John Carter was definitely not in the Christmas Spirit. The events
that had transpired over Christmas Eve had been more than enough to
put him in a bad mood. Take those and add in a heaping dose of guilt
from the phone call he had received from his father because he was
late showing up for Christmas Dinner with his family, and he was on
the verge of joining Ebeneezer Scrooge in calling Christmas a "humbug".
He stared at the flat spare tire and knew this was the icing on the
cake. He looked at his cell phone, thinking he should call his father
and let him know that he was going to be even later. A whole lot
later. It wasn't a call that he was looking forward to making. He
replaced the cover on the spare and wondered why it had been his bad
luck to buy a new Jeep only to find out that the spare was flat. It
wasn't fair that the right back tire was flat -- the Jeep wasn't that
old. But, as he had noticed over the years, life wasn't fair. If it
was, then there would be a seven year old boy playing outside with his
Christmas toys today instead of lying in a funeral home awaiting
preparation for his burial.

He leaned back against the side of the Jeep and dialed the number for
his grandparent's house. It was answered on the third ring,
surprisingly by his father. Roland was not happy with the turn of
events. He was so angry...disappointed...whatever with John that he
told him if he wasn't going to be there within the hour, then he
shouldn't even bother showing up at all. John tried to point out to
his father that the odds of him finding a place that could either
sell him a new tire or repair the flat were slim, but Roland was
having none of that. He was still upset that John had worked Christmas
Eve once again. And that John had overslept on Christmas Day. John
ended the phone call, wondering if any of it -- his family, his job,
his life -- was worth it anymore. He was lost in those thoughts and
didn't notice the car that pulled over behind his Jeep.

"It looks as if you need some help."

John looked up sharply, surprised to see Luka Kovac. "Yeah. My
tire's flat and so is the spare."

"Well, I don't think my spare tire will fit your rims," Luka said
as he came to a stop in front of John. "But, I can give you a ride
somewhere. Where were you heading?"

"To my grandparents house for a family get-together. But, I really
don't want to go there. Especially not now. What are you doing out
this way?"

"I gave Carol and the babies a ride home this morning and fell asleep
in her living room. She invited me to have dinner with her and her
mother, but I didn't feel comfortable with that idea, so I left. My
apartment isn't far from here."

"Really? Mine's just a few blocks away."

"Mine, too. Would you like a ride home then?"

"Sure. That would be great. I guess I should get the presents
and stuff out of the Jeep."

"I'll help you with that."

"Thanks."

Five minutes later, the two were on their way to John's apartment
building. Once there, they discovered that Luka lived in the
apartment complex across the street, so Luka parked in his usual
spot and helped John take the packages up to his apartment.

"Would you like some coffee?" John asked as he put a bag of presents
by the small tree.

"I have a better idea. Why don't you come across to my apartment
and I'll let you see what we use to keep warm in Croatia."

"Sounds alcoholic."

"It's very alcoholic. And very traditional." Luka smiled.

John nodded. "Sounds better than sitting around here drinking coffee."

"You have a nice place here."

John shrugged. Over the years he had gone from living at his
parents large house to a nice apartment to sharing a large apartment
with Dennis Gant to a room at the dorm to living in a basement of a
house and now this -- a two room efficiency apartment. But, the
place was clean and the rent reasonable. It wasn't as if he had a
lot of stuff and needed more space. "It's a place to sleep. I don't
really need more than that, right?"

Luka grinned. "That's what I say. Until I accepted Kerry's job
offer, I was living on a boat. Not a lot of extra room there, but
it was a wonderful way to travel. Come on."

Luka's place was a real apartment, but not that much larger than
John's, even without a Christmas Tree taking up space. John wished
he knew more about Croatian customs so he would know if Luka
normally didn't put up a tree or if there was some other reason
for its absence. There were a few personal touches to the place,
mainly photographs. John guessed they were of Luka's family.
Immediate family judging by the one photo of Luka, two adorable
children and a woman who reminded John of Carol Hathaway. She
had the same curly dark hair, ivory skin and quirky smile. That
explained why Luka appeared to like Carol.

Luka came out of the kitchen with a tray. He sat it down on the
table and when John walked over there he saw that it held bread,
a salt shaker and two glasses with a decent amount of clear
alcohol in them.

"Welcome to my home, John. Dip the bread in the salt, then take
a shot of the Slivovitz."

Under Luka's amused scrutiny, John did as he was told. Luka
laughed as John gasped after downing the Slivovitz. "God Almighty,
what is that stuff?"

"Plum brandy, Croatian style." Luka went to the kitchen and
returned with the bottle, handing it to John.

John shook his head as he read the label. "It's one hundred
proof, Luka. This stuff is lethal."

"But, it warms you up."

John couldn't disagree with that. He held out his glass for a
refill and Luka cheerfully obliged him. Then they drank a toast to
Christmas Day. And a toast to Kerry Weaver. And a toast to Chicago.
And a toast to Robert Romano. And a toast to everyone in the world
who was alone on Christmas Day. By the time they were done with
the toasts, they were sprawled on the sofa, unwilling and unable
to do much more than sit there and talk.

"Is that your wife and children?" John asked, pointing to the
group photo.

"Yes. That's an old photograph."

"They aren't here with you?"

Luka shook his head. "No. They died before I left Europe. My
youngest daughter and wife were killed in an explosion. A Serb
planted a bomb in a car and they were amongst the many victims
that day. Do you know what was so ironic about the fact that the
blast killed my wife? She was a Serb. We didn't care much about
that because we had grown up living next door to each other. When
the war broke out, we realized that we loved each other and we got
married. Our parents gave us their blessings and we were very happy."

"I'm glad that you had that. I keep looking for happiness, but I
just can't seem to find it."

"Sometimes happiness is right in front of you. I used to tease
Marija when we were children, and yet I ended up falling in love
with her. Carol reminds me of Marija."

"I could see that they resemble each other."

Luka nodded. "Yes. That and so much more."

"What about your other daughter? Your oldest?"

"She caught pneumonia and died a few months after her mother and
sister." Luka sniffed and wiped at his eyes. "It's been years
since they died, but I still miss them. There are days when I
expect to hear my girls laughing as they try to sneak up behind me.
They used to love to jump on my back when they thought I wasn't
looking." He smiled as he remembered the fun he had with his
daughters. His little jewels he had called them.

"I'm sorry."

Luka shrugged. "It's been a long time. I should be over them
by now."

"Why would you think that? You loved them and they loved you.
You should always remember them with a smile and a tear."

"What about you? You said that you had not found happiness yet,
so I will assume that means you have never been married. At least
not happily married."

John laughed. "You got that right. Haven't even come close."

"You have family here? You said you were on your way to a family
get-together."

"Sometimes they're here. Mostly, they aren't. My parents travel
a lot for business. I think that over my life I've spent more
time away from them than I've spent with them."

"Now it's my turn to be sorry."

John smiled. "Thanks."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"You say that you've not seen your family much. So why not go
there today?"

"They don't really want me there, Luka. When I called my father to
tell him that I was having car trouble, he told me that if I couldn't
be there within the hour, then I just shouldn't come at all. So, I
won't go. It's no big deal. They manage fine without me the rest
of the year, they'll manage fine without me today."

"Now I truly am sorry for you, my friend."

"Don't be. I'm not worth the pity, Luka."

"Now that's just the alcohol talking. You are definitely worth
a lot, John Carter."

"Yeah, right," John scoffed.

"You are." Luka put his glass on the end table, then leaned over
and gave a very surprised John a kiss on the lips. "Don't ever
doubt yourself."

"Uh, Luka, I don't know what's acceptable back in Croatia, but
over here, men just don't kiss men on the mouth like that."

Luka smiled at John's nervousness. He liked the way John was
blushing as he tried to be tactful. Well, Luka had no use for
tact right now.

"They do if they want to get that other man into bed, John."

John tried to edge backward, away from Luka, but the man's lips
found his once more, lingering there this time. And when Luka
quickly ran his tongue over his lower lip, John shivered.

Luka pulled back, still smiling. "You liked my kiss, no?"

John shook his head. "No. I...Luka, no. I'm not...I don't know
what made you think that I would like that, but I don't. I've
never even thought about kissing another guy."

"Maybe it's time you should." Luka leaned forward once more and
his smile widened as John leaned ever so slightly into his kiss.
This time, when Luka ran his tongue over John's lips they quickly
parted for him and he accepted the invitation with vigor, his
tongue exploring the contours of John's mouth. He moved
John's body until he had him prone on the couch, using his body
to pin John to the cushions. He broke off their kiss, but he didn't
give John any time to think as he quickly placed a trail of kisses
down his neck and chest. His eyes blazed down into John's and he
was half afraid that John would try to stop him. But, by the way
that John's hands were gripping Luka's shirt, it was obvious that
John wasn't going to do that. It was time to take this to the next level.


Luke stood and walked away from the couch. "I think we should take
this into the bedroom, John."

John nervously licked his lips, not knowing that his action was
causing quite a stir in Luka. He hadn't been lying when he told
Luka that he had never even thought about kissing another man. And
now Luka wanted to go even further with him. The only thing crazier
than the fact that he had just allowed Luka to kiss him three times
was that he was giving serious consideration to going into that
bedroom with Luka. Maybe he had never woke up from his nap? This
was just some dream...some manifestation born of what he had eaten
for breakfast or the alcohol that he had been pouring down his
throat over the past hour. Yeah, that's what it was. A
hallucination. He would awaken in his own bedroom and find that
he wasn't even late for dinner at his grandparent's. His father
wasn't going to be angry with him, his Jeep wasn't going to have
two flat tires and all would be right with the world. Hell, as
long as he was at it, he might as well go back in time and have
that little boy be alive.

"John?" Luka was patiently waiting in the doorway and he extended
his hand out to him. "I want to make love to you, John. Not just
have sex with you, although I can live with just sex."

John shook his head as he got to his feet. The door out of the
apartment was to his left and Luka stood to his right. He sneaked
a furtive look at the exit, then looked back at Luka. "I can't.
I've never..."

"Remember what I said about happiness? Sometimes it is right in
front of you. But, you'll never see it unless you look. All I'm
asking is that you look." Luka had been with several men and women
since he had lost his family, but he had never made love to any of
them. The last person he had made love with had been Marija and
she had been gone for so long. But, he really did want to make love
to and with John Carter. If only he would let him.

Luka stretched his arm and wriggled his fingers. He saw John glance
at the door again, then look down at the floor. His heart felt
heavy as he realized that John was going to walk out on him. Then
John looked up, his nervousness back in full force and his tongue
snaked out to moisten his lips once more. Then he walked toward
Luka, resting his hand in Luka's.

Luka smiled as he pulled John closer. "You won't regret this,
John. I promise you this."

"I don't know what to do."

Luka laughed. "Don't worry about that. I do know what to do and
I assure you that nothing you do will disappoint me, John." He
lowered his head and nuzzled John's neck, making note of the fact
that this made John squirm and softly moan. It was going to be a
delight to find all the areas of John's body that were sensitive
to his lips, tongue and touch. A wonderful delight indeed.

John's mind was racing. There was a hungry look in Luka's eyes --
there was no way it could be interpreted as anything else -- not a
look of concern, not a look of pleasantness, not a look of disregard.
It was a look of lust, desire. Passion, heat and promise. Luka
wanted him and he wanted Luka. He couldn't deny that. But, he also
knew that never before in his life had he felt sexual attraction for
another man. Must be the Slivovitz, he thought. Either that, or
I'm passed out and dreaming. Yeah, he told himself, I'm drunk. So,
what the Hell?

Feeling bold, John quickly stepped forward, grabbed Luka by the
shoulders, pulled him close and planted a kiss on his mouth. He
had intended it to be a quick kiss, his own testing of the waters, but
Luka had other ideas. John felt Luka's arms wrap around his body,
crushing him against his chest, molding their bodies against each
other. He could feel Luka's arousal through his pants and knew
that Luka couldn't miss his either. Their lips locked together, both
sets of hands worked at a frenzied pace to remove their clothing.

The kiss finally ended because neither man could breathe. They
faced each other, panting for air and grinning. John was
undressed down to his boxers. Luka still had on his pants. John
closed his eyes and sighed as Luka laid his hand over his cock.
Through the fabric, Luka's hand felt hot and John wanted to feel
it on his bare skin.

Luka lowered his head and began to nuzzle John's neck, pushing
him backwards until he had him pressed up against the door. He
could feel a dampness against his palm where the pre-ejaculate
from John's cock was soaking through the fabric of his boxers.
Luka knew that his own cock had to be leaking just as much, if
not more. He had never wanted anyone as much as he wanted John
right now.

Luka licked his way down John's chest, eliciting a small moan as
he flicked his tongue over John's nipples, first the one on the
left, then switching to the one on the right, turning them both
into hard nubs that he could easily suck into his mouth. He
snaked his other hand behind John, cupping the curve of his butt
and giving himself a hand-hold on each side of John. He gently
bit John's nipple and felt John's hands grasp his head to hold
him in place. But, he wasn't having any of that. He was on a
mission, and he had no intention of letting anything deter him
from his goal of driving John completely wild with want and need.

John eased his grip on Luka's head, but kept his hands entwined
in his hair as Luka kissed his way down his chest and over his
belly. Finally, Luka was on his knees, and he closed his mouth
over the curve of John's cock, caressing it with his tongue
through the fabric. Toying with John, he repeatedly licked its
length until the cotton material was nearly transparent. Beneath
his mouth and hands, he could feel John shudder.

"Luka, please?" John begged. He wanted to feel Luka's mouth on
his skin, have Luka take him into his mouth. Luka's response to
his plea was to use his tongue to fondle his balls before taking
them into his mouth. Despite the fact that he was amazed at what
Luka could do using just his tongue, John wanted more.

"Pull them off, Luka," he growled, tightening his grip in Luka's
hair as his patience neared its end. He almost cried from
anticipated relief when he felt Luka's hand leave his butt and
then unsnap his boxers. He jerked as he heard and felt the
ripping of his underwear as Luka took him literally and pulled
them off of his body. The air felt shockingly cold against his
damp skin, but Luka's mouth was hot as it closed over the head
of his cock. Inch by inch, Luka slowly moved his mouth down
the shaft, taking in as much of him as he could.

"Oh, God," John closed his eyes and rested his head against the
door, rhythmically beating it against the wood as Luka began to
energetically suck him.

Luka's own cock was aching from want and need as his mind
registered the reactions he was getting out of John. But, as
much as he wanted to feel John's mouth on his cock, or bury
himself deep inside of John, he wanted to make John come. Wanted
to hear him scream. He knew that moment was nearing, could read
John's body language to that effect, could tell by the way that
John's fingers were clenching and unclenching in his hair. At
this rate, he would be bald by the time he was finished with
John. Hell, it would be worth it. And then John was pushing
him away. No, he couldn't stop them now. Luka shook his head
and tried to push his mouth back down John's length.

"Luka, get a condom. Now, Luka." John's voice was urgent as
he tried once more to disengage Luka from his body.

Luka looked up at John through a haze born of lust, but John's
words were slowly sinking in. A condom. He needed a condom.
He scrambled to his feet, grabbed John by the wrist and pulled
him over to the bed. Luka flipped the covers back.

"Sit down," he growled as he rummaged in the nightstand drawer
for a condom and something to use a lubricant. Finally he had
both items in his hands and he tore open the package with a
vengeance, not liking the fact that he had to wait. But, he
made himself slow down as he applied some lubricant to John's
bare skin, smiling as he heard John gasp as his thumb and
fingers slid feather light over the tip of his cock. Then Luka
rolled the condom down the shaft and eagerly took John into his
mouth once more.

John gave up on trying to watch Luka have his way with his body
and he lay back on the mattress, simply enjoying what was happening.
He jumped as he felt a slick finger lightly skim over his anus and
it brought home to him the fact that Luka wanted to actually have
sex with him. Anal intercourse. Go all the way. Could he handle
that? He really wasn't sure. A moan of pleasure escaped his lips
as that finger slipped inside of him, going straight for the
prostate and massaging it. If it felt anything like this, then
John knew he could handle it. He whimpered as Luka used his lips,
tongue and fingers to bring him to his climax. He heard a small
scream as he came and was only dimly aware that it had been his
own voice. And then that wonderful warmth was gone from his cock
and Luka was kissing his face.

"You liked that, no?" Luka asked with a smile.

"I liked that, yes," John replied, knowing he was grinning like
a fool, but not caring.

"Shall we see what else you like?"

"I know one thing I would like."

"What's that?"

"For you to be undressed. I feel a little self-conscious here."

Luka's eyes slowly surveyed the body which lay in front of him, then
he smiled. "You have no reason to feel that way, John. You're
beautiful." Luka chuckled as that comment seemed to embarrass John.
Why should he feel that way over having his body complimented?

"You don't believe me, do you?"

"I've never had a man tell me that before."

"That's because you've never been with a man before. Haven't your
female lovers admired your body?"

John shrugged. "I don't know. I guess so. I never really noticed.
When I'm with a woman I'm usually concentrating on doing the things
that will please her."

"I see. Well, that's what I'm doing. Concentrating on things that
will please you. I believe that you liked it when I did this." Luka
lowered his head to John's collarbone and licked his way down the
middle of his chest, his hands roaming freely over other parts of his
body. The pleasurable sensations made John forget that he was the
only one naked in the room and he closed his eyes as he tried to not
think about the fact that it was another man making him feel this good.
He was sure of one thing: this was one Hell of a lot better than dinner
at his grandparent's house.

"I didn't think I was tickling you or doing anything funny," Luka's voice interrupted his thoughts.

John opened his eyes and shook his head. "You weren't. I was just
thinking that this is much better than what I was supposed to be doing
right about now."

"Good," Luka smiled, then he got to his feet and removed the rest of his clothing.

John couldn't keep his eyes off of Luka's erection. Luka's cock wasn't
larger than his own, but it appeared huge when John thought about what
Luka intended to do with it.

"Would you like to touch me?" Luka asked.

John slowly nodded, then sat up. He tentatively reached out to stroke
the smooth skin and his touch quickly became firm. He ran his
fingers up and down the shaft, then bravely cupped Luka's balls in his
hand, admiring the weight of them.

"Do you want me to...well, you know?" John wanted to take Luka into his
mouth, but he wasn't sure that Luka wanted that. And he wasn't really
sure what to do with it once he got it there. Just hold it in his
mouth? That wasn't what Luka had done to him. The man had licked and
sucked and kissed and it had felt damn good. He should try to make
Luka feel just as good.

Luka laughed. "Yes, I want you to "you know", John." He reached down
and wrapped his hand around John's, trapping it against his cock.
"There's no rush. Take your time. Why don't you start by just kissing
the side of it, or maybe my thigh? Of course, if you don't feel
comfortable with the idea of sucking my cock, you don't have to do
that. I can live without it." But he hoped that John would do it.
He wanted to watch John take him into his mouth and discover just how
fun it was. He closed his eyes as John did that nervous thing with
his tongue again, then he sighed as he felt that tongue gently touch
the hot skin of his cock.

And then Luka was lost to his pleasures as John discovered the many ways
he could use his mouth to please him. John was eager to please and it
was obvious to Luka that John had been paying attention during his own
blow job. And probably during all the ones he had received from women
over the years. Finally though, Luka had to gently disengage him. He
was getting too close to climaxing and he didn't want that to happen
yet.

"Did I do something wrong?" John looked up at him, confusion and
worry in his eyes.

Luka smiled reassuringly. "No, you were doing everything right.
Too right. I don't want to come yet. I want to be inside you,
John. Are you ready for that?"

Feeling as ready as he would ever be, John slowly nodded.

"Good. Why don't you lay down?"

Luka watched as John stretched out on his stomach, his body tense. That wouldn't do at all. John needed to be relaxed for this.

"How about a massage?"

"That would be okay," John replied, his voice shaky.

Luka climbed onto the bed and straddled John's thighs, running his
hands lightly up John's back and feeling the tension there. No, he
thought, this wouldn't do at all. But, before he began with the
massage, he wanted to get John settled for what would happen after
that.

"Lift up your hips," Luka said.

John did as instructed and Luka settled a pillow under his hips. The
crisp linen felt cool against his hot skin and he let out a sigh
as Luka began to knead his shoulders.

"You like this, no?"

John smiled. "I like this, yes."

"And this?" Luka leaned down and licked his way up John's spine,
ending with a kiss on the nape of his neck.

"Oh, yeah, I like that."

"What about this?"

John felt Luka move off of his thighs and then his legs were pushed
apart. The next thing he knew, Luka's tongue was making its way up
his thigh and into places that he had never felt a tongue go. A
shiver ran through his body and he gasped at the intrusion, not
wanting it to end.

And it didn't. The first intrusion segued into another until John felt
a small burning and then ecstasy rushing through his body. Everything
blurred for him after that, although he was dimly aware that their
bodies were moving in sync. He felt the warmth of Luka's body
against his skin, and Luka's hand urgently stroking his cock. John
had no idea when he had become hard again, but now he was very much
aware of his arousal and the need for release.. Luka stroked until John
came again, his scream of pleasure muffled by the mattress below him.

Yet the pleasure didn't cease with that sweet release. Luka continued
to move within him, taking his time until he could no longer bear the
pleasure. Then his thrusts took on new life, gaining speed and intensity
until Luka struck home one final time with a shout and then collapsed
against John's back, rolling them both to their sides before he slipped
out.

Luka quickly discarded the condom, then climbed back into bed, spooning
his body behind John's and pulling the covers up over them both. He
nuzzled John's neck and grinned when John pushed his body back against
him.

"You found that to be good, no?"

"I found that to be good, yes. Very good indeed."

"See? I was right about finding happiness in unusual places."

John grinned. "Yeah, you were. I know I certainly would have never
looked to another man for happiness. Or satisfaction. That was
really good, Luka."

"It was good because you are special." Luka was sure that his comment
would make John blush again. He raised himself up on one elbow and
pulled John onto his back. Sure enough, his cheeks were rosy.

"You are very special to me, John Carter. I want to make love with
you often. Do you want that?"

John looked up into Luka's eyes, not sure what he was looking for.
Some sign that Luka really meant what he said? Maybe a hint of humor
at his expense -- seduce the straight guy and then tell everyone about
it? John quickly discarded that thought. While it was true that he
had not known Luka for a long time, he did know that Luka didn't buy
into the gossip mill. Now, if it had been Dave who had seduced him,
then the whole hospital would know about it before the end of the
day. But, it wasn't Dave. It was Luka, and John slightly nodded
as he realized that he did want Luka to make love to him again. And
again, and again.

"Yes. I want that," he said.

Luka's smile widened and it lit up his eyes. "Good. Then I guess
that I can tell you Merry Christmas now and really mean it."

"Luka, this has been the best Christmas present I've ever had," John
reached up to caress Luka's cheek and he was surprised when Luka closed
his eyes and pressed his face into John's hand, kissing his palm.

"I should be the one thanking you, John. You're the one who gave
me a gift today."

"Equal gifts then."

Luka opened his eyes wide as he felt John's other hand skimming over
his thigh. "Oh yes, very equal gifts, John." He fell back to the
bed and John followed him, covering his body with his own.

"So, you like this, no?" John asked as he kissed his way across Luka's
chest and then down. John had often thought that Luka's eyes looked
haunted by a distant pain and finding out about his family had let
John know he had been right. He wanted to take away that pain. Wanted
to let Luka see that there was still something worthwhile to live
for -- he wasn't sure if he meant the pleasures of the flesh or the
warmth of love -- he didn't really care. What he cared about was that
hours ago he was on the verge of giving up and now he was finding
that he really did have a reason to go on. That he didn't have to be
alone to shoulder the pain of the world. Luka would be there to
share it with him. Luka understood what it was like in a way that
no one else ever could.

"I like this, yes," Luka replied with a sigh. He had almost given up
on ever again having feelings of love for someone. Then he had met
John and he had begun to hope that things were turning around for him.
He knew that he would always be wary of life and what it had to offer.
Knew that he would be afraid of losing John the way he had lost Marija
and his daughters. But, if he ever wanted to enjoy love again, then
he would have to take that risk. Learn to live with that fear and
control it. Learn to let John get close the same way Marija had been
close -- a companion to his heart and soul.

It was time to once more enjoy life and there was no time like
the present to begin.


The end.