant onto the palm of his hand.

"Good question. I'm not sure which would be easiest to see," John replied, his attention on something behind Luka's shoulder. Luka started to turn his head to see what had caught John's eye, but John shook his head. "Don't look or else they'll know we know."

"Know that we know what? Because I'm not sure I know what we know," Luka replied with a frown.

"We're being watched," John replied with a slow grin. "There's a camera mounted over there. I assume that it's the reason why we were locked down here."

"To provide a free show for Abby and Kerry?" Luka thought he should be angry or upset about that, but he wasn't. Instead, he found that he was amused by the idea...and it certainly explained some of the physical contortions that John had put them through. "I guess we should give them a good show then."

"Definitely. But I'm not sure if they'll see more if we do it face to face or if I'm on my belly or even on my hands and knees."

"We haven't done it that way yet," Luka commented as he spread lube over the condom that sheathed his erection. "I suggest we start out with that position and then switch to one of the other ones as the mood strikes us."

John grinned as he rolled over and raised up on his hands and knees. He looked over his shoulder at Luka. "I thought you were concerned about how long you'd last once you got inside me."

"I was...but I didn't know then that I had a captive audience who appreciated my abilities. I can't let my fans down now, can I?"

John moaned and arched his back as he felt Luka's fingers brush against his opening -- the lubricant was cool to his fevered skin and he threw his head back when a few of those fingers slipped inside him to work in the lube while slowly stretching him so he could take in all of Luka. "I wouldn't ever want to stand in the way of you and your adoring public," he said, his voice low. "So, I'll turn this segment of the show over to you and be your willing accomplice."

"I was hoping you'd say something like that," Luka said. "Now, move to the right, but just your bottom. That's it, now they can see it better." Luka's fingers began to thrust and his rigid member pulsed with each moan that was torn from John's throat by the actions.

"God, Luka, I need you in me now," John cried out as his body tried to impale itself on those wonderfully talented fingers.

"Soon, John. Soon. Let them see how beautiful you are when someone does this..." Luka pressed a finger firmly against John's prostate, then rubbed it back and forth, "to you. Let them be jealous that they're only seeing this on film and aren't here in person."

Despite his best intentions to tease John further for the viewing pleasure of the ladies upstairs, he soon found himself positioning the tip of his cock against John's skin, demanding entrance and receiving it. A few strokes later all thoughts of Abby and Kerry were chased from his mind as he concentrated on the tightness of the man under and in front of him and how good it felt to be inside that smoothness, loving John and making him beg for more.


****************


Abby pulled the blankets up to their neck, covering Kerry and herself. She settled into a spoon position behind Kerry, putting her arms around Kerry's waist and holding her gently. "So what do we do about John and Luka?"

"Keep them locked down there for our amusement for the rest of their natural lives?" Kerry suggested sleepily. "Feed them pancakes and spaghetti under the door to keep their strength up?"

"Sounds good to me," Abby said. "But sooner or later someone will ask why they haven't come in to work."

"You're right. I guess we'll have to let them out." Kerry cracked an eye open and looked at the men resting in bed together on the screen. "In the morning," she amended.

That sounded fine to Abby. They didn't look like they were up for any more lovemaking at the moment, anyway. Maybe after a good night's sleep. "You realize, of course," she said, "that they'll probably want to get even with us for the basement stunt."

She could hear the smile in Kerry's voice. "I can't wait..."

Abby kissed Kerry's cheek once more, and they fell asleep together.



To be continued

Story by Scott J. Welles and Cathy Roberts

Awakening slowly to the warmth of Abby's arms around her, the younger woman's warm skin molded softly against her back and legs, Kerry pried an eye open and glanced at the television screen. Left on all night, it showed John and Luka in a nearly identical position. The tape would have run out hours ago, of course, while they all slept, but the camera still showed the live image.

Breathing deeply to clear her head, she sat up slowly. Okay, she thought, fun's fun, but it was time to let them out. One thing she had to do first, though. John, Abby, and Luka weren't on until later that day, but she was scheduled to come in earlier. Reaching for the bedside phone, she dialed from memory and waited for a response. "ER," a bored female voice said.

"Randi, it's Dr. Weaver. What's the workload like so far today?"

"Nothing much," the clerk replied. "Dr. Greene's still on, and the residents are mostly doing paperwork. Nice and quiet."

"Good." That would make what she was about to do easier. "Tell Mark I won't be coming in this morning. I...I don't feel too well." The lie came clumsily to her lips.

There was an unusual note of concern in Randi's voice. "You're...you're calling in sick?"

"Yeah, I'm just going to rest up, and I'll be in this evening. Just let him know, or page me if there's an emergency."

"Are you all right?" Randi asked urgently. "You never call in sick, even when you look like hell. Is it serious?"

"No, Randi, it's just..."

"You want me to have Dr. Greene send someone over with some medicines? Or should I alert an ambulance? Do you..."

"Randi," Kerry interrupted quietly but firmly, "It's nothing to worry about. Believe me."

"But what do I tell him if he asks what's wrong with you? He'll want to know; you never take a sick day..."

Kerry let out a sigh and decided, screw it. "Tell him I'm having sex with two gorgeous men and a sexy brunette," she stated flatly.

There was a long silence at the other end, and then Randi finally said, "Well, why didn't you say so in the first place? I'll just tell him it's stomach flu, I promise." There was a smile in her voice.

"I'd appreciate that," Kerry told her.

"You go, girl," Randi said before hanging up.

Kerry replaced the phone and turned to see Abby, awake and smiling up at her. "You're a naughty girl, Kerry Weaver," the nurse purred. "Playing hooky, now?"

"Just for half a day..." Kerry let Abby pull her down for a kiss, her own hand straying down the length of the nurse's body to discover her growing wetness. The temptation to remain where they were was strong, but she eased back with effort. "Are you hungry?" she said.

"In more ways than one," Abby said. "But I assume you mean food?"

"Mmm-hmm." Kerry grinned. "How does breakfast in bed sound?"

Abby returned her smile. "Which bed?"

Kerry got up, crooking a 'follow me' finger.


*****************************


It was the soft giggling, more than anything else, that roused Luka from his slumber. He was acutely aware that his arms and legs were wrapped around those belonging to someone else. And not just any someone else, but John. He smiled as he felt the soft rise and fall of John's chest while the man breathed, snuggled next to him. Then he heard a faint whisper and another giggle and he opened his eyes to see Abby and Kerry standing at the foot of the bed, each of them grinning from ear to ear. The women were both clad in bathrobes, but the ties weren't secure and the soft terry cloth was gaping in enough places for Luke to know that, under the robes, the women were just as naked as he and John were under the covers.

"I hope the two of you got an eyeful last night," he wryly commented, keeping his voice low so that he wouldn't awaken John.

Kerry's eyebrows rose at Luka's comment and she did look a bit surprised, but it was Abby who replied. "What we didn't get to see *live* is still safely on tape to be enjoyed later. Maybe you and John would care to watch it with us?"

Luka grinned. "I like that idea very much." His body also liked the idea, judging by the way his cock rose to half mast at the idea of watching him being the recipient of all those wonderful things John had done to him the night before. "So, if the two of you are down here, I guess that means that we're no longer locked in?"

Kerry had quickly decided to wait until later to ask how Luka knew they were being filmed and instead went to the point of their visit to the basement. "We're hungry, and thought that you and John would want to make us breakfast."

"Let me see if I understand this correctly. You locked us in here last night, then filmed us making love. And now you're down here to find out if we, the two who have been sorely used by the two of you, would like to come up there and prepare breakfast?"

Kerry and Abby nodded. "That's it," Kerry replied.

John shifted slightly and the movement of John's body against his own made Luka fully erect. An old idea surfaced in his mind and he slowly smiled at the women. "Take a good look at what I have in my arms, ladies. A very good look. What do you see?" Luka asked. "Kerry?"

Kerry slowly smiled, her eyes soft. "You're holding John. A sound asleep John, to be exact. It has always amazed me that, while on duty, he can wake up in a heartbeat if he's taking a nap, but when off duty, he's dead to the world."

"So, I've noticed," Luka said. "Abby? What do you see?"

Abby licked her lips as she regarded the man in the bed with Luka. "I see a naked man who is just waiting to be *roused* in an enjoyable way."

Kerry looked quickly at Abby, then smiled. "We've put this off for so long, haven't we?"

"Too long," Luka replied. "I think there's room on this bed for the two of you if one gets in behind me and the other behind John."

Luka didn't need to suggest that twice. He grinned as he saw Kerry head directly for John's side of the bed, slipping out of her robe and then quickly getting under the covers. He felt her hands brushing against his own skin as she caressed John's. Then he felt Abby get into bed behind him, her breasts pressed up against his back as she spooned her body around him. And he knew that as she caressed his skin her hands were also touching John, maybe even Kerry's hands in passing. As much as liked being caressed, he also wanted all of their attentions to be on John since it seemed to him that all of their maneuverings had been to enable all three of them to make love to John at one time.

He gently took Abby's hand and placed it on John's hip, then his hand burrowed between his and John's bodies until he could stroke the other man. John's head was turned in Luka's direction and he used that advantage to place kisses upon those softly parted lips while Kerry teased the nape of his neck. It didn't take much of that before John began to stir, and in more than one way. Under his hand Luka could feel John lengthen and harden. Abby's hand joined his when John moved his leg a bit, and Luka could feel her cupping John's balls, softly massaging them in their sac. A low, guttural moan emerged from John's throat and Luka moved his hand lower, wanting to tease John at his sensitive opening. But he found another hand there, Kerry's hand. She grinned at him over John's shoulder.

It was suddenly too hot under the blankets and Luka wanted to watch John's body respond to them. He moved his legs, capturing the covers so he could move them to the foot of the bed. Abby and Kerry quickly picked up on what he was doing and they helped him. It was almost like unwrapping a present, with the gift being John in all his glory.

Abby raised up behind Luka and somehow managed to lean over him enough to be able to kiss and lick at John's chest, her tongue flicking at the only available teat.

"You know, I could get spoiled by this," John's sleepy voice cut through the heavy breathing. "Very spoiled." Another deep moan rumbled from his chest when Abby started to suck hungrily on what she had in her mouth. Picking up on Abby's cue, Kerry's mouth engulfed a part of John's nether regions.

Luka trailed his hand up John's body, following the outline of his surgical scar while he watched Abby and Kerry suckle on his lover. No, he corrected himself, *their* lover. At that moment John belonged to all of them. "I think we could get very used to spoiling you this way," Luka said, his voice giving away the desire that was welling inside his body.

"I'd let you," John huskily whispered and his hands sought out his lovers -- one hand ran through Kerry's hair, caressing her scalp and shoulder as she lovingly, yet hungrily sucked him. Another hand met warm flesh, but John wasn't quite sure if he was touching Luka or Abby. Not that it mattered much, but a slight adjustment in one direction brought him in contact with Luka's rigid cock. "You really should do something about that, you know. Why don't you move around and I'll see what I can do for you?"

The offer was tempting, but Luka shook his head. "You did enough of that last night." Luka's words were met by silent nods from the women. "This morning, I think we'll be the ones doing things for you." Luka looked down toward John's groin, where Kerry was still busy. "Kerry? Would you like to choreograph things?"

Kerry raised her head then and slowly smiled, looking for everything like the proverbial cat that had eaten the canary. "I most certainly would. Let me think for a moment." She sat up and looked at the other three, then at the bed. After a few moments she smiled. "I think I know what to do. Abby, let go of him, you can finish driving him crazy later. Luka, you'll have to get off the bed. See if you can find what you and John did with the lubricant and condoms, okay?"

The two of them had been rather wild, tossing things aside with little regard to where they landed, Luka silently acknowledged. But he didn't want to leave John. Still, the prospect of more to come pushed him onward. He gave John a brief kiss on the lips, then slipped out of bed, seeking the required items.

Abby looked expectantly at Kerry, waiting for instructions. Even though her mouth had left John's nipple, her fingers still toyed with it, and now that Luka was no longer between them, Abby moved her body next to John's, basking in the warmth from his skin.

"Abby," Kerry was still smiling as she looked over John's body at the other woman, "here's where I want you..."

A few minutes later, John wasn't sure if he was truly awake or having one of the most erotic wet dreams a man could possibly endure. He had been moved down on the bed until his butt was just at the edge of the mattress. Luka was preparing him prior to penetration, with help from Kerry and Abby. And both women had told him that he was on his own as far as pleasing them was concerned. If it was a 69 when two people were having mutual oral sex, what was it when it was three people? And if you added Luka into the equation, what then did it become? John was about to follow that thought when a finger pressed against his inside and sparks of pleasure began to radiate from his prostate. Then another finger joined in and John could hear Luka's voice as he directed Abby and Kerry's actions. God, they were good, John couldn't keep his hips from arcing toward them, wanting more. A mouth rewarded his enthusiasm by settling just on the head of his cock, teasing him with just a swirling tongue. Eyes closed and his head thrown back, John concentrated on the feeling -- it was Abby, he was sure of it. Kerry liked to take in as much of him as she possibly could the first time around. It was after she had him all wet and hot that she would then draw off and toy with the sensitive cockhead.

As the pleasure grew, John twisted his head to one side and he encountered the musky scent of a woman. Kerry's scent. He moved closer, his tongue already snaking out as he opened his eyes. He ran his fingers through the red curls that hid the object of his desire at that moment, but he continued to softly stroke for a few moments. It was important to him that none of his lovers felt left out or shortchanged. Having sex with two other people had been a challenge, but it hadn't quite prepared him for having sex with three people. No, he corrected himself as he felt Luka's strong fingers rubbing lube around his ass -- they were making love to each other. They were making love to him. There had been so many times when he had despaired of ever being loved and now he had three people loving him. Tears sprang into his eyes, but he didn't want to disrupt the proceedings by crying. Instead he gently parted Kerry's soft, yet engorged folds and then he touched her with his tongue, insistent and demanding that she find her pleasure at his ministrations.

Luka was ready for John and he could see that John was more than ready for him. Kerry, who had been very demanding as she had lead them into this dance, was now preoccupied with what John was doing to her, and Abby's hand upon Kerry's breast certainly helped to contribute to that distraction. Luka gently grabbed Kerry's hand and slowly moved it so that her finger was no longer in his way. Abby saw what he was doing and she gently removed her fingers as well, then grabbed the base of Luka's cock and looked up at him, waiting.

Luka nodded. "I'm ready and he's ready."

"Let's do it then," Abby replied as she guided him to John's opening. Luka gasped as the tightness of John's sphincter muscles grabbed him, holding him in place. Despite the preparation, John would still need to relax even further before he could take in all of Luka's cock. "Now, Abby," Luka ordered and he watched through a haze of passion as Abby's mouth wrapped around the only part of him that she could reach. She ran her mouth up and down his shaft, as if she were playing a musical instrument of some sort, a harmonica perhaps. And then her tongue slipped into John, making a tight spot even tighter as she teased John's body with it. And teased Luka's cock as well. His hands tightened upon John's thighs and two desires warred within him. One wanted to thrust the rest of the way at one time, right then even. Another one wanted to pull out so Abby could suck him dry. Later, he promised his body. Abby can suck later. This is for John...and us. With that thought, Luka moved forward slightly. John was relaxed enough to let him advance a bit and Luka took those centimeters slowly, savoring the feel of Abby's tongue upon his cock and the warmth of John's ass there, too. Even through the condom it all felt too good. Maybe one day, Luka thought, we can do this without protection. Maybe.

Abby, her room between the two men rapidly vanishing, moved around until she was by Kerry's side on the bed, only to find that Kerry had also changed positions. She had been kissing John but now she took Abby's arm, and guided her so she lay on top of Kerry, the women facing each other. She felt her hips lifted carefully so that John could penetrate her from behind. She reached back to help guide him into her, and felt latex; Kerry must have put a condom on him while Abby couldn't see.

The feeling of John's cock filling her was as delicious as always...no, more so this time. It was as if she could feel Luka's as well, inside John's. Medically ridiculous, of course, but it still felt as though each of his thrusts into her, hard or soft, were enhanced and amplified by Luka's into him. Abby cried out at the feeling, hugging Kerry's body against her own. She kissed the woman beneath her, her tongue filling Kerry's mouth even while John's cock filled her, and Luka's filled him. Kerry clutched at Abby's head with one hand, and John's with another, pulling them all closer.

My God, it's finally happening, Abby thought in a frenzy of desire. We're all making love together at last. In perfect harmony.

She licked and sucked the side of Kerry's neck, biting her shoulders gently, feeling Kerry's breasts rise against her own in response to each pulse of lovemaking, and she heard Kerry's mouth meet John's over her shoulder. They kissed each other with the kind of love that Abby had wished to see them share for the longest time; it felt as if John was making love to Kerry through her.

The thought was too much to contain, and she came with a cry wrenched from her deepest center, calling out their names, John's and Luka's. The men eased back, though neither had come yet, a little overwhelmed by the ferocity of her climax.

"Kerry," Abby gasped, regaining her senses, "you've got to try this." She slid off of John's erection and out from between them.

Kerry, agreeing, wasted no time in closing the gap between John and herself. She scooted closer to him, while Abby helped her sit up. Luka and John, still joined together, moved to join with her, too. Kerry put her arms around John's neck, one hand encircling Luka's as well, and her legs around their combined hips. Abby, sliding behind her, put her own arms and legs around Kerry and the men as well, and guided Kerry to lean back against her, forming a living cushion for her body.

Kerry moaned aloud, enjoying the feel of her breasts against John's chest, and Abby's against her back, and then he was at her entrance, penetrating her, and then -- dear God! -- he was inside her, like never before. Abby hadn't been kidding about the experience!

She hugged John closer, and Luka with her, sandwiched exquisitely between John and Abby, but feeling all three of her lovers at once. She craned her neck, kissing Abby once, but that was too much of a contortion. She contented herself with kissing John's neck, chest and shoulders, aware that John was kissing Abby around her. They broke off their kiss, and Kerry pulled his face to hers, kissing him with all the love she'd been denying for far too long. He returned it with a passion, and for a moment, it was as though it was just the two of them in the room. No Abby sucking her earlobe, no Luka licking John's neck, just John and Kerry. Then the moment passed, and Kerry found herself equally glad that Abby and Luka were with them.

Luka was panting louder now, his excitement growing along with the vigor of his movements, and John's erection seemed to grow inside her, filling her more completely. Kerry squealed, unable to contain herself, let alone the two men inside her. At least it felt like both men at once!

Abby's arms reached around Kerry and John to grip Luka's shoulders, her heels just managing to hook behind Luka's buttocks. Kerry felt Luka's hands on her hips and John's arms around her waist and Abby's. She felt as though she was enmeshed in a cage of her lovers' limbs, unable to move or think, desperate for the release of orgasm, yet never wanting this incredible moment to end.

"Oh...my God..." she gasped between breaths, "I love you...all of...you..."

As if her words upset the delicate balance, Luka came with a deep moan, his climax triggering John's in turn. Kerry, feeling them both, was launched into hers as well, each one prompting the next like a string of dominoes. John's cry of ecstasy blended with her own, the two sounding strangely harmonic to Abby's ears. Although not directly stimulated herself, she was so excited at the whole arrangement that feeling it all, even indirectly, was enough to make her come as well, if not nearly as strongly as before. So she was still a part of it all.

Abby slid out from underneath Kerry, lying beside her. Luka, his chest and shoulders glistening with perspiration, eased carefully out of John, rolling off him, and Abby was quick to pull him close, kissing him deeply. His arms circled her waist and pulled her close, promising more for her later. From the corner of her eye, she saw John and Kerry kissing each other in a very similar fashion. He was still inside her, more at rest than in motion. Their lips slowly parted, and Kerry let out a sound, equal parts sigh and moan, that was not quite like any sound any of them had heard her make before.

The two couples reached for each other, all finding a comfortable position together, lying unmoving save for the rise and fall of their breathing and the beating of four hearts. The ceiling spun slowly above them, or seemed to.

"Well," Luka said at last, breaking the sated silence, "I believe you two wanted breakfast?"

"We do," Kerry agreed, her voice slightly hoarse. "But I know better than to ask John to cook." She laughed, but she also caressed him lovingly to take the sting from her words.

"Smart woman," John muttered and he turned his head so he could kiss her.

"Hey, enough of that," Abby said as she playfully shoved at John's body. "I'm hungry. Luka knows how to cook and you can help him."

"Abby's right, I *do * know how to cook." Luka slipped out of the bed and held out his hand toward John. "Come and help me in the kitchen."

"I'm warm here. It's cold out there," John pointed out.

"It'll be warm in the kitchen once we start breakfast." Luka didn't move and John finally crawled over Abby's body and reached out for Luka's hand, accepting his assistance in getting out of the bed.

"You had better be thinking of baking something," John muttered as he headed for the stairs.

"I'm thinking of something very hot," Luka said as he followed John. At the base of the stairs, Luka looked back to look at Kerry and Abby. "Something hot and spicy...and something else. Something cold, but you'll like it."

"Mmm, sounds great already. Get it started already," Kerry said.

"Yeah, what she said. Get us some sustenance before we fade away to nothing," Abby added with a grin.

"As you wish." Luka headed on up the stairs and saw John over by the oven, already turning it on. He walked over to him and, after turning the over back off, wrapped his arms around him. "Leave it. Where do you think Abby and Kerry were last night when they were watching us? The living room?"

John shook his head. "I didn't hear anything from the living room and you can hear noises from there in the basement. Her room, most likely. She has a television in there. Why?" John turned around in Luka's arms and he broke into a grin as he saw the look of mischief in Luka's eyes. "You're not...?"

"I am. We need a blank tape, though. Why don't you get one while I cook? They were right about one thing; we all need some food."

"Deal." John pulled out of Luka's embrace and went to the entertainment center to look for a blank tape.

Luka scrounged in Kerry's well-stocked kitchen and quickly rustled up a filling breakfast in the style of his native cuisine. It wasn't anything fancy or elaborate, but it would serve their needs: hot, tasty, and filling. He found plates and silverware easily enough, then dished out four portions, placing two on a tray, along with napkins and glasses of water. If he could have found a rose in a vase, he'd have added it to the tray, but he didn't.

John reappeared in the kitchen doorway and gave him a thumbs-up, indicating that everything was ready on the technical end. Luka nodded, gestured for John to wait at the top of the stairs, and lifted the tray. He walked over to the open door of the basement and looked down the stairs.

He could hear their voices down there, only slightly muffled. They were talking about the having him and John watch last night's tape with them later. Luka grinned, as he had been thinking the same thing. He wanted to see John make love to him from a completely different angle. And, after that tape was over, they could all watch the tape yet to be made. But first, he thought, to set the stage.

"Breakfast in bed, Croatian style," Luka announced, descending the stairs and presenting the tray with a mild flourish. Nothing too extravagant, of course -- he didn't want the 'in bed' part becoming literally true.

The women murmured approval, setting the tray on their laps as they sat together. Abby, having tasted this particular dish before, complimented Luka on his choice while Kerry sampled it eagerly.

"I knew you'd like it," Luka said, backing away from the bed. "However," he added, reaching the top of the stairs, "there's one more dish to be served. One best served cold, of course."

Kerry swallowed a bite of her breakfast with relish and looked up. "What dish would that be?"

John and Luka glanced at each other with wicked smiles. "Revenge," they said together.

And the door shut firmly.

The women both looked up sharply, eyes widening in unison. They looked at each other. "They didn't...?" Abby gasped.

"I think they did," Kerry replied. She lifted the tray while Abby slid out of bed and dashed, still naked as a newborn, up the stairs.

She rattled ineffectually at the knob. "LU-U-UKA-A-A!!" she hollered, futilely, then gave up, slumping against the door. "What are you laughing about?" she snapped at Kerry.

The redhead's shoulders were shaking with stifled laughter. "Now I wish I'd had Randi send that ambulance," she chuckled.

Abby had to give up and laugh, too. Descending the stairs, she said, "Oh, what the hell. I guess turnabout is fair play."

They ate resignedly, neither one feeling particularly angry after all. "You realize they're gonna be upstairs watching us by now," Abby said.

"Of course. They're probably expecting us to give them a show, too." Kerry paused, an eyebrow raising. "Should we?"

"Like I said," Abby replied, shrugging. They finished their breakfast, and Abby set the tray carefully aside, then turned back to her friend. "Anyway, I do still owe you one, Kerry."

Kerry frowned, puzzled. "No you don't."

"Yeah, I do. You won the bet, remember? Double or nothing? And I went down on you once last night. Then we did each other, so that doesn't count." She smiled. "You've still got one coming. As it were."

"Yes, but Abby...I already said we were even, remember?"

Abby blinked. "Huh?"

"I said that if you cooperated with me on locking the guys down here, I'd call us even. That was before we went to bed. So we were already square."

"Oh." Abby considered that. Then an even better thought occurred to her. "Well, if that's the case...you know what that means?"

"What?"

Abby took Kerry in her arms, pulling her closer. "It means that *you* owe *me* one," she whispered, smiling broadly.

Kerry did a quick mental tally. "Oh, for the love of...!" She shook her head ruefully. "Abby, at this rate, we're never going to get this settled between us!"

With her lips just brushing Kerry's, Abby said, "You promise?"


*****************************


John leaned contentedly into the older man's side as they lounged on Kerry's bed. His stomach was full, Kerry's love for him had proved to be as real as his for her, and he finally had the chance to enjoy watching Abby and Kerry enjoy each other on the television screen. What, he thought, would be the perfect words to commemorate such a happy ending? Or, really, such a beginning?

"Luka," he said, "this looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

Luka turned his head to look at him strangely.

"It's a line, um, from a movie," John explained, a little embarrassed.

"I know," Luka told him with a tolerant smile. "But that has to be the worst Bogart impression I've ever heard." Luka's fingers guided John's chin upward so he could kiss him. The kiss was tender and caring and when it ended Luka was smiling broadly. "But I think you're right. And I know it's a friendship that will never end."


The End